Just letting everyone know I'm still alive. I'm going to try to update you w/o making this a depressing post.
The last post I did garnered more comments than I've ever received before. I have no words that would be adequate enough to say thank you for the outpouring of support. I've also received a few emails from people who took the time to reach out to me on a more personal level. I'm amazed, and just so thankful. It doesn't matter to me that I've never met any of you face-to-face...you've been the best group of friends a girl could ever have. Hugs to each and everyone of you.
There's been some really retarded eating going on....shameful stuff. I hate reporting it, and to tell you the truth, I almost didn't. I considered the accountability factor for myself....and then said that's hogwash...I know what I've done...I don't need to go back and re-read it at any point to remind myself.
I'll tell you why I decided to lay it out there. It's to keep the honesty factor in this blog consistent. It helps to type out all the crap, it really does. It helps me mentally and emotionally to just spill my guts. It's like a release, and keeping all the junk bottled up can be toxic. At least for me.
The other reason I decided to go ahead and post about the last few days is because since I started this blog, I've gotten several emails from different people telling me that it inspires them and helps them feel like they're not alone. Even the negative fodder. I know all about feeling alone and it sucks. I'm not talking about relationship-wise. I'm talking about the solitude that comes with being overweight, or obese. Fat is an insulator. It blocks out a lot of things. I could do a whole in-depth post on this, and maybe I will one day, but if you're feeling alone inside you're obesity, then you totally get what I'm saying. So I decided to keep the honesty going in hopes that it might help someone else.
Let's back up to Friday. I weighed 222.4, satisfied that I lost 3.6 lbs with that weigh-in. I bragged about being .4 of a lb. away from losing 50 lbs., and that I was only 23 lbs. away from Onederland. My how things can change in a week....or only 5 days, actually.
Friday I overate, having Thanksgiving dinner at my parents and really not caring about portion control. In fact, I can't even say I really enjoyed it. It tasted great, sure, but I remember I was feeling zombie-like. I was heart-broken, had a 2-day headache going on, and was trying to concentrate on not breaking down in tears at the dinner table. I ate to the point of misery. It was odd. My stomach was poking out like a basketball and it was rock hard. I made my mom feel it. I haven't felt like that in a while....back before I started blogging, in fact.
Saturday was really bad. I didn't just overeat at one meal....I treated my body like a garbage disposal ALL DAY. Dwayne normally comes over on Friday nights and stays all day/evening on Saturday. It's been that way forever, and I was like a little girl lost with a full Saturday in front of me and no Dwayne. I had nothing to do but sit at home, cry, and eat. I knew I wasn't ready to go to the gym yet, simply because I couldn't control the crying (sobbing, really), and I didn't want people staring at me if I couldn't hold it together. But Billie asked me to go, so I did. I made it 30 mins on the treadmill, about 2 miles, and then the song "Kryptonite" came on my MP3 player and I just lost it. I kept walking, and crying, and by the time I hit 2.5 miles, I still couldn't get it dried up, so I told Billie I had to leave. We didn't stay to do the weight machines.
Sunday I told myself I needed to reign the calories back in, and started counting them again. But the desire just wasn't there. If this were a normal week, I would have eaten 1700, but I ended up at 1800 that day. Billie asked me to go to the gym again, and I did. This time I actually had a great workout. I made it all the way through the treadmill and the weight machines and back to my car before the tears fell again.
Monday, I went and got all of my hair chopped off. I thought a change would make me feel a little better. In a way it does, in a way it doesn't. I just hate my hair period. Hate it. It's very, very thin..constantly falling out and has been for years. I've heard it's because of my thyroid, then I heard it's because of the diabetes, and then I heard that I'm just unlucky. I heard all of that from 3 different doctors in the last few years, by the way. I put some Clairol Natural Instincts non-permanent hair color on it to cover the gray. Pam told me the exact color to get to match my natural color the best. I was thankful for that, because I didn't want to change the color....just cover the gray...and that's what it did. Back off the wagon with the food again though on Monday....I knew I needed to get a grip before things got too far out of hand, but truly, I just didn't care. I didn't feel like caring. That would have taken more effort than I could muster up. And I didn't go to the gym. Billie had to cancel and it was the perfect excuse for me to lay on the sofa with Scarlette and do nothing.
This morning, I had a dr's appt. I weighed myself before I went and just cried my eyes out. I got to the dr's ofc, and their scale said the exact same thing. 232 lbs. I've gained 10 lbs. in 4-5 days. No, it's not 10 lbs. of fat. Mother Nature dropped in for a Thanksgiving visit today, so I know some of it is bloating. Also, I've been eating a lot of stuff out of the freezer....easy stuff that you just heat in the microwave...and all of that crap food is loaded with sodium. I'm ballparking here, but maybe 5 lbs of water weight and 5 lbs of fat? Who knows.
It became very apparent to me today though that sad or not, it's time to separate the food from the emotions. It has to be done. The last thing I need is to gain my weight back. How stupid is that? Just when I think I can't feel any worse....and then I'm sabotaging my own self. I had already eaten 1600 calories today by 2pm when I made the decision to turn this around, so that's what time I stopped eating today. It's nearly 1am right now, as I'm typing this, and my stomach is growling. Haven't eaten in 11 hours and it sucks. However, I'm so shaky with the eating right now, that if I would have allowed myself 200 more calories this evening....I know just how easily it could have turned into 1,000.
Billie and I made it to the gym tonight, but I was late. I didn't get there til 8pm and she already had her cardio done, so we did the weight machines together. It took almost an hour. She left, and I got on the treadmill. I was 10 mins into my walk when they started turning lights off. That's when I realized they closed early tonight....at 9pm instead of 10pm. So my cardio was cut way short.
Billie and I are meeting at the gym tomorrow, sometime mid-morning. I'm going to do my best to keep everything in check and shoot for another 1600 calorie day. Let's hope I make it. Things really can turn on a dime for me right now. I do not have my focus back where it needs to be....I'm just grasping at it....making an effort.
I've been talking to Dwayne a little in email, but I'll save that for tomorrow's post, since this one is already ridiculously long. No, we're not getting back together. Can you believe we're discussing visitation rights over our puppy Scarlette??? Don't judge. You all know how crazy I am. Also, instead of having no Thanksgiving dinner to go to, I now have 2.....and one of them is at Dwayne's mom's house. I'll give you all the details tomorrow on how that came about. It's all about respect for his mom. Insanity.
You now know that Friday's weigh-in is going to completely suck, but I'm going to post it anyway. Honesty...and all that jazz. Thanks for reading about my crazy life. Maybe it will make yours feel a little more sane. :)
Showing posts with label Scarlette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scarlette. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Weekend What-Nots
I'm going to tell you what NOT to do with your weekend eating. Don't do what Tammy did this weekend. :)
I decided to take the weekend off from calorie counting. Wasn't feeling too tired or stressed or anything like that. I was, and am, feeling pretty good actually. While I fully advocate calorie counting, because with 39 lbs. lost, I am proof that IT WORKS, it does get a little tedious sometimes and I decided to let it go and forget about it until Monday morning. However, I do not recommend this if you're looking for a big loss that week, lol.
I said I wasn't going to mention Dwayne anymore in regards to my weekend eating, but apparently I lied, lol. The reason I want to mention him tonight is because it's POSITIVE as far as he's concerned. He offered me good choices, and I chose the bad ones. But he at least deserves the credit for TRYING to provide me with some healthy options, all on his own, with no input from me. I'm proud of him for caring. :)
Dwayne called me Friday afternoon and said he was getting off early and he'd be at my house around 3:30pm. Uh oh. I didn't have anything planned for dinner that he would eat. I had already decided that this was going to be an easy breezy weekend, so I texted him and asked if he wanted to go out to dinner at a restaurant. I had about 400 calories left for the day (once you've counted them for 4 months, it just kind of automatically happens in your head, even though I didn't write anything down). He said he wanted to grill out at the house and he'd stop and pick something up. I said okay, and didn't even ask him what he was getting....didn't care...it was my carefree weekend.
When he got here, he was so excited and proud of himself for thinking about me. Granted, they weren't ALL healthy options (he still had to eat, too), but there WERE some options specifically for me. He brought in a 4 pack of N.Y. strip steaks that were absolutely gorgeous. Also, for me he said, some boneless skinless chicken breasts. I told him I'd rather have steak....that it had been a while. He also brought in a Caesar salad kit (he thinks this is "healthy", and it's the only veggies he eats, because he can handle lettuce as long as you smother it in parmesan cheese, crunchy croutons, and fattening Caesar dressing, lol). I had a bowl of salad. Then he very proudly presented me with a bag of raw pre-cut veggies...broccoli, carrots & cauliflower. He said, "Look baby! It says that you can steam them right in the bag!" I thanked him profusely, and then proceeded to eat 1/2 the bag raw....with a side of ranch dressing. Doh! Then he pulled out a mini loaf of french bread. He was proud because it was a "mini" loaf....and not the 3 ft. long one he usually gets. I ate 4 slices. Then he pulled out 6 ears of fresh corn and a small bowl of watermelon. I don't usually eat corn on the cob because it gets stuck in my teeth and drives me nuts. So I passed on that, and we grilled up 2 ears for him. I ate about 1/2 c. of watermelon, he did the same, and then we threw it away because it's out of season now and just didn't taste very good.
All in all, I'd say my honey bunny did pretty damn good. I'm glad he's paying such close attention to my (usually) healthier eating choices these days, even though I never try to push any of it on him. That really makes me happy. :)
I also decided to ease off on the exercise this week. I walked 6 miles a day most days last week, and while it helped me reach a nearly 5 lb loss, my hip and leg joints were in some serious pain. I kept thinking about Diane at "Fit to the Finish" all last week while I was out pushing myself at the park. She did a post a little while ago asking if you could sustain the exercise that you're doing. Is what you're doing now to lose the weight, something you can continue, and are willing to continue to do once you reach maintenance? With the pain of my hip and leg joints grinding with every step, my answer to that was an emphathic "NO!". So this week I'm going easier on the exercise.
