A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Another Pound Down

Just when I was making a real effort to blog more regularly and get back in the groove, I got busted at work for using the internet at work for non-work related things (blogging, facebook, etc.).  They cut me off....lol.  My supervisor said, "Corporate office is monitoring everything we do now that we've moved to the shared system with them.  You were on Facebook all day Friday."  My response to that was, "I'm on Facebook all day every day."  Note to self....honesty is not always the best policy, lol.  So much for full disclosure.  lol  I'm only laughing because somehow, miraculously, I still have a job.  And I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's the absolute truth....it would almost be a RELIEF if they fired me.  I haven't forgotten the pain of unemployment from just over a year ago before I got this job.....but man.  If you only knew the STRESS LEVEL and BULLSH*T that goes along with working in a VERY small office where EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING about EVERYBODY.  I am just DYING to spill it all here but I just can't.  The truth is that I do still need my paycheck, and my supervisor reads my blog sometimes, along with her daughter who does temp work at the office sometimes.  Hi Billie and Kandice!!!!!  lol  Billie understands the crap that goes on around there very well, and says all the time she wishes she had another job, but is tied to this one due to circumstance (she's the Ofc Mgr).  However, as my boss' right hand person, she's kinda' required to tell him all things office-related, so I can't share any details about my misery.  Which leads me to this....

I've been budgeting a little extra money to do a little more advertising for Errand Fairy now that we're out of the major storm season.  No overtime at work to speak of, so more time to get my head wrapped around how I'm going to promote Errand Fairy and do what I REALLY want to do....be my own boss.  Trust me.  Some people were just meant to work for themselves.

I had to buy new business cards because I changed my phone number.  I also bought a white cap to wear while I'm out and about on the weekends that has my Errand Fairy logo on it...which is on my sidebar!  I wore it out today when I had lunch with Kim....it's adorable.  I bought a small tote bag with my logo on it....have to figure out when I'm going to carry that around...obviously can't take it to work.  And finally I bought 2 magnetic car signs to put on my little Corolla!!  I have to wash my car tomorrow so I can put them on.  The instructions that came with them said to make sure you take the magnets off every 2 to 3 days and wash the car door under them so they don't fall off.  Good to know!

Kim gave me a training schedule last weekend for walking and getting ready for the Half Marathon in November.  It has you walking 3 miles every other weekday with some kind of cross training on the opposite days.  I've been using Dwayne's weight bench/free weights for that.  Then on Saturday you do your "big" walk.  Today was my first big one, and it was 4 miles.  It goes up every Saturday until you're finally walking 13 miles before you even get to the official race day.  God help me.  lol.  You know, I'm only walking this, not running, but Stephen Vinson at "Who Ate My Blog" has started running and I see his FB status every day.  I saw something on there where he said he pretty much runs at one speed...DON'T DIE!  lol  That sums up how I'm feeling about walking this Half.  Even though I've been following the schedule this week, the reality of actually being able to do this in November seems so far away.  I've been praying, Lord just let me finish....I don't care about my time, just let me make it across that finish line even it takes 6 hours and everybody's already gone home, lol.  I am glad I committed to it though.  It has served the one purpose I had for signing up and that is just to get back in the groove of actually caring about what I'm eating, and getting some movement in again. 

The weight is coming off very slow.  I definitely still have a problem with stress eating (AT WORK!!!).  But my weight  is no longer going up, and I'm no longer maintaining.  I lost a lb. week before last, and I lost 1 more lb. this week.  These numbers would increase if I'd get more disciplined and dedicated obviously, but I'm not there yet.  I would say about 3 days a week I end up crying in my car at lunch time all due to work stress and my boss.  I've been eating to stuff those feelings, even though I know every reason in the world not to.  It doesn't solve anything, the stress relief is very temporary, you feel so guilty afterwards, you hate yourself for doing it, you flat out know better, etc.   I know stress will always be in my life in some shape or form.  If I actually get Errand Fairy rolling, that will be a whole new set of stress!!  I like to think of it as positive instead of the negative I'm drowning in right now, but either way, I need to teach myself how to deal in other ways.  I have all the knowledge on what you're SUPPOSED to do...I need to apply it. 

