A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That's What I Thought

I reported a gain of 8 lbs this week, weighing in on Sunday at 250 lbs, and reported it in my last post.  I didn't freak out about it, because I knew it was mostly due to my cycle....which is still going strong this morning.  Nothing like the feeling of an elephant tap dancing on your ovaries.  I also knew part of it was due to some serious sodium ingestion from eating every meal out for 2 days while Christmas shopping with Dwayne on Friday and Saturday.  I knew that I made decent choices in the restaurants...for example, we went to Marietta Fish Market on Friday.  Dwayne had the fried flounder sandwich and I chose grilled grouper.  After 2 good days of being on plan and drinking ALL of my water both days, I hopped back on the scale this morning.  Back down to 246...just as I thought, the sodium is releasing, and I'm back to dealing with the cycle gain as expected.  I can NOT wait til this wknd gets here so I can start feeling back to normal and not like a puffer fish.  :)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I've Got Mad Skillz

Today was weigh-in day for the Allan's challenge and I gained 8 lbs.  How's that for talented?  Here's a recap of my awesome weekend...

Thanksgiving was a success.  I went to Mom's for a couple of hours, ate 1 moderate plate, plus one more spoon of potato salad.  There was turtle cheesecake, pecan pie and pumpkin pies for dessert...I had one teensy bite of my sister's cheesecake and that was IT for my dessert.  The only leftovers I brought home for myself was a small bit of turkey.  Extremely proud of myself....extremely.

As you all know, I struggle w/ a monstrous, painful cycle 2 weeks out of every 4 weeks, every single month.  I have PCOS.  The only "cure" for it is to lose a massive amount of weight.  Ha.

I started my cycle last Sunday night...weighing in at 242 that morning for the challenge.  By Tuesday morning I had full-on bloat and the scale said 246....I ate 1800 cals that Sun, and 1200 that Monday....so I knew the 4 lb. gain was all water, and I wasn't upset over it....just felt like sh*t, physically.  The next time I got on the scale was Friday morning, after Thanksgiving dinner.  I was 246 lbs...no change.

Moving onto Friday and Saturday.  Dwayne and I had a fantastic time together this weekend.  We shopped for 6-7 hours on Friday, and another 6 hours of shopping on Saturday, and we ate EVERY meal in a restaurant for 2 days.  Water?  What's water?  I drank almost none.  Instead, I've had 2 Cokes, too much of the 60 calorie, no sugar added, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, and lots of coffee w/ creamer....with a little water thrown in. 

I'm in mid-cycle now...one week down, one week to go...and this is the point where my mood normally goes downhill very fast.  Still having terrible cramps....major lower back and ovary pain....and I'm sooo over it, but can't do anything about it for another week.  However, my happiness from my weekend with Dwayne is actually overriding the normal bad mood and bad attitude that mid-cycle always provides.

He helped me with some Christmas shopping money....we found some fantastic sales....he bought me some new clothes that I've desperately needed., etc.  Dwayne doesn't follow a budget, he just buys whatever, whenever.  His last phone was $300.  Well it finally died Saturday, so he ran to the store to get a new one.  Following MY budgeting skills (finally!).....he chose $150 phone instead of the $300 one.  I was quite impressed and happy that he's paying closer attention to his money.  He was out doing some of his own Christmas shopping, while I was out buying the clothes he gave me money for