I walked 3 miles on Friday and that was it for the day. On to Saturday....I had a banana and then headed to the park. I walked 3.5 miles and came back home. I was in so, so much pain....after only 3.5 miles!!! I was talking to Dwayne about it and he asked me when my rest day was. Rest day? What's that? lol I told him I was on my 8th day straight of walking and he told me not to do any on Sunday. So I didn't walk today....I thought about it all day, and I really wanted to run out to the park 4 or 5 different times, but I didn't. I've had one whole day with no exercise.
Back to Saturday's eating....when I got back from the park I did some things around the house, and then around 11:30, I made a sandwich with 2 scrambled eggs & lite mayo on multi-grain sourdough bread from the Publix bakery. It was fantastic. A couple of hours later I ate a 3 oz piece of steak from the night before. We had a birthday cookout to go to with the family at the park, and I was asked to make potato salad (Mom's recipe) and baked mac 'n' chz (Grandma's recipe). So I did. I ate a cup of the potato salad after I got it made, before we ever made it out the door (taste-testing, of course). At the park, I ate a hamburger w/ a slice of tomato, ketchup & mustard. I ate a hot dog w/ ketchup & mustard. And I ate a handful of chips & another cup of potato salad. By the time all that food hit my stomach, I was so full I thought I was going to die. I was truly miserable for the first time since I started this blog in June. OMG. I was happy...had a great day w/ family & Dwayne...but physically miserable. We came back home and I laid on the couch and cussed myself for a couple of hours until it started digesting and I could finally breathe again while sitting upright.
Dwayne left around 8pm and I asked my niece Carla (I call her Ladybug), who lives next door to me, if she wanted to come over and spend the night with Scarlette and I. We had a great time....she asked me 150,000 questions, as all inquisitive little 4-year olds do, and I gave her 150,000 answers. We decided to go shopping today. She kept saying how much she LOVED my fall decorations sitting around the house, so I told her we'd go out and find something for her bedroom today. We started at the Dollar Tree, and we ended up spending about $20 in there. She bought something for her, and for me, and for her grandma (Noni), and something else for her, and for her Mom, and another thing for her, and something for her little brother Cyress, and a few more things for her, and then we left. She was very, very happy and the smile on her face and her sweet laughter ringing in my ears was worth every single dollar. :)
I asked her where she'd like to go for lunch and in 2 seconds flat she exclaimed, "Chinese!!!". What can I say? It was my carefree eating weekend and the kid loves Chinese. Why not??!! So we ate at the Chinese buffet. One thing that I can say is that before I started trying to lose weight, I never ate any less than 2 plates at a buffet, Chinese or otherwise. Now, without even thinking about it, I ate one plate and that's it. Still....way too many calories in that one plate, and we won't even talk about the sodium. Good Lord. But we ate it and enjoyed each other's company...it was a great lunch with my little Ladybug.
After lunch, we went to Wal-mart. Mom had given me some money to pick up some more school clothes for Carla, and I had to pick up a few grocery items. So we got her 7 or 8 new things and then headed to the food section. In the spirit of Fall's arrival, I decided to try a new vegetable this week, so I bought a bag of parsnips. They look kind of like white carrots. I'll be making a big pot of soup tomorrow and throwing them in. I think I'll make Vegetable Beef. I don't have any ground chicken or ground turkey in my freezer right now, so I think I'll use a pack of the 93% lean ground beef that I have. I'm just not a big fan of veggie soup unless there's SOME kind of meat in it.
We got back home and showed Noni all of our purchases and then I came back home to play with Scarlette. I spent a couple of hours clipping coupons this afternoon and then took an hour and a half nap. I laid down too late, because when I woke up at 6:45p, I was starving to death and didn't have anything planned or cooked for dinner. This is another one of the dangers of a carefree eating weekend...no preparation! I decided I'd run out to Larry's Giant Subs and finish off my retarded eating with an 8" Italian sub. When I got there, they were closed. Now what? From the parking lot I was sitting in, I could look around and see about 5 different fast food restaurants. I don't know what's up with me, but as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, I think I am just OVER the fast food thing. It just doesn't sound good anymore....not even my all-time favorite, Krystal's.
Even after starting with the weight loss, I was still eating at Krystal's a good bit, and was just counting the calories in my daily 1500. They are a horrible caloric value. It takes about 5-6 of those little things to fill me up, and 6 of them are like 960 calories!!!! I think I got tired of wasting my calories that way....and also got tired of being a slave to those stupid little sodium-filled boxes of evil...and realized tonight I haven't eaten a Krystal in about a month. Awesome!!!! I can't believe it's been that long, but I'm proud of myself.
Anyhoo, not wanting fast food, I went on down to Publix and decided to get a 12" Italian sub there. I was going to finish off the weekend eating with a bang! They cut it in half, and wrapped up each half separately. I ate half of it in the car on the way home....starving! When I got home, I looked over at the other half, stopped to ask myself if I was still hungry, and I wasn't. Normally, I'm not a big fan of wasting food....but in a case like this, when it's an unhealthy, calorie-laden choice to start with, I decided to go ahead and throw it away so I wouldn't eat it later. And that's what I did. It's in the trash. That's another thing I wouldn't have done in the past. I would have eaten all of it at once, or at the very least, thrown it in the frig and came back in a couple of hours and finished it off. So even during my carefree weekend, I still saw a couple of small glimpses of progress. :)
I'm ready to make the next 4 days great ones with the eating and the exercise. I think I may have actually needed that day of rest from the exercise. As of right now, my lower back, my knees, my feet, and my joints do NOT hurt. What a blessing. I've got a pot of soup going on the stove right now. This will be lunches for Shane and I for the next couple of days. It's one of Pam's recipes and can be found on her food blog, "Lobster and Fishsticks". It's called Spicy Creamy Zucchini Soup. After she posted that recipe, she added another one where she turned the soup into a gravy and added chicken to it. That's what I'm doing. I've made it before and it is incredibly delicious. I just LOVE IT!!
Before I sign off I wanted to let you know about a couple of new bloggers in our little community. The first one is named Shaleen and I've added her to my blogroll. Her brand spanking new blog is called "The Very Long Journey....Diary of a Food Addict". Shaleen emailed me a few weeks ago and told me that she reads my blog every day. She said she finds it inspirational and wanted to lose some weight herself. Then she emailed me a few days ago and told me that she finally took the leap! She's made The Decision to get the weight off, and also decided to start her own blog in hopes of finding the same encouragement and support that I have. I hope you'll pop in and give her a warm welcome.
The second girl I want to tell you about is especially close to my heart. Her name is Billie and she's my rommate Shane's girlfriend. She's been following my blog for quite a while now. She's praised my losses along the way, and also made little comments like, "I'm just not dedicated and motivated enough to get the weight off". Well not anymore!! Billie also took the leap. She started losing a couple of weeks ago and has lost 8.5 lbs already!! She just set her blog up this weekend and I hope that you all will swing by her blog also and say hello. :) Her blog is called "Let The Skinny ME Out". Welcome to Blogland ladies!! Keeping a blog and posting often will help you with the accountability factor with your new healthy lifestyles. It also helps to know you're not alone on this journey. We're all in this together, we'll all claim our own victories in this battle!! Hope everyone has a week full of good choices. Onward!!
Quote For the Day:
"You may delay, but time will not." -Benjamin Franklin
I decided to take the weekend off from calorie counting. Wasn't feeling too tired or stressed or anything like that. I was, and am, feeling pretty good actually. While I fully advocate calorie counting, because with 39 lbs. lost, I am proof that IT WORKS, it does get a little tedious sometimes and I decided to let it go and forget about it until Monday morning. However, I do not recommend this if you're looking for a big loss that week, lol.
I said I wasn't going to mention Dwayne anymore in regards to my weekend eating, but apparently I lied, lol. The reason I want to mention him tonight is because it's POSITIVE as far as he's concerned. He offered me good choices, and I chose the bad ones. But he at least deserves the credit for TRYING to provide me with some healthy options, all on his own, with no input from me. I'm proud of him for caring. :)
Dwayne called me Friday afternoon and said he was getting off early and he'd be at my house around 3:30pm. Uh oh. I didn't have anything planned for dinner that he would eat. I had already decided that this was going to be an easy breezy weekend, so I texted him and asked if he wanted to go out to dinner at a restaurant. I had about 400 calories left for the day (once you've counted them for 4 months, it just kind of automatically happens in your head, even though I didn't write anything down). He said he wanted to grill out at the house and he'd stop and pick something up. I said okay, and didn't even ask him what he was getting....didn't care...it was my carefree weekend.
When he got here, he was so excited and proud of himself for thinking about me. Granted, they weren't ALL healthy options (he still had to eat, too), but there WERE some options specifically for me. He brought in a 4 pack of N.Y. strip steaks that were absolutely gorgeous. Also, for me he said, some boneless skinless chicken breasts. I told him I'd rather have steak....that it had been a while. He also brought in a Caesar salad kit (he thinks this is "healthy", and it's the only veggies he eats, because he can handle lettuce as long as you smother it in parmesan cheese, crunchy croutons, and fattening Caesar dressing, lol). I had a bowl of salad. Then he very proudly presented me with a bag of raw pre-cut veggies...broccoli, carrots & cauliflower. He said, "Look baby! It says that you can steam them right in the bag!" I thanked him profusely, and then proceeded to eat 1/2 the bag raw....with a side of ranch dressing. Doh! Then he pulled out a mini loaf of french bread. He was proud because it was a "mini" loaf....and not the 3 ft. long one he usually gets. I ate 4 slices. Then he pulled out 6 ears of fresh corn and a small bowl of watermelon. I don't usually eat corn on the cob because it gets stuck in my teeth and drives me nuts. So I passed on that, and we grilled up 2 ears for him. I ate about 1/2 c. of watermelon, he did the same, and then we threw it away because it's out of season now and just didn't taste very good.
