I Moved My Blog!

Out with the old...in with the new!  Come visit me!  :)

http://fattofab-forty.blogspot.com/

Life is Crazy

WOW!!!  It's been FOREVER since I posted.  I went part-time at work to have more time to do The Errand Fairy, my personal assistant business, and things have just been nuts!  Let me just say that I have never known stress until I decided to start my own business.  This has got to be the hardest things I have ever done.  However, it almost the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

The hardest part is still having to work part-time at the insurance company, because that means relying on other people to do the fairy work that I can't get to.  I'm one of those that would rather just do everything myself so I can make SURE everything is done correctly.  Delegation is not my strong suit.  But being tied to the other job makes doing it all myself impossible.  I've lost 3 people in the last month that found full-time jobs.  The demographic I'm looking for is really quite terrible, lol.  I'd like them to be middle-aged, and if they have kids...I need them to be grown...oh and I need them to already have another source of income so they're not relying on my sporadic work to pay their bills, but yet, still have full-time availability for when I call them at a moment's notice.  :)  You can see how finding the right help and keeping them can make a person crazy.  :)

I think the last time I posted I was 253.5.  This morning I was 252 lbs.  Nothing happening on the weight loss front, and now that I think about it, I'm actually kind of amazed that I'm not gaining with all the stress.  Huh.  Weird.  Anyhoo.....that's what I've been up to lately.  And I didn't even tell you about my one special client who is a walking migraine.  We'll get to that later.  Have a great week!  :)

Busting Out!

I'm very excited to tell you that I'm going part-time at my current job as of this coming Monday!  I'll be working 1p-5p at the insurance adjusting company and will have the first half of the day to devote to Errand Fairy.  I will now have time to do more hands-on advertising as well as some daytime work!  Finally!!  I have been working hard to get to this point and I'm finally here.  Thank the Lord.  My sweet friend Kim is going to sign up for service...I've got to go look at a job for her this weekend...very excited!!  Things are finally looking up for Errand Fairy and I'm just so thankful.  It's been a lot of work getting here but it's all been so worth it.  I was BORN to be an entrepreneur...there's something so satisfying about being your own boss.  Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and will be back soon with another update! :)

Brittany

I ordered some magnetic car signs for 5 of my little fairies to advertise and see if we can drum up some business for them.  3 of them are college students and 2 are in their early twenties.  All 5 of them are friends and they're a great bunch to work with and I'm enjoying getting to know them.  I met with 2 of the girls at the restaurant that Brittany is a waitress at this past Sunday for lunch to give them all their car signs. 

Brittany waited on us and we got to converse a little bit.  It was so nice.  She's just an awesome kid.  She goes to school full-time and she waitresses full-time, and on the little bit of time off she has, she's hoping to do some Errand Fairy work.  This is only the second time I've seen her in person, but I continue to be amazed at her level of maturity for a 19 year old.  She was raised well and I thank God for leading me to the parents that I chose for her.  He took a really bad situation and turned it into something wonderful.

I'm having a garage sale in 2 weeks and Brittany wants to come and sell some of her stuff to make some extra money.  I'll be so happy to have her there!  I told her that her mom was also invited but I'm not sure if Becky is really ready to be around me yet.  Maybe one day.  I'm not pushing anything....just letting her know that the door is open.  Some of my other fairies are bringing stuff to sell too so it should be an awesome day.  I'm really looking forward to spending the day with my girls. :)

Twenty years ago I was such a young, foolish and absolutely terrified girl.  My first thought when I found out I was pregnant was abortion.  I did not want to own up to my resposibility in any way.  I wanted to end the "situation" as soon as possible and pretend it never happened.  Due to this happening around tax time, I had my refund check to pay for the abortion and I had an appointment made at a woman's clinic.  My mom, my best friend Pam from high school, and my cousin Veronnica are the 3 wise and strong women who talked me out of it.  They are the reason Brittany has the full and thriving life that she has today.  Yes, the decision to adopt was ultimately mine, but it would be wrong to take the credit knowing my state of mind and overwhelming fear back then.  I'm thankful to God for these women who bravely shared their thoughts with me and gently guided me down the right path.  They saved Brittany's life, and for that, I am so thankful.

Someone Done Me Wrong

Sounds like a sad country song, doesn't it?  Well my story isn't quite that dramatic...just a little inconvenient.  A couple of months ago I suspected that someone had sabotaged my blog because I kept having "issues" with it.  Recently, blog readers and friends started emailing me privately saying that they keep trying to leave comments but they couldn't, and some said that it says I've blocked them.

Ahhhhh...I knew it.  I wasn't exactly hacked because I gave 2 people my password in the past to help me do some things on my blog.  One of them sabotaged me.  Yes, I know exactly who it is.  No, I'm not going to name them on here.  That would serve no other purpose than to be vindictive on my part, and I really don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

I haven't blocked anyone and I apologize to anyone who thinks I would have done something like that.  I have a gmail addy listed on my right sidebar, but to tell you the truth, I haven't checked it regularly in a long time because I haven't been blogging regularly.  I'm going to start checking it daily now.  If you can't leave a comment and want to, just shoot me an email instead.

The only solution to the problem is to create a new blog and CHANGE MY PASSWORD.  That will be happening soon, I just don't have time today.  I worked 6 days this week and have to spend today doing all of my errands, laundry and cooking for the work week today.  But I will get around to creating the new blog as soon as I can and when it's finished I'll announce it here so I can start hearing from all of you again. 

Sorry for the inconvenience and hope everyone has a peaceful and relaxing Sunday.  :)

TGIF!!!

