A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Cautiously Optimistic

Well....I made the decision to commit to walking a half marathon with my friends Kim and Tina this November in Savannah.  I pay my entry fee on June 1st when I get paid again.  I've got a lot of work to do.  The furthest I can walk right now w/o face-planting on the trail is 6 miles.  I've got a long ways to go to get to 13 miles.  I also made the decision to be one of those people that buys a treadmill for their home.  I've resisted this for a long time because I know me....and I didn't want to be one of those people that spends money on a treadmill and then uses it as a clothes rack a month after purchasing. 

But I've got a couple of reasons for deciding on this...my own personal reasons.  One is I just can't get over the guilt of working a 10, 12, 14 hour day away from Scarlette, only to come home and change clothes and walk right back out the door to the fitness center at my apt.  She's just too pitiful after missing me every day, so when I get home at night, I don't want to go anywhere else.  I just want to visit with my baby and Dwayne until bedtime.  At least with a treadmill in the basement, I won't have to be away from her.  She can watch her momma walk.  :) 

The other thing....I developed a heat rash when we went to Myrtle Beach....a MASSIVE one.  I haven't been able to get rid of it.  Walking outside in the heat, after we've moved to the new house, isn't going to be an option for me at all.  I'm already red and raw from such a low-hanging stomach and under my chest, and exercising out in the heat of summer will only exascerbate my problem.  So that's my 2nd reason for deciding on the treadmill for the house.   I'll be sweating for sure, but at least the room I'll be in will be air-conditioned, and I can get into a cold shower quickly after I'm done.  I'm planning to get one from Craig's List.

When I left for Myrtle Beach I was 260 lbs.  When I got back 5 days later I was 264.  I've been that weight for the last 3 weeks or so...ever since I've gotten back.  After I made the decision at the end of last week to commit to the half marathon I decided to turn my attention to the weight loss again.  This is a major thing, because after you've been "off plan" for as many months as I have (since December), it's tough to turn it all back around in one week.  I told myself to just start making small changes.  I had fallen into the habit of too much soda and too much restaurant food during the 5 weeks of storms and overtime we've had at work.  So I just started trying to cut back a little here and there and ease myself back into a more sane eating routine.

It's taken a lot of effort just to make the small changes, but so far it's been worth it.  I was 264 lbs. last Friday and this morning I was 259 lbs.  I've lost 5 lbs. in the last 6 days.  That's encouraging, but I don't want to hoop and holler too much.  I need to get to where I'm feeling solid again...not just get excited over one good week.  I had a catch in my throat this morning when I saw that I had dropped back into the 250's, even though it's ever so slightly.  I've been at 260 and above for so long that I was starting to think I'd never see a lower number again.  Today's eating has been all about concentrating on not going back up to that next decade again.  I've been thinking on it all day, and I'm hoping that by next week I can report that I'm firmly down into the mid 250's.

So I'm slowly pulling in the reigns again...not really trusting myself, but trying hard to.  I know I have it in me to lose this weight.  I know I have what it takes....I just need to concentrate on the positive things and leave the negative thoughts behind....the ones that say I'm destined to be fat forever because I just cant' seem to get a grip.  I can get a grip...I can...and I'm focusing on those positive thoughts today. 


  1. 1/2 marathon! Good for you! I'm still working up the nerve to do a 5K!! I'll be rooting for you!

    You so are not "destined to be fat forever", silly. Take control, make a plan and you can do it! Think of how much easier that 1/2 marathon will be with 40 - 50 lbs. gone! Plenty of time to do it.

  2. It helps to have a major goal out there and focus on it. I always need some sort carrot dangling out there so I will remember to do the things to get me there. I'm sure you can do the half marathon, especially since you'll have your treadmill. That will mean no excuses! ;-)

  3. Sounds good - excellent loss of lbs in 6 days. I think getting a treamill is a great idea. Someone gave me one years ago, and I virtually never used it and my son sold it on eBay. I could kick myself now!

    I'm finally writing a post and have told about not getting together with you and Tina. That was the only disappointment of my week.

    I know you can do that half - I did one in Atlanta with my daughter in 2009, and the longest I'd trained prior was 8 miles. There's an adrenalin factor, plus being with friends and just committing to it no matter what will help you. Love you! Keep up the good work, but not the overtime!!!

  4. I believe you can too...
    Never quit on yourself and your dreams Tammy.

  5. You will succeed. I love the treadmill. I wish I had room for one but I dont. We dont have basements here in So Cal. So I go to the gym and use theirs. I agree with Jo it will also mean "no excuses". Good luck friend.

  6. You are more courageous than I am!!! I want to commit to some sort of BIG THANG that isn't a box of See's candy. (just kidding) I mean, like a half marathon or some sort of exercise related cause this coming year. I'm going to do it too. Just have to find something that's suited to sitting in a chair while watching TV.

  7. Yeah, getting off the horse makes it really hard to get back on and STAY on without falls. BUT..you know it's possible. You know you have to fight through the first weeks, even month+ until you get your groove going. But your groove will return.

    I had never gotten heat rashes until last summer. And I got it again this spring. I don't handle the sun/sweat/heat as well skin-wise. Pain in the tuchis. Hate having to use the steroid creams.

    I find using sugar to scrub has helped. I just grab some packs when I go to Starbucks (the brown/raw sugar type) and use it to scrub my arms and other heat rash prone areas every three days. It has helped. And using a lighter skin lotion (Lubriderm) rather than my heavier and buttery ones (Eucerin calming, Body Shop body butter) Try it. Sugar scrubs and lighter lotion.

    Happy walking...

  8. What I do every day is put baby powder that has cornstarch in it (the plain baby powder doesn't work) under my boobs and in my groin and bum (sorry to be so specific :)) but I can manage to get good walks in without any problem. If I go for a long walk and forget the powder, I have the same problem.

    Anyway keep up the good work....

  9. Of course you know I'm totally excited for you to do your first half marathon - walking 13.1 miles is no easy feat, but you will be so proud of your accomplishment when you are done!

  10. I am so super proud of you!!!

    And we can totally tackle this together...whatever you need from me, I can/will do!!!

    And as Shelley said, when you get that medal--nothing like it! (As you well know, when I called to tell you how awesome I was after finishing in Nashville! LOL!)

    We will get together soon* (and by soon, I mean upon my return from vacation!)

    Love ya, Girl!!!