Oh The Shame!!!!

I decided that Friday's are just too busy for me to post my weigh-in, so from now on I'll be doing it at night like all of my other posts.

I weighed 239 lbs. this morning for a 6 lb. GAIN. Wow. Double Wow. Bummer.

So....the goals for this coming week are.

1. 1500 calories a day, EVERY DAY! (No more easy breezy weekends!)

2. I said 6 mi at the park last night, but I think that's still too hard for me, so I'm doing 5 miles of walking at the park each day.

3. Lots of water...but this has never been an issue. I love water.

4. Try 3 new recipes to keep things interesting and post pics of them.

Today has been great!! I allotted 500 calories for dinner, and Dwayne and I had baked chicken wings w/ some bbq sauce on them that we bought in Cherokee...it was awesome! And we had a side of baked fries. Total calorie count for the day is 1498, I've had (3) 32 oz. glasses of water, and I hammered out 5 miles at the park today.

As a side note, when I got back to the car after doing my walk, I took off my shoes to look at my toes because they were hurting SO bad. My regular blisters have turned into blood blisters and they busted....ewwwwww. No more putting off new shoes. I've put it off for 4 months now and suffered through the pain due to the unemployment. I'm not sure which bill is going to take the blow from my purchase, but Dwayne and I are heading out tomorrow to pick up a new pair of New Balance walking shoes for me. I no longer care how much they cost...I'm buying them. I have diabetes and must take care of my feet. It's just too important.

For anyone who is considering taking the weekend off from calorie counting or weight watching, my advice to you is this: DON'T DO IT!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!! For pete's sake....a 6 pound gain!!!! I, my friends, am a loser. Big time. However, I'm going to work my buns off this week to make SURE I'm a winner next week...and the week after that!! I really need to get this consistency thing down pat. I want it to be second nature for me, just like it is with Sean. He just does it. It's not a chore...he's not pressured by counting them...he just does it. Consistently. Day after day, week after week. And he loses every single weigh-in.

One more thing. This isn't really a major thing, and probably really stupid to some people, but it's kind of important to me. I've said a couple of times that the reason I set the 10 lb/mo goal for myself is to give me something to strive for each month. I've missed it the last 2 months by a little bit, but if I would have made my monthly goal only 5 lbs, look how bad it would have been! I've got it at 10 lbs for a reason...to make me work harder.

With no goal, I'm a flounderer. That's not just with weight loss....that's in everything for me that's goal-oriented. That's the cool thing about working in Accounting. It's constant, insane, can't-possibly-get-it-done-in-time deadlines. I'm happy to say that where my jobs have been concerned, I have never missed a deadline. Not one time. I get a certain adrenaline rush from something like that. It's just the way my brain works.

You all know that I have a reward system set up for myself to add a little fun into my travels. I did that because when I first started, I had 92 lbs. to lose. That was pretty daunting, so I figured adding in some little rewards for every 15 lbs. lost was a great idea. After I set that up, I realized that I wanted a BIG reward at the end, for when I finally lost ALL 92 POUNDS!! Dwayne decided one night that since we both love the beach so much, that my big reward at the end would be a 7 day trip to Destin, FL for me, him and Scarlette. I couldn't think of anything more perfect.

Well....when he told me at the beginning of the week that he's fixing to be laid off soon, he also told me with a heavy heart, that we won't be able to go to Destin now. It's just too expensive. Of course I told him that was perfectly fine...that Destin doesn't matter to me....that what matters is that we both end up with good jobs again and get our finances back on track.

But just between you and me (meaning, all of Blogland, lol)...a big reward at the end DOES matter to me. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive, but I want it to be something special. I used to weigh 340 lbs. When I get to 180, my goal weight, I want to celebrate it!! I'm sending out a plea to all of you for any ideas on what I can make the reward. I'm not very creative....but I've already noticed this week that losing my focus on the big reward at the end has played into my complacency.

