Stalled Out

I took a peek at the scale today, as I always do mid-week, and it says the same dang thing it said last Fri, 231.0.  Of course, I know exactly why.  I've been eating too many calories this week.  I haven't had any binges...I've just noticed weirdo cravings that aren't my norm, like wanting something salty...so I had a few chips and some cashews.  Then wanting something sweet, so I ate a big chocolate chip cookie....the whole time wondering what's up with that?  I NEVER eat chips or nuts.....they're just not my thing.  And I've never had a big sweet tooth.  Usually, if I have a chocolate craving, one little piece of chocolate takes care of it and I'm fine.  The one exception to the sweet rule is brownies.  They're my kryptonite, so I don't keep them in my house.  You might remember that I encountered a pan of homemade brownies at my sister's house last week and ate 2 of them on the spot. 

So anyway, I've been snacking and picking at things like this all week, confused and irritated, and then they hit me.  Cramps.  Ahhhhh....finally!!!  Now I know what's up....Mother Nature is preparing for a visit.  But here's the REALLY stupid thing.  I do this every month.  Every single month.....and I FORGET every single month, until I get hit with a wave of cramps.  Unfortunately, thanks to my PCOS, cramps are a lot more like pregnancy contractions...more fun than the law allows....but that's just one of my curses in life.  But that's always what it takes to remind me of why one of my weeks is always a "snacking on weird stuff" week.

As soon as the "fun" is over and M.N. has gone on to torture some other poor girl, I forget all about it.  I have a fabulous weight loss one week (if I'm doing things right and on track, that is), get all excited, tell myself, "Hey!!  I'm gonna' lose 20 lbs this month!!  I'm feelin' great....YEAH BABY!!!  But that's just not the case.  I have a couple of decent weeks, and a couple of not-so-hot weeks.  Such is life.  The important thing is to keep the positive mindset to continue downward on the scale.  And my mind is still in a good place.  Well, mostly.  I'll tell you one thing.  I'm sick to dang death of this weather.  I'm so over it.  I hate it with a passion, really, and I crave sunshine more than any brownie I've EVER craved.  I want warmth, and sunny days, and outside hikes, and new green leaves on the trees, and pretty, colorful flowers popping out of the ground.

I'm still unemployed from my last job layoff.  I really cannot believe it's been this long.  Feb. 20th will make one solid year with no work.  Unbelievable.  Baffling.  Mind-blowing.  But I'm still applying for jobs every single week, and ONE of these days, someone's gonna' HAVE to call me for an interview and let me charm my way into another job.  :)  Until then, I'm trying to stay positive, keep an upbeat attitude, focus on the weight loss, and not let the other factors in my life pull me down.....especially the things I can't control, like the weather and the unemployment.  Oh, and Mother Nature.  How do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways....ah, forget it....I don't have enough fingers and toes. ;)

So anyhoo, this is where I'm at this week.  I'm waiting to hear back from the publisher to see if he's willing to mail any copies out of the country.  When I find out tomorrow, I'll let you know who the winners are....I might have to re-draw the names!

I'm leaving you with a couple of pics of some chicken soft tacos I've made over the last couple of days.  One is my version of Mexican when I want something a little spicy.  I sauteed some chicken breast that I cut into strips and then added a can of Rotel tomatoes and green chiles to it and let it simmer until all the liquid cooked out of it.  Added some reduced-fat sour cream (1 Tbsp...20 cals), and some shredded lettuce.  The other version is to satisfy my Greek cravings.  I sautee chicken breast with fresh spinach and chopped up artichoke hearts, then sprinke with a little Romano cheese and 1 Tbsp of reduced-fat sour cream.  Both of them were eaten on wraps that are only 50 calories!!  Enjoy!!

Quote For the Day:

"Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting."  -Christopher Morley

My NSV's Thus Far

Mother Nature has stopped in for a week-long visit. So....in trying to ignore the humongous bloated body I am living in, and the cramps that feel more like contractions, thanks to my PCOS, I decided to reflect on the non-scale victories I have achieved so far. I could think of only a couple and then my mind went blank. I had to email Pam and get her to remind me of my progress, lol. Such a great friend....always there when I need her. :)

I wear a diamond ring on my middle finger on my right hand that Dwayne gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago. It is getting too big and will need to be re-sized soon.