It's been a crazy week to say the least.  Had a meeting with the big boss this week.  Things just aren't what they used to be around here and I took all of my concerns to him.  He asked how The Errand Fairy was going.  I told him GREAT!!  He said if I wanted to go part-time he was fine with that since we're so slow around here now.  I told him for now I'd like to stay at 40 hrs/week since I seem to be handling both jobs just fine.  He said that would work.  I actually WOULD like to drop down to around 20 hrs/week just so I don't have to be here as much, but I know that's a little too risky right now, financially speaking.  So I'm still here....at work, a.k.a. Hell...doing the responsible thing.  Blech!  lol

I haven't seen Brittany again since our mtg 2 weeks ago, but I've texted with her and talked on FB with her consistently.  I invited her to haul a bunch of her stuff over to my house on Oct. 1st and have a garage sale with me to make some extra cash.  She said she'd love to.  I told her to bring her mom along, too.  They're both invited. 

Dwayne, Scarlette and I are skipping town next weekend and spending the weekend in the Smoky Mtns.  That will be a nice little getaway.  I could use the break.

Errand Fairy is going well!  It's slow building it up like anything else worth doing, but I'm enjoying it.  I have a couple of fairies that I use to do my daytime work and that's working out really well.  I have an attorney who bought a monthly package of 20 hrs.  She used those up in 2 days and bought 30 more hours, lol.  Woo hoo!  I also had a banker call this week who wants us to set up a surprise birthday party for his wife and have everything ready when they fly back in from Vegas.  This really is a fun job!  Well, most of the time.  Had to clean out the attorney's garage and that wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs....but it paid well.  :)

Haven't been on the scale in 2 solid weeks....realized that this morning and thought, hey...why not!  The last time I weighed I was 254 and had been holding there for several weeks.  I was bracing myself, trying to guess what it would be.  Back up to 260 perhaps???  Stepped on and it said 253.5.  Imagine that.  Not caring diddly squat about my weight and only worrying about my work stress and building up the Errand Fairy and I lose 1/2 a lb. instead of gaining.  Small miracles, I suppose. 

Walking the Half Marathon in November is looking more and more bleak.  I just haven't gotten it together the way I needed to.  I've been trying to do my long walks on Saturdays, and I've gotten some of them in, but I've screwed up a lot, too.  One Sat I forgot to wrap my toes before I headed out, and by the 3rd mile I could feel the blisters forming.  I quit before it got really bad.  Last Saturday I had to clean out the attorney's garage...that was an all day job.  Tomorrow, I'm heading out early to go to my mom's and work at her house 8 hrs, then stay for dinner.  Sundays are when I run all of my personal errands, grocery shopping, get ready for the work week, laundry, etc.  I don't know...it's just not coming together.  The furthest I've walked I think is 7 miles.  That's a far cry from 13 that I need to be building up to.  Kim keeps telling me we still have time but I'm not sure I'm gonna' make it.  I've already paid for the hotel room in Savannah though, so even if I don't make it into the race, I'll still ride down with Kim and spend the weekend with her, either way.

It's time to start my work day so I'm signing off 'til next time.  Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend! :)

Here's My Baby

She has my eyes, but thank God, she doesn't have my figure.

She's gorgeous.  :)

I'm Meeting Brittany Monday

Wow.  It looks like the time is finally here.  And I am a basket case.

For some reason, and I have no idea why, I seem to keep acquiring new readers on this blog, despite my lack of posting, and despite my non-existent weight loss.  I haven't talked about Brittany in quite a while, so for those of you who don't know, she is the daughter that I adopted out when I was a teenager.  I've written a couple of posts about it, so if you want some back story, you can find them in the archives.

I've got tears streaming down my face as I type this, washing away my mascara and eyeliner, because this is so hard to talk about...to deal with.

If you've never adopted out a child, and then had the chance to one day finally meet them in person, then you probably can't understand the magnitude of emotions that are involved.  Let me just say...this is a big deal.

Huge.

I talked to Brittany a couple of times through email when she was 16 because she wanted her mom Becky to find me...and she did.  It wasn't hard...Becky knows a lot of my family members because they used to go to church together many years ago, and we live in the same state.  But after a couple of emails her mom just couldn't handle it, so we ceased contact.  When Brittany was nearly 18, I sent a friend request to her on Facebook to see if she wanted contact with me again.  She did.  We've been chatting all along thru FB msgs for nearly 2 years now.  Brittany will turn 20 in November.  Nothing big or major....just small talk, but always staying in touch.

About a year ago, Brittany asked me if I'd be willing to meet her in person.  Of course I said yes, we would do it whenever she was ready, but she needed to discuss it with her mom first.  Out of respect, I wanted to make sure that her mom was ok with it, even though Brittany was now an adult.  Brittany felt the same way....out of respect for her mom, she wanted to tell her first.  But she couldn't seem to do it.   Months went on and she just couldn't find a "good" or "easy" way to break it to her.  She didn't want to hurt her.  I love that kid for that. 

So I never pressed her.  I knew the day would eventually come when she was ready and we would meet.  Well it looks like the time is here, and it's funny how it all came about.  Life is so interesting...

I have been working day and night on promoting the Errand Fairy and trying to recruit people to do my daytime work for me while I'm at my current job.  I got my very first call this Monday, and had to turn down the job because I didn't have any daytime help....that was a terrible feeling.  So I posted a little blurb on FB that I was looking for daytime help in the Roswell/Alpharetta area (where I live and have been advertising), and within 2 days, I have now acquired 10 people that want to be daytime fairies!  The problem is, every single one of them live in Cumming/Dawsonville, which is just about too far north of me to really be effective. 