Before, when I was pounding out 6 miles on the track and hurting like hell, I'd just tell myself, "Think about Destin Tammy...you're less than 60 lbs away from it...think about Destin...palm trees, ocean breeze, sand and surf, tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them, Dwayne and Scarlette and no phone for 7 whole days, get those buns moving girl!" That's the kind of thing that works for me. I know some say that losing the weight should be reward enough. And it is in a way...but I can't help it. Call me selfish. I want something tangible to shoot for...something that signifies all of my hard work and dedication. Something to focus on and reach for while I chisel away at these last "few" pounds.

So...let me hear it! Send some ideas my way...I'm sure something will spark my interest! I've got to lose 6 friggin' lbs this week JUST to break even with last week and get back to 233. Grrrrrrrr! Onward!!

Quote For the Day:

"You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there." -Unknown Author

Complaziness

I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first? The good news, of course!

My mom and I got over the argument and everything's back to normal now. She didn't feel like it was that big of a deal in the first place, so that made me feel even better. Things are always a bigger deal to me than anyone else because I'm so emotional.

Dwayne called me today from work on his lunch break and we talked about 45 minutes. He's not pulling away this time! I can't tell you what a relief that is. He's looking forward to a good weekend with me and Scarlette and will be here tomorrow evening after work, just like normal.

The bad news is, I got on the scale tonight to see what kind of damage the retarded eating from last Fri, Sat and Sun was going to cost me. My official weigh-in is tomorrow morning, but today it said 240 lbs. I was 233 lbs last Friday. That's a 7 lb. gain, but I will say that I've been known to lose up to 5 lbs overnight after all the bodily functions have been taken care of. Even if that happened, I'm still up a couple of pounds. Now here's the REALLY bad news. I had way too much sodium today. Didn't go crazy on the volume or calories, but what I did eat was just too damn salty. As if a 2-3 lb gain weren't enough already, I didn't pay close enough attention to what I was doing today.

I got to thinking about how retarded that is. Normally, the day before my weigh-in is the strictest day of the week for me. I watch everything like a hawk. Not today. I wasn't stressing over it like I normally do. I don't want to say I didn't care, but it's almost like that. Hmmmmmm. Time for some reflection here. What the hell is going on with me?

I've decided I've become complacent with the weight loss. I think because I'm 4 months into it, the new has worn off, the calorie counting is getting tedious, and some days I just feel like "winging it". Some people call it complacent. For me, I'm going to call it laziness. Thus the title of this post...a combination of the two...complaziness.

Bottom line is, I don't like it and I don't want to stay this way. So that means I need to find a way to nuke the boredom, even if it's just a small change or two. My one main goal for this coming week is to work on the consistency. I noticed that nearly every month, I have 2 pretty big losses, and 2 gains. And it's entirely my fault. It's because I suck in the consistency department. That bugs me. I would really like to see a loss, no matter how big or small, but an actual LOSS 2-3 weeks in a row. That is my next goal.

I'm also going to try some new recipes this week. At least 3 new ones, and to hold me accountable to that, I'm going to take pics of them and post them on my blog, no matter how they turn out. I've got a few different healthy eating recipe magazines and books now so there's no reason not to take a little time to sit down and prepare for my coming week. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow with the $85 that Shane gave me, so I'm going to pick out my recipes, and make my list.

I'm thinking about something else. I'm thinking that I may have also screwed myself this week by cutting back on the exercise. Last week I walked nearly 6 miles every day, but I was really hurting. This week I cut it back to 4 miles a day...and I think I'm suffering from it. So next week it's back up to 6 miles, with making sure I have one rest day in the middle...probably Monday.

So that's it for tonight. I'm going to really HATE posting my weigh-in tomorrow morning. This one feels like the worst one yet. But...it's like Abby said on the Biggest Loser show this week..."this is a marathon...not a sprint". My biggest concern is trying to stay on course, and when things aren't going right, stay after it...figure it out...change things up...whatever I have to do to get to that goal. I really love that I'm learning so much along the way. This has never happened any previous time I lost weight. I'm really doing it the right way this time....working out the kinks as I go. I'm doing something that I'll be able to maintain for life and that just thrills me!

I'm off to find some recipes.....I'll be back in the morning with my head hung in shame and 'fessing up.

