Editor's note: I gave you some misinformation in last night's post. Sean emailed me today and straightened me out. I read so much of his blog yesterday, starting from the beginning, that I got some things mixed up. He did not allow himself an extra 1,000 calories for a cookout. Not even for his birthday. He only allowed himself the extra calories on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Nothing else. After doing the math yesterday, I think I'm still going to leave this as an option for me because I don't think it will be harmful. Sean also pointed out that everyone's lifestyle is different and I have to do what works for me. As I've explained before, I have a lot of family and a lot of friends, and all along we've got something going on. I don't want to change that for the sake of a few extra calories spread out over a week's time. So I'm going to try it out and see how I feel about it. If I need to do some more adjusting later, then of course I will. I'm learning as I go. :)
This is going to be a shorter post than normal because I am just flat wore out. The day started at 7:30am...had breakfast, hit the treadmill, loaded my car with stuff for the move, took it to the new house and unloaded, drove Mom's truck back and loaded it, hauled it back to the new house and unloaded it. Got back home and ate some soup I made in the crockpot w/ chicken breasts, lots of veggies and brown rice. Only 86 calories a cup! Got a shower, cleaned the kitchen, and now I am soooo ready for bed. Too tired to list my nutrition stats and food intake, but I landed at 1500 calories and it was a struggle to hit those. I had to make myself eat enough to reach that amount. I assure you, that's the first time I've ever uttered those words in my entire fat life.
I noticed a couple of weird things today. When I headed out to the new house, I had planned on stopping by the Publix for a turkey sub from their deli, so when I was headed in the general direction, I wondered why I felt bothered about stopping by there before I went to unload some stuff. It was because I wasn't hungry. I didn't feel like eating so I told myself I'd just grab it later after I unloaded the stuff in the car and ran a couple of errands.
Wait....whoa...hold up! Stop the music! Did Tammy just pass up a chance to eat? Did I just catch myself preferring to do hot, sweaty, hard labor and running errands before I filled up my tummy with yummy (but healthy) food?........
Who are you and what have you done with Fat Tammy?!?!
Hold up there, pard'ner. There's not roooom enough in this body for the BOTH of us. My name's Skinny Tammy and I'm the new sheriff in town. Now step aside.....I'm takin' over.
Groovy. :)
The other weirdo thing I noticed today was daydreaming about what dinner was going to taste like. I had chopped up all those veggies on Friday night and I had lots of stuff to choose from. I decided on onions, mushrooms, baby asparagus, yellow squash, zucchini, carrots and red cabbage. Mmmmmm. My mouth started salivating. I was craving those fresh veggies and couldn't wait to get my work done today so I could get home and enjoy them.
WHAT?!?! Craving veggies??? Who craves veggies? Certainly not ME! Cravings are reserved for hot, greasy curly fries, sackfuls of Krystals, fudgy walnut brownies.....not VEGETABLES!!!
:)
I noticed today that little by little, I'm morphing into a new person. One with a new outlook on food, fresh ideas on healthy recipes, and with my eyes on a goal of having this weight gone for good by next April that nothing or nobody will be able to deter me from. I'm changing right before my very own eyes. I'm turning from a big, fat caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. I'm morphing from something round and squishy into something exquisite. Beauty that will no doubt be seen from the inside as well as the outside. I hope you'll continue to watch me through this metamorphisis as I prepare for the month of April. Watch me break out of my cocoon, spread my wings, and FLY!!!
Quote For The Day:
"Success in life is a matter not so much of talent or opportunity as of concentration and perserverance." -C. W. Wendte
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Lazy Days of Summer
Today has been incredibly lazy. I did absolutely nothing productive today except my 20 minute walk on the treadmill. Nothing else. Not even a load of laundry, lol. Well, I did load the dishwasher but that doesn't really count since it has to be done every day.....kind of like breathing. I had originally planned to get up and go to Mom's, borrow the truck, come back, load up, haul it back and unload it into the new house. Didn't happen. I just did NOT want to go out in that heat today. I kept trying to make myself, but to no avail.
So....that left plenty of time to catch up on some people's blogs....go back to where they started and see the difference in where they are now. I enjoyed navigating through their trials and tribulations, finding out what worked for them, and gathering some good advice for my own travels.
I also went back and read the first several posts on my own blog. Wow! What a difference one month makes! Things are still hard...a lot of the days are still a struggle...but not every single day....not every single hour like when I first started. I no longer think of bolting out to a fast food restaurant every 2 hours, like I did on the first day of my post. Yes, they're still a temptation...one of my biggest issues, actually....but things are getting easier. I also noticed that although I ended up at Subway in a couple of bad situations....in the entire month I have not had one single binge. I haven't had a double bacon cheeseburger. I haven't had one single french fry. I haven't had one single chocolate milkshake. I haven't had any fast food past a couple of times at Subway, and one time at Taco Bell. And even those weren't horrendous. Are you believing this??? Yeah, me neither. Simply amazing. I haven't had another single 3-4,000 day since I started. Now that's progress, folks. That's what it looks like when you finally get your mind in the right place...when you finally say "NO MORE"....when you finally start caring about your health and your future and everything you want to do in life. THANK GOD!!
I was reading along through my posts and finally got to the one labeled "Free Day". As we all know, I eliminated this Thursday night as part of my new plan to do better. After reading the post, I remembered why I started it in the first place....all of those parties/celebrations/cookouts/birthdays/holidays/family reunions where you're undoubtedly going to be surrounded by bad food....food that you didn't prepare and you have little to no idea how many calories are in it. Special days that you cannot avoid or "get out of".
As a matter of fact, before I eliminated Free Day, I agreed to meet up with all of my girlfriends and Dwayne for "Friends Night Out"next Saturday night, July 18th. This is where we meet at either Los Reyes or Bailey's Pub and Grille and catch up on everyone's busy lives. Because of everyone's hectic schedules, we haven't had a friend's night out on the town in about 6 months. We are due. I suggested Los Reyes, thinking it would be a little easier to figure out the calories there than it would at Bailey's...a restaurant filled with greasy bar food. Even though it was going to be on Free Day, I still didn't like the thoughts of going completely crazy. I gained 4.4 lbs. last weekend from not caring. I paid for it on the scale this week.
The weekend after that is my birthday. I already knew that Dwayne was going to set something up with our friends for my birthday and it always includes a restaurant with good food and good beer. This year, I told him I want to skip the restaurant. It just wouldn't jive with my lifestyle changes, and could we set something up somewhere to grill out. That way I would have a little more control over making sure there were some healthy options there for me (i.e., grilled chicken, fresh fruit, etc.) Today I realized I've got 2 events coming up 2 weeks in a row and I got rid of Free Day. Hmmmm......now what?
Thanks to being able to take the time to catch up on all of those blogs today, I finally found the solution. After all, EVERYONE has days like this that they can't get out of. Somebody had to have figured it out by now. I found the answer on my new buddy Sean's blog: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog from the beginning, and found out that the first cookout he was faced with, he decided to allow himself an extra 1,000 calories that day. He has a 1500 calorie a day limit so that gave him 2500. At first, I was appalled at that amount. How am I ever going to lose weight eating 2500 calories a day, Sean?!?!
I had to really sit and think this through to see if I thought it would work for me. When Sean first started, he weighed 505 lbs. I was thinking he could probably stand to eat a lot more calories than me and still lose gobs of weight. I wasn't sure I could afford it. I surely didn't want to implement something into my plan that was going to cause me to go backwards. So....I went back to before I started losing the weight. I have already established that I was eating around 4,000 calories a day. And that was a normal, ordinary day. On a day that I would splurge, (birthdays, cookouts, and let's not even talk about the family reunion back in May), that was easily 5,000 calories...possibly more.
So, fast forward to now and my 1550 limit per day. Giving myself an extra 1,000 calories and allowing it to climb to 2500 is still WAY less than what I was eating just a month ago. Providing I don't have more than one 2500 calorie, event-filled day in one week, I started thinking this might be okay. Then I broke it down a little further. I was challenged to keep my calories strictly between 1350-1550 a day for this entire week. I've been eating at the 1550 mark for the last 2 days. If I dropped it to 1350, there's an extra 200 calories a day there that was already "ok" to eat....so technically, that extra 1,000 calories can break down to the extra 200 a day over 5 days. Suddenly, the idea of allowing myself the extra calories seemed very doable. And I like the fact that you're making yourself count the calories. If I didn't, and just left it as Free Day, I'm betting an extra 2,000 calories could slip by me without even noticing. Thanks Sean!! (Of course, if I show a gain the next weigh day after I do this...I'm hunting you down, lol).