Well I guess that's all for now.  Since I can't blog at work anymore due to the internet Nazi's I will make more of an effort to do it in the evenings when I get home from work, after I get on the treadmill, cook dinner and eat, and bitch to Dwayne about how bad my work life sucks.  :)  Hope everyone is having a restful and relaxing weekend! :)

Friday, July 22, 2011

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

One bite at a time.

How do you lose a daunting amount of weight?

One pound at a time will get you there.

No big plans.  No hosting challenges.  No sprint to a deadline.

Just trying to make better choices each day that comes along.

I lost 1 lb. this week.  I'm at 257.  It makes me smile.  :)

Have a fabulous weekend friends.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Ready For The Weekend

Ohhhh it's almost Friday and I cannot WAIT!  I'm tired.  I'm stressed.  It's been a rough week.  Dinners have gotten all screwed up this week....that irritates me. I have to do better in the face of stress and unexpected things.  Dwayne had a blowout with our landlord Tuesday night, which rolled over into yesterday.  When Dwayne's not happy, I'm not happy.  I got home at 4:30p yesterday, listened to Dwayne vent about how much money we've spent to fix up this rental house and how his "friend" (our landlord) would never pay him back for any of it, yet continuously asks Dwayne to do favors for him.  I heard all about the guys laziness, and how disgusted Dwayne was that the guy and his wife knew for months they were moving, yet left a housefull of crap for us to haul to the dump.  We spent an entire month getting the house cleaned out, painted, etc. before we moved in it.  We've spent even more money since we've moved in to get it decent.  He's harboring a serious grudge, the anger has been building, and I had no idea.  Well I got an earfull last night.  He never wants to deal with his "friend" again.....yet he's our landlord for the next 3 years.  Yeah.  Can we say awkward?  I was upset.  Felt stupid for not knowing Dwayne was so upset and begrudgingly spending the money to fix the place up.  Just bad feelings all the way around.  I went to bed at 5:15p.  I woke up at 7:30p starving with no plan for dinner.  I had thawed out some lean ground beef for Dwayne to make burgers on the grill, but it was raining, and both of us had forgotten to pick up buns at the store anyway.  So I went into the kitchen and found that Dwayne had whipped up some Hamburger Helper.  No idea how long we'd had that box.  Probably one of the most unhealthy things you can eat.  But of course I ate it.  First of all, I never complain when Dwayne takes the initiative to cook.  Number two - I was in a crappy mood and didn't care about what I was eating.  Blah.  Whatever.  I have to work OT tonight, so Dwayne's on his own with dinner and so am I.  As of right now, I have no idea what I'm having.  I didn't thaw anything, just rushed out the door at 5:30am this morning knowing I had a 13-14 hour day ahead of me.  I'm buried in work right now, but needed to take a couple of minutes to post.  I'm trying to get back in the habit of posting more regularly.  It helps to keep me focused, even when some of the days are bad.  Hope everyone else is having a great week.  Things should improve on my end by the weekend.  Things are always less stressful on the weekend.  Let's talk later.  :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Already???

Wow my weekends fly by soooo fast.  In my personal opinon, 10 days vacation at work is not enough to spread out over a whole year.  Sucks that you can't just take a day off whenever you want to stay at home and work in your flower bed or cook up a bunch of healthy food for the week.  I always have grand plans on the weekend and I always overschedule.  I can't ever fit it all in.  Blah. 

I've been wanting to stain our deck for weeks now, and every Sat and Sun morning the deck is soaked from where it's rained the night before.  Good ol' summertime in the South....rains every day.  It's usually only for 5 mins...just a passing shower, and just long enough to get everything soaking wet.  Grrrrr.

Well last night about 6pm I decided it was a good time to start on the deck.  I moved the table and chairs to one end and just started staining.  I got about 75% of it done.  My PLAN is to finish rolling the boards next weekend, and hopefully Dwayne can start on spraying the rails and spindels. 