I have been able to fit into all the restaurant booths now. I haven't been to many restaurants since I started losing the weight nearly 4 months ago, but haven't had a problem so far.

I no longer fear eating in restaurants. This one is HUGE. I still choose not to do it a lot, just because I don't like fighting sodium gains, but at the same time, I've learned that drinking absurd amounts of water over 2-3 days takes the water gain away. With that said, I NEVER eat in a restaurant on Thursday night, since my weigh-in is on Friday morning.

All of the clothes that were in my closet when I started these travels are now all too big. I cleaned out 3/4 of my closet and mailed a 25 lb box of clothes to Pam, who I am so happy to report, is also too small for at least half of them. Now that's awesome. :) I have about 5 shirts that are a 22/24 that fit fine right now, and I've saved some of my old, bigger shirts to wear when I walk at the park. I have some size 26 shorts that I'm still wearing....they're ultra baggy but thanks to my more than ample hips, they haven't fallen off yet.

I took myself off of all of my meds when I started this in June. I wanted to drop about 30-35 lbs and have my body be free of all the medicine so that I could get an accurate reading on my blood tests to see what losing weight and moving more was doing for my health. I still take thyroid meds because that's a life and death thing, but I removed myself from the diabetes pills, the cholesterol pills and the high blood pressure pills. My blood pressure was actually down to normal on my last 4 doctor's visits before I started this in June, so I felt comfy stopping that one. I've also checked my blood sugar, and the last reading I got was a 93. As long as it's under 120, I'm okay. I am planning on making a dr's appt very soon, probably this week, to have my labs done again. I'm very curious to see where the numbers stand.

Housework has become WAY easier than before. I still have aching joints...especially my left hip for some reason. But my knees are worlds better, and my lower back isn't quite as bad as it was. It's still locked up for about an hour or two after I wake up in the morning, which makes my morning walks especially unpleasant, but I feel like dropping further down the scale will remedy most of this.

When I first started exercising, I could only walk 15 minutes and thought I was dying. I don't think it was even a full mile. I've slowly worked my way up to 4 miles in a row now, and some days I go back to the park in the evening and walk 2 more miles. It's a good feeling to know I've progressed from less than a mile, up to 6 miles in less than 4 months. I'm especially proud of this NSV. It's hard to get started when you're as big as I was when I started...but I'm glad I did. It's really starting to pay off.

I've really, really developed a taste and a love for healthier foods. This is probably one of the most shocking NSV's for me. I wrote in an early post that I was moving from full-fat mayo to Kraft Light Mayo, and it tasted "blech". lol
Well I stuck with it, and just found out this past week that I actually PREFER it now over regular mayo. I was at Publix doing some grocery shopping at lunch time. I got a turkey sub on wheat, no cheese, for lunch. Publix deli doesn't offer lite mayo, so I told them to spread it light on one side of the bread only, mustard on the other side. I was eating the sandwich in the car on the way home, and something just didn't taste right. I finally figured out it was the mayo! I found myself thinking it tasted pretty gross, and was wishing I had Kraft lite mayo on it. What a shock that was!

I hesitate to say this next one, but I think I may be over the fast food. While in the throes of PMS this past weekend, I wasn't feeling like counting calories, I was out on the road running errands, and was going to say "To Hell with it" that day and swing by a fast food restaurant for lunch. I was surrounded by them. Krystal's, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Captain D's, Mrs. Winner's, KFC.....and I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted from any of them. This is coming from the former Fast Food Queen. I had a real struggle staying away from these places when I first started. A real struggle. But the other day, the thoughts of all the salt, the fat, the processed crap just turned my stomach. I ended up going home and making a ham sandwich on sourdough with lettuce, tomato, onion, lite mayo & lite Italian dressing. Delish. :)

In the last month, while lying in bed at night, I have discovered my ribs, my sternum, and my hip bones. :)

I rarely drink Coke anymore. This is another HUGE one. I wrote in an early post that I didn't think I'd ever, ever be able to kick the habit completely. I still drink some once in a while, but the habit of having to have it is gone. Completely gone. It started out simple...I wanted to spend my calories on food and not drinks. Pretty soon, I just got used to drinking almost all water. Now when I drink Coke, it's 1/2 of one of those little 8 oz, 100 calorie cans....so 4 oz. and 50 calories. I'm very proud of that, especially in relation to my diabetes.