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1530
Carbs 120
Fat 51
Protein 160
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole
2 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
2 homemade chicken soft tacos on wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce
Jambalaya Confetti Casserole ( I made up this recipe tonight and it was AMAZING!...although I did steal the word "Confetti" from Pam's Confetti Chicken recipe :))
2 oz. Boar's Head 42% lower sodium ham
7 crackers w/ 2 tbsp. of roasted red pepper hummus
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate (I'm really diggin' this stuff)
1 protein water
64 oz. regular water....NO TEA...NO COKE!!
I plan on working my butt off tomorrow moving some boxes. I haven't moved any in 3 days...time to get busy!! Due to this and knowing how worn out I'll be when I get done, I'm going to do the treadmill in the morning before I leave, and I'm also taking Pam's advice and throwing some chicken and veggies in the crockpot before I head out so I don't have to cook when I get home. See there....I do pay attention. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving." -Dennis Waitley
So....that left plenty of time to catch up on some people's blogs....go back to where they started and see the difference in where they are now. I enjoyed navigating through their trials and tribulations, finding out what worked for them, and gathering some good advice for my own travels.
I also went back and read the first several posts on my own blog. Wow! What a difference one month makes! Things are still hard...a lot of the days are still a struggle...but not every single day....not every single hour like when I first started. I no longer think of bolting out to a fast food restaurant every 2 hours, like I did on the first day of my post. Yes, they're still a temptation...one of my biggest issues, actually....but things are getting easier. I also noticed that although I ended up at Subway in a couple of bad situations....in the entire month I have not had one single binge. I haven't had a double bacon cheeseburger. I haven't had one single french fry. I haven't had one single chocolate milkshake. I haven't had any fast food past a couple of times at Subway, and one time at Taco Bell. And even those weren't horrendous. Are you believing this??? Yeah, me neither. Simply amazing. I haven't had another single 3-4,000 day since I started. Now that's progress, folks. That's what it looks like when you finally get your mind in the right place...when you finally say "NO MORE"....when you finally start caring about your health and your future and everything you want to do in life. THANK GOD!!
I was reading along through my posts and finally got to the one labeled "Free Day". As we all know, I eliminated this Thursday night as part of my new plan to do better. After reading the post, I remembered why I started it in the first place....all of those parties/celebrations/cookouts/birthdays/holidays/family reunions where you're undoubtedly going to be surrounded by bad food....food that you didn't prepare and you have little to no idea how many calories are in it. Special days that you cannot avoid or "get out of".
As a matter of fact, before I eliminated Free Day, I agreed to meet up with all of my girlfriends and Dwayne for "Friends Night Out"next Saturday night, July 18th. This is where we meet at either Los Reyes or Bailey's Pub and Grille and catch up on everyone's busy lives. Because of everyone's hectic schedules, we haven't had a friend's night out on the town in about 6 months. We are due. I suggested Los Reyes, thinking it would be a little easier to figure out the calories there than it would at Bailey's...a restaurant filled with greasy bar food. Even though it was going to be on Free Day, I still didn't like the thoughts of going completely crazy. I gained 4.4 lbs. last weekend from not caring. I paid for it on the scale this week.
The weekend after that is my birthday. I already knew that Dwayne was going to set something up with our friends for my birthday and it always includes a restaurant with good food and good beer. This year, I told him I want to skip the restaurant. It just wouldn't jive with my lifestyle changes, and could we set something up somewhere to grill out. That way I would have a little more control over making sure there were some healthy options there for me (i.e., grilled chicken, fresh fruit, etc.) Today I realized I've got 2 events coming up 2 weeks in a row and I got rid of Free Day. Hmmmm......now what?
Thanks to being able to take the time to catch up on all of those blogs today, I finally found the solution. After all, EVERYONE has days like this that they can't get out of. Somebody had to have figured it out by now. I found the answer on my new buddy Sean's blog: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog from the beginning, and found out that the first cookout he was faced with, he decided to allow himself an extra 1,000 calories that day. He has a 1500 calorie a day limit so that gave him 2500. At first, I was appalled at that amount. How am I ever going to lose weight eating 2500 calories a day, Sean?!?!
I had to really sit and think this through to see if I thought it would work for me. When Sean first started, he weighed 505 lbs. I was thinking he could probably stand to eat a lot more calories than me and still lose gobs of weight. I wasn't sure I could afford it. I surely didn't want to implement something into my plan that was going to cause me to go backwards. So....I went back to before I started losing the weight. I have already established that I was eating around 4,000 calories a day. And that was a normal, ordinary day. On a day that I would splurge, (birthdays, cookouts, and let's not even talk about the family reunion back in May), that was easily 5,000 calories...possibly more.
So, fast forward to now and my 1550 limit per day. Giving myself an extra 1,000 calories and allowing it to climb to 2500 is still WAY less than what I was eating just a month ago. Providing I don't have more than one 2500 calorie, event-filled day in one week, I started thinking this might be okay. Then I broke it down a little further. I was challenged to keep my calories strictly between 1350-1550 a day for this entire week. I've been eating at the 1550 mark for the last 2 days. If I dropped it to 1350, there's an extra 200 calories a day there that was already "ok" to eat....so technically, that extra 1,000 calories can break down to the extra 200 a day over 5 days. Suddenly, the idea of allowing myself the extra calories seemed very doable. And I like the fact that you're making yourself count the calories. If I didn't, and just left it as Free Day, I'm betting an extra 2,000 calories could slip by me without even noticing. Thanks Sean!! (Of course, if I show a gain the next weigh day after I do this...I'm hunting you down, lol).
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1530
Carbs 120
Fat 51
Protein 160
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole
2 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
2 homemade chicken soft tacos on wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce
Jambalaya Confetti Casserole ( I made up this recipe tonight and it was AMAZING!...although I did steal the word "Confetti" from Pam's Confetti Chicken recipe :))
2 oz. Boar's Head 42% lower sodium ham
7 crackers w/ 2 tbsp. of roasted red pepper hummus
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate (I'm really diggin' this stuff)
1 protein water
64 oz. regular water....NO TEA...NO COKE!!
I plan on working my butt off tomorrow moving some boxes. I haven't moved any in 3 days...time to get busy!! Due to this and knowing how worn out I'll be when I get done, I'm going to do the treadmill in the morning before I leave, and I'm also taking Pam's advice and throwing some chicken and veggies in the crockpot before I head out so I don't have to cook when I get home. See there....I do pay attention. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving." -Dennis Waitley
Going For The Gold!!!
Today has been A-W-E-S-O-M-E!! By now everyone knows that this morning's weigh-in was a bust. I gained 1.6 lbs. on the 4th week. Only 4 weeks into it and I've already got a gain. I could look at it like that.
I choose to look at it like this.....I knew yesterday it was going to be bad so I got busy trying to figure out how to do better. I took advice from people who have "been there, done that" as well as advice from a friend who's a registered nurse, pondered all of it, and developed a plan to make this week better. Of course, I have no way of knowing how it will work out until next weigh day. Truth be told, I could still be doing some things wrong. That's not the point. The point is, I'm doing my best to be proactive in losing the weight, trying new things to see what works for me because everyone's different, and I'm learning as I go. As long as I'm open to continuously learning, helpful criticism, and willing to do "whatever it takes" (as Dad so wisely told me this morning), then I can only get better.
I left out early this morning to meet my two sisters, Brandy and Amy, and my adorable little nieces and nephews....Grace and Carla, age 4, Elijah, age 2 1/2 and Cyress, age 2. We took the babies to a farm in Cartersville so they could feed and pet the animals. I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Yes, the kids drive me nuts when they're all in the same house running around playing and screaming and "being kids" (much of this due to the fact that I don't have any children of my own and am just not used to the chaos). But when we're out and about, actually doing something that they enjoy and that holds their attention....well it's just the coolest thing in the world to be a part of.