All in all, I'd say my honey bunny did pretty damn good. I'm glad he's paying such close attention to my (usually) healthier eating choices these days, even though I never try to push any of it on him. That really makes me happy. :)
I also decided to ease off on the exercise this week. I walked 6 miles a day most days last week, and while it helped me reach a nearly 5 lb loss, my hip and leg joints were in some serious pain. I kept thinking about Diane at "Fit to the Finish" all last week while I was out pushing myself at the park. She did a post a little while ago asking if you could sustain the exercise that you're doing. Is what you're doing now to lose the weight, something you can continue, and are willing to continue to do once you reach maintenance? With the pain of my hip and leg joints grinding with every step, my answer to that was an emphathic "NO!". So this week I'm going easier on the exercise.
I walked 3 miles on Friday and that was it for the day. On to Saturday....I had a banana and then headed to the park. I walked 3.5 miles and came back home. I was in so, so much pain....after only 3.5 miles!!! I was talking to Dwayne about it and he asked me when my rest day was. Rest day? What's that? lol I told him I was on my 8th day straight of walking and he told me not to do any on Sunday. So I didn't walk today....I thought about it all day, and I really wanted to run out to the park 4 or 5 different times, but I didn't. I've had one whole day with no exercise.
Back to Saturday's eating....when I got back from the park I did some things around the house, and then around 11:30, I made a sandwich with 2 scrambled eggs & lite mayo on multi-grain sourdough bread from the Publix bakery. It was fantastic. A couple of hours later I ate a 3 oz piece of steak from the night before. We had a birthday cookout to go to with the family at the park, and I was asked to make potato salad (Mom's recipe) and baked mac 'n' chz (Grandma's recipe). So I did. I ate a cup of the potato salad after I got it made, before we ever made it out the door (taste-testing, of course). At the park, I ate a hamburger w/ a slice of tomato, ketchup & mustard. I ate a hot dog w/ ketchup & mustard. And I ate a handful of chips & another cup of potato salad. By the time all that food hit my stomach, I was so full I thought I was going to die. I was truly miserable for the first time since I started this blog in June. OMG. I was happy...had a great day w/ family & Dwayne...but physically miserable. We came back home and I laid on the couch and cussed myself for a couple of hours until it started digesting and I could finally breathe again while sitting upright.
Dwayne left around 8pm and I asked my niece Carla (I call her Ladybug), who lives next door to me, if she wanted to come over and spend the night with Scarlette and I. We had a great time....she asked me 150,000 questions, as all inquisitive little 4-year olds do, and I gave her 150,000 answers. We decided to go shopping today. She kept saying how much she LOVED my fall decorations sitting around the house, so I told her we'd go out and find something for her bedroom today. We started at the Dollar Tree, and we ended up spending about $20 in there. She bought something for her, and for me, and for her grandma (Noni), and something else for her, and for her Mom, and another thing for her, and something for her little brother Cyress, and a few more things for her, and then we left. She was very, very happy and the smile on her face and her sweet laughter ringing in my ears was worth every single dollar. :)
I asked her where she'd like to go for lunch and in 2 seconds flat she exclaimed, "Chinese!!!". What can I say? It was my carefree eating weekend and the kid loves Chinese. Why not??!! So we ate at the Chinese buffet. One thing that I can say is that before I started trying to lose weight, I never ate any less than 2 plates at a buffet, Chinese or otherwise. Now, without even thinking about it, I ate one plate and that's it. Still....way too many calories in that one plate, and we won't even talk about the sodium. Good Lord. But we ate it and enjoyed each other's company...it was a great lunch with my little Ladybug.
After lunch, we went to Wal-mart. Mom had given me some money to pick up some more school clothes for Carla, and I had to pick up a few grocery items. So we got her 7 or 8 new things and then headed to the food section. In the spirit of Fall's arrival, I decided to try a new vegetable this week, so I bought a bag of parsnips. They look kind of like white carrots. I'll be making a big pot of soup tomorrow and throwing them in. I think I'll make Vegetable Beef. I don't have any ground chicken or ground turkey in my freezer right now, so I think I'll use a pack of the 93% lean ground beef that I have. I'm just not a big fan of veggie soup unless there's SOME kind of meat in it.
We got back home and showed Noni all of our purchases and then I came back home to play with Scarlette. I spent a couple of hours clipping coupons this afternoon and then took an hour and a half nap. I laid down too late, because when I woke up at 6:45p, I was starving to death and didn't have anything planned or cooked for dinner. This is another one of the dangers of a carefree eating weekend...no preparation! I decided I'd run out to Larry's Giant Subs and finish off my retarded eating with an 8" Italian sub. When I got there, they were closed. Now what? From the parking lot I was sitting in, I could look around and see about 5 different fast food restaurants. I don't know what's up with me, but as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, I think I am just OVER the fast food thing. It just doesn't sound good anymore....not even my all-time favorite, Krystal's.
Even after starting with the weight loss, I was still eating at Krystal's a good bit, and was just counting the calories in my daily 1500. They are a horrible caloric value. It takes about 5-6 of those little things to fill me up, and 6 of them are like 960 calories!!!! I think I got tired of wasting my calories that way....and also got tired of being a slave to those stupid little sodium-filled boxes of evil...and realized tonight I haven't eaten a Krystal in about a month. Awesome!!!! I can't believe it's been that long, but I'm proud of myself.
Anyhoo, not wanting fast food, I went on down to Publix and decided to get a 12" Italian sub there. I was going to finish off the weekend eating with a bang! They cut it in half, and wrapped up each half separately. I ate half of it in the car on the way home....starving! When I got home, I looked over at the other half, stopped to ask myself if I was still hungry, and I wasn't. Normally, I'm not a big fan of wasting food....but in a case like this, when it's an unhealthy, calorie-laden choice to start with, I decided to go ahead and throw it away so I wouldn't eat it later. And that's what I did. It's in the trash. That's another thing I wouldn't have done in the past. I would have eaten all of it at once, or at the very least, thrown it in the frig and came back in a couple of hours and finished it off. So even during my carefree weekend, I still saw a couple of small glimpses of progress. :)
I'm ready to make the next 4 days great ones with the eating and the exercise. I think I may have actually needed that day of rest from the exercise. As of right now, my lower back, my knees, my feet, and my joints do NOT hurt. What a blessing. I've got a pot of soup going on the stove right now. This will be lunches for Shane and I for the next couple of days. It's one of Pam's recipes and can be found on her food blog, "Lobster and Fishsticks". It's called Spicy Creamy Zucchini Soup. After she posted that recipe, she added another one where she turned the soup into a gravy and added chicken to it. That's what I'm doing. I've made it before and it is incredibly delicious. I just LOVE IT!!
Before I sign off I wanted to let you know about a couple of new bloggers in our little community. The first one is named Shaleen and I've added her to my blogroll. Her brand spanking new blog is called "The Very Long Journey....Diary of a Food Addict". Shaleen emailed me a few weeks ago and told me that she reads my blog every day. She said she finds it inspirational and wanted to lose some weight herself. Then she emailed me a few days ago and told me that she finally took the leap! She's made The Decision to get the weight off, and also decided to start her own blog in hopes of finding the same encouragement and support that I have. I hope you'll pop in and give her a warm welcome.
The second girl I want to tell you about is especially close to my heart. Her name is Billie and she's my rommate Shane's girlfriend. She's been following my blog for quite a while now. She's praised my losses along the way, and also made little comments like, "I'm just not dedicated and motivated enough to get the weight off". Well not anymore!! Billie also took the leap. She started losing a couple of weeks ago and has lost 8.5 lbs already!! She just set her blog up this weekend and I hope that you all will swing by her blog also and say hello. :) Her blog is called "Let The Skinny ME Out". Welcome to Blogland ladies!! Keeping a blog and posting often will help you with the accountability factor with your new healthy lifestyles. It also helps to know you're not alone on this journey. We're all in this together, we'll all claim our own victories in this battle!! Hope everyone has a week full of good choices. Onward!!
Quote For the Day:
"You may delay, but time will not." -Benjamin Franklin
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Soggy Saturday
For anyone who has been watching national news, then you know we had steady rain here in Georgia from Sunday through Tuesday of this past week and had some MAJOR flooding issues. I've had my fill of rain, BUT it rained again ALL DAY TODAY!! I had fully planned on walking at least 4 miles today, and hopefully 6 if I could talk Dwayne into going back to the park this afternoon. Well Dwayne's not big on exercise, and surely not in the rain, so I knew an afternoon walk wasn't going to happen. However, it was up to me to get out in the downpour and get at least 4 miles done today.
I did it!! It totally sucked, but I got 4 miles under my exercise belt today. I was completely soaked to the bone within the first 1/2 mile. It rained the entire time...it rained all day. I had 4 miles worth of gravel in my shoes when I got done, and 4 miles worth of blisters on my toes, but by golly I did it!
It's been a pretty decent weekend so far. I stayed within my calories yesterday, but today wasn't perfect. No bingeing or anything like that, just a little too much snacking. I went over my calories, albeit I did it with healthy snacks. I know that some people don't count calories for produce...fruit and veggies. I say whatever works for you, go for it!! But to me, a calorie is a calorie, no matter how you eat them. It doesn't matter if it's 1 Snickers bar or 5 bags of carrots, lol. No, I didn't eat 5 bags of carrots, but you get what I'm saying.