Quote For the Day:

"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something." -Carl Sandburg

...The Ones We Love The Most

Short post. I just got done having a pretty intense argument with my mom. I can't think of a worse person in the entire world to have a fight with. It leaves me so emotionally and mentally drained. Then when she leaves, the anger is replaced with a flood of tears because feelings have been hurt on both sides. And we all know you can't take back words. It wasn't nasty....we weren't calling each other names or anything like that. That never happens. But it was impassioned on both sides. She was looking at me like I was nuts, and I afforded her the same reaction with her side of the argument. She is one of the most important people in my life (along with Dad), and yet we disagree on so, so much in life. Views, opinions, beliefs. I hate it when this sh*t happens. It's not often, but when it does happen, it takes a lot out of me. I'm going to bed early tonight. The sooner I fall asleep, the sooner I can stop thinking about it. At least for today. As everyone knows from last night's post, things have been pretty rough on a lot of different fronts for quite a while now. I could really use a little sunshine.

I ate 1500 calories today and walked 4 miles at the park. Let's hope for a better tomorrow. 'Nite all.

Quote For the Day:

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." -Benjamin Franklin

Kiss My Grit(s)

When I was a kid, there was a show on TV that I loved. It was called "Alice". She was a waitress in a diner, a single mom with a son named Tommy, and had 2 co-workers (waitresses), named Vera and Flo. My favorite was Flo. She had this real thick, twangy accent and was always spitting out these funny, witty quips. Mel was the owner of the diner and he did all the cooking. Whenever he would smart off to Flo she'd say, "Mel.....KISS MY GRITS!". I think that's my favorite phrase of all time. But that's not the kind of grits I'm talking about in this post...it's just the reason I added the "s" at the end of the post title. :)



I got some stressful news today. Everyone should know by now that I'm unemployed, and have been for 7 long months. They shipped my Accounting office from Atlanta to the corporate office in Nebraska. They flat out told us it was cheaper to hire people in Omaha than Atlanta. Alrighty then. So much for steady income, following a budget, health insurance, tuition reimbursement, sanity, etc. It's been a rough, highly stressful and downright depressing time since then.



Today Dwayne called me and told me that he's getting laid off too. He doesn't know exactly when but his boss called him in the office and told him that the Big Guy said he had to start laying off people. He has to let 2 go this week. Dwayne is a Team Lead in the Quality Assurance department for HP......a department that only has 9 Quality Assurance employees in this office. So sometime between this week and the next couple of months, they're all going to be gone. Fun times.



Now I know that being laid off is a stressful thing for ANYONE to go through. It totally sucks, no matter who you are. For Dwayne and I, as far as our relationship goes, it's going to be even more stressful. Our finances are not tied together, but he was MORE than generous by helping me out each month when I lived at the apartment that I moved from a month ago. After my unemployment check (what a joke!), he gave me whatever I needed to meet my bills so that everything was paid, and on time. It was usually around $200/mo...some months $300. He paid for every single thing Scarlette needed during that time as well....dog food, vet bills, medicines, etc. When I moved, my rent dropped, so I told him to just let me do it on my own, that the guilt of him helping me financially was killing me.



To say things are tight for me is an understatement. But the burden of him helping to pay my way was lifted, and I'm glad of that. Now, that he's losing HIS job, the guilt of knowing his bank account is SO depleted from all the help he gave me is just overwhelming. I want to hide under a rock. And I don't have any way to help HIM, or give any of it back, because I'm STILL unemployed.



Him losing his job has no bearing on me financially.....he pays his bills, I'm now paying all of mine on my own, and we don't live together. However, relationship-wise, this has the potential to be a real train wreck. I say this because we've been together for 5 years. I know him like the back of my hand, and I know how he reacts to stressful situations or things taking a wrong turn in his life. NOT GOOD.



Dwayne is extremely private and introverted when it comes to emotional/stressful/negative crap. Not your typical guy stuff....guys don't show their emotions...and all that. I mean he completely shuts down. He shuts me out of his life til the storm passes. He stays home. He doesn't go out. He doesn't call. He doesn't do anything but focus on the problem until he's found a way to solve it. I cease to exist in his life. This sounds overly dramatic but I am soooo not kidding you. We've been through this before.....trust me....it gets bad.