There were lots of animals for the kids to interact with and the guy showing us around the farm was extremely knowledgeable on all of them. I tipped him $10 for taking the time to educate us and for his patience with the kids. He made the trip a pleasure. We got to see camels (including a baby one), a young cow that the kids got to walk right up to and pet...he wasn't fenced in, he just freely roams around the farm, some beautiful peacocks, a porcupine, tortoises, baby kangaroos, cockatiels, macaws, donkeys, horses, goats (including one that was only a week old and the most adorable thing you've ever seen), ostriches, emus, the biggest bull I've ever seen in my life who just happened to be named Buttercup, a Mexican bull that had a rack like a Texas longhorn, and zebras. Very, very cool. The kids had a great time, they got to feed and pet most of the animals w/ the exception of the bulls, and they asked if we would bring them back again. Of course we will!!
Brandy had told me the night before that we were going to swing thru McDonald's for breakfast on our way to the farm. I was prepared and ate my breakfast casserole this morning before I left...183 calories. Of course when we pulled thru, I could smell those Egg McMuffins. I've mentioned before that my sense of smell is my biggest saboteur when it comes to food. But I held strong and resisted the temptation. After we left the farm, I knew we'd be going to lunch, but didn't know where. I wasn't too worried about it because my sister Brandy is very conscious of her weight and never varies more than 5 lbs. She is 6' tall and weighs 155 lbs. She's a stick and she loves it. She's got a couple of fast food places that she goes to when she's out and about because she's got the calories memorized on the things she eats there. One of the big ones is Chic-fil-A. I figured wherever we ended up, I'd just follow her lead and be okay.
Boy was I wrong. They decided they wanted Mexican!! Crap. Driving on home and skipping the restaurant wasn't an option because I was riding with my sister Amy. My car was back at Mom's house. I was so screwed, lol. I could smell those fajitas from 5 miles away. Here we go, I thought. We got there and I surveyed the menu. It's so hard to eat in a restaurant and calorie count when you haven't had a chance to check a nutrition guide online ahead of time. Los Reyes doesn't even have one, but we ended up at El Nopal. And then there's always the dreaded sodium that there's just no escaping. I didn't want to make my sisters uncomfortable by not ordering anything at all, so I got a glass of water and 1 chicken soft taco, which by the way, was half the size of the ones at Los Reyes, so that was a good thing. It had maybe 3 oz of chicken in it w/ tomatoes and onions...I said no to the shredded cheese and only got lettuce on it. Cost me $2.14. I think that was the cheapest lunch I've ever had in my life.
I white-knuckled the table while the rest of the family members gobbled down their fajitas, cheese dip, and chips and salsa. Oh the smell....I was in Mexican Heaven....or Hell...however you want to look at it. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I had to physically restrain my arm from reaching into that chip bowl no less than 25 times during the course of our lunch. What a habit it is to eat those free chips and salsa! You don't even think about it....your hand just automatically reaches for those greasy, crispy, salty treats. I didn't eat a single one. Not even a crumb. I didn't touch the cheese dip. I didn't eat any of the fajitas that Amy didn't finish. I ate my 3-bite taco, sucked the bottom out of my water glass, and prayed for them to hurry the hell up so we could get out of there.
All that soft taco did was whet my appetite. My stomach wasn't growling when we first got to the restaurant, but it sure was raising a ruckus when we left. I finally made it back to my car and straight home to make another taco. I had made my own version of chicken soft tacos the night before and still had some left over. It was so good....totally worth the wait. I'm glad I made it through the restaurant ordeal.
I did some chores around the house and when it was time to cook dinner I sauteed some baby scallops (found them on sale for $3.99/lb!) with some broccoli, onions, mushrooms, and red and green bell peppers. I threw in some garlic, ginger, adobo, red pepper flakes and low sodium soy sauce. FABULOUS meal. Just fabulous. And less than 300 calories. As good as it tasted, it wasn't very filling, so I ended up making a ham wrap later. I still had too many calories left over and I was serious about not going under 1350, so I ate stuff here and there until I got pretty close to the 1550 mark.
I went down and got on the treadmill like I said I was going to start doing EVERY day. The daily requirement is now 20 minutes until I build up some endurance. I was already dying at 15-16 mins to do the mile I was doing. Apparently I didnt' know what death was, lol. I walked at a speed of 4.0 for the first 17 mins and then dropped the speed down to 3.5 for the last 3 minutes. At the 20 min marker I had walked 1.3 miles and I fell off the machine. Oh! By the way, when I first got in the fitness room I got on our elliptical machine for the first time. I attempted it. I lasted 1 minute, lol. I truly don't think I'll be on that thing agan for at least the next 50 lbs. It hurts your thigh muscles just to stand on it....before you even start using it. While I was fooling around with it, thinking in my head "never again", a pretty fit-looking guy came in the fitness room. I immediately asked him if he wanted the elliptical so I could get off of it and make it look like I was just being nice....not that it was killing me. He said, "Are you kidding me? I hate that thing. It's a b*tch!" Yeah, no kidding.
The calorie counting website that I use has a fitness section that I perused for the first time tonight. I found a place to enter in "walking on treadmill". It offered different times for different amounts of miles. I chose the "1 mile in 15 mins" option, thinking that doing 1.3 mi in 20 mins would be pretty darn accurate. It said I burned 209 calories!! GO SKINNY TAMMY!! I also got in the kitchen and chopped up a ton of veggies. I soooo didn't feel like it. I was tired and sore after the treadmill, sweating like a pig, and ready to call it a day. But I said I was going to do it today so I knew I needed to. I argued with myself first (I do this a lot):
Go chop up the veggies.
I don't feel like it tonight.
You laid out a plan yesterday. You've gotta' stick to it.
I'm just so tired tonight.
That's your excuse every night. This will assist you each night for the rest of the week.
Can't you see I just burned a whopping 209 calories on the treadmill?!?!
Good for you. Now get busy.
Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
Several times in the last 4 weeks, but I'm also the reason you exceeded your 10 lb. monthly goal with a 12 lb. loss. Now get in there and start chopping...Porkchop Girl.
Touche :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Calories 1528
Carbs 80
Fat 53
Protein 183
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole (see yesterday's post for ingredients)
1 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 El Nopal chicken soft taco with lettuce, no cheese
1 homemade chicken soft taco w/ lettuce on wheat tortilla
Scallop stir fry
Ham wrap on wheat tortilla w/ lettuce, tomatoes, onions, lite mayo, lite Italian dressing
Bowl of chicken stew (5 oz chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate
Lots of water
1 protein water....NO TEA....NO COKE :)
One final thought....I know you're all just DYING for this long-winded post to end. :) Several years ago during one of the Olympic games Nike put out a commercial. It is my favorite commercial of all time. It had one statement written on the screen that said, "You don't win silver, you lose gold." WOW. DOUBLE WOW. Oh the fallout that was going to come from that one. They had stepped in it big time. Needless to say, all of the silver medalists had a global freak-out and I watched the news like a hawk over the next couple of days to see what Nike's response was going to be. I figured they would buckle under the pressure and fall all over themselves apologizing. They didn't.
They put out a statement saying that while the silver medalists had made outstanding achievements and should be proud of what they had attained, Nike holds themselves to a standard of the highest excellence, one that the gold medal represents, and they would continue to do so. Awesome. Let me just say that there's nothing wrong with going for the gold, for wanting to be the absolute best you can be and working hard to reach it. The world is full of mediocrity and good intentions. Be different! Set your goal to be the best you can possibly be and do what it takes to get there. There's a saying that goes, "Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." I've always hated that saying. In my mind you should be shooting for the moon and not stopping til you reach it. Go for the gold!!! Happy Moonwalking. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failure? I've never encountered it....only temporary setbacks." -Bill Marriott, Marriott Hotels
I choose to look at it like this.....I knew yesterday it was going to be bad so I got busy trying to figure out how to do better. I took advice from people who have "been there, done that" as well as advice from a friend who's a registered nurse, pondered all of it, and developed a plan to make this week better. Of course, I have no way of knowing how it will work out until next weigh day. Truth be told, I could still be doing some things wrong. That's not the point. The point is, I'm doing my best to be proactive in losing the weight, trying new things to see what works for me because everyone's different, and I'm learning as I go. As long as I'm open to continuously learning, helpful criticism, and willing to do "whatever it takes" (as Dad so wisely told me this morning), then I can only get better.