After I acquired all this help too far north of me, I decided that I should probably go where the help is.  So I'm looking into taking an ad out in the local paper up there.  It's really hard because my budget to pay for advertising in papers is so tight....almost non-existent, really.  I've been relying heavily on handing out business cards, leaving them at businesses, and driving around 24/7 with 2 magnet car signs on my car doors.  I paid $95 for a small ad that came out in a local Roswell paper yesterday, but I think now I need to scrape up some more cash to place an ad in a Cumming paper.

So anyhoo, Brittany contacted me saying she wanted to run some errands a couple days a week.  (Jaw on the floor moment).  She wants to work for me???  And I haven't even met her yet?? Now we're going to have to meet!  Like....this wknd!!  Oh. My. Word.

I talked to her on FB last night and it was decided that we would meet at a bbq restaurant for dinner Monday night at 7pm.  She told me from the very beginning that whenever we did our first meeting, she wanted her boyfriend Tyler and her best friend Brittni to be there with her.  I'm guessing for moral support.  I told her I was fine with that, and asked Dwayne to come with me.  He said yes...thank God.

So here we are.  It's finally time. The crazy part is that as soon as plans were finalized last night, I went into freak out mode, and that kind of disappoints me.  She and I have talked so easily for almost 2 years now, and I'm totally cool with her doing some work for me....excited even....so why am I in such meltdown mode right now?  I went to bed last night and just could not shut off my brian.  I think I may have gotten 2 hours of sleep.  I don't want our first meeting to be some huge, over-dramatized thing like you see on TV.  I want it to be casual and comfortable, and I want to be moderately in control of my emotions.  I'm just afraid that when I see her face and give her that first hug, that I'm going to fall apart all over her.  I don't want it to be like that and make everyone uncomfortable, especially Brittany.  And I'm sure Dwayne would want to crawl in a hole and hide, lol.  He's not good with the emotional stuff....at all.  lol

Everything is so real and so raw and so right on the surface right now.  I remember her birth like it was YESTERDAY.  Every detail.  Every emotion.  Every tear.  Gut-wrenching.  Heart-wrenching.  The hardest thing I will ever do in my life.  When something that you've waited on for 20 years finally comes to fruition, the emotions are overwhelming.

So this is where I am today.  Happy.  Scared.  Crying.  Excited.  Nervous.  Relieved.  Stressed.  All sorts of things going on in my head and in my heart.  So if you're the praying type, I could sure use some today.  Thanks, friends.  :)

It Finally Happened!

I decided to just start putting my signs on my car when I go to work, and not just on the weekends.  I may get fired for this eventually when I get caught, but let me tell you why I think it's worth the risk.  Yesterday I went to lunch and was sitting at a red light when I heard the lady next to me honking her horn.  I looked over and she was telling me to roll down my window.  O.M.G.  This is it!!  Someone saw my sign and was fixing to ask me about it!!!  I rolled down the window and she asked what was my hourly rate.  I told her $25/hr and she said she's "time challenged" and said something about rental houses that I didn't quite catch.  The light turned green and I told her I'd follow her.  We pulled over and jumped out fast...I could tell she was in a hurry....and she asked for my business card.  I already had one in my hand, gave it to her with a big smile and thank you, and she said she would call me as she ran back to her car.  What a rush!!! 

I was so excited and scared and freaking out....my very first contact with the new business....my hands were shaking for like 2 hours after it happened.  I went back to work and could NOT concentrate on what I was doing.  There's no telling how many wrong reports I sent out yesterday!  I kept praying that it wasn't going to be daytime work...since I have a FULL TIME JOB and didn't want my very first customer to be one I had to turn away!!  I called some friends and asked if they knew ANYONE that lived in my area that might be interested in doing some EF work during the day.  That was a total bust...I don't have anyone right now!

Here's the non-exciting part.  The lady hasn't called......yet.  She still could!!  And even if she doesn't, there will be others!!  I do think I will get bigger car signs though.  Everyone I know that has seen them has told me they're WAY too small....that they can ONLY be seen and read at red lights, but when I'm driving down the road, all you can see is a little pink blur that is my logo.  You can't really read the phone # well enough to jot it down.  So I'm budgeting to buy bigger signs.  I still have a business card-size ad coming out in a local paper on Sept. 1st.  I'm anxious to see if that will generate any phone calls.  As you already know, I set up a FB page for Errand Fairy, and I've been posting a Craig's List ad every day. 

I called and talked to Michelle yesterday evening.  She's the girl in Charleston, SC that I modeled my business after.  She said almost all of her calls for work come from her Craig's List ad, so that's moved to the top of the priority list with the advertising.  Dwayne and I went out to dinner a couple of nights ago and were strolling past some store windows, and I saw a little consignment shop that had a table by the front door with different stacks of business cards on them.  The shop was closed so I couldn't go in and talk to the owner....but I'm planning on dropping by this Sat to leave some cards and introduce myself to the owner.  I'm going to drive around town and try to find other little places I can leave cards.  I did this a few months ago actually, and was surprised at how many people told me NO!

I hit several nail salons, figuring that would be an EXCELLENT place to find some clientele, but not a single salon would let me leave cards.  I went to several pet stores....since I offer pet services such as dog sitting, etc.....and none of them would let me leave cards or a flyer on their bulletin board either.  They said they couldn't recommend any one business....they were only allowed to put Lost/Found dog ads and community pet events on their bulletin boards.  Dropping off cards is not as easy as one might think!!  lol

My friend Cherie suggested leaving cards at Panera Bread and Starbucks.  I'm not sure if they'll let me do that, but I'm going to go in each one in Roswell and look around and see.  I guess each franchise might be different too, depending on what the manager will allow, so we'll see.  It's worth a shot!! 