Nothing special planned for tomorrow. Meeting up with my roommate Shane and his g/f for breakfast tomorrow morning, then headed to the park to do my 4 mile walk. Lord, I hope it doesn't rain again tomorrow!!! It if it does, then I'll leave Scarlette at home when I do another 2 mile walk tomorrow evening...if not, I'll take my baby with me. She seems to be doing much better today. I'm thankful for that. It just breaks my heart to see my baby sick and not feeling good. I don't have any human children, so I have a completely unhealthy attachment to my puppy. Oh well......there are worse things in life. I just wish I could make her live forever. :)
Quote For the Day:
"The definition of insanity is continuing to do what you've always done and expecting different results." -Anonymous
I did it!! It totally sucked, but I got 4 miles under my exercise belt today. I was completely soaked to the bone within the first 1/2 mile. It rained the entire time...it rained all day. I had 4 miles worth of gravel in my shoes when I got done, and 4 miles worth of blisters on my toes, but by golly I did it!
It's been a pretty decent weekend so far. I stayed within my calories yesterday, but today wasn't perfect. No bingeing or anything like that, just a little too much snacking. I went over my calories, albeit I did it with healthy snacks. I know that some people don't count calories for produce...fruit and veggies. I say whatever works for you, go for it!! But to me, a calorie is a calorie, no matter how you eat them. It doesn't matter if it's 1 Snickers bar or 5 bags of carrots, lol. No, I didn't eat 5 bags of carrots, but you get what I'm saying.
Nothing special planned for tomorrow. Meeting up with my roommate Shane and his g/f for breakfast tomorrow morning, then headed to the park to do my 4 mile walk. Lord, I hope it doesn't rain again tomorrow!!! It if it does, then I'll leave Scarlette at home when I do another 2 mile walk tomorrow evening...if not, I'll take my baby with me. She seems to be doing much better today. I'm thankful for that. It just breaks my heart to see my baby sick and not feeling good. I don't have any human children, so I have a completely unhealthy attachment to my puppy. Oh well......there are worse things in life. I just wish I could make her live forever. :)
Quote For the Day:
"The definition of insanity is continuing to do what you've always done and expecting different results." -Anonymous
Friday, September 25, 2009
Frazzled Friday
Sorry!! I have never posted my weigh-in this late before!! The scale said 237.8 this morning for a gain of .8 of a lb. I've got one week left in my 4th month, and so far I've lost a total of 4 lbs in the last 3 weeks. To give you an idea of just how pathetic that is, Pam is over there kicking a$$ on her weight loss, losing like 14+ lbs this month!!!!! Dang it!! I gotta' get busy!!!
My precious little puppy Scarlette got sick right off the bat this morning. She had diarreah on Monday, but then seemed to be okay the last 3 days. Well this morning she yakked up 4 vomit piles on my livingroom rug and I freaked. I called the vet and made an appt, ran around and did all of my errands, met up with Dwayne and helped him with some stuff, and didn't make it back home until 8:30pm tonight. Been a crazy day.
The vet didn't really know what was wrong with Scarlette. He rubbed her tummy (feeling for sticks she might have eaten out in the yard), checked her stool for parasites, that was fine, checked her temp, that was fine, checked her weight, that was fine, gave her a shot, gave me 3 meds for nausea and diarreah, and finally told me she probably just ate the wrong kind of bug while outside playing. That's my baby....and that little assessment cost me $107! No biggie....I'd spend my last dollar on that baby if it meant keeping her in the best of health. I wish she would live forever.
So anyhoo, small gain this week. Due to my insanely busy day and nothing going as planned, I didn't make it to the park. My plan for tomorrow is to get up and hit the park and do 4 miles. Then I'm going to try and talk Dwayne into taking Scarlette with us back to the park tomorrow evening for a 2 mile walk. That's about all the baby's short little legs can handle. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! :)
My precious little puppy Scarlette got sick right off the bat this morning. She had diarreah on Monday, but then seemed to be okay the last 3 days. Well this morning she yakked up 4 vomit piles on my livingroom rug and I freaked. I called the vet and made an appt, ran around and did all of my errands, met up with Dwayne and helped him with some stuff, and didn't make it back home until 8:30pm tonight. Been a crazy day.
The vet didn't really know what was wrong with Scarlette. He rubbed her tummy (feeling for sticks she might have eaten out in the yard), checked her stool for parasites, that was fine, checked her temp, that was fine, checked her weight, that was fine, gave her a shot, gave me 3 meds for nausea and diarreah, and finally told me she probably just ate the wrong kind of bug while outside playing. That's my baby....and that little assessment cost me $107! No biggie....I'd spend my last dollar on that baby if it meant keeping her in the best of health. I wish she would live forever.
So anyhoo, small gain this week. Due to my insanely busy day and nothing going as planned, I didn't make it to the park. My plan for tomorrow is to get up and hit the park and do 4 miles. Then I'm going to try and talk Dwayne into taking Scarlette with us back to the park tomorrow evening for a 2 mile walk. That's about all the baby's short little legs can handle. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! :)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Weekend in Cherokee
I'm back!! Dwayne, Scarlette and I had a lovely little weekend getaway in Cherokee, NC. I'll tell you right off the bat the eating sucked, lol. I had 500 calories left for dinner when he got here on Friday afternoon to pick us up. I suggested Subway because I knew I could get a 6" turkey sub for 320 calories and still have 180 left for any snacking at the hotel that night.
Well....he didn't want Subway. He flat out said "no". He said we were going to Zaxby's. If you don't have a Zaxby's where you live, it's a fast food-type restaurant that specializes in fried chicken. Great. I could feel my stress level as well as my blood pressure rising, and I made the decision right then and there to let it go. I decided to not stress about anything all weekend.
We also didn't get to do the hike I was planning. Nothing I planned on doing happened, lol. But because I decided not to freak out over everything like I normally do, I ended up having a pleasant weekend anyway with Dwayne and my puppy. We did a little souvenir shopping. Dwayne bought me 2 hoodie sweatshirts, a pink bag, and a cap to wear at the park when I'm out walking in the rain. The front of the cap says, "Women who behave rarely make history". I like it. :)
Unfortunately, it rained the ENTIRE time we were there. We stopped and took a few pictures on the way into Cherokee at the Nantahala Outdoor Center, but once we got to Cherokee it was raining, and didn't let up the entire time. So we didn't get to go hiking, and we didn't get to grill out chicken like we were planning this time. But it was still a nice, relaxing weekend. :)
Here are a few pics from the trip:
Well....he didn't want Subway. He flat out said "no". He said we were going to Zaxby's. If you don't have a Zaxby's where you live, it's a fast food-type restaurant that specializes in fried chicken. Great. I could feel my stress level as well as my blood pressure rising, and I made the decision right then and there to let it go. I decided to not stress about anything all weekend.
We also didn't get to do the hike I was planning. Nothing I planned on doing happened, lol. But because I decided not to freak out over everything like I normally do, I ended up having a pleasant weekend anyway with Dwayne and my puppy. We did a little souvenir shopping. Dwayne bought me 2 hoodie sweatshirts, a pink bag, and a cap to wear at the park when I'm out walking in the rain. The front of the cap says, "Women who behave rarely make history". I like it. :)
We went to the casino for about an hour and a half, but it gets so smoky in there that we can't handle it for very long. It starts to burn your eyes. Dwayne got $100 out of the ATM, gave us each $50 to play with, but I only spent $20 and he spent $33. Just enough to have a little bit of fun, and then we headed back to the hotel to hang out with Scarlette. We stayed in a hotel that was built in the 60's. It's called the Pink Motel, and it's practically the cheapest thing in town. The reason we like staying there is not for the fabulous decor, lol. There is a river that runs right behind it, so you can go out your back door, grill out, sit at the picnic tables, and just relax watching the river flow.
Unfortunately, it rained the ENTIRE time we were there. We stopped and took a few pictures on the way into Cherokee at the Nantahala Outdoor Center, but once we got to Cherokee it was raining, and didn't let up the entire time. So we didn't get to go hiking, and we didn't get to grill out chicken like we were planning this time. But it was still a nice, relaxing weekend. :)
Here are a few pics from the trip:
Pam gave me the following Quote For The Day:
"Why say the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon?" -Anonymous
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Anxiety Bites
Short post tonight....I had one goal for this week...to break into the 230's. I was 242 lbs. last Friday morning, so I need a 3 lb. loss. Although I've done all the work to earn it this week, I'm afraid that since I want it so bad, it won't happen. I'm stressed to the max here, lol. Doing my best to keep the faith!!
It has rained every day here this week and precious Scarlette has tracked up my hardwood floors with muddy pawprints faster than I can keep them clean, so I'll be busy the rest of the night cleaning house. Woo hoo! Big fun at Tammy's house! lol I'll be back in the morning with the news. :)
P.S. Sarah, who goes by S. and can be found at "Ethereal Endeavor" on my bloglist, gave me a fantastic award today! It's called the Honest Scrap award and I proudly displayed it on my sidebar. Thank you so much Sarah...I'm truly honored! There are rules that go along with receiving this award, just as with other awards, and I have to pass it out to 10 more people. I've got so much cleaning to do tonight, that I just can't dedicate the time to choosing those people....I'm going out of town this weekend for a short getaway to the Smokey Mountains in Cherokee, NC. I will do my best to name my recipients tomorrow, but if not, definitely by next Monday! Stay tuned!