I left out early this morning to meet my two sisters, Brandy and Amy, and my adorable little nieces and nephews....Grace and Carla, age 4, Elijah, age 2 1/2 and Cyress, age 2. We took the babies to a farm in Cartersville so they could feed and pet the animals. I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Yes, the kids drive me nuts when they're all in the same house running around playing and screaming and "being kids" (much of this due to the fact that I don't have any children of my own and am just not used to the chaos). But when we're out and about, actually doing something that they enjoy and that holds their attention....well it's just the coolest thing in the world to be a part of.
There were lots of animals for the kids to interact with and the guy showing us around the farm was extremely knowledgeable on all of them. I tipped him $10 for taking the time to educate us and for his patience with the kids. He made the trip a pleasure. We got to see camels (including a baby one), a young cow that the kids got to walk right up to and pet...he wasn't fenced in, he just freely roams around the farm, some beautiful peacocks, a porcupine, tortoises, baby kangaroos, cockatiels, macaws, donkeys, horses, goats (including one that was only a week old and the most adorable thing you've ever seen), ostriches, emus, the biggest bull I've ever seen in my life who just happened to be named Buttercup, a Mexican bull that had a rack like a Texas longhorn, and zebras. Very, very cool. The kids had a great time, they got to feed and pet most of the animals w/ the exception of the bulls, and they asked if we would bring them back again. Of course we will!!
Brandy had told me the night before that we were going to swing thru McDonald's for breakfast on our way to the farm. I was prepared and ate my breakfast casserole this morning before I left...183 calories. Of course when we pulled thru, I could smell those Egg McMuffins. I've mentioned before that my sense of smell is my biggest saboteur when it comes to food. But I held strong and resisted the temptation. After we left the farm, I knew we'd be going to lunch, but didn't know where. I wasn't too worried about it because my sister Brandy is very conscious of her weight and never varies more than 5 lbs. She is 6' tall and weighs 155 lbs. She's a stick and she loves it. She's got a couple of fast food places that she goes to when she's out and about because she's got the calories memorized on the things she eats there. One of the big ones is Chic-fil-A. I figured wherever we ended up, I'd just follow her lead and be okay.
Boy was I wrong. They decided they wanted Mexican!! Crap. Driving on home and skipping the restaurant wasn't an option because I was riding with my sister Amy. My car was back at Mom's house. I was so screwed, lol. I could smell those fajitas from 5 miles away. Here we go, I thought. We got there and I surveyed the menu. It's so hard to eat in a restaurant and calorie count when you haven't had a chance to check a nutrition guide online ahead of time. Los Reyes doesn't even have one, but we ended up at El Nopal. And then there's always the dreaded sodium that there's just no escaping. I didn't want to make my sisters uncomfortable by not ordering anything at all, so I got a glass of water and 1 chicken soft taco, which by the way, was half the size of the ones at Los Reyes, so that was a good thing. It had maybe 3 oz of chicken in it w/ tomatoes and onions...I said no to the shredded cheese and only got lettuce on it. Cost me $2.14. I think that was the cheapest lunch I've ever had in my life.
I white-knuckled the table while the rest of the family members gobbled down their fajitas, cheese dip, and chips and salsa. Oh the smell....I was in Mexican Heaven....or Hell...however you want to look at it. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I had to physically restrain my arm from reaching into that chip bowl no less than 25 times during the course of our lunch. What a habit it is to eat those free chips and salsa! You don't even think about it....your hand just automatically reaches for those greasy, crispy, salty treats. I didn't eat a single one. Not even a crumb. I didn't touch the cheese dip. I didn't eat any of the fajitas that Amy didn't finish. I ate my 3-bite taco, sucked the bottom out of my water glass, and prayed for them to hurry the hell up so we could get out of there.
All that soft taco did was whet my appetite. My stomach wasn't growling when we first got to the restaurant, but it sure was raising a ruckus when we left. I finally made it back to my car and straight home to make another taco. I had made my own version of chicken soft tacos the night before and still had some left over. It was so good....totally worth the wait. I'm glad I made it through the restaurant ordeal.
I did some chores around the house and when it was time to cook dinner I sauteed some baby scallops (found them on sale for $3.99/lb!) with some broccoli, onions, mushrooms, and red and green bell peppers. I threw in some garlic, ginger, adobo, red pepper flakes and low sodium soy sauce. FABULOUS meal. Just fabulous. And less than 300 calories. As good as it tasted, it wasn't very filling, so I ended up making a ham wrap later. I still had too many calories left over and I was serious about not going under 1350, so I ate stuff here and there until I got pretty close to the 1550 mark.
I went down and got on the treadmill like I said I was going to start doing EVERY day. The daily requirement is now 20 minutes until I build up some endurance. I was already dying at 15-16 mins to do the mile I was doing. Apparently I didnt' know what death was, lol. I walked at a speed of 4.0 for the first 17 mins and then dropped the speed down to 3.5 for the last 3 minutes. At the 20 min marker I had walked 1.3 miles and I fell off the machine. Oh! By the way, when I first got in the fitness room I got on our elliptical machine for the first time. I attempted it. I lasted 1 minute, lol. I truly don't think I'll be on that thing agan for at least the next 50 lbs. It hurts your thigh muscles just to stand on it....before you even start using it. While I was fooling around with it, thinking in my head "never again", a pretty fit-looking guy came in the fitness room. I immediately asked him if he wanted the elliptical so I could get off of it and make it look like I was just being nice....not that it was killing me. He said, "Are you kidding me? I hate that thing. It's a b*tch!" Yeah, no kidding.
The calorie counting website that I use has a fitness section that I perused for the first time tonight. I found a place to enter in "walking on treadmill". It offered different times for different amounts of miles. I chose the "1 mile in 15 mins" option, thinking that doing 1.3 mi in 20 mins would be pretty darn accurate. It said I burned 209 calories!! GO SKINNY TAMMY!! I also got in the kitchen and chopped up a ton of veggies. I soooo didn't feel like it. I was tired and sore after the treadmill, sweating like a pig, and ready to call it a day. But I said I was going to do it today so I knew I needed to. I argued with myself first (I do this a lot):
Go chop up the veggies.
I don't feel like it tonight.
You laid out a plan yesterday. You've gotta' stick to it.
I'm just so tired tonight.
That's your excuse every night. This will assist you each night for the rest of the week.
Can't you see I just burned a whopping 209 calories on the treadmill?!?!
Good for you. Now get busy.
Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
Several times in the last 4 weeks, but I'm also the reason you exceeded your 10 lb. monthly goal with a 12 lb. loss. Now get in there and start chopping...Porkchop Girl.
Touche :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Calories 1528
Carbs 80
Fat 53
Protein 183
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole (see yesterday's post for ingredients)
1 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 El Nopal chicken soft taco with lettuce, no cheese
1 homemade chicken soft taco w/ lettuce on wheat tortilla
Scallop stir fry
Ham wrap on wheat tortilla w/ lettuce, tomatoes, onions, lite mayo, lite Italian dressing
Bowl of chicken stew (5 oz chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate
Lots of water
1 protein water....NO TEA....NO COKE :)
One final thought....I know you're all just DYING for this long-winded post to end. :) Several years ago during one of the Olympic games Nike put out a commercial. It is my favorite commercial of all time. It had one statement written on the screen that said, "You don't win silver, you lose gold." WOW. DOUBLE WOW. Oh the fallout that was going to come from that one. They had stepped in it big time. Needless to say, all of the silver medalists had a global freak-out and I watched the news like a hawk over the next couple of days to see what Nike's response was going to be. I figured they would buckle under the pressure and fall all over themselves apologizing. They didn't.
They put out a statement saying that while the silver medalists had made outstanding achievements and should be proud of what they had attained, Nike holds themselves to a standard of the highest excellence, one that the gold medal represents, and they would continue to do so. Awesome. Let me just say that there's nothing wrong with going for the gold, for wanting to be the absolute best you can be and working hard to reach it. The world is full of mediocrity and good intentions. Be different! Set your goal to be the best you can possibly be and do what it takes to get there. There's a saying that goes, "Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." I've always hated that saying. In my mind you should be shooting for the moon and not stopping til you reach it. Go for the gold!!! Happy Moonwalking. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failure? I've never encountered it....only temporary setbacks." -Bill Marriott, Marriott Hotels
Friday, July 10, 2009
Bummer
This morning I weighed in at 260.0 for a gain of 1.6 lbs. And that's all I have to say about that. Onward.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan
I already know that tomorrow's weigh-in is not going to be a good one. Last Friday I weighed 258.4. After the Chinese I had that night on "free day", and the 4th of July eating on Saturday, I managed to gain 4.4 lbs. in a 24 hour time period. Don't ask me how, but I did. The proof was on the scale when I got on early Sunday morning. Freak out time. I knew I had 6 days to get off 4.4 lbs. JUST to break even....forget about losing below 258.4. Well I got on the scale again this morning and I'm just not going to make it. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow morning, but I feel certain it's going to show a gain from last week's weigh-in. Again, freak out time.