The only hope I have here is that it's been a couple of years since anything this major has happened to him. We've grown a LOT closer in these last couple of years and a lot more committed to each other. I'm hoping that will keep him from pulling away this time. I don't want to be shut out. I don't want to deal with that pain.



I've had this on my mind all day....trying to figure out how to deal with the unforeseeable. I've been trying to remain positive in my mind and hope for the best, but when you know someone's track record, that can be hard to do. It didn't take me long to get around to thinking about how I was going to let this affect my eating/exercise if things don't go the way I hope. I don't want to get down, or depressed or lose the communication with him. He is my rock. But what if I do? Then what? How will I deal with it?



I forced myself to take my mind off the immediate problem and look at the broader scope. What all has happened in my life since I made The Decision to get the weight off for the last time, and how did I cope?



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I was unemployed for 3.5 months when I started and had cut groceries out of my budget completely. We were living on what Shane could contribute for groceries, which was $85 every 2 weeks. That's $42.50 a week for 2 people.



I was still grieving over my dear, precious grandmother who had passed away just a month earlier.



Shortly after starting this blog in June, I lost 3 important friendships all in the same week.



I've had a multitude of family issues that I have kept out of my blog out of respect for their privacy.



I've had some dire financial problems....things that were outside of my normal living expenses like paying rent and keeping the lights on (the stuff Dwayne was helping me with).



Shane (my roommate) has a seriously ill father. He's in very bad health with diabetes, high blood pressure and major heart problems. He's already had 5 heart attacks and a stroke. He is literally back and forth to the hospital at least once a month, and each time we get the call, we wonder if this is going to be the last one.



A couple of months ago, my 17 year old car crapped out on me. I had to fix 4 or 5 things at once, to the tune of $900. Bye-bye savings account.



I have been consumed for the last month or so over the fact that my biological daughter that I adopted out when I was a teenager will be turning 18 next month.

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How has all of this affected my weight loss and exercise? I've lost 39 lbs. in 4 months and I've exercised pretty much the entire time. That's how. And that's exactly how I will respond to this next speed bump. In looking back on my journey thus far, I discovered some things about myself today.



I have a determination that I've never known before. I have a resolve that cannot be broken. Maybe shook up a little bit, like it was a couple of weeks ago when I had 2 days of bingeing over thoughts about Brittany, but not broken. Even when I've slipped along the way....even then....I haven't given up. I haven't quit.



I am finding out just how strong I really am. I'm finding out the true meaning of perseverance. I know what it is to put the blinders on, bust my ass, and get the result I'm looking for. Before I decided to change my life to a healthier one, if something went wrong for me, you would find me face down in a cheesecake. Or doing some serious damage to a 5 lb. pork roast. Or drowning myself with a 2 liter bottle of Coke. Not anymore. Never again. Never.



I know too much to turn back now. I've come too far. I know what I want, and I can't let "life" get in the way. I'm trying to teach myself how to compartmentalize with my emotions. I'm trying to learn how to keep the emotional, stressful crap far, far away from the eating choices. I never want them to mix again. I never want the one to affect the other.



I may be crying while I'm jogging this fat a$$ around the trail....but by grannies, at least I'm moving! At least I'm getting out there and getting it done! I have what it takes to reach my goals....every single one of them. It is within me, and I'm so glad I've discovered it.



I have what it takes to withstand the storms...to clench my teeth and clench my fists....to put my head down and plow through the bullsh*t....to grind it out, day in and day out, doing what needs to be done. I've got determination. I've got perseverance. I've got resolve. I've got stamina. I've got endurance. I've got my mind my made up. I've got....grit.



I did some more jogging at the park today and knocked another 2 minutes off my time. I did 4 miles in 1 hr 1 min today. I'm sitting pretty at 1500 calories. And while watching the BL tonight, I decided it was time to add in the free weights. I dug my 10 lb. weights out of the back of my closet, knocked off the dust, and did 65 reps targeting the underside of my upper arm (a.k.a. bat wings). I'm on the road to freedom. I'm on my way to realizing my dream of a healthier, thinner, fitter me. Skinny Tammy is rocking it out and it can only get better from here, no matter what life wants to throw at me. I say...BRING IT!!!