Quote For The Day:
"Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice and need." -Voltaire
It has rained every day here this week and precious Scarlette has tracked up my hardwood floors with muddy pawprints faster than I can keep them clean, so I'll be busy the rest of the night cleaning house. Woo hoo! Big fun at Tammy's house! lol I'll be back in the morning with the news. :)
P.S. Sarah, who goes by S. and can be found at "Ethereal Endeavor" on my bloglist, gave me a fantastic award today! It's called the Honest Scrap award and I proudly displayed it on my sidebar. Thank you so much Sarah...I'm truly honored! There are rules that go along with receiving this award, just as with other awards, and I have to pass it out to 10 more people. I've got so much cleaning to do tonight, that I just can't dedicate the time to choosing those people....I'm going out of town this weekend for a short getaway to the Smokey Mountains in Cherokee, NC. I will do my best to name my recipients tomorrow, but if not, definitely by next Monday! Stay tuned!
Quote For The Day:
"Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice and need." -Voltaire
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Momma's Sunshine
Instead of posting about my dread over tomorrow's weigh-in, I'll just tell you that I came in at 1460 calories today, and I walked 2 miles at the park. I could have walked another 2 or 3 miles tonight, but I chose not to. I've read so much about how hard workouts cause your muscles to retain a lot of water, and they're a bad idea to do right before a weigh-in.
Now I'm going to post some pics of my baby girl. It's hard to make them line up, so we'll just see how it turns out....
These are from last December when I first got her. She was 4 months old and weighed 4 lbs. Now she is a year old (birthday is Aug. 8th), and she weighs 9.5 lbs. She's a peekapoo and I just love her ears. I refuse to let them cut them much when I take her to the groomer. She's Momma's baby Ewok. :)
Now I'm going to post some pics of my baby girl. It's hard to make them line up, so we'll just see how it turns out....
These are from last December when I first got her. She was 4 months old and weighed 4 lbs. Now she is a year old (birthday is Aug. 8th), and she weighs 9.5 lbs. She's a peekapoo and I just love her ears. I refuse to let them cut them much when I take her to the groomer. She's Momma's baby Ewok. :)
Hope you enjoyed the pics. I'll be back in the morning with the weigh-in results. 'Nite nite everyone. :)
Quote For The Day:
Quote For The Day:
"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do'." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Ridin' The Crazy Train
I have a confession to make. I'm crazy. Certified. No doubt about it.
My life is crazy, my thoughts are crazy, my emotions are crazy, my no-job status is crazy, my lack of income is crazy, my mind is crazy....it's official. I'm riding the Crazy Train. I'd offer you a seat, but we're all filled up over here.
I could give you explicit details...but why bother. If you're anything like me, you already know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're nothing like me and lead a perfectly normal, peaceful, balanced happy life...then please don't tell me. I don't want to add insane jealousy to my already long list of insane emotions. I don't think I can handle one more ounce of crazy.
Everything that could possibly go wrong this week on all fronts of my life, has, with the exception of someone dying. And I hope I didn't just jinx myself by saying that. Please God, keep everyone in my life alive for at least another month so I won't think I just killed them with that last statement.
Thanks to all of you who left comments on last night's post....and for the ones who said I was pretty....gorgeous even (Shelley!)....it's time to make an appointment with your eye doctor. I was trying to type the official word for the "eye doctor" but I can't remember how to spell it right now. Crazy.
Scarlette....the one that I said is the light of my life....also happens to be the cause of much unnecessary stress and housework. Yesterday I told you there was dog sh*t tracked all over my house. She pooped in the hallway. I had just woke up, got dressed, shoes and all, and was taking her out to use the bathroom (Ha! what a joke...crazy, I know) when she apparently dropped a tootsie roll in the hallway on our way out the front door. When we came back in, and down the dark hallway (this was before dawn), I apparently stepped in it.
I found it about an hour later and noticed little tracks of it all over the floors, in every room. But I didn't see it on the bottom of her feet. That's because it was on the bottom of MY feet...my tennis shoes....both of them. Do you know how many geometric shapes, cracks, crevices, nooks and crannies are in the bottom of tennis shoes? I do. Because I had to spend 30 minutes using a wooden skewer and Lysol wipes digging shit out of each and every one of them. Then I got to spend the next 30 minutes bleaching all my floors. Did I mention I have bleach-induced asthma? Crazy.
There was much, much more to yesterday, but I'll spare you the rest of the horrid details. On to today.
The day started out good because as soon as I woke up, I threw on yesterday's clothes, my freshly Lysol'd tennis shoes, threw the dog in the crate, and escaped my house and sped to the park before anything could go wrong. I locked my purse and cell phone (I hate that crazy thing) in my trunk, and headed out for a peaceful 3 mile walk. It was nice. I came home feeling sore, but my mind was refreshed. I started thinking as I pulled back into my driveway that today just might turn out well (that was crazy talk).
Things started going downhill around 10am. Wow, that didn't take long. Again, I'll spare you the next few hours of details and fast forward to around 4:30pm when it came a flood. I had mentioned in last night's post that if the stars aligned right, I would try for a 2nd 3 mile walk this afternoon. Well....you know how crazy stars are. It started pouring outside, thundering and lightning, and naturally the dog indicated that she wanted to go out. I thought she had to go do her business.
I let her out, she played and splashed in the ever-growing puddles in the yard, found a few drowning bugs to munch on, and came running back in. Every morning and every evening there's dew on the grass and her little legs get soaked. We always come in and go straight to the bathroom where I keep the towel to dry her off. I take her out a lot, so we go through this ritual about 3x in the morning and another 3x at night. It's tedious, but I don't want her to run around with wet legs and get too cold, so I do it.
When I let her back in the house during the gully-washer, she followed me down the hall, through my bedroom, and into the bathroom. I shut the door behind her and looked down. She was covered in mud from her toes all the way up to her belly. She's pretty short and close to the ground, so this isn't hard to do. I don't know why, but for some reason it didn't occur to me that rain mixed with red Georgia dirt turns into red Georgia mud (crazy, I know).
I'm a clean freak, so I panicked. I tried to grab her as quickly as I could and she thought I was playing a game with her. She jumped out of the way of my grasp and danced all around my sparkling white bathroom. White linoleum, white bathtub....thank God my bathroom rugs are maroon/burgundy because she danced all over both of those, too. I bet there were 150 muddy paw prints on my floors and the side of my tub before I caught her. Stressed is not the word.
I decided to just bathe her right then. I stepped over into the garden tub, fully clothed, and I gave her a bath, washing her with my shampoo because her shampoo was all the way at the other end of the house. There was no way in hell we were tracking back through the house. I think I got wetter than she did. She hates baths. She's a wiry, wiggly little thing and it was quite a sight. She managed to splash and sling red mud ALL OVER my bathroom before I finally got her washed, rinsed and dried.
After all the fun of that, I got to go back through the house from the bathroom to the front door, on my hands and knees, and clean all the mud off the floors. Little clumps of mud don't mop very well, so this was a hands and knee job. Balancing 245 lbs of weight on 2 rickety kneecaps on hardwood floors is just crazy. And painful.
There was about an hour's worth of tears after that.....from all that has happened this week, not just the mud. I was deflated, depressed, disgusted, drowning and all I wanted to do was eat. Right about then, I looked out the window and noticed the storm had passed. It was fleeting, but I had a tiny little thought flit through my crazy mind, telling me now's the time to go get in those other 3 miles at the park that I wanted to do.
I didn't want to. After all I've dealt with this week, all I wanted to do was crawl back in bed and finish crying. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that I was going to have a gain this Friday, no matter what, and that 3 more stupid miles weren't going to make a difference this late in the week. I knew I had eaten too many calories for too many days and this wasn't going to be a fake sodium gain. This was going to be the real deal....real lard...the artery-clogging kind. Walking another 3 miles would be in vain for this week's weigh-in and I knew it. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that if I did walk, afterwards, all of the problems and the craziness and the crap would still be right there waiting for me. Walking wasn't going to make any of it go away. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that I had holes in the bottom of my shoes somewhere because I always end up with two shoes full of tiny pieces of gravel and they hurt my feet....not to mention that I'd already walked 3 miles this morning, and if I did 3 more, I'd have some serious blisters on my toes afterwards. But...
I did it anyway.
I was right about all of it. The 3 extra miles I did this evening won't have much affect on a weigh-in that's a day and a half away. It didn't take away or fix any of the problems or crap in my life. It really didn't clear out any of the cobwebs clogging up my mind. My shoes did fill up with gravel, and it did hurt, and I now have bad blisters on the bottom of all my toes. But...
I did it anyway. I walked 6 miles today. I also stayed within my calorie limit today, coming in at 1436, knowing that's only the 2nd time this week I haven't gone over. I may not have made much of a difference in my weight loss for this week. But it's not all about "this week". It's about my life. And I hope it's a long one. And I hope it turns into a happier, less stressful one soon. There are way too many things that are beyond our control. For someone as Type A and anal as me, it can make you, well....crazy, when things feel so helpless, hopeless and beyond your control. Kinda' like you ended up on the Crazy Train, except you didn't buy a ticket. It just kinda' happened.
I'm doing my absolute best to control the things I can. I've done a poor, poor job of it this week. I've let life beat me down. But for each day that you do what's right for you with the food and the exercise...the things that you can control....then that's a win for you...for your life. And that's got to be what's most important. Make no mistake. It doesn't matter how much anyone else loves you or says they care about you....NOBODY in this world cares more about what's most important for you and your life than YOU.
I can't promise that tomorrow will be good. All I can say for certain is that today was a success. Sometimes that's all we can do...one day at a time. Life happens. Sh*t happens. And maybe sometimes you get more than your share. But I think that if we take each day as it comes, that even in the midst of chaos, if we can dig deep within ourselves, find that little wellspring of hope that we each hold...the hope that this time....this time....we can finally make the changes that will produce the healthiest people we can be, then we will ultimately succeed. We will make it. We have to make ourselves the most important people in our lives, because no one else is going to. And we have to keep hope, because sometimes there's nothing else.