I also managed to get all the weeds pulled out of my flower bed this wknd, but wasn't able to plant the new flowers I bought and put some weed killer down on the weeds and get it mulched.  I really just wanted to take the day off today and FINISH that stupid flower bed, but alas, I'm way too responsible to do something like that.  Due to our Myrtle Beach trip this past spring, and our move to the new house at the end of June, I now only have 2 days off left for the rest of the year!  Boo!  lol

Ok I'll quit my bitching, lol.  I really am doing pretty good...except I hate my job, lol.  Is it possible to hate your job and still be extremely thankful that you have one?  Why, yes it is possible!  I feel that way every day!  :)  What I really want to do is get Errand Fairy off the ground.  Now that I have a better-looking car (my 19 year old Honda Accord died a week ago), I'm able to buy a magnetic sign or two and put on my car to help advertise.  There's also a temp girl that works here and there for us when we get too busy, and she's available to do some daytime errands while I'm at work, so I won't have to turn down all calls for errands done during the day.  Yay!  Very excited about that!  Tina is going to update my website today with my new phone #, and I have to order business cards again with my new address and phone #, but things are starting to move along where the Errand Fairy is concerned.  Thank the Lord!  I really, REALLY want to work for myself.  There's a word for people like me who don't deal super well with authority and think that the way everyone else does it in the office is stupid.....and that word is "entrepreneur".  LOL

Oh!!  Dwayne and I both got on the treadmill this weekend.  I have one word for that experience.  Ow.  It says it's on 0 incline, but it feels like there IS an incline even when it says 0, so it feels like you're constantly walking up a slight hill, which I suppose is good for the quads and hamstrings, but boy do they hurt right now!  It's all good, I'll get used to it soon enough....just have to get on that thing every day, consistently, and build up.  November isn't too far away! 

Dwayne and I went grocery shopping together and spent $187!!!!  That's a ridiculous amount for 2 people, I know, but I bought every healthy thing I could think of.  We're grilling out almost every night now, I've got tons of veggies, and lots of fruit, etc.  Trying to eat better takes real effort on my part, and I'm working on it.

Well that's it for the weekend update....hope all of you had a good one.  Now it's time to muddle through this Monday so we can say, "Only 4 days left til the weekend!!!"  :)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Treadmill Purchased!

Woo Hoo!  Finally!  After scouring Craig's List for nearly 2 months, we finally ended up with a treadmill yesterday.  Mom put the word out to her friends and she found one for me yesterday.  I think she said it was originally $1200 or so and we got it for $300!  Stayed within budget and still ended up with a heavy duty treadmill...I am so, so pleased.  Mom is an angel.  Not only did she locate it, but she went and "test drove" it while I was at work, paid for it, went back and picked it up last night, and drove over an hour to my house to deliver it to us.  She is AWESOME! 

Dwayne and I are very happy with the purchase...thoroughly.  He got on it last night after mom left and did a little jogging.  When he got off he said, "This thing works really well...this is going to suck".  lol  Poor thing isn't used to any exercise of any kind unless it's lifting the remote while lounging on the Lazyboy sectional.  He also has a weight bench that his buddy left for him when he moved out of the house.  He set that up last night right next to the treadmill so we can both be working out at the same time....one with weights and one walking.   He may not be totally on board with the health eating yet, but I'm glad he's at least willing to get in some exercise with me.

I'm so proud of myself for signing up for that Half Marathon in November.  The whole purpose of that was to FORCE myself to get back in the groove of trying to get healthier and it worked like a charm.  I know exactly how many months I have to get ready for it and am acutely aware of that deadline every day.

Tonight after work will be my first official workout on the elliptical.  I'm just going to get on and walk until I can't walk anymore.  The plan is to push myself a little further each week.  The eating is getting better.  We grilled out for dinner 4 nights this week, and planning on grilling up a bunch of chicken/veggies on Sunday to have for lunches and dinners thru next week.  Things are looking up....trying to get this train back on track. 