I love beer. But the most I've ever drank it is maybe once a month when Dwayne and I would go out to a local bar & grille and kick back for a couple of hours. I'd drink 4 or 5 Killian's, get a nice buzz going, and enjoy my evening out. Not anymore. Beer weighs down your exercise, it's loaded with calories, and it dehydrates you. Since I started losing weight in June, I've had 1/2 of a beer 2 different times. Although once a month isn't a real big priority in the first place, it has moved even further down the list of priorities.

This last one is kind of bittersweet. I have a beautiful collection of girlie, lacy, silky bra and panty sets. Every color and design you can imagine, except for white. White is too boring for me. I am very budget-minded and money-conscious, but my lingerie drawer has been my one, personal splurge. Lovely lingerie makes me feel pretty. Almost ALL of them are too big now. I've adjusted all the straps on the bras to the shortest length and they're all falling off my shoulders. It irritates the crap out of me. The problem is, I don't have the money to replace them right now and it's driving me nuts!!

There's probably more NSV's, but this is all I can think of right now. My calories are under 1500 today and I walked another 6 miles at the park today!! I did 4 this morning, and another 2 this evening. This probably isn't something I can sustain all the time....4 is more like it....but with Mother Nature visiting, I'm trying to level the playing field with that wench. :)

Quote For the Day:

"Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives." -Viktor Frankl

Sodium.....So Stoopid

Today has pretty much sucked all the way around, lol. Some days are just going to be that way, and this is one of them. I had an argument with a girlfriend today....the one that just happened to be throwing me a pool party for my birthday this Sunday with all of our other friends, so needless to say, no more party. Bummer. My friend is still upset with me. Bigger bummer. I made dinner in the crockpot today and I didn't like it. Another bummer. And Mother Nature paid me a visit this week. Biggest bummer of all.

First of all, I hate drama with friends. I find it completely draining and a total waste of energy, but life isn't perfect, and sometimes these things happen. Secondly, I've always been a huge fan of birthdays. It's the one special day a year that all of your friends a family gather 'round to celebrate you and the importance of you being in their life, and them in yours. I love birthdays. So the fact that mine might end up being a downer this year is really discouraging to me.

Mother Nature and I have NEVER been friends. I'm working my big butt off as hard as I can, focusing..focusing..focusing, staying within my calorie limit, walking on the treadmill daily as fast as I can go...pushing myself to my limits...and then she shows up, plops down right in the middle of all my progress, and asks, "How does a 3 lb. gain sound this week?" Grrrrrr.

Here's the stoopid sodium part. As if it weren't bad enough that I'm battling bloating this week and working my butt off just to try my best to maintain and not gain this week....I end up with a dinner I just didn't like, feeling totally unsatisfied, totally drained from the day's drama and cranky from the cramps...and took myself right down to Los Reyes for some chicken soft tacos.

I had 800 calories left for the day, so I didn't go over my limit. I did my walk on the treadmill this morning, so I'm cool there. But I just didn't need the sodium. I was already in a tangle with Mother Nature, and I had to go and add insult to injury. Doh! How stoopid. Really, really stoopid.

Now I know from reading so many weight loss blogs that there are people out there who eat in restaurants/fast food every single week, and still show a substantial loss on weigh day. They're staying in their calorie limit, but somehow they're winning out over the sodium. I don't know if they're just lucky, if my system is whacked, if they're drowning themselves in vats of water to get rid of it, overdosing on water pills, or what. But I know from experience that sodium is the enemy for me and my body and that makes today's choice a really bad one. So, whatever ensuing gain I show on the scale this Friday, aside from my cycle, is completely well-deserved.