I've got to meet up with my sweet friend Kim on Saturday morning at 8am to get our long walk in, working towards the Half Marathon in November.  We're scheduled to walk 6 mi this time, and next week it will be 7 mi, and so on.  I got on the scale this morning and it says the same dang thing as last week....254 lbs.  I'm still stress eating and I know it, so I can't say I was shocked.  If anything, I was surprised I didn't GAIN this week.  I've been eating up all the produce I bought at the Farmer's Market last weekend, but I'm still eating crap, too.  I'm just eating too much...period.  Makes me wonder if I'll ever get a grip or if I'll be trying to walk 13 miles while weighing 254 lbs in November!!!!!  Gah!!

Thanks to everyone who supported me by "liking" my Errand Fairy FB page...you guys are awesome, and I really appreciate you helping me get this off the ground.  You know, I really only need to work 20 hrs/week at EF to make the same thing I'm making at the full time job that I hate right now.  Once the ball gets rolling, and word of mouth spreads, hopefully it won't be too long before I can make EF my only source of income.  What a day that will be!!  'Nite friends!! :)

Like Me Please

LOL.....what a ridiculous title!!  No, I don't have a complex....I need your help on Facebook.

I created a Facebook page tonight for Errand Fairy with the help of my childhood friend Cherie.  She is AWESOME...thanks Cherie!!  :)

I'm handicapped when it comes to knowing my way around FB, so Cherie's helping me as another way of advertising my new business.  She said I need to get people to "like" my Errand Fairy page.  I'm guessing you can find it in a search, or link to it from my regular page....Tammy Ortagus in the search box should get you there.  I posted a link last night that should take you from my personal FB page to my Errand Fairy page.  There are 2 other Errand Fairies that I know of on FB...one in California and one in Minnesota I think.  Mine is in Roswell, GA.

Help a girl out!  lol 

I'd sure appreciate it.  :)

Should I Jump?

I feel like talking today...but first things first.  I've got some more food pics:

I went to Publix and picked up some more produce since the only fruit I found at the Farmer's Market were some peaches.  Terrible peaches, by the way.  Hard as a ROCK.

Mushrooms

carrots

red grapes

Fuji apples

honeydew

bannas

nectarines

plums

pluots

No idea what a pluot is but it looked like a plum so I bought it.

I tried a peach first, that I got at the Farmer's Market:

I peeled it and took a few little bites out of it....hard as a rock.  Terrible.  And I have 6 more of these in my fruit bowl now....

Since that didn't work, I tried a pluot:

Eh.  Nothing exciting.  Same texture as a plum, but very little taste.  Not sweet, not sour...just....there.  lol

One of Dwayne's buddies came over last night and brought some shrimp with him to steam. 

Here's Mark

He steamed the shrimp using water, beer, chopped onion, Old Bay seasoning and cajun seasoning. 

Delish!

That was for starters.

I made some mac and cheese for the guys and roasted some corn on the cob in the oven.

Dwayne grilled some boneless skinless chicken thighs and my veggie kabobs with mushrooms, onion, bell pepper and tomatoes.

This was my dinner plate.  I shared with Scarlette of course because Momma always shares with the baby.

I went to the Greenway in Roswell yesterday and actually walked 5 MILES w/o dying!!!  I felt like dying....my butt, legs, feet, ankles, toes (I have blisters now)...all hurt like hell.  But I got it done.  And each week it increases.  Next Sat I'm suppoed to hit the Greenway again...this time with my friend Kim...and we're doing 6 miles.  Lord, help us.

Ok.  Let's get to the serious stuff.  I shared in a post a few days ago that, while thankful that I have a job and know that ANYTHING is better than unemployment.....I am absolutely miserable there.  I held back on the details on why I'm miserable because I think my supervisor Billie still reads my blog sometimes.

Well, I'm over it.  I don't care who's reading.  She and I had several discussions over the course of the day last Friday at work.  We were the only ones there that day, which was quite nice.  She talked to me about her fear that she thinks they're getting ready to fire her.  Well....a better phrase would be "abolish the Ofc Mgr position".  I don't think it's really personal towards her, or anything she did wrong necessarily....but just as a way to cut down costs.  A couple of months ago we moved to a system online, where our parent company in FL can access all of our work.  The way they put it is, if we get into a bad storm season and get overloaded, they can help from FL.  We were working at least 80 hrs/wk at the time, so it all sounded gread.  What they can ALSO do from FL is YOUR JOB.  So that YOU are no longer needed. 

As Ofc Mgr, Billie was responsible for payroll, 401K, deposits, accounts payable, etc.  They took all of it away, little by little.  She now basically has one function left, and that is to assign claims out to our adjusters.  Things aren't looking good for her.  At all. 

So after all this discussion about her possibly getting canned, I felt comfortable enough telling her that I'm trying to get Errand Fairy up and running as fast as I can in case they fire ME, too.  She also knows it's because I'm fed up with that place.

So here's what happened.  A couple of months ago, Randall and I got into a throwdown at the ofc.  He is our QA manager.  I was warned about him from Day One when I started there last June.  Billie and Staci hated him.  Said he would throw you under the bus in a heartbeat.  He BCC's Scott on all of his emails to you if he has a problem with you.  Blind copies the boss every time, so you'll get in trouble.  On the smallest, tiniest thing.  Trying to make something out of nothing and make himself feel superior.  He makes mistake after mistake....throws some kind of excuse at you to smooth it over, and somehow has a SERIOUS God complex.   He thinks he's perfect and all of the ofc staff are morons.  Yet, he makes 3x the mistakes I do.

