A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Brittany

I ordered some magnetic car signs for 5 of my little fairies to advertise and see if we can drum up some business for them.  3 of them are college students and 2 are in their early twenties.  All 5 of them are friends and they're a great bunch to work with and I'm enjoying getting to know them.  I met with 2 of the girls at the restaurant that Brittany is a waitress at this past Sunday for lunch to give them all their car signs. 

Brittany waited on us and we got to converse a little bit.  It was so nice.  She's just an awesome kid.  She goes to school full-time and she waitresses full-time, and on the little bit of time off she has, she's hoping to do some Errand Fairy work.  This is only the second time I've seen her in person, but I continue to be amazed at her level of maturity for a 19 year old.  She was raised well and I thank God for leading me to the parents that I chose for her.  He took a really bad situation and turned it into something wonderful.

I'm having a garage sale in 2 weeks and Brittany wants to come and sell some of her stuff to make some extra money.  I'll be so happy to have her there!  I told her that her mom was also invited but I'm not sure if Becky is really ready to be around me yet.  Maybe one day.  I'm not pushing anything....just letting her know that the door is open.  Some of my other fairies are bringing stuff to sell too so it should be an awesome day.  I'm really looking forward to spending the day with my girls. :)

Twenty years ago I was such a young, foolish and absolutely terrified girl.  My first thought when I found out I was pregnant was abortion.  I did not want to own up to my resposibility in any way.  I wanted to end the "situation" as soon as possible and pretend it never happened.  Due to this happening around tax time, I had my refund check to pay for the abortion and I had an appointment made at a woman's clinic.  My mom, my best friend Pam from high school, and my cousin Veronnica are the 3 wise and strong women who talked me out of it.  They are the reason Brittany has the full and thriving life that she has today.  Yes, the decision to adopt was ultimately mine, but it would be wrong to take the credit knowing my state of mind and overwhelming fear back then.  I'm thankful to God for these women who bravely shared their thoughts with me and gently guided me down the right path.  They saved Brittany's life, and for that, I am so thankful.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Someone Done Me Wrong

Sounds like a sad country song, doesn't it?  Well my story isn't quite that dramatic...just a little inconvenient.  A couple of months ago I suspected that someone had sabotaged my blog because I kept having "issues" with it.  Recently, blog readers and friends started emailing me privately saying that they keep trying to leave comments but they couldn't, and some said that it says I've blocked them.

Ahhhhh...I knew it.  I wasn't exactly hacked because I gave 2 people my password in the past to help me do some things on my blog.  One of them sabotaged me.  Yes, I know exactly who it is.  No, I'm not going to name them on here.  That would serve no other purpose than to be vindictive on my part, and I really don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

I haven't blocked anyone and I apologize to anyone who thinks I would have done something like that.  I have a gmail addy listed on my right sidebar, but to tell you the truth, I haven't checked it regularly in a long time because I haven't been blogging regularly.  I'm going to start checking it daily now.  If you can't leave a comment and want to, just shoot me an email instead.

The only solution to the problem is to create a new blog and CHANGE MY PASSWORD.  That will be happening soon, I just don't have time today.  I worked 6 days this week and have to spend today doing all of my errands, laundry and cooking for the work week today.  But I will get around to creating the new blog as soon as I can and when it's finished I'll announce it here so I can start hearing from all of you again. 

Sorry for the inconvenience and hope everyone has a peaceful and relaxing Sunday.  :)

Friday, September 16, 2011

TGIF!!!