I spent all day, on and off, emailing people to find out what in the world I did wrong this week. I talked to 3 people and all of them gave me some great advice. It's time for a new plan. Although my calories only exceeded my 1550 limit one day this week, they were all over the map. One day they were around 990 and another I think it was 1046. The over day was around 1900. There was absolutely no consistency whatsoever, and apparently that's a problem.
Also, although I was way more active this week than I normally am, the fact is, for exercise to assist you in actually LOSING, your heart rate HAS to be elevated for at least 20 consecutive minutes, as in walking on a treadmill. I've been doing a mile in 15 to 16 minutes. I need to stay on a little bit longer, so now I'm no longer paying attention to the distance, I'm paying attention to the time. Added to that is the fact that I don't think walking on the treadmill every other day is enough. I really think I need to start making myself walk on it every day that I possibly can. If I don't make the time to get on it every day and walk at least 20 minutes, I'm going to consider that a screw-up.
I'm also going to make a menu plan tomorrow to last through next Thursday. I'm not going to plan out every breakfast, lunch and snack to a "T", but I am going to plan out 7 different dinners, making 2 or 3 of them crockpot meals, for the days that I'm just too busy or too tired to fool with dinner. I'm going to keep my calories between 1350-1550 every day this next week. Nothing below 1350 and nothing above 1550. I am told that consistency with the calories WILL make a difference. I've been challenged to try it and see the impending loss on the scale next week. I'm giving it a shot. I also plan on chopping up some fresh veggies to grab for a snack, or to help pull dinner together.
Finally, I am announcing that I've eliminated Free Day. One of my friends very nicely pointed out the stupidity in this. Giving myself a free day to eat whatever I want sets me up to scratch and claw all week to get through the first 6 days so I can focus on eating like a moron on free day. That's the wrong way to approach my goals. It should be the exact opposite. By eliminating one day a week to eat whatever I want, I am putting myself in line for a serious mental change in my attitude towards eating right. Free Day is not for eating right...it's for eating like an idiot and not caring. Wrong thing to do. My friend likened it to working hard to reach a goal, finally reaching it, and then celebrating that with lots of bad food. How many times have I done this???? I can't count that high. I have to admit, when my friend suggested getting rid of Free Day, I nearly lost my breath. That very reaction made me realize I was approaching this all wrong. Time to right the wrongs. Free Day is gone.
One of my friends also told me to consult an expert if I really want to get serious and get things right. They asked me if Jillian Michaels has a book out and I'm pretty certain I've seen that hard body on the cover of a book somewhere. I had originally planned on getting a pedicure as my reward for reaching my first 15 lb. goal, whenever that is. I've changed my mind. My first reward is going to be her book....something to help educate me on how to get even better with my new lifestyle. I can't think of a more appropriate reward for my daily travels as I work towards my goals.
I want to say a big "HELLO" to my newest follower from http://fat-free-me.blogspot.com/. I don't know your name yet but I see you live in Scotland....how cool is that??? My first international follower...awesome! I checked out your blog today....congrats on the smaller jacket size! I bet that feels great. :) I enjoyed reading some of your posts so I'm adding you to my blogroll. Thanks for checking mine out. :)
And finally I must say to my oldest and dearest friend.....CONGRATULATIONS PAM!!! Girlfriend reached one of her BIG goals today.....she got under 300 lbs, never to return again!!! It's an amazing accomplishment.....her tenacity is paying off....and I'm soooo happy for her. She and her husband Randall are taking a weekend trip to their favorite destination...Savannah, GA. as a reward for their hard work. (Randall's losing weight too!) Of course they're taking along their adorable son Daniel, who I have yet to meet due to us living in different states. She started his own little blog and has a video on it of him singing...too precious. If you love cute kids, check out the blog: http://firsttimemommyandson.blogspot.com/.
So...I've got some things to change. I have to say my curiosity is piqued to see if these things will result in a loss on the scale next week. I want to get it right. I want the weight gone and I want to do it in the correct, efficient, healthy way. I thank God that I'm surrounded by such amazing friends and family. I am truly blessed. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1548
Carbs 56
Fat 35
Protein 155
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole, 1 pc. (asparagus, spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, red. fat chz, egg whites, homemade turkey sausage)
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Publix deli turkey sub, 6" on 5 grain bread w/ spicy mustard, lettuce, onions, pickles, banana peppers
Chicken stew (adapted from the Minorcan chicken & dumplings, but made w/ no dumplings...included chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper...poured over 1 pc. sourdough bread)
1 Homemade chicken soft taco (adapted from Los Reyes' restaurant version....made w/ chicken, Rotel tomatoes & chiles, and onions, on a low-carb, wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce) FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
2 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate squares
1 protein water
96 oz. water....NO TEA....NO COKE!!!
Quote For The Day:
"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." -Abraham Lincoln
I spent all day, on and off, emailing people to find out what in the world I did wrong this week. I talked to 3 people and all of them gave me some great advice. It's time for a new plan. Although my calories only exceeded my 1550 limit one day this week, they were all over the map. One day they were around 990 and another I think it was 1046. The over day was around 1900. There was absolutely no consistency whatsoever, and apparently that's a problem.
Also, although I was way more active this week than I normally am, the fact is, for exercise to assist you in actually LOSING, your heart rate HAS to be elevated for at least 20 consecutive minutes, as in walking on a treadmill. I've been doing a mile in 15 to 16 minutes. I need to stay on a little bit longer, so now I'm no longer paying attention to the distance, I'm paying attention to the time. Added to that is the fact that I don't think walking on the treadmill every other day is enough. I really think I need to start making myself walk on it every day that I possibly can. If I don't make the time to get on it every day and walk at least 20 minutes, I'm going to consider that a screw-up.
I'm also going to make a menu plan tomorrow to last through next Thursday. I'm not going to plan out every breakfast, lunch and snack to a "T", but I am going to plan out 7 different dinners, making 2 or 3 of them crockpot meals, for the days that I'm just too busy or too tired to fool with dinner. I'm going to keep my calories between 1350-1550 every day this next week. Nothing below 1350 and nothing above 1550. I am told that consistency with the calories WILL make a difference. I've been challenged to try it and see the impending loss on the scale next week. I'm giving it a shot. I also plan on chopping up some fresh veggies to grab for a snack, or to help pull dinner together.
Finally, I am announcing that I've eliminated Free Day. One of my friends very nicely pointed out the stupidity in this. Giving myself a free day to eat whatever I want sets me up to scratch and claw all week to get through the first 6 days so I can focus on eating like a moron on free day. That's the wrong way to approach my goals. It should be the exact opposite. By eliminating one day a week to eat whatever I want, I am putting myself in line for a serious mental change in my attitude towards eating right. Free Day is not for eating right...it's for eating like an idiot and not caring. Wrong thing to do. My friend likened it to working hard to reach a goal, finally reaching it, and then celebrating that with lots of bad food. How many times have I done this???? I can't count that high. I have to admit, when my friend suggested getting rid of Free Day, I nearly lost my breath. That very reaction made me realize I was approaching this all wrong. Time to right the wrongs. Free Day is gone.
One of my friends also told me to consult an expert if I really want to get serious and get things right. They asked me if Jillian Michaels has a book out and I'm pretty certain I've seen that hard body on the cover of a book somewhere. I had originally planned on getting a pedicure as my reward for reaching my first 15 lb. goal, whenever that is. I've changed my mind. My first reward is going to be her book....something to help educate me on how to get even better with my new lifestyle. I can't think of a more appropriate reward for my daily travels as I work towards my goals.