He's pretty much unbearable, however, I have put up with him for over a year now...which is saying a lot for me.  I've never been one to handle too much bullshit without opening my mouth.  I do not deal well with liars.  I'm not good at sweeping things under the rug or smoothing things over.  I don't like sneaky little deceptive acts like BCC'ing on emails.  I'd rather you come tell me to my face and let's solve it right there.  Not sneak around and see how much trouble you can get me in, and especially when you KNOW your quality of work is so much worse than mine. 

So one day a couple of months ago Randall pulled one of his B.S. moves and something in me snapped.  Hard.  I went to his ofc, confronted him in a not-so-nice tone/way, and he lost it.  He jumped up from his desk, threw his hands in the air, started yelling at me, and drug me into an ofc with Billie so we could all "talk about it".  A face-to-face screaming match ensued.  I don't have a short fuse....as I said, I put up with his daily crap for over a year....but once I'm at my limit, that's it.  I don't have a short temper....but I do have a very nasty one when I've reached the end of my rope.

Turns out Randall has a temper even nastier than mine.  He wanted me gone...fired...for challenging his authority.  I wanted to put my fist right through his face.  The argument ended with both of us red-faced and shaking and him telling me he was calling Scott to have me fired.  I said, "You go right ahead...knock yourself out".

I went back to my desk and texted Scott to tell him what happened.  He was out of the ofc that day.  I told him Randall wanted me gone so I was leaving.  I was scheduled to work 8a-12p that day.  It was the day before we moved to Roswell.  I also told Scott that he could text me over the wknd and let me know if I still had a job or if I was being replaced w/ someone Randall liked better.

We all had a meeting the following week and it was decided that I still had a job.  Scott thinks I do an excellent job, he said the clients love me and said if he didn't want me there, I would have been gone a long time ago.  He said he knew that Randall was hard to work with but his only concern was that we dont' let things get out of hand again in case a client walks in the door.  He said I should have called him and let him deal with Randall instead. 

Ok fine.  So I still have a job.  Randall and I did the polite office thing and "made up" for the sake of being civil and working together in the ofc, although we both know we can't stand each other.  Billie and Staci never challenged him....they just put up with it.  Randall doesn't like to be challenged when he's treating people like shit.  He just wants them to take it. 

That is SO not me.  Never has been...never will be...and he's damn lucky I made it as many months as I did before I told him where he could stick it.

Now.....that's the back story.  Prior to the blowout with Randall...Scott had nothing but praise for me.  Clients would come in the office, or people from our ofc in FL, and when I'd introduce myself they'd say, "Oh YOU'RE Tammy.....Scott has said so much about you.  He really likes you a LOT.  He calls you his right-hand girl.  Says you take care of him....you're just completely awesome.  It's so good to finally meet you!!"  I can't tell you how many times I've heard that.

Since I took over Staci's position....he has had nothing bad to say to me.  No complains from the clients.  No wrong reports going out.  My work was excellent...blah blah.

AFTER the Randall thing....everything changed.  Completely.  And I don't know why.  I don't know what me and Randall having that fight has to do with my work.  He now has Billie checking my work.  He tells her to check my sent email after I leave for the day to see how many reports I got done and sent out.  He had her go back through my work looking for mistakes.  She had to go all the way back to May to find one mistake.  This is August...she finally found one in May. 

O.

M.

G.

I am under the microscope like you wouldn't believe.  Billie told me I'm being monitored online through our new system from FL. now.  That's why she mentioned the Facebook thing a week or two ago.  I used to sign in to FB every morning when I got to work....we all do.  I'd jump over and check it every couple of hours.  Well what used to be fine for everyone is now a big fat No No for me.  Every little thing I do in the ofc now is being scrutinized.  I'm being asked about something DAILY now....where before the Randall thing, I was left to myself.  Every time someone walks up to my desk, my heart jumps up in my throat because I'm scared they found another mistake from a few months ago or something. 

What's weird is I haven't been written up for anything.  I'm just being watched.  I don't think he wants to fire me because he asked me the other day if I felt like I could take on another function.  ???  Either you want me there or you don't....make up your mind.

Anyhoo...all of this has led to very high stress levels.  I've gotten to where I almost can't stand to go in the ofc because I don't know what's going to happen, or what I'm going to be asked about.  I wake up every Sunday now with a feeling of dread because I know I have to go to work the next morning.  My Sundays are pretty much ruined now.  It causes a lot of stomach pain...makes me wonder if I'm developing an ulcer from all of this.  Monday morning I wake up and cry and have to MAKE myself get out of bed and get ready for work.  Usually by lunchtime at 11:00am I'm making a mad dash for my car so I can cry where nobody can see me.

I am absolutely desperate to get The Errand Fairy up and going.  I want out of that job so bad I can't stand it.  I want to work for myself.  I'm a hard worker and KNOW I can make this work....I know I can be very successful at it.  One little problem is I don't have very much money at all for advertising.  I paid $34 for 2 magnetic car signs that I put on my car when I'm out running errands on the weekend.  I do not put them on my car when I go to work though...that feels too risky.  As much as I want out of that hell hole, I can't financially afford to be fired just yet.

I also bought a ballcap and a tote bag with the Errand Fairy logo on it that I use on the weekends.  A few days ago I paid $95 to take a business card size ad out in a free local paper that comes in my mailbox once a month.  They claim to reach 250,000 readers.  The paper with my ad in it will come out Sept. 1st.  It's out for a month, so I figured $25/wk was a doable investment to see if it gets me any calls.  So far, no calls from the magnetic signs, but I'm not getting much exposure by only using them on the weekends.  