It's been a crazy week to say the least.  Had a meeting with the big boss this week.  Things just aren't what they used to be around here and I took all of my concerns to him.  He asked how The Errand Fairy was going.  I told him GREAT!!  He said if I wanted to go part-time he was fine with that since we're so slow around here now.  I told him for now I'd like to stay at 40 hrs/week since I seem to be handling both jobs just fine.  He said that would work.  I actually WOULD like to drop down to around 20 hrs/week just so I don't have to be here as much, but I know that's a little too risky right now, financially speaking.  So I'm still here....at work, a.k.a. Hell...doing the responsible thing.  Blech!  lol

I haven't seen Brittany again since our mtg 2 weeks ago, but I've texted with her and talked on FB with her consistently.  I invited her to haul a bunch of her stuff over to my house on Oct. 1st and have a garage sale with me to make some extra cash.  She said she'd love to.  I told her to bring her mom along, too.  They're both invited. 

Dwayne, Scarlette and I are skipping town next weekend and spending the weekend in the Smoky Mtns.  That will be a nice little getaway.  I could use the break.

Errand Fairy is going well!  It's slow building it up like anything else worth doing, but I'm enjoying it.  I have a couple of fairies that I use to do my daytime work and that's working out really well.  I have an attorney who bought a monthly package of 20 hrs.  She used those up in 2 days and bought 30 more hours, lol.  Woo hoo!  I also had a banker call this week who wants us to set up a surprise birthday party for his wife and have everything ready when they fly back in from Vegas.  This really is a fun job!  Well, most of the time.  Had to clean out the attorney's garage and that wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs....but it paid well.  :)

Haven't been on the scale in 2 solid weeks....realized that this morning and thought, hey...why not!  The last time I weighed I was 254 and had been holding there for several weeks.  I was bracing myself, trying to guess what it would be.  Back up to 260 perhaps???  Stepped on and it said 253.5.  Imagine that.  Not caring diddly squat about my weight and only worrying about my work stress and building up the Errand Fairy and I lose 1/2 a lb. instead of gaining.  Small miracles, I suppose. 

Walking the Half Marathon in November is looking more and more bleak.  I just haven't gotten it together the way I needed to.  I've been trying to do my long walks on Saturdays, and I've gotten some of them in, but I've screwed up a lot, too.  One Sat I forgot to wrap my toes before I headed out, and by the 3rd mile I could feel the blisters forming.  I quit before it got really bad.  Last Saturday I had to clean out the attorney's garage...that was an all day job.  Tomorrow, I'm heading out early to go to my mom's and work at her house 8 hrs, then stay for dinner.  Sundays are when I run all of my personal errands, grocery shopping, get ready for the work week, laundry, etc.  I don't know...it's just not coming together.  The furthest I've walked I think is 7 miles.  That's a far cry from 13 that I need to be building up to.  Kim keeps telling me we still have time but I'm not sure I'm gonna' make it.  I've already paid for the hotel room in Savannah though, so even if I don't make it into the race, I'll still ride down with Kim and spend the weekend with her, either way.

It's time to start my work day so I'm signing off 'til next time.  Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend! :)

Monday, September 5, 2011

Here's My Baby


She has my eyes, but thank God, she doesn't have my figure.
She's gorgeous.  :)

Friday, September 2, 2011

I'm Meeting Brittany Monday

Wow.  It looks like the time is finally here.  And I am a basket case.

For some reason, and I have no idea why, I seem to keep acquiring new readers on this blog, despite my lack of posting, and despite my non-existent weight loss.  I haven't talked about Brittany in quite a while, so for those of you who don't know, she is the daughter that I adopted out when I was a teenager.  I've written a couple of posts about it, so if you want some back story, you can find them in the archives.

I've got tears streaming down my face as I type this, washing away my mascara and eyeliner, because this is so hard to talk about...to deal with.

If you've never adopted out a child, and then had the chance to one day finally meet them in person, then you probably can't understand the magnitude of emotions that are involved.  Let me just say...this is a big deal.

Huge.

I talked to Brittany a couple of times through email when she was 16 because she wanted her mom Becky to find me...and she did.  It wasn't hard...Becky knows a lot of my family members because they used to go to church together many years ago, and we live in the same state.  But after a couple of emails her mom just couldn't handle it, so we ceased contact.  When Brittany was nearly 18, I sent a friend request to her on Facebook to see if she wanted contact with me again.  She did.  We've been chatting all along thru FB msgs for nearly 2 years now.  Brittany will turn 20 in November.  Nothing big or major....just small talk, but always staying in touch.