I know....super long post. You'll just have to forgive me for that. I hope that everone is having a super fantastic week filled with good eating choices, lots of exercise, strength, resolve, a winning desire, and belief in yourselves that you WILL get there. If you're not, and you're finding yourself surrounded by insanity like I am, then I have a few words for you, too......Keep the hope alive. :)
Quote For The Day:
"What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first steps to something better." -proverb
My life is crazy, my thoughts are crazy, my emotions are crazy, my no-job status is crazy, my lack of income is crazy, my mind is crazy....it's official. I'm riding the Crazy Train. I'd offer you a seat, but we're all filled up over here.
I could give you explicit details...but why bother. If you're anything like me, you already know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're nothing like me and lead a perfectly normal, peaceful, balanced happy life...then please don't tell me. I don't want to add insane jealousy to my already long list of insane emotions. I don't think I can handle one more ounce of crazy.
Everything that could possibly go wrong this week on all fronts of my life, has, with the exception of someone dying. And I hope I didn't just jinx myself by saying that. Please God, keep everyone in my life alive for at least another month so I won't think I just killed them with that last statement.
Thanks to all of you who left comments on last night's post....and for the ones who said I was pretty....gorgeous even (Shelley!)....it's time to make an appointment with your eye doctor. I was trying to type the official word for the "eye doctor" but I can't remember how to spell it right now. Crazy.
Scarlette....the one that I said is the light of my life....also happens to be the cause of much unnecessary stress and housework. Yesterday I told you there was dog sh*t tracked all over my house. She pooped in the hallway. I had just woke up, got dressed, shoes and all, and was taking her out to use the bathroom (Ha! what a joke...crazy, I know) when she apparently dropped a tootsie roll in the hallway on our way out the front door. When we came back in, and down the dark hallway (this was before dawn), I apparently stepped in it.
I found it about an hour later and noticed little tracks of it all over the floors, in every room. But I didn't see it on the bottom of her feet. That's because it was on the bottom of MY feet...my tennis shoes....both of them. Do you know how many geometric shapes, cracks, crevices, nooks and crannies are in the bottom of tennis shoes? I do. Because I had to spend 30 minutes using a wooden skewer and Lysol wipes digging shit out of each and every one of them. Then I got to spend the next 30 minutes bleaching all my floors. Did I mention I have bleach-induced asthma? Crazy.
There was much, much more to yesterday, but I'll spare you the rest of the horrid details. On to today.
The day started out good because as soon as I woke up, I threw on yesterday's clothes, my freshly Lysol'd tennis shoes, threw the dog in the crate, and escaped my house and sped to the park before anything could go wrong. I locked my purse and cell phone (I hate that crazy thing) in my trunk, and headed out for a peaceful 3 mile walk. It was nice. I came home feeling sore, but my mind was refreshed. I started thinking as I pulled back into my driveway that today just might turn out well (that was crazy talk).
Things started going downhill around 10am. Wow, that didn't take long. Again, I'll spare you the next few hours of details and fast forward to around 4:30pm when it came a flood. I had mentioned in last night's post that if the stars aligned right, I would try for a 2nd 3 mile walk this afternoon. Well....you know how crazy stars are. It started pouring outside, thundering and lightning, and naturally the dog indicated that she wanted to go out. I thought she had to go do her business.
I let her out, she played and splashed in the ever-growing puddles in the yard, found a few drowning bugs to munch on, and came running back in. Every morning and every evening there's dew on the grass and her little legs get soaked. We always come in and go straight to the bathroom where I keep the towel to dry her off. I take her out a lot, so we go through this ritual about 3x in the morning and another 3x at night. It's tedious, but I don't want her to run around with wet legs and get too cold, so I do it.
When I let her back in the house during the gully-washer, she followed me down the hall, through my bedroom, and into the bathroom. I shut the door behind her and looked down. She was covered in mud from her toes all the way up to her belly. She's pretty short and close to the ground, so this isn't hard to do. I don't know why, but for some reason it didn't occur to me that rain mixed with red Georgia dirt turns into red Georgia mud (crazy, I know).
I'm a clean freak, so I panicked. I tried to grab her as quickly as I could and she thought I was playing a game with her. She jumped out of the way of my grasp and danced all around my sparkling white bathroom. White linoleum, white bathtub....thank God my bathroom rugs are maroon/burgundy because she danced all over both of those, too. I bet there were 150 muddy paw prints on my floors and the side of my tub before I caught her. Stressed is not the word.
I decided to just bathe her right then. I stepped over into the garden tub, fully clothed, and I gave her a bath, washing her with my shampoo because her shampoo was all the way at the other end of the house. There was no way in hell we were tracking back through the house. I think I got wetter than she did. She hates baths. She's a wiry, wiggly little thing and it was quite a sight. She managed to splash and sling red mud ALL OVER my bathroom before I finally got her washed, rinsed and dried.
After all the fun of that, I got to go back through the house from the bathroom to the front door, on my hands and knees, and clean all the mud off the floors. Little clumps of mud don't mop very well, so this was a hands and knee job. Balancing 245 lbs of weight on 2 rickety kneecaps on hardwood floors is just crazy. And painful.
There was about an hour's worth of tears after that.....from all that has happened this week, not just the mud. I was deflated, depressed, disgusted, drowning and all I wanted to do was eat. Right about then, I looked out the window and noticed the storm had passed. It was fleeting, but I had a tiny little thought flit through my crazy mind, telling me now's the time to go get in those other 3 miles at the park that I wanted to do.
I didn't want to. After all I've dealt with this week, all I wanted to do was crawl back in bed and finish crying. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that I was going to have a gain this Friday, no matter what, and that 3 more stupid miles weren't going to make a difference this late in the week. I knew I had eaten too many calories for too many days and this wasn't going to be a fake sodium gain. This was going to be the real deal....real lard...the artery-clogging kind. Walking another 3 miles would be in vain for this week's weigh-in and I knew it. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that if I did walk, afterwards, all of the problems and the craziness and the crap would still be right there waiting for me. Walking wasn't going to make any of it go away. But...
I did it anyway.
I knew that I had holes in the bottom of my shoes somewhere because I always end up with two shoes full of tiny pieces of gravel and they hurt my feet....not to mention that I'd already walked 3 miles this morning, and if I did 3 more, I'd have some serious blisters on my toes afterwards. But...
I did it anyway.
I was right about all of it. The 3 extra miles I did this evening won't have much affect on a weigh-in that's a day and a half away. It didn't take away or fix any of the problems or crap in my life. It really didn't clear out any of the cobwebs clogging up my mind. My shoes did fill up with gravel, and it did hurt, and I now have bad blisters on the bottom of all my toes. But...
I did it anyway. I walked 6 miles today. I also stayed within my calorie limit today, coming in at 1436, knowing that's only the 2nd time this week I haven't gone over. I may not have made much of a difference in my weight loss for this week. But it's not all about "this week". It's about my life. And I hope it's a long one. And I hope it turns into a happier, less stressful one soon. There are way too many things that are beyond our control. For someone as Type A and anal as me, it can make you, well....crazy, when things feel so helpless, hopeless and beyond your control. Kinda' like you ended up on the Crazy Train, except you didn't buy a ticket. It just kinda' happened.
I'm doing my absolute best to control the things I can. I've done a poor, poor job of it this week. I've let life beat me down. But for each day that you do what's right for you with the food and the exercise...the things that you can control....then that's a win for you...for your life. And that's got to be what's most important. Make no mistake. It doesn't matter how much anyone else loves you or says they care about you....NOBODY in this world cares more about what's most important for you and your life than YOU.
I can't promise that tomorrow will be good. All I can say for certain is that today was a success. Sometimes that's all we can do...one day at a time. Life happens. Sh*t happens. And maybe sometimes you get more than your share. But I think that if we take each day as it comes, that even in the midst of chaos, if we can dig deep within ourselves, find that little wellspring of hope that we each hold...the hope that this time....this time....we can finally make the changes that will produce the healthiest people we can be, then we will ultimately succeed. We will make it. We have to make ourselves the most important people in our lives, because no one else is going to. And we have to keep hope, because sometimes there's nothing else.
I know....super long post. You'll just have to forgive me for that. I hope that everone is having a super fantastic week filled with good eating choices, lots of exercise, strength, resolve, a winning desire, and belief in yourselves that you WILL get there. If you're not, and you're finding yourself surrounded by insanity like I am, then I have a few words for you, too......Keep the hope alive. :)
Quote For The Day:
"What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first steps to something better." -proverb
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Life In Photos
I've had a really, really, extremely crappy day that started around 7am this morning and hasn't let up. My eating has been bad since Friday's weigh-in...still learning how to adjust to eating good around Dwayne when he's eating like sh*t around me on Fridays and Saturdays. Sunday I was so upset about the weekend eating, that I continued it on Sunday...bright, huh? Yesterday, the Labor Day cookout, was the first excellent eating day I've had...came in at 1200 calories. But today started bad and went downhill from there...everything from dog sh*t tracked all over the floors in my house and an hour clean-up from digging it out of the crevices in the bottom of my tennis shoes & bleaching all of my floors in the house.... to 2 fights with 2 different loved ones....and then I topped the sh*tty day off with some sh*tty eating tonight. Friday's weigh-in is not looking good.
So, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start, and I'm looking forward to a piece of 166 calorie breakfast casserole that I made. I'll try to post a pic of it. Then I'm headed out for a 3 mile walk at the park, and if if the stars align right, another 3 mile walk tomorrow evening. Walking makes me feel better, and I need to feel better.
My roommate Shane taught me how to scan pictures from my printer to my laptop tonight, so I'm going to try to figure out how to get them on my blog now w/o having to bother Pam again. If they don't line up right, just bear with me. I'm a work in progress...in more ways than one. :)
Breakfast Casserole w/ ham, fresh mushrooms, a little summer squash & orange bell pepper, baby asparagus, 3/4 c. of fat free shredded cheddar, 1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese, and 10 egg whites.
So, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start, and I'm looking forward to a piece of 166 calorie breakfast casserole that I made. I'll try to post a pic of it. Then I'm headed out for a 3 mile walk at the park, and if if the stars align right, another 3 mile walk tomorrow evening. Walking makes me feel better, and I need to feel better.
My roommate Shane taught me how to scan pictures from my printer to my laptop tonight, so I'm going to try to figure out how to get them on my blog now w/o having to bother Pam again. If they don't line up right, just bear with me. I'm a work in progress...in more ways than one. :)
Breakfast Casserole w/ ham, fresh mushrooms, a little summer squash & orange bell pepper, baby asparagus, 3/4 c. of fat free shredded cheddar, 1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese, and 10 egg whites.
Here are some pics of Dwayne, Scarlette and I. He gave her to me a couple of weeks before Christmas last year. She's Momma's precious baby girl and the best gift I've ever received. She is my sunshine every day. :) The first pic is of her hiding from us and peeking out around the loveseat. It was her first night home and she was a little shy. She was 4 months old and weighed 4 lbs.
The next pic is of me holding my baby for the first time...
And here's another....
Here's her Daddy holding her on the first night home.....
I'm going to end this post with a pic of Dwayne & I at Hilton Head Island in September of last year...2008. I weighed around 270-275 lbs.
Quote For the Day:
"Success is sweet, the sweeter if long delayed and attained through manifold struggles and defeats." -A. Bronson Alcott
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Wow! Guess What I Did?!
As I said in my last post, I reached my next 15 lb. lost mini-goal and it was time for another reward. When I reached my first 15 lb. marker, I didn't have to buy myself anything because Dwayne gave me $100 to buy a few new pieces of clothing for dropping a size. It was a lovely surprise! Well, when he got here Friday evening, he handed me ANOTHER $100 for reaching this current goal...I was shocked! It was awesome the first time, but I never even thought he would do it again. I'm guessing he wants to be a part of the reward process because he's proud of all of my hard work.
So it looked like I wasn't going to be buying myself anything again this time...until I realized something last night. When I started my travels this time on the road to permanent weight loss, I started in June of this year and was 272 lbs. I set an arbitrary ending goal of 180 lbs. I stated early on that I have no desire to be stick thin, and actually prefer the look and feel of a curvier body. I am 5'10 in heighth and do remember a time many years ago when I weighed 200 lbs. and could tuck in my shirts w/o any embarassment. So I'm figuring 180 is good for now. If I get there, and want to drop lower, then that's cool. But I'm going to consider reaching the 180 lb. mark my true success for what I started out to do.
With all of this said, I got to thinking last night about my very highest weight several years back. It was 340 lbs. I remember thinking after I crossed over the 300 lb. threshold that I had reached a point of no return. A 300 lb. girl? There was no turning back, I remember thinking. Once you let yourself go that far, well there's just no hope left in sight. Or so I thought.
Thank God I was wrong about that. I reached a point where something "clicked" and I decided that I COULD take the weight off, and I was going to, come Hell or high water. And that's just what I set out to do. I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months (and no, I didn't do it the right way). I went from 340 lbs. to 257 lbs. and I was sailing down the scale. I was on fire! And then I met Dwayne, lol. The weight loss stopped. All of a sudden my attention that was dead set on the weight loss had been fully diverted and squarely placed on my blue-eyed guy. What a mistake that was, lol. I love my fella to pieces, but I should have NEVER, EVER taken my eyes off the goal.
I slowly gained back 33 of those lbs. over the next 4 years or so. Thank goodness I didn't gain it all back and plus some, like I read about so many others that do. I remember when I finally got around to noticing that I was sitting at 290 lbs., almost at the 300 marker again, I said "WHOA NELLY!!" This is NOT happening again. I refuse to see 300 lbs. ever again. The problem was, I didn't really make the right mental changes to get it off. I didn't have the "click" that I had before. I prayed for it, over and over, but it just didn't happen. It's like I wanted to lose the weight, but couldn't find the willpower and desire to put forth the same effort I did before.
I very, very slowly dropped 20 lbs. over the course of a year, and then kept jumping between 266 and 272 lbs. Fluctuating week after week, up/down up/down...and that's when I finally decided to see what this blogging stuff was all about. My best friend Pam whose blog is Journey To The Healthier Side Of Life, and listed on my blogroll, had been blogging for quite some time, and I decided to give it a shot. Thank God I did. Blogland is where I found my inspiration. So many inspiring people out there, doing what I yearned to do for myself. And alas, From Fat to Fab was born. My starting weight was 272 lbs.
My realization came last night though from remembering that I once was 340 lbs. I am now 241.8 as of my last weigh-in. Is everyone doing their subtraction??? I've lost dang near 100 lbs. from my highest point!!!! Holy cow!!! That's amazing!!!! Well, I couldn't let that pass me by without buying myself a reward....one that came from me and not Dwayne. I don't know why....Dwayne's gift of cash for clothing is deeply appreciated and I'm very touched...but there's just something about buying a little something for you...from you.
I went to a bookstore with my Mom today and found the perfect little gift. I collect cookbooks and found one called Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly. It's full of healthy, low-fat recipes for your crockpot/slow cooker and they list all of the nutritional value for each recipe!!! I love to find recipes that already have the calories figured out, and now I have a whole book full of them!! Perfect!! And it only cost me $15.95 to boot. Yay!
I am extremely pleased with my little purchase. My pocketbook didn't suffer too badly, and my new cookbook signifies a tremendous amount of hard work and effort to get to a healthier me. What better gift to give yourself than something that will further the good that you're working so hard to accomplish? Books last forever. I want my weight loss to last forever. I can continue to use this book during maintenance. It's just an excellent choice all the way around and I'm glad I made it. :)
Tomorrow is Labor Day, and rather than have to face someone else's cookout with the trepidation that always seems to creep up on me with holiday eating, I decided to take the reigns and have my own cookout! This was my evil plan so I can control ALL the food that is available....very cool. Labor Day marks the "end of summer", and summer is synonymous with seafood to me when it comes to food, so Mom's coming over to help me grill some salmon, shrimp, baby scallops and veggie kabobs. It's going to be fantastic!! My roommate Shane will be here, along with my parents, one of my sisters, Amy, and 2 of my nieces and nephews, Carla and Cyress. It's going to be a lovely time filled with food choices that I can feel good about. I'm really looking forward to it!
I still don't own a digital camera, but Shane does, so if I can remember, I'm going to get him to show me how to use it, and load the pics from it onto my computer, and then how to access them, and will probably get Pam (my blog guru) to show me how to post them on here. I'm severely challenged when it comes to these types of things, so we'll see. I love the blogs, like Amy H.'s at No To The Deuce, that always post food pics and recipes. I'd like to start adding some of my own pics.
I have a few pics of my puppy Scarlette saved on my computer from the last time Dwayne and I went to Hilton Head, SC for a weekend getaway. It was overcast, so the pics aren't bright and sunny, but if I can get Pam to help me tomorrow, then I'll try to put some up of my baby to show you.
I hope everyone has a fun, happy and safe holiday, surrounded by close family and friends, and filled with good eating choices! We can do this!! Doesn't it feel great to know you're finally on the right road to a happier, healthier you?? I think so, too!!
Quote For The Day:
"Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." -Ralph Bluen
So it looked like I wasn't going to be buying myself anything again this time...until I realized something last night. When I started my travels this time on the road to permanent weight loss, I started in June of this year and was 272 lbs. I set an arbitrary ending goal of 180 lbs. I stated early on that I have no desire to be stick thin, and actually prefer the look and feel of a curvier body. I am 5'10 in heighth and do remember a time many years ago when I weighed 200 lbs. and could tuck in my shirts w/o any embarassment. So I'm figuring 180 is good for now. If I get there, and want to drop lower, then that's cool. But I'm going to consider reaching the 180 lb. mark my true success for what I started out to do.
With all of this said, I got to thinking last night about my very highest weight several years back. It was 340 lbs. I remember thinking after I crossed over the 300 lb. threshold that I had reached a point of no return. A 300 lb. girl? There was no turning back, I remember thinking. Once you let yourself go that far, well there's just no hope left in sight. Or so I thought.
Thank God I was wrong about that. I reached a point where something "clicked" and I decided that I COULD take the weight off, and I was going to, come Hell or high water. And that's just what I set out to do. I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months (and no, I didn't do it the right way). I went from 340 lbs. to 257 lbs. and I was sailing down the scale. I was on fire! And then I met Dwayne, lol. The weight loss stopped. All of a sudden my attention that was dead set on the weight loss had been fully diverted and squarely placed on my blue-eyed guy. What a mistake that was, lol. I love my fella to pieces, but I should have NEVER, EVER taken my eyes off the goal.
I slowly gained back 33 of those lbs. over the next 4 years or so. Thank goodness I didn't gain it all back and plus some, like I read about so many others that do. I remember when I finally got around to noticing that I was sitting at 290 lbs., almost at the 300 marker again, I said "WHOA NELLY!!" This is NOT happening again. I refuse to see 300 lbs. ever again. The problem was, I didn't really make the right mental changes to get it off. I didn't have the "click" that I had before. I prayed for it, over and over, but it just didn't happen. It's like I wanted to lose the weight, but couldn't find the willpower and desire to put forth the same effort I did before.
I very, very slowly dropped 20 lbs. over the course of a year, and then kept jumping between 266 and 272 lbs. Fluctuating week after week, up/down up/down...and that's when I finally decided to see what this blogging stuff was all about. My best friend Pam whose blog is Journey To The Healthier Side Of Life, and listed on my blogroll, had been blogging for quite some time, and I decided to give it a shot. Thank God I did. Blogland is where I found my inspiration. So many inspiring people out there, doing what I yearned to do for myself. And alas, From Fat to Fab was born. My starting weight was 272 lbs.