Busy weekend ahead...staining the deck, putting up a gazebo, weeding and mulching my front flower bed, grocery shopping, Wal-mart shopping, taking my baby to her grooming appt. on Sunday, and the list goes on.  Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend, too!  :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Scared Straight

Hey!  It's been FOR-E-VER since I posted....just busy with the new rental house and STILL looking on Craig's List for a treadmill.  We're having a problem finding one within our $300 budget, but I told Dwayne we're buying one this Friday when we get paid, even if it's a piece of crap.  I STILL have the same heat rash I developed in Myrtle Beach nearly 3 months ago.  I finally went to the doctor and got an Rx for a $35 cream to put on it, and I put pure cornstarch on top of the cream.  What a pain in the you know what....and $35 for a little tube of cream????  Dang!

Speaking of the dr, things are VERY bad.  My blood pressure was 110/80, which he said is excellent.  And my weight was 258 lbs, which is down 2 lbs from the last time I posted on here.  But my diabetes #'s and triglycerides are terrible, and by gaining this weight back, I've landed myself back on meds.  2 for the diabetes and 1 for the triglycerides.  My thyroid is also a little out of whack again, which makes no sense to me because I take that medicine religiously every single morning an hour before I eat anything.  Anyhoo....I'm in trouble.  It was unsettling to hear I had to go back on the meds.  I cried.  A lot.  The disappointment in myself is pretty much overwhelming, but I deserve it.  I knew I could keep it under control with weight loss and exercise, and I just didn't.  Plain and simple.  So now the goal is to get back OFF the meds....for good.

I will say that I'm not feeling all gung ho again yet about the healthy eating.  I don't like preparing and cooking different things for me and Dwayne, the non-veggie eater.  But I will say that he's making an effort to make it easier on me.  He actually ate salad (just romaine lettuce and baby spinach for him) 3 times last week.  And one night he fixed dinner by grilling some chicken and serving watermelon and raw baby carrots as the sides.  Bless his heart. 

I've fallen back into the Coke habit and boy is that a hard one to kick.  I still drink a ton of water every day...that never changed...but I added sodas back in over time and it's hard to let them go.  Working on that...I've definitely decreased my intake, but I need to kick the habit completely. 

I mentioned a couple of posts back that I signed up for the Half Marathon in Savannah this November.  I have about 3 1/2 months to get ready for that.  The furthest I can go right now w/o dying is 6 miles, so I have some serious work to do to build up to 13.1.  I'm still very excited about it.....intimidated, but excited, because my friends Tina, Kim and Crys are all also doing the Half that day.  Very cool.  All 3 of them are in WAY better shape than me and I'm sure I'll come in last.  I'm just hoping to walk fast enough to qualify for that little 13.1 bumper sticker I want. :)

OH!!!!  Speaking of bumper stickers, my car finally bit the dust this past weekend.  The Accord was 19 years old, had no a/c (100 degree days here in Georgia!!!!), and had a SERIOUS oil leak.  I took it to the shop to get fixed this past Saturday and they told me it would be $1400 to fix it!!!!!!!!  ???????   The car wasn't even worth $1000 so I scrapped it.  I needed a car fast....can't miss work.....so I went to a buy here-pay here place the same day and bought an '02 Toyota Corolla.  It's tiny, but they're supposed to be dependable.  I hate having a car payment....I haven't had one in about 10 years because I normally buy used cars outright, but at least I only have to pay on it for 2 years....that's not too terribly bad.

This weekend will be busy....have to buy a treadmill from someone, anyone, I don't care at this point.  Have to go stand in line at the tag ofc on Saturday morning to renew/transfer my tag to the new car.  My birthday is in a couple of weeks so I already had to renew my tag this month.  I'm going to be 39...yikes!!!  I really enjoyed my 30's....hate to see them come to a close...kinda' sad.  Also have to weed my flower bed this Sat and put down mulch, then help Dwayne stain the deck.  And Scarlette has an appointment at the salon on Sunday to get her furry buns trimmed.  My precious baby.  :)

So just been busy but I'm still here.  I've been thinking I'd like to post more regularly with workout updates, etc. when I finally get the dang treadmill.  Say a prayer that I can find one this wknd that Dwayne will agree to purchasing.  Have a fab Tuesday friends.  :)