I want to say a big "HELLO" to my newest follower from http://fat-free-me.blogspot.com/. I don't know your name yet but I see you live in Scotland....how cool is that??? My first international follower...awesome! I checked out your blog today....congrats on the smaller jacket size! I bet that feels great. :) I enjoyed reading some of your posts so I'm adding you to my blogroll. Thanks for checking mine out. :)
And finally I must say to my oldest and dearest friend.....CONGRATULATIONS PAM!!! Girlfriend reached one of her BIG goals today.....she got under 300 lbs, never to return again!!! It's an amazing accomplishment.....her tenacity is paying off....and I'm soooo happy for her. She and her husband Randall are taking a weekend trip to their favorite destination...Savannah, GA. as a reward for their hard work. (Randall's losing weight too!) Of course they're taking along their adorable son Daniel, who I have yet to meet due to us living in different states. She started his own little blog and has a video on it of him singing...too precious. If you love cute kids, check out the blog: http://firsttimemommyandson.blogspot.com/.
So...I've got some things to change. I have to say my curiosity is piqued to see if these things will result in a loss on the scale next week. I want to get it right. I want the weight gone and I want to do it in the correct, efficient, healthy way. I thank God that I'm surrounded by such amazing friends and family. I am truly blessed. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1548
Carbs 56
Fat 35
Protein 155
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole, 1 pc. (asparagus, spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, red. fat chz, egg whites, homemade turkey sausage)
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Publix deli turkey sub, 6" on 5 grain bread w/ spicy mustard, lettuce, onions, pickles, banana peppers
Chicken stew (adapted from the Minorcan chicken & dumplings, but made w/ no dumplings...included chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper...poured over 1 pc. sourdough bread)
1 Homemade chicken soft taco (adapted from Los Reyes' restaurant version....made w/ chicken, Rotel tomatoes & chiles, and onions, on a low-carb, wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce) FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
2 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate squares
1 protein water
96 oz. water....NO TEA....NO COKE!!!
Quote For The Day:
"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." -Abraham Lincoln
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Fast Food Freak
No, I haven't eaten any fast food today, but I sure thought about it. Thought about it hard. I have some serious issues. I'm just now realizing today how MANY bad issues I have with food.
I headed out this morning to Target and picked up a slipcover for the used sofa I bought yesterday. Our current sofa was cheaply made when we bought it over 3 years ago, and the board on the bottom of it has broken and splintered. It was time for something else, but I'm incredibly cheap, so Mom took me to the Habitat for Humanity salvage store yesterday and I picked up an antique camel back sofa w/ claw feet for $45. Naturally, I'm not going to sit on someone else's ick, so I went to Target this morning and bought a new slipcover for it. Most of the ones that were sofa-sized were $90. I scrounged around until I finally found the cheapest one they had...$60. At least it's clean.
I also picked up a beige rug w/ a burgundy border because I now have a burgundy love seat and chair and a beige-covered sofa. Needed something to tie it all together. The rug I wanted was $150. No can do. I found a smaller one in the same design for $80. That's the one I got. All I really need it for is to pull the colors together and cover up the wires that will run from the TV to the surround sound speakers across the room.
I headed up to Mom's, unloaded my car, jumped in her truck, went and got the sofa, came back and got my sister Amy to help me unload it and carry it in the house, put the new rug down, put the slipcover on the sofa, and it's way too big. Have you ever noticed how those antique sofas are way smaller than the current furniture they make? It looks retarded, but again, at least it's clean.
I jumped back in Mom's truck, went back to the apt. and loaded it up (9 or 10 trips up and down the stairs), drove back to Mom's and unloaded it. I had everything done by about 2:30pm today and headed back home. After 2 days of packing and moving boxes, carrying sofas around, etc., my lower back was shot. My legs, knees and arms weren't feeling much better. Hurting pretty bad. I thought about the concept of cooking dinner tonight and I knew it just wasn't going to happen. There was no way. I was locked up stiffer than the Tin Man w/ no oil can.
This is where I had the epiphany that I am a fast food freak. We can include regular restaurants in that category too. I did not want to cook. I refused to cook. There's no one else at the apt. to cook for me (trust me, Shane doesn't count), so that only leaves a restaurant. It is SO easy to swing into a drive-thru. Do you know how many there are on the 20 minute drive from Mom's to my place? Yeah, that many. I fought and fought with myself, knowing it was the wrong thing to do (this was on the drive back to my place after leaving Mom's). I forced my car to stay on the interstate and not veer down one of those exit ramps into Fast Food Hell. I made it home, got upstairs, checked email and read weight loss blogs for an hour or so, and was then wishing I could lay down on my bed, hold my mouth open, and someone else pour food into it for me that they had cooked.
I was exhausted, in pain, irritable, and sincerely pissed off that I didn't have a personal chef slaving away in the kitchen making me a healthy meal for dinner. What do people trying to eat healthy do on days like this? What do they when their entire body is in pain, they are thoroughly physically exhausted, and cannot bring themselves to stand in the kitchen long enough to even chop up veggies for a simple salad (not that a simple salad would have satisfied my kind of hunger)?
I had managed to avoid the fast food crap, but now it was about 7pm and I was starting to consider dragging myself down to the car and crawling into a restaurant booth somewhere close by. The closest restaurant to me is Los Reyes. It's about a mile down the road. I started thinking about their chicken soft tacos. They cook their chicken in tomatoes and onions, much like the Minorcan food that Mom makes that I was raised on and love so much. Add a little lettuce, forego the cheese, and they're pretty dang tasty. That's got to be better than fast food, right? Maybe in the way of it not being fried, yes. Maybe in the way of not having as many fat grams in it. But there's always the dreaded "S" word lurking in every fast food/regular restaurant you eat in. Sodium. Too much sodium = too much water weight, and it's 2 days before weigh day. DAMMIT!!!
Today I seriously started thinking that maybe I can't do this. Maybe I don't have what it takes to get this weight off and keep it off. It's not just going to be tonight that I don't feel like cooking. What about all those nights I had worked from 6a-4p, rushed to my college class at 5p, got home at 8pm and didn't want to cook? Enter take-out menu. How many times have I done that? Those days aren't over. I will eventually get another job. And I will eventually get up enough money to go back to school and finish my degree. What then? Am I doomed forever? Maybe I just don't have it in me to move beyond the excuses and push through and do what I need to do to get to a normal weight and maintain it. Maybe it will always be too hard for me. Maybe I'm not truly willing to persevere. Maybe I will always be "pork chop" girl. Maybe there is no Skinny Tammy hiding inside of me. Maybe it will always be Fat Tammy....the one I've known and hated for so many long years. Maybe I didnt' really make up my mind 3 1/2 weeks ago like I thought I did......like I so proudly told Dad I did.
Thank God for other weight loss blogs. I finally read one tonight that was just what I needed. It could not have been a more perfect post or come at a more perfect time. The one that turned my attitude around for me was http://jackfit.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog a few days ago and I find him quite funny...he has a unique, inventive way of posting. Crude? Definitely. Offensive? Pretty dang close. But is it real? Oh yes. That's why I like it. "Jack" doesn't tip toe around his blog, trying not to step on anyone's toes. He doesn't take life too seriously. He doesn't sweat the small stuff. He's got a quirky sense of humor, littered with the "s" word, but it's him being him. I emailed him a couple of days ago and he replied. He let me know that he's on the same journey I am...he's just viewing it from a "slightly skewed angle", as he put it. I'm glad. It's refreshing.
Today Jack did something out of the ordinary for him. He wrote a serious blog. No fun, no jokes, no "s" word every other sentence. He was trying to reach those of us struggling and he reached me. Thank you Lord! I would encourage all of you reading this to click on his link and read his post from today. Even if you never visit his site again, I hope you read this one post.
What he said is spot on. He describes having a Day of Reckoning with yourself. That one point in time where you're done screwing around, you realize the dangers of your weight, and you know the only thing that's going to rectify the situation is hard work. Calorie counting, smaller portions, exercise. Making that decision....the one that you took a stab at in the past, but never got right, because you hadn't REALLY made up your mind to change your life. It made me realize that I had made that decision. I made it over 3 weeks ago, and I meant it. It's done. I'm changing my lifestyle, I'm changing my habits, and somehow, not sure how yet, I've got to learn how to deal with the hard days. Quitting is not the answer. Quitting makes you fatter. Quitting leads to very bad health and eventually it leads to death. Early death. Young death. I don't want to be that girl that people stand over her coffin and say, "She was just so young....if only she had lost the weight......what a waste of a life". I don't want my parents to have to go to my funeral because I couldn't get a grip on the food. I don't want my precious little nieces and nephews to have to ask my family, "What happened to Aunt Tammy? Did she go to Heaven? I miss her."