Quote For the Day:



"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win." -Roger Bannister

Just Not Feelin' It

Short post. I'm exhausted today for some reason...been dragging all day long. I walked 4 miles at the park, and for the first time ever, added some intermittent jogging because there was nobody on the trail to hear my stomach slapping, clapping and flapping against my upper thighs. It usually takes me 1 hr 15 min to walk 4 miles...today it took 1 hr 3 min, so I managed to knock 12 min off my time. That was cool. I got my big pot of veggie soup made, so that's what I'll be eating all day tomorrow. Gotta' get things back on track or I'm going to be hating myself by Friday. My eyes are closing as I type this so I'm off to bed. Onward.

Weekend What-Nots

I'm going to tell you what NOT to do with your weekend eating. Don't do what Tammy did this weekend. :)

I decided to take the weekend off from calorie counting. Wasn't feeling too tired or stressed or anything like that. I was, and am, feeling pretty good actually. While I fully advocate calorie counting, because with 39 lbs. lost, I am proof that IT WORKS, it does get a little tedious sometimes and I decided to let it go and forget about it until Monday morning. However, I do not recommend this if you're looking for a big loss that week, lol.

I said I wasn't going to mention Dwayne anymore in regards to my weekend eating, but apparently I lied, lol. The reason I want to mention him tonight is because it's POSITIVE as far as he's concerned. He offered me good choices, and I chose the bad ones. But he at least deserves the credit for TRYING to provide me with some healthy options, all on his own, with no input from me. I'm proud of him for caring. :)

Dwayne called me Friday afternoon and said he was getting off early and he'd be at my house around 3:30pm. Uh oh. I didn't have anything planned for dinner that he would eat. I had already decided that this was going to be an easy breezy weekend, so I texted him and asked if he wanted to go out to dinner at a restaurant. I had about 400 calories left for the day (once you've counted them for 4 months, it just kind of automatically happens in your head, even though I didn't write anything down). He said he wanted to grill out at the house and he'd stop and pick something up. I said okay, and didn't even ask him what he was getting....didn't care...it was my carefree weekend.

When he got here, he was so excited and proud of himself for thinking about me. Granted, they weren't ALL healthy options (he still had to eat, too), but there WERE some options specifically for me. He brought in a 4 pack of N.Y. strip steaks that were absolutely gorgeous. Also, for me he said, some boneless skinless chicken breasts. I told him I'd rather have steak....that it had been a while. He also brought in a Caesar salad kit (he thinks this is "healthy", and it's the only veggies he eats, because he can handle lettuce as long as you smother it in parmesan cheese, crunchy croutons, and fattening Caesar dressing, lol). I had a bowl of salad. Then he very proudly presented me with a bag of raw pre-cut veggies...broccoli, carrots & cauliflower. He said, "Look baby! It says that you can steam them right in the bag!" I thanked him profusely, and then proceeded to eat 1/2 the bag raw....with a side of ranch dressing. Doh! Then he pulled out a mini loaf of french bread. He was proud because it was a "mini" loaf....and not the 3 ft. long one he usually gets. I ate 4 slices. Then he pulled out 6 ears of fresh corn and a small bowl of watermelon. I don't usually eat corn on the cob because it gets stuck in my teeth and drives me nuts. So I passed on that, and we grilled up 2 ears for him. I ate about 1/2 c. of watermelon, he did the same, and then we threw it away because it's out of season now and just didn't taste very good.

All in all, I'd say my honey bunny did pretty damn good. I'm glad he's paying such close attention to my (usually) healthier eating choices these days, even though I never try to push any of it on him. That really makes me happy. :)

I also decided to ease off on the exercise this week. I walked 6 miles a day most days last week, and while it helped me reach a nearly 5 lb loss, my hip and leg joints were in some serious pain. I kept thinking about Diane at "Fit to the Finish" all last week while I was out pushing myself at the park. She did a post a little while ago asking if you could sustain the exercise that you're doing. Is what you're doing now to lose the weight, something you can continue, and are willing to continue to do once you reach maintenance? With the pain of my hip and leg joints grinding with every step, my answer to that was an emphathic "NO!". So this week I'm going easier on the exercise.