While I was at the Farmer's Market yesterday, I handed a few of my cards to one of the vendors that I bought a tote bag from.  I told them about my business and we had a nice little chat.  Most of the vendors there are farmers though, lol...hello!!  Farmer's Market!!  I don't think they'd have much use for an errand fairy.

I talked to my cousin Brian about any advertising ideas he might have, and he said he would create a Facebook page for me...specifically for The Erand Fairy.  I'm not sure how you direct traffic to it though...hopefully he'll help me figure that out after he gets the page up.  He also mentioned Craig's List....which means a new ad would have to be uploaded daily, because the ads roll down as each new person posts something.  I'm not sure how effective Craig's List would be for my service, but I'm willing to try anything.

About the title of this post....Should I Jump?  Well, I know a girl who lives in Charleston, SC who has an errand service.  She's the one I got the idea from to create my own.  She's given me all kinds of tips and stuff on how to work the business once I get it going.  She knows I have a full-time job doing the insurance adjusting thing and have to advertise the Errand Fairy around that.  She pretty much thinks I should take a leap of faith, quit my job, and throw myself into promoting the Errand Fairy.  She literally thinks if I drive around each day with the signs on my car and pass buisness cards out to every person I see in a day, that the business will take off like a rocket.  She said fear is stopping me and I should get rid of that fear and just jump in and do it.  

She's damn right that fear is stopping me.  Quit my job??  The one that currently pays my bills??  I told her I'd have to make $1800 in my very first month to cover all of my bills.  Her response to that is that she made $1600 her first month, and if she can do it...I can do it.  Oh by the way...she has a 2 year old little girl and is a single mom, and said she only works half a day.  So she's covering her bills only working 4 hours a day, and devotes the other half to her daughter.

I know I could throw myself into it whole-heartedly and go into all kinds of stores and talk to people and hand out cards, and spend 4-5 hours burning gas driving around with the car signs and getting all kinds of exposure each day...but where's the guarantee?  Dwayne would absolutely kill me if I quit my job with no assurance of another income to pay my half of the bills.  In fact, when Randall and I had that fight, he was sure I got myself fired and he was really cold towards me.  Little snide comments and off-handed remarks because he thought I let my temper leave him with all of the bills to pay.  As much as he loves the idea of The Errand Fairy and is supportive of me doing that as a living...he would NOT be on board with me quitting my job to give my full attention to it.

So....what do you think?  Should I jump?  Am I letting fear hold me back?  As it stands now, I'm only available to do Errand Fairy work after 5:30p on a weekday and on the weekends.  If people wants stuff done during the day (while THEY are at work)....I'm stuck.  I am completely unavailabe from 7a-5p, which makes it really hard to build up the business well enough to make enough money to quit my job.  I'm feeling rather stuck and very conflicted.  I would really value the opinion of all of you reading.....IF you're still reading.  This is a ridiculously long post!!! 

So tell me....should I continue to do the responsible thing and keep my job....or throw everything I've got into the Errand Fairy?  And while you're at it...any other advertising ideas?

I need your help.  Thanks.  :)

Food and Farmer's Market

I stayed the same weight this week....254 lbs.  So there's that.

I've got a couple of more food pics to show you....some baked cod and some italian chicken sausages...

I got online last night lookiing for a local Farmer's Market here in Roswell.  Lo and behold, I found one!  They have it at City Hall every Sat morn through Sept. from 8a-12p.  I showed up bright and early this morning and made a few selections:

peahces

yellow squaqsh

zuchinni

bell peppers

yellow pepper

vidalia onions

corn

cucumbers

tomatoes

lemon cucumber

I spent $16!

I will go to Publix sometime over the weekend and get some more fruit.  They were pretty skimpy on the fruit this morning.

I gotta' run for now....meeting my cousin Jennifer to do my long walk for the week....5 miles today.  That's gonna' hurt..lol.  There's a place called The Greenway in my area that I just found out about.  There are supposed to be wooded trails and such along the walking path....and it's 13 miles long!!  I have found my new training spot for the Half Marathon...perfect!  I'll post again soon....I hope you all have a produce-filled weekend.  :)

T.G.I.F. Baby!!

So glad the weekend is almost here!  It's a quarter til 6a and I've got to get to work but going to post a couple of food pics real quick from dinner the other night...

Dwayne grilled some N.Y. strips

I cut off half of one and ate it with sliced tomatoes, and scrambled egg beaters w/ sauteed portabella mushrooms and onions.  I cannot even tell you how delish this was.  My attempt right now is to try to eat lower carb due to having to go back on diabetes medicines.  So it's heavier on the protein for a while.

Dessert was a low carb ice cream bar....damn tasty.  :)

That's it for now....time to hit the Atlanta traffic!  Have a great day everyone and I'll post more food pics this weekend.  See ya! :)

Quick Update

This is for you Janell.  :)  I just started taking food pics again at dinner last night but Blogger was down.  It said it would go down at 5pm and be down for about an hour.  Well, at 9:30p last night it was STILL down, so I gave up and went to bed.  I'm at work now so have to keep this short but will post them tonight.  Also, didn't remember to bring my camera with me so it looks like you may only be getting dinner pics for now. It's a start.  Hope everyone has a fabulous Thursday....2 days til the weekend and I can hardly wait!  :)

Oh!  Mandy!  I got your comment on my last post and went to check out your blog.  I love it but can't find a place to comment.  I tried to send an email, but when I hit "submit", nothing happened.  Let me know how I can contact you...thanks! :)

Food Pics Again

I'm thinking about posting some of my food pics again like I used to do.  You know, back when I was actually doing WELL with the accountability and LOSING WEIGHT.  Kelly at Happy Texans does it, she eats low carb, and I really enjoy reading her blog every day.  The pics give me new ideas, or refresh my mind on things/tips that have been forgotten or pushed aside since I jumped off the healthy wagon last December.  I probably won't post all of them simply because, for me, it bores me to death.  But it did serve the purpose of accountability.  Now what did I do with my camera......