I want to live! I want to be here for those babies. They're going to need a "cool" aunt and I'm it! I want to be here for my parents as they age and need more help. I want to be around to tell my sisters stupid jokes and make them laugh because they think I'm such a dork (they're right :)). I want to marry Dwayne one day and continue taking our little get-away trips to the beach together. I want to be around to help Shane....he has cerebal palsy and has a hard time doing things one-handed. I've got stuff to do! I can't let myself get sick and die because I couldn't stop dialing the Chinese restaurant!
I don't have all the answers. I know there are still plenty of rough days ahead, and truthfully, I'm not sure how I'll handle them. It takes me full circle, right back to the motto I started this blog with.....say it with me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thanks to reading Jack's post tonight, Los Reyes was no longer an option because it didn't jive with the decision I made to lose this weight. I drug my tired, aching, uninventive self into the kitchen and made the same thing for dinner that I had for breakfast this morning. Except I doubled the portion....2 sandwiches. I had over 700 calories available for dinner, so I tackled that hunger with both barrels.
Sorry this was such a long post but there was a lot going on in this screwed up head of mine. I'm still so, so thankful for this blog. I never knew that writing, getting all your thoughts out, and especially sharing them with others could be so therapeutic.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1494
Carbs 147
Fat 40
Protein 143
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white, scrambled
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo (made a sandwich)
Small bowl of pork pilau (pork, rice, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
Homemade turkey sausage (8 oz.)
1 whole egg, 3 egg whites, scrambled
2 Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thins w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo on each sandwich
8 oz. Coke
64 oz. water
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Quote For The Day:
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Louis Pasteur
I headed out this morning to Target and picked up a slipcover for the used sofa I bought yesterday. Our current sofa was cheaply made when we bought it over 3 years ago, and the board on the bottom of it has broken and splintered. It was time for something else, but I'm incredibly cheap, so Mom took me to the Habitat for Humanity salvage store yesterday and I picked up an antique camel back sofa w/ claw feet for $45. Naturally, I'm not going to sit on someone else's ick, so I went to Target this morning and bought a new slipcover for it. Most of the ones that were sofa-sized were $90. I scrounged around until I finally found the cheapest one they had...$60. At least it's clean.
I also picked up a beige rug w/ a burgundy border because I now have a burgundy love seat and chair and a beige-covered sofa. Needed something to tie it all together. The rug I wanted was $150. No can do. I found a smaller one in the same design for $80. That's the one I got. All I really need it for is to pull the colors together and cover up the wires that will run from the TV to the surround sound speakers across the room.
I headed up to Mom's, unloaded my car, jumped in her truck, went and got the sofa, came back and got my sister Amy to help me unload it and carry it in the house, put the new rug down, put the slipcover on the sofa, and it's way too big. Have you ever noticed how those antique sofas are way smaller than the current furniture they make? It looks retarded, but again, at least it's clean.
I jumped back in Mom's truck, went back to the apt. and loaded it up (9 or 10 trips up and down the stairs), drove back to Mom's and unloaded it. I had everything done by about 2:30pm today and headed back home. After 2 days of packing and moving boxes, carrying sofas around, etc., my lower back was shot. My legs, knees and arms weren't feeling much better. Hurting pretty bad. I thought about the concept of cooking dinner tonight and I knew it just wasn't going to happen. There was no way. I was locked up stiffer than the Tin Man w/ no oil can.
This is where I had the epiphany that I am a fast food freak. We can include regular restaurants in that category too. I did not want to cook. I refused to cook. There's no one else at the apt. to cook for me (trust me, Shane doesn't count), so that only leaves a restaurant. It is SO easy to swing into a drive-thru. Do you know how many there are on the 20 minute drive from Mom's to my place? Yeah, that many. I fought and fought with myself, knowing it was the wrong thing to do (this was on the drive back to my place after leaving Mom's). I forced my car to stay on the interstate and not veer down one of those exit ramps into Fast Food Hell. I made it home, got upstairs, checked email and read weight loss blogs for an hour or so, and was then wishing I could lay down on my bed, hold my mouth open, and someone else pour food into it for me that they had cooked.
I was exhausted, in pain, irritable, and sincerely pissed off that I didn't have a personal chef slaving away in the kitchen making me a healthy meal for dinner. What do people trying to eat healthy do on days like this? What do they when their entire body is in pain, they are thoroughly physically exhausted, and cannot bring themselves to stand in the kitchen long enough to even chop up veggies for a simple salad (not that a simple salad would have satisfied my kind of hunger)?
I had managed to avoid the fast food crap, but now it was about 7pm and I was starting to consider dragging myself down to the car and crawling into a restaurant booth somewhere close by. The closest restaurant to me is Los Reyes. It's about a mile down the road. I started thinking about their chicken soft tacos. They cook their chicken in tomatoes and onions, much like the Minorcan food that Mom makes that I was raised on and love so much. Add a little lettuce, forego the cheese, and they're pretty dang tasty. That's got to be better than fast food, right? Maybe in the way of it not being fried, yes. Maybe in the way of not having as many fat grams in it. But there's always the dreaded "S" word lurking in every fast food/regular restaurant you eat in. Sodium. Too much sodium = too much water weight, and it's 2 days before weigh day. DAMMIT!!!
Today I seriously started thinking that maybe I can't do this. Maybe I don't have what it takes to get this weight off and keep it off. It's not just going to be tonight that I don't feel like cooking. What about all those nights I had worked from 6a-4p, rushed to my college class at 5p, got home at 8pm and didn't want to cook? Enter take-out menu. How many times have I done that? Those days aren't over. I will eventually get another job. And I will eventually get up enough money to go back to school and finish my degree. What then? Am I doomed forever? Maybe I just don't have it in me to move beyond the excuses and push through and do what I need to do to get to a normal weight and maintain it. Maybe it will always be too hard for me. Maybe I'm not truly willing to persevere. Maybe I will always be "pork chop" girl. Maybe there is no Skinny Tammy hiding inside of me. Maybe it will always be Fat Tammy....the one I've known and hated for so many long years. Maybe I didnt' really make up my mind 3 1/2 weeks ago like I thought I did......like I so proudly told Dad I did.
Thank God for other weight loss blogs. I finally read one tonight that was just what I needed. It could not have been a more perfect post or come at a more perfect time. The one that turned my attitude around for me was http://jackfit.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog a few days ago and I find him quite funny...he has a unique, inventive way of posting. Crude? Definitely. Offensive? Pretty dang close. But is it real? Oh yes. That's why I like it. "Jack" doesn't tip toe around his blog, trying not to step on anyone's toes. He doesn't take life too seriously. He doesn't sweat the small stuff. He's got a quirky sense of humor, littered with the "s" word, but it's him being him. I emailed him a couple of days ago and he replied. He let me know that he's on the same journey I am...he's just viewing it from a "slightly skewed angle", as he put it. I'm glad. It's refreshing.
Today Jack did something out of the ordinary for him. He wrote a serious blog. No fun, no jokes, no "s" word every other sentence. He was trying to reach those of us struggling and he reached me. Thank you Lord! I would encourage all of you reading this to click on his link and read his post from today. Even if you never visit his site again, I hope you read this one post.
What he said is spot on. He describes having a Day of Reckoning with yourself. That one point in time where you're done screwing around, you realize the dangers of your weight, and you know the only thing that's going to rectify the situation is hard work. Calorie counting, smaller portions, exercise. Making that decision....the one that you took a stab at in the past, but never got right, because you hadn't REALLY made up your mind to change your life. It made me realize that I had made that decision. I made it over 3 weeks ago, and I meant it. It's done. I'm changing my lifestyle, I'm changing my habits, and somehow, not sure how yet, I've got to learn how to deal with the hard days. Quitting is not the answer. Quitting makes you fatter. Quitting leads to very bad health and eventually it leads to death. Early death. Young death. I don't want to be that girl that people stand over her coffin and say, "She was just so young....if only she had lost the weight......what a waste of a life". I don't want my parents to have to go to my funeral because I couldn't get a grip on the food. I don't want my precious little nieces and nephews to have to ask my family, "What happened to Aunt Tammy? Did she go to Heaven? I miss her."