About a year ago, Brittany asked me if I'd be willing to meet her in person.  Of course I said yes, we would do it whenever she was ready, but she needed to discuss it with her mom first.  Out of respect, I wanted to make sure that her mom was ok with it, even though Brittany was now an adult.  Brittany felt the same way....out of respect for her mom, she wanted to tell her first.  But she couldn't seem to do it.   Months went on and she just couldn't find a "good" or "easy" way to break it to her.  She didn't want to hurt her.  I love that kid for that. 

So I never pressed her.  I knew the day would eventually come when she was ready and we would meet.  Well it looks like the time is here, and it's funny how it all came about.  Life is so interesting...

I have been working day and night on promoting the Errand Fairy and trying to recruit people to do my daytime work for me while I'm at my current job.  I got my very first call this Monday, and had to turn down the job because I didn't have any daytime help....that was a terrible feeling.  So I posted a little blurb on FB that I was looking for daytime help in the Roswell/Alpharetta area (where I live and have been advertising), and within 2 days, I have now acquired 10 people that want to be daytime fairies!  The problem is, every single one of them live in Cumming/Dawsonville, which is just about too far north of me to really be effective. 

After I acquired all this help too far north of me, I decided that I should probably go where the help is.  So I'm looking into taking an ad out in the local paper up there.  It's really hard because my budget to pay for advertising in papers is so tight....almost non-existent, really.  I've been relying heavily on handing out business cards, leaving them at businesses, and driving around 24/7 with 2 magnet car signs on my car doors.  I paid $95 for a small ad that came out in a local Roswell paper yesterday, but I think now I need to scrape up some more cash to place an ad in a Cumming paper.

So anyhoo, Brittany contacted me saying she wanted to run some errands a couple days a week.  (Jaw on the floor moment).  She wants to work for me???  And I haven't even met her yet?? Now we're going to have to meet!  Like....this wknd!!  Oh. My. Word.

I talked to her on FB last night and it was decided that we would meet at a bbq restaurant for dinner Monday night at 7pm.  She told me from the very beginning that whenever we did our first meeting, she wanted her boyfriend Tyler and her best friend Brittni to be there with her.  I'm guessing for moral support.  I told her I was fine with that, and asked Dwayne to come with me.  He said yes...thank God.

So here we are.  It's finally time. The crazy part is that as soon as plans were finalized last night, I went into freak out mode, and that kind of disappoints me.  She and I have talked so easily for almost 2 years now, and I'm totally cool with her doing some work for me....excited even....so why am I in such meltdown mode right now?  I went to bed last night and just could not shut off my brian.  I think I may have gotten 2 hours of sleep.  I don't want our first meeting to be some huge, over-dramatized thing like you see on TV.  I want it to be casual and comfortable, and I want to be moderately in control of my emotions.  I'm just afraid that when I see her face and give her that first hug, that I'm going to fall apart all over her.  I don't want it to be like that and make everyone uncomfortable, especially Brittany.  And I'm sure Dwayne would want to crawl in a hole and hide, lol.  He's not good with the emotional stuff....at all.  lol

Everything is so real and so raw and so right on the surface right now.  I remember her birth like it was YESTERDAY.  Every detail.  Every emotion.  Every tear.  Gut-wrenching.  Heart-wrenching.  The hardest thing I will ever do in my life.  When something that you've waited on for 20 years finally comes to fruition, the emotions are overwhelming.

So this is where I am today.  Happy.  Scared.  Crying.  Excited.  Nervous.  Relieved.  Stressed.  All sorts of things going on in my head and in my heart.  So if you're the praying type, I could sure use some today.  Thanks, friends.  :)