My realization came last night though from remembering that I once was 340 lbs. I am now 241.8 as of my last weigh-in. Is everyone doing their subtraction??? I've lost dang near 100 lbs. from my highest point!!!! Holy cow!!! That's amazing!!!! Well, I couldn't let that pass me by without buying myself a reward....one that came from me and not Dwayne. I don't know why....Dwayne's gift of cash for clothing is deeply appreciated and I'm very touched...but there's just something about buying a little something for you...from you.
I went to a bookstore with my Mom today and found the perfect little gift. I collect cookbooks and found one called Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly. It's full of healthy, low-fat recipes for your crockpot/slow cooker and they list all of the nutritional value for each recipe!!! I love to find recipes that already have the calories figured out, and now I have a whole book full of them!! Perfect!! And it only cost me $15.95 to boot. Yay!
I am extremely pleased with my little purchase. My pocketbook didn't suffer too badly, and my new cookbook signifies a tremendous amount of hard work and effort to get to a healthier me. What better gift to give yourself than something that will further the good that you're working so hard to accomplish? Books last forever. I want my weight loss to last forever. I can continue to use this book during maintenance. It's just an excellent choice all the way around and I'm glad I made it. :)
Tomorrow is Labor Day, and rather than have to face someone else's cookout with the trepidation that always seems to creep up on me with holiday eating, I decided to take the reigns and have my own cookout! This was my evil plan so I can control ALL the food that is available....very cool. Labor Day marks the "end of summer", and summer is synonymous with seafood to me when it comes to food, so Mom's coming over to help me grill some salmon, shrimp, baby scallops and veggie kabobs. It's going to be fantastic!! My roommate Shane will be here, along with my parents, one of my sisters, Amy, and 2 of my nieces and nephews, Carla and Cyress. It's going to be a lovely time filled with food choices that I can feel good about. I'm really looking forward to it!
I still don't own a digital camera, but Shane does, so if I can remember, I'm going to get him to show me how to use it, and load the pics from it onto my computer, and then how to access them, and will probably get Pam (my blog guru) to show me how to post them on here. I'm severely challenged when it comes to these types of things, so we'll see. I love the blogs, like Amy H.'s at No To The Deuce, that always post food pics and recipes. I'd like to start adding some of my own pics.
I have a few pics of my puppy Scarlette saved on my computer from the last time Dwayne and I went to Hilton Head, SC for a weekend getaway. It was overcast, so the pics aren't bright and sunny, but if I can get Pam to help me tomorrow, then I'll try to put some up of my baby to show you.
I hope everyone has a fun, happy and safe holiday, surrounded by close family and friends, and filled with good eating choices! We can do this!! Doesn't it feel great to know you're finally on the right road to a happier, healthier you?? I think so, too!!
Quote For The Day:
"Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." -Ralph Bluen
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Job Fair Tomorrow
It's been another busy day....I had a lot of errands to run and stuff to take care of. My sister Amy came over late this morning and we went to the park together and walked the 2 mile trail. It wasn't my normal power walk, but it wasn't a stroll either. The weird thing is, I was even MORE sore after today's walk than I was after yesterday's which was much more rigorous. My body is so strange, lol.
Mom met us at the park with my niece and nephew after we were done with our walk. She brought Krystal's for lunch....I was going to eat 4, but knowing they were 160 calories each, I decided to only eat 2. I have a love affair with Krystal's that just won't seem to die....but I'm getting way better at having them in smaller amounts when I do have them. They're just a terrible caloric value...so little food for so many calories, and I like making better use of my calories.
I had a piece of breakfast casserole this morning that I made yesterday...it was 211 calories. I love making these....I cut it into 4 pieces and have breakfast that morning....and then don't have to cook breakfast for the next 3 mornings! These will come in really handy when I finally get another job. I made a French style pork stew in the crockpot for dinner....it made 3 servings and was 400 calories a serving, and quite tasty I might add. I love coupling pork with rosemary. It's a lovely, fragrant combination.
I had a few snacks throughout the day and came in right at 1500 calories for the 2nd day in a row. One more day before weigh day and then we'll see what the damage is. I've been drinking tons of water, just like I usually do, so I should have flushed all the sodium out from the moving weekend. Of course there's the bloating now that Mother Nature has so graciously bestowed upon me....but there's just nothing we can do about nature. Except cuss it, which I've done profusely. :)
The job fair is tomorrow morning at the Embassy Suites hotel...they are hiring for all positions. I'm hoping to snag something in Accounting or Bookkeeping...say your prayers!! It runs from 9a-3p...I'm going to be there at 8:30am. I've got my resume ready to go...3 copies actually....maybe I'm a little overzealous? lol The most stressful thing about getting ready for this was searching through my clothes in the closet. Oh my. I came upon the realization that I haven't bought any new work clothes in YEARS. I was at the last job for 3 1/2 years, and I guess when you get comfy in a place and get used to wearing the same outfits, maybe you don't realize how worn they're getting? At least I didn't.
The other problem is, I lost 20 lbs VERY SLOWLY over the course of last year...and then another 29 lbs since I started this blog in June. That's dang near 50 lbs!! Everything is now not only worn out, but oversized. It's not exactly falling off yet, thanks to my voluptuous hips, but if I sucked my stomach in, I feel sure my skirt would hit the floor. Gonna' have to watch that tomorrow, lol.
Well I'm off to cuddle with Scarlette. Poor baby....she's loving having the fenced in front yard, after leaving the apartment....but it's a two-edged sword. She's found absolute delight in munching on bugs at night when they come out and start crawling across the sidewalk...but last night she got stung on the nose by a fuzzy caterpillar, and tonight she got stung on the lower eyelid by a bumble bee. It's a little swollen, and she keeps rubbing her eye on my leg...I feel so sorry for her. Maybe she'll learn soon to snack selectively. 'Nite nite. :)
Mom met us at the park with my niece and nephew after we were done with our walk. She brought Krystal's for lunch....I was going to eat 4, but knowing they were 160 calories each, I decided to only eat 2. I have a love affair with Krystal's that just won't seem to die....but I'm getting way better at having them in smaller amounts when I do have them. They're just a terrible caloric value...so little food for so many calories, and I like making better use of my calories.
I had a piece of breakfast casserole this morning that I made yesterday...it was 211 calories. I love making these....I cut it into 4 pieces and have breakfast that morning....and then don't have to cook breakfast for the next 3 mornings! These will come in really handy when I finally get another job. I made a French style pork stew in the crockpot for dinner....it made 3 servings and was 400 calories a serving, and quite tasty I might add. I love coupling pork with rosemary. It's a lovely, fragrant combination.
I had a few snacks throughout the day and came in right at 1500 calories for the 2nd day in a row. One more day before weigh day and then we'll see what the damage is. I've been drinking tons of water, just like I usually do, so I should have flushed all the sodium out from the moving weekend. Of course there's the bloating now that Mother Nature has so graciously bestowed upon me....but there's just nothing we can do about nature. Except cuss it, which I've done profusely. :)
The job fair is tomorrow morning at the Embassy Suites hotel...they are hiring for all positions. I'm hoping to snag something in Accounting or Bookkeeping...say your prayers!! It runs from 9a-3p...I'm going to be there at 8:30am. I've got my resume ready to go...3 copies actually....maybe I'm a little overzealous? lol The most stressful thing about getting ready for this was searching through my clothes in the closet. Oh my. I came upon the realization that I haven't bought any new work clothes in YEARS. I was at the last job for 3 1/2 years, and I guess when you get comfy in a place and get used to wearing the same outfits, maybe you don't realize how worn they're getting? At least I didn't.
The other problem is, I lost 20 lbs VERY SLOWLY over the course of last year...and then another 29 lbs since I started this blog in June. That's dang near 50 lbs!! Everything is now not only worn out, but oversized. It's not exactly falling off yet, thanks to my voluptuous hips, but if I sucked my stomach in, I feel sure my skirt would hit the floor. Gonna' have to watch that tomorrow, lol.
Well I'm off to cuddle with Scarlette. Poor baby....she's loving having the fenced in front yard, after leaving the apartment....but it's a two-edged sword. She's found absolute delight in munching on bugs at night when they come out and start crawling across the sidewalk...but last night she got stung on the nose by a fuzzy caterpillar, and tonight she got stung on the lower eyelid by a bumble bee. It's a little swollen, and she keeps rubbing her eye on my leg...I feel so sorry for her. Maybe she'll learn soon to snack selectively. 'Nite nite. :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
No Worries
I said I wasn't going to worry about my weigh-in tomorrow morning and I've done pretty good with that. To tell you the truth, I've been so busy cleaning up and doing last minute packing that I haven't really had time to dwell on it. The good news is I've stayed below my calorie limit from Sunday through today and I've been on the treadmill. The bad news is, my stress level is through the roof wanting everything to go smooth with this move. I've never hired movers before because I've never been able to afford it. The only way I'm able to do it this time is because Dwayne's paying over half of it for me. If they break something, I'm just going to die, lol.
I've been working since sun up today and I'm so tired. I just got out of the shower and I think I'm going to curl up in bed with my baby Scarlette. I'm hoping to be able to post some pics of her soon so you can see who I'm always talking about. She's the light of my life. I'm ready for some snuggle time. 'Nite all. :)
Quote For The Day:
"The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates that which is best in us." -Hamerton
I've been working since sun up today and I'm so tired. I just got out of the shower and I think I'm going to curl up in bed with my baby Scarlette. I'm hoping to be able to post some pics of her soon so you can see who I'm always talking about. She's the light of my life. I'm ready for some snuggle time. 'Nite all. :)
Quote For The Day:
"The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates that which is best in us." -Hamerton
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