I walked 3 miles on Friday and that was it for the day. On to Saturday....I had a banana and then headed to the park. I walked 3.5 miles and came back home. I was in so, so much pain....after only 3.5 miles!!! I was talking to Dwayne about it and he asked me when my rest day was. Rest day? What's that? lol I told him I was on my 8th day straight of walking and he told me not to do any on Sunday. So I didn't walk today....I thought about it all day, and I really wanted to run out to the park 4 or 5 different times, but I didn't. I've had one whole day with no exercise.

Back to Saturday's eating....when I got back from the park I did some things around the house, and then around 11:30, I made a sandwich with 2 scrambled eggs & lite mayo on multi-grain sourdough bread from the Publix bakery. It was fantastic. A couple of hours later I ate a 3 oz piece of steak from the night before. We had a birthday cookout to go to with the family at the park, and I was asked to make potato salad (Mom's recipe) and baked mac 'n' chz (Grandma's recipe). So I did. I ate a cup of the potato salad after I got it made, before we ever made it out the door (taste-testing, of course). At the park, I ate a hamburger w/ a slice of tomato, ketchup & mustard. I ate a hot dog w/ ketchup & mustard. And I ate a handful of chips & another cup of potato salad. By the time all that food hit my stomach, I was so full I thought I was going to die. I was truly miserable for the first time since I started this blog in June. OMG. I was happy...had a great day w/ family & Dwayne...but physically miserable. We came back home and I laid on the couch and cussed myself for a couple of hours until it started digesting and I could finally breathe again while sitting upright.

Dwayne left around 8pm and I asked my niece Carla (I call her Ladybug), who lives next door to me, if she wanted to come over and spend the night with Scarlette and I. We had a great time....she asked me 150,000 questions, as all inquisitive little 4-year olds do, and I gave her 150,000 answers. We decided to go shopping today. She kept saying how much she LOVED my fall decorations sitting around the house, so I told her we'd go out and find something for her bedroom today. We started at the Dollar Tree, and we ended up spending about $20 in there. She bought something for her, and for me, and for her grandma (Noni), and something else for her, and for her Mom, and another thing for her, and something for her little brother Cyress, and a few more things for her, and then we left. She was very, very happy and the smile on her face and her sweet laughter ringing in my ears was worth every single dollar. :)

I asked her where she'd like to go for lunch and in 2 seconds flat she exclaimed, "Chinese!!!". What can I say? It was my carefree eating weekend and the kid loves Chinese. Why not??!! So we ate at the Chinese buffet. One thing that I can say is that before I started trying to lose weight, I never ate any less than 2 plates at a buffet, Chinese or otherwise. Now, without even thinking about it, I ate one plate and that's it. Still....way too many calories in that one plate, and we won't even talk about the sodium. Good Lord. But we ate it and enjoyed each other's company...it was a great lunch with my little Ladybug.

After lunch, we went to Wal-mart. Mom had given me some money to pick up some more school clothes for Carla, and I had to pick up a few grocery items. So we got her 7 or 8 new things and then headed to the food section. In the spirit of Fall's arrival, I decided to try a new vegetable this week, so I bought a bag of parsnips. They look kind of like white carrots. I'll be making a big pot of soup tomorrow and throwing them in. I think I'll make Vegetable Beef. I don't have any ground chicken or ground turkey in my freezer right now, so I think I'll use a pack of the 93% lean ground beef that I have. I'm just not a big fan of veggie soup unless there's SOME kind of meat in it.

We got back home and showed Noni all of our purchases and then I came back home to play with Scarlette. I spent a couple of hours clipping coupons this afternoon and then took an hour and a half nap. I laid down too late, because when I woke up at 6:45p, I was starving to death and didn't have anything planned or cooked for dinner. This is another one of the dangers of a carefree eating weekend...no preparation! I decided I'd run out to Larry's Giant Subs and finish off my retarded eating with an 8" Italian sub. When I got there, they were closed. Now what? From the parking lot I was sitting in, I could look around and see about 5 different fast food restaurants. I don't know what's up with me, but as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, I think I am just OVER the fast food thing. It just doesn't sound good anymore....not even my all-time favorite, Krystal's.