I want to live! I want to be here for those babies. They're going to need a "cool" aunt and I'm it! I want to be here for my parents as they age and need more help. I want to be around to tell my sisters stupid jokes and make them laugh because they think I'm such a dork (they're right :)). I want to marry Dwayne one day and continue taking our little get-away trips to the beach together. I want to be around to help Shane....he has cerebal palsy and has a hard time doing things one-handed. I've got stuff to do! I can't let myself get sick and die because I couldn't stop dialing the Chinese restaurant!
I don't have all the answers. I know there are still plenty of rough days ahead, and truthfully, I'm not sure how I'll handle them. It takes me full circle, right back to the motto I started this blog with.....say it with me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thanks to reading Jack's post tonight, Los Reyes was no longer an option because it didn't jive with the decision I made to lose this weight. I drug my tired, aching, uninventive self into the kitchen and made the same thing for dinner that I had for breakfast this morning. Except I doubled the portion....2 sandwiches. I had over 700 calories available for dinner, so I tackled that hunger with both barrels.
Sorry this was such a long post but there was a lot going on in this screwed up head of mine. I'm still so, so thankful for this blog. I never knew that writing, getting all your thoughts out, and especially sharing them with others could be so therapeutic.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1494
Carbs 147
Fat 40
Protein 143
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white, scrambled
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo (made a sandwich)
Small bowl of pork pilau (pork, rice, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
Homemade turkey sausage (8 oz.)
1 whole egg, 3 egg whites, scrambled
2 Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thins w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo on each sandwich
8 oz. Coke
64 oz. water
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Quote For The Day:
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Louis Pasteur
Exhausted but Happy
I am completely exhausted, but it's been a productive day. Way better than the last two days. I went the furthest over my calorie limit today since I started this blog. I was a little upset about it earlier, but I got over it, because I've also been 100x more active today than I have since I started this blog. Pam says that when your activity level increases, your calorie limit should increase. From the hunger I was feeling today, that sounds about right to me. I was truly hungry, stomach growling, the whole bit. It wasn't emotional eating, so I can live with it.
Our search for a rental house is over. We're renting the house next door to my parents. They own both houses. We're getting a great deal and we're really looking forward to it. Thanks Mom and Dad!! I have been going from 7:30 this morning til, well, 1:30 the next morning....I guess this is officially Wednesday.
I went up and got Mom's truck, brought it back, loaded it (which included about 9 trips up the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment. Got back to Mom's, unloaded it, and ran some errands with her. I also got on her exercise bike for about 10 mins today just to try it out and get in some "official" exercise. I got back home about 4pm, cooked dinner and ate about 4:45pm, crashed and died at 5pm and slept til 7pm. Got up, showered, went dumpster diving and got some more boxes, went to Target and did a little shopping, bought some Oscar Mayer deli shaved turkey breast, came home and ate a sandwich about 9pm along with some chips and salsa. Got my 2nd wind, loaded up my car with stuff to take to Mom's tomorrow, brought all of the boxes up that I scavenged for tonight (all of this together was about 7 or 8 more trips up the stairs), packed boxes until about 15 mins ago, and now I'm completely exhausted. It's been a busy day.
Everything on my body aches right now. I am REALLY hoping I can move when I wake up in a few hours. I plan to get a lot more done tomorrow. I like the feeling of being active way more than being sedentary. It hurts like crap, but it feels good at the same time. It's good for the mind....keeps the depression away.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1931
Carbs 205
Fat 45
Protein 134
I ate at a fast food restaurant today.....gasp! I had been at mom's too long and was starving when I left. My little niece Carla kept saying she wanted Chinese for lunch.....then she wanted some Krystal's.....I knew I needed to get the heck out of there, but all of that food sounded good and I was so friggin' hungry. My friend Chris had mentioned to me before that if I get stuck out and I'm starving, that besides Subway, Taco Bell is a decent option if you get something like the grilled chicken soft tacos. The Taco Bell was closer than the Subway so that's where I went. When I pulled up to the drive-thru they had a new Fresco menu there and it listed the calories and the fat grams right on the sign. That was helpful. I ordered 1 grilled chicken soft taco with no cheese, and I ordered a steak burrito supreme off the Fresco menu. The burrito was 330 calories and 8g of fat. When I got home I checked the nutrition stats on the chicken soft taco...I think it was 170....so altogether lunch was 500 calories. I also checked the sodium, and surprisingly, it wasn't too bad either. Even after I ate those 2 items though.....I was still SO hungry....it felt like I had eaten a little appetizer.
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
3 egg whites
Sauteed onions & mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Taco Bell Fresco Steak Burrito Supreme
Taco Bell Grilled Chicken Soft Taco
Stir fry shrimp & baby scallops w/ broccoli, onions & mushrooms
Turkey sandwich on sourdough w/ tomato, onion, lite mayo & lite Italian dressing
Baked Scoops and fresh salsa
1 Coke
1 glass of tea, mixed 2/3 unsweet, 1/3 sweet
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
8 glasses of water
1/2 of a 3 Musketeers bar (130 calories)
Pam emailed me with a quote for my blog, I really like it. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." -Colin Powell
Our search for a rental house is over. We're renting the house next door to my parents. They own both houses. We're getting a great deal and we're really looking forward to it. Thanks Mom and Dad!! I have been going from 7:30 this morning til, well, 1:30 the next morning....I guess this is officially Wednesday.
I went up and got Mom's truck, brought it back, loaded it (which included about 9 trips up the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment. Got back to Mom's, unloaded it, and ran some errands with her. I also got on her exercise bike for about 10 mins today just to try it out and get in some "official" exercise. I got back home about 4pm, cooked dinner and ate about 4:45pm, crashed and died at 5pm and slept til 7pm. Got up, showered, went dumpster diving and got some more boxes, went to Target and did a little shopping, bought some Oscar Mayer deli shaved turkey breast, came home and ate a sandwich about 9pm along with some chips and salsa. Got my 2nd wind, loaded up my car with stuff to take to Mom's tomorrow, brought all of the boxes up that I scavenged for tonight (all of this together was about 7 or 8 more trips up the stairs), packed boxes until about 15 mins ago, and now I'm completely exhausted. It's been a busy day.
Everything on my body aches right now. I am REALLY hoping I can move when I wake up in a few hours. I plan to get a lot more done tomorrow. I like the feeling of being active way more than being sedentary. It hurts like crap, but it feels good at the same time. It's good for the mind....keeps the depression away.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1931
Carbs 205
Fat 45
Protein 134
I ate at a fast food restaurant today.....gasp! I had been at mom's too long and was starving when I left. My little niece Carla kept saying she wanted Chinese for lunch.....then she wanted some Krystal's.....I knew I needed to get the heck out of there, but all of that food sounded good and I was so friggin' hungry. My friend Chris had mentioned to me before that if I get stuck out and I'm starving, that besides Subway, Taco Bell is a decent option if you get something like the grilled chicken soft tacos. The Taco Bell was closer than the Subway so that's where I went. When I pulled up to the drive-thru they had a new Fresco menu there and it listed the calories and the fat grams right on the sign. That was helpful. I ordered 1 grilled chicken soft taco with no cheese, and I ordered a steak burrito supreme off the Fresco menu. The burrito was 330 calories and 8g of fat. When I got home I checked the nutrition stats on the chicken soft taco...I think it was 170....so altogether lunch was 500 calories. I also checked the sodium, and surprisingly, it wasn't too bad either. Even after I ate those 2 items though.....I was still SO hungry....it felt like I had eaten a little appetizer.
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
3 egg whites
Sauteed onions & mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Taco Bell Fresco Steak Burrito Supreme
Taco Bell Grilled Chicken Soft Taco
Stir fry shrimp & baby scallops w/ broccoli, onions & mushrooms
Turkey sandwich on sourdough w/ tomato, onion, lite mayo & lite Italian dressing
Baked Scoops and fresh salsa
1 Coke
1 glass of tea, mixed 2/3 unsweet, 1/3 sweet
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
8 glasses of water
1/2 of a 3 Musketeers bar (130 calories)
Pam emailed me with a quote for my blog, I really like it. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." -Colin Powell
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