The Two-Bite Rule

I have noticed that a lot of my dear blogging friends have some of the same food issues that I do. My two major ones, and the ones that have been the hardest to overcome, are fast food and mega buffets. I've pretty much got the fast food thing beat (I think). Since I started my blog in June, I have been to 3 different fast food chains.......once to Taco Bell, two or three times to Krystal's, and several times to Subway. I have counted my calories each time, and stayed within my limits eating at these places. Yes, the sodium is still an issue....but I have SERIOUSLY curbed the frequency that I eat at these places. SERIOUSLY.

Mega buffets are a whole other beast. Under this category, we can include any and all functions/parties/reunions/pot lucks, etc. where there is a large, delectable spread of calorie laden, absolutely deliciously tempting foods. As you know from last Friday's post, they freak me the hell out. I'm sure the reason must be obvious to all of you reading. It's really very simple. I have a very long, very bad history with these things, and I still don't trust myself.

I am TRYING to remember that I've changed my habits, am eating TONS more healthier foods now, whole foods, and WAY less processed foods. But as soon as I'm presented with these situations (i.e., breakfast at Golden Corral with Dwayne last Saturday), my brain just locks up. I immediately revert back to what I've ALWAYS done in my mind, and what I've always done is downright shameful. If a large roast beef sandwich, large curly fries and a 22 oz Coke at Arby's is 1330 calories....then I've probably put away 2500 calories IN ONE SITTING at a buffet. And I don't mean on a super starving, haven't eaten all day, kind of day......I mean on any given day. I can't believe I'm actually writing this down....how embarassing. But hey...the truth hurts.

Thanks to Jack's post last Friday, I did pretty good. I might not have eaten only 500 calories like Sean suggested, but it darn sure wasn't 2500. I had one plate, there was no piling, and half of the plate was fruit...watermelon, peaches, strawberries and cantaloupe. I'm getting better.

I also had a family reunion to go to a couple of weeks ago, and that's where I employed the Two-Bite rule. There were so many things I wanted to try, but knew I was only going to eat one plate, so instead of getting a whole spoon of everything I wanted, I only got a little...two bites worth. I learned this technique from a lady who was in one of my previous Weight Watchers classes.

She was new to the class, and within a couple of weeks of joining, was faced with a mega buffet that she couldn't avoid. She told us that she decided the best two bites of anything we eat are the first and the last....so why bother with all the extra calories in the middle? Total epiphany for me. The heavens opened up and I'm certain I heard angels singing. This way, you still get to have what others around you are having. You don't have to smell the scrumptiousness and not get to sample it. You don't have to feel deprived. Just grab a couple of bites and make them the best-tasting two bites of anything you've ever had.

It worked for me at the family reunion, and I'm sure it will work for you too. As far as places like Golden Corral for me....I'm still working on it...I'm still working on me. I don't think I'm going to panic the next time I get lassoed into going. As Jack said, a buffet doesn't have to be a death sentence. I'm glad he said that to me, because that's exactly how I was looking at it. I was headed to the gallows. All was lost. I'm so glad I was wrong. I have to say that these mental changes are the hardest part. But practice makes perfect....actually, a teacher once told me that perfect practice makes perfect. I like that better.

I'll keep working on me, and you keep working on you, and we'll get there together. The changes are happening, maybe slowly for people like me, but they ARE happening. Freedom is coming. I can see it in the distance, and every day that we choose to make the better choices, is a day closer to what we're fighting for. If you can't see it yet, look through my eyes. It's there...looming in the distance, just waiting for us to catch up. The victory is for the taking...and each of us WILL claim it. Onward, my friends.....onward. :)

What's It Like?

I have done great this week with the calorie counting, staying under my limit, drinking tons of water, and getting on the treadmill every single day. But here's the cold, hard truth about it. It's been dang hard this week. It has been a total and complete struggle. I have wanted to eat as much as my big, fat body would possibly hold EVERY day this week. Why? I have no idea. No clue.

I feel like the mental changes are happening slowly. I've definitely made the decision to get the weight off once and for all. I've resisted all temptation and MADE myself do right this week. But it has been a downright, hour-to-hour struggle every single day....some days resulting in really high anxiety levels and stress headaches....all because of wanting to overeat. Insanity.

The reason I haven't overeaten, indulged a little over my limits, or binged is not because I'm awesome. I'm nowhere near awesome, lol. If I were, this would be a breeze. I think the reason I've stayed on track is for one simple, basic reason. I'm desperate. I am truly desperate to stop living as an obese person. Isn't 25 years long enough? I think so. I'm so desperate to know what it's like to live like and be treated like a "normal weight" person. I have dreams that it's incredibly fantastic. What is it like to NOT stand out in a crowd? What is it like to NOT break chairs? What is it like to NOT have to shop for clothes in "fat girl" stores?

What's it like to be considered for a promotion at work based on what you can do and not how much you weigh? What's it like to walk up to someone and know that they're looking in your eyes as you approach and not your jiggling stomach? What's it like to be judged by your thoughtfulness, your intellect, your sense of humor...instead of how many fat rolls you have? I really don't know, but boy do I want to. I want it so bad.

It's still a long ways away. I've still got about 70 lbs to go, and when I look at the whole total still waiting to be lost, it gets pretty daunting. Especially this week. What a struggle it has been! I have to really work at pulling my mind back to where it needs to be on weeks like this. The mental part is WAY harder than the physical part consuming the right number of calories and daily exercise. You all know that.

Someone left me a comment on the "Weight Loss Surgery" post that really struck me. She was talking about a tremendously obese man who had been asked why he wouldn't have the surgery. He said something to the affect that the body's not where the problem is....the problem is with the brain...and there's no lap band for the brain. Amen brother!! He is so, so right. The "trick" to making this a lifetime thing is getting the brain/mind right. That's where the hidden truths lie. I'm glad I'm learning that.

I've read several posts on other people's blog today who are having the same tough week I am. They're really struggling and I'm right there with them. I want to say to all of you that while some days we're reduced to fighting this battle one hour at a time, it is a battle worth fighting. And if we keep fighting, then one day we WILL win. I can't wait til each and every one of us can stand in front of our mirrors on the day we reach our goal weights. We get to say that WE did this....we fought, we bled, we cried, we scraped and clawed....and we WON. Each of us will claim our victory and, praise God, what a day that will be!!

We'll get there....we'll keep trudging through the trenches, pushing through, making the choices that we KNOW will get us to that day of complete freedom from all the misery that this excess weight has brought us. Is everyone geared up and ready for the next leg of this march towards victory? ONWARD!!

Quote For The Day:

"Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit." -Napoleon Hill

I Made It

Well I made it to weigh day without screwing it up. I weigh 251.0 this morning for a 3 lb. loss. Although this isn't the highest amount of lbs. I've lost in a week, it is by far the biggest victory, due to the rough week I've had while trying to stay on track. Dwayne just called and said he's taking the day off and he's coming to pick up me and Scarlette to take us hiking. I'm glad. I need to get out and get some fresh air and a fresh perspective on things. I made the decision to delete any further emails I get from the girls w/o even reading them. This craziness has to stop sometime. I want my life back. I want to sleep again. I want to think positive, happy thoughts. But above all, I want my full focus and attention back on this weight loss thing. It's just too important. :)