Even after starting with the weight loss, I was still eating at Krystal's a good bit, and was just counting the calories in my daily 1500. They are a horrible caloric value. It takes about 5-6 of those little things to fill me up, and 6 of them are like 960 calories!!!! I think I got tired of wasting my calories that way....and also got tired of being a slave to those stupid little sodium-filled boxes of evil...and realized tonight I haven't eaten a Krystal in about a month. Awesome!!!! I can't believe it's been that long, but I'm proud of myself.

Anyhoo, not wanting fast food, I went on down to Publix and decided to get a 12" Italian sub there. I was going to finish off the weekend eating with a bang! They cut it in half, and wrapped up each half separately. I ate half of it in the car on the way home....starving! When I got home, I looked over at the other half, stopped to ask myself if I was still hungry, and I wasn't. Normally, I'm not a big fan of wasting food....but in a case like this, when it's an unhealthy, calorie-laden choice to start with, I decided to go ahead and throw it away so I wouldn't eat it later. And that's what I did. It's in the trash. That's another thing I wouldn't have done in the past. I would have eaten all of it at once, or at the very least, thrown it in the frig and came back in a couple of hours and finished it off. So even during my carefree weekend, I still saw a couple of small glimpses of progress. :)

I'm ready to make the next 4 days great ones with the eating and the exercise. I think I may have actually needed that day of rest from the exercise. As of right now, my lower back, my knees, my feet, and my joints do NOT hurt. What a blessing. I've got a pot of soup going on the stove right now. This will be lunches for Shane and I for the next couple of days. It's one of Pam's recipes and can be found on her food blog, "Lobster and Fishsticks". It's called Spicy Creamy Zucchini Soup. After she posted that recipe, she added another one where she turned the soup into a gravy and added chicken to it. That's what I'm doing. I've made it before and it is incredibly delicious. I just LOVE IT!!

Before I sign off I wanted to let you know about a couple of new bloggers in our little community. The first one is named Shaleen and I've added her to my blogroll. Her brand spanking new blog is called "The Very Long Journey....Diary of a Food Addict". Shaleen emailed me a few weeks ago and told me that she reads my blog every day. She said she finds it inspirational and wanted to lose some weight herself. Then she emailed me a few days ago and told me that she finally took the leap! She's made The Decision to get the weight off, and also decided to start her own blog in hopes of finding the same encouragement and support that I have. I hope you'll pop in and give her a warm welcome.

The second girl I want to tell you about is especially close to my heart. Her name is Billie and she's my rommate Shane's girlfriend. She's been following my blog for quite a while now. She's praised my losses along the way, and also made little comments like, "I'm just not dedicated and motivated enough to get the weight off". Well not anymore!! Billie also took the leap. She started losing a couple of weeks ago and has lost 8.5 lbs already!! She just set her blog up this weekend and I hope that you all will swing by her blog also and say hello. :) Her blog is called "Let The Skinny ME Out". Welcome to Blogland ladies!! Keeping a blog and posting often will help you with the accountability factor with your new healthy lifestyles. It also helps to know you're not alone on this journey. We're all in this together, we'll all claim our own victories in this battle!! Hope everyone has a week full of good choices. Onward!!

Quote For the Day:

"You may delay, but time will not." -Benjamin Franklin

Satisfied.....Almost

The scale says 233.0 this morning, so I lost 4.8 lbs. this week! The not-so-cool news is that this was the last week of the month for me, and I missed my 10 lb/mo. goal AGAIN!! I only lost 8.8 lbs. this month. I'm satisifed with the amount of 4.8 lbs for this one week, but not with the total amount of 8.8 lbs for the month. I'm not satisfied because I know I can do better....obviously. I had 2 weeks out of 4 where I had a slight gain.

I'm off to the park shortly to do some walking and then back home. I've got a small box of Fall decorations that I believe I'll put out today. This is my all-time favorite season, with winter being a close second. Christmas is my absolute most favorite holiday ever!!! I'm really looking forward to the cooler weather. It makes it so much nicer to walk in. Have a super duper day everyone!! :)