Still On Track

Don't have much time to post today....just super busy.  Just typing a quick note to say that I'm down another 2 lbs. this week to 254 lbs.  Makes me smile.  :)  Job is still rough.  I got a free local newspaper in the mailbox yesterday and just finished sending an email to the sales guy inquiring on how much it is to purchase one of their smallest ads in their paper.  It's about the size of a business card.  Doing my best to find more advertising for The Errand Fairy as I can afford it.  I REALLY want to be self-employed.  Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend.  It's ridiculously hot here.....so stay cool everyone! :)

Another Pound Down

Just when I was making a real effort to blog more regularly and get back in the groove, I got busted at work for using the internet at work for non-work related things (blogging, facebook, etc.).  They cut me off....lol.  My supervisor said, "Corporate office is monitoring everything we do now that we've moved to the shared system with them.  You were on Facebook all day Friday."  My response to that was, "I'm on Facebook all day every day."  Note to self....honesty is not always the best policy, lol.  So much for full disclosure.  lol  I'm only laughing because somehow, miraculously, I still have a job.  And I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's the absolute truth....it would almost be a RELIEF if they fired me.  I haven't forgotten the pain of unemployment from just over a year ago before I got this job.....but man.  If you only knew the STRESS LEVEL and BULLSH*T that goes along with working in a VERY small office where EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING about EVERYBODY.  I am just DYING to spill it all here but I just can't.  The truth is that I do still need my paycheck, and my supervisor reads my blog sometimes, along with her daughter who does temp work at the office sometimes.  Hi Billie and Kandice!!!!!  lol  Billie understands the crap that goes on around there very well, and says all the time she wishes she had another job, but is tied to this one due to circumstance (she's the Ofc Mgr).  However, as my boss' right hand person, she's kinda' required to tell him all things office-related, so I can't share any details about my misery.  Which leads me to this....

I've been budgeting a little extra money to do a little more advertising for Errand Fairy now that we're out of the major storm season.  No overtime at work to speak of, so more time to get my head wrapped around how I'm going to promote Errand Fairy and do what I REALLY want to do....be my own boss.  Trust me.  Some people were just meant to work for themselves.

I had to buy new business cards because I changed my phone number.  I also bought a white cap to wear while I'm out and about on the weekends that has my Errand Fairy logo on it...which is on my sidebar!  I wore it out today when I had lunch with Kim....it's adorable.  I bought a small tote bag with my logo on it....have to figure out when I'm going to carry that around...obviously can't take it to work.  And finally I bought 2 magnetic car signs to put on my little Corolla!!  I have to wash my car tomorrow so I can put them on.  The instructions that came with them said to make sure you take the magnets off every 2 to 3 days and wash the car door under them so they don't fall off.  Good to know!

Kim gave me a training schedule last weekend for walking and getting ready for the Half Marathon in November.  It has you walking 3 miles every other weekday with some kind of cross training on the opposite days.  I've been using Dwayne's weight bench/free weights for that.  Then on Saturday you do your "big" walk.  Today was my first big one, and it was 4 miles.  It goes up every Saturday until you're finally walking 13 miles before you even get to the official race day.  God help me.  lol.  You know, I'm only walking this, not running, but Stephen Vinson at "Who Ate My Blog" has started running and I see his FB status every day.  I saw something on there where he said he pretty much runs at one speed...DON'T DIE!  lol  That sums up how I'm feeling about walking this Half.  Even though I've been following the schedule this week, the reality of actually being able to do this in November seems so far away.  I've been praying, Lord just let me finish....I don't care about my time, just let me make it across that finish line even it takes 6 hours and everybody's already gone home, lol.  I am glad I committed to it though.  It has served the one purpose I had for signing up and that is just to get back in the groove of actually caring about what I'm eating, and getting some movement in again. 

The weight is coming off very slow.  I definitely still have a problem with stress eating (AT WORK!!!).  But my weight  is no longer going up, and I'm no longer maintaining.  I lost a lb. week before last, and I lost 1 more lb. this week.  These numbers would increase if I'd get more disciplined and dedicated obviously, but I'm not there yet.  I would say about 3 days a week I end up crying in my car at lunch time all due to work stress and my boss.  I've been eating to stuff those feelings, even though I know every reason in the world not to.  It doesn't solve anything, the stress relief is very temporary, you feel so guilty afterwards, you hate yourself for doing it, you flat out know better, etc.   I know stress will always be in my life in some shape or form.  If I actually get Errand Fairy rolling, that will be a whole new set of stress!!  I like to think of it as positive instead of the negative I'm drowning in right now, but either way, I need to teach myself how to deal in other ways.  I have all the knowledge on what you're SUPPOSED to do...I need to apply it. 

Well I guess that's all for now.  Since I can't blog at work anymore due to the internet Nazi's I will make more of an effort to do it in the evenings when I get home from work, after I get on the treadmill, cook dinner and eat, and bitch to Dwayne about how bad my work life sucks.  :)  Hope everyone is having a restful and relaxing weekend! :)

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

One bite at a time.

How do you lose a daunting amount of weight?

One pound at a time will get you there.

No big plans.  No hosting challenges.  No sprint to a deadline.

Just trying to make better choices each day that comes along.

I lost 1 lb. this week.  I'm at 257.  It makes me smile.  :)

Have a fabulous weekend friends.

Ready For The Weekend

Ohhhh it's almost Friday and I cannot WAIT!  I'm tired.  I'm stressed.  It's been a rough week.  Dinners have gotten all screwed up this week....that irritates me. I have to do better in the face of stress and unexpected things.  Dwayne had a blowout with our landlord Tuesday night, which rolled over into yesterday.  When Dwayne's not happy, I'm not happy.  I got home at 4:30p yesterday, listened to Dwayne vent about how much money we've spent to fix up this rental house and how his "friend" (our landlord) would never pay him back for any of it, yet continuously asks Dwayne to do favors for him.  I heard all about the guys laziness, and how disgusted Dwayne was that the guy and his wife knew for months they were moving, yet left a housefull of crap for us to haul to the dump.  We spent an entire month getting the house cleaned out, painted, etc. before we moved in it.  We've spent even more money since we've moved in to get it decent.  He's harboring a serious grudge, the anger has been building, and I had no idea.  Well I got an earfull last night.  He never wants to deal with his "friend" again.....yet he's our landlord for the next 3 years.  Yeah.  Can we say awkward?  I was upset.  Felt stupid for not knowing Dwayne was so upset and begrudgingly spending the money to fix the place up.  Just bad feelings all the way around.  I went to bed at 5:15p.  I woke up at 7:30p starving with no plan for dinner.  I had thawed out some lean ground beef for Dwayne to make burgers on the grill, but it was raining, and both of us had forgotten to pick up buns at the store anyway.  So I went into the kitchen and found that Dwayne had whipped up some Hamburger Helper.  No idea how long we'd had that box.  Probably one of the most unhealthy things you can eat.  But of course I ate it.  First of all, I never complain when Dwayne takes the initiative to cook.  Number two - I was in a crappy mood and didn't care about what I was eating.  Blah.  Whatever.  I have to work OT tonight, so Dwayne's on his own with dinner and so am I.  As of right now, I have no idea what I'm having.  I didn't thaw anything, just rushed out the door at 5:30am this morning knowing I had a 13-14 hour day ahead of me.  I'm buried in work right now, but needed to take a couple of minutes to post.  I'm trying to get back in the habit of posting more regularly.  It helps to keep me focused, even when some of the days are bad.  Hope everyone else is having a great week.  Things should improve on my end by the weekend.  Things are always less stressful on the weekend.  Let's talk later.  :)

Monday Already???

Wow my weekends fly by soooo fast.  In my personal opinon, 10 days vacation at work is not enough to spread out over a whole year.  Sucks that you can't just take a day off whenever you want to stay at home and work in your flower bed or cook up a bunch of healthy food for the week.  I always have grand plans on the weekend and I always overschedule.  I can't ever fit it all in.  Blah. 

I've been wanting to stain our deck for weeks now, and every Sat and Sun morning the deck is soaked from where it's rained the night before.  Good ol' summertime in the South....rains every day.  It's usually only for 5 mins...just a passing shower, and just long enough to get everything soaking wet.  Grrrrr.

Well last night about 6pm I decided it was a good time to start on the deck.  I moved the table and chairs to one end and just started staining.  I got about 75% of it done.  My PLAN is to finish rolling the boards next weekend, and hopefully Dwayne can start on spraying the rails and spindels. 

I also managed to get all the weeds pulled out of my flower bed this wknd, but wasn't able to plant the new flowers I bought and put some weed killer down on the weeds and get it mulched.  I really just wanted to take the day off today and FINISH that stupid flower bed, but alas, I'm way too responsible to do something like that.  Due to our Myrtle Beach trip this past spring, and our move to the new house at the end of June, I now only have 2 days off left for the rest of the year!  Boo!  lol

Ok I'll quit my bitching, lol.  I really am doing pretty good...except I hate my job, lol.  Is it possible to hate your job and still be extremely thankful that you have one?  Why, yes it is possible!  I feel that way every day!  :)  What I really want to do is get Errand Fairy off the ground.  Now that I have a better-looking car (my 19 year old Honda Accord died a week ago), I'm able to buy a magnetic sign or two and put on my car to help advertise.  There's also a temp girl that works here and there for us when we get too busy, and she's available to do some daytime errands while I'm at work, so I won't have to turn down all calls for errands done during the day.  Yay!  Very excited about that!  Tina is going to update my website today with my new phone #, and I have to order business cards again with my new address and phone #, but things are starting to move along where the Errand Fairy is concerned.  Thank the Lord!  I really, REALLY want to work for myself.  There's a word for people like me who don't deal super well with authority and think that the way everyone else does it in the office is stupid.....and that word is "entrepreneur".  LOL

Oh!!  Dwayne and I both got on the treadmill this weekend.  I have one word for that experience.  Ow.  It says it's on 0 incline, but it feels like there IS an incline even when it says 0, so it feels like you're constantly walking up a slight hill, which I suppose is good for the quads and hamstrings, but boy do they hurt right now!  It's all good, I'll get used to it soon enough....just have to get on that thing every day, consistently, and build up.  November isn't too far away! 

Dwayne and I went grocery shopping together and spent $187!!!!  That's a ridiculous amount for 2 people, I know, but I bought every healthy thing I could think of.  We're grilling out almost every night now, I've got tons of veggies, and lots of fruit, etc.  Trying to eat better takes real effort on my part, and I'm working on it.

Well that's it for the weekend update....hope all of you had a good one.  Now it's time to muddle through this Monday so we can say, "Only 4 days left til the weekend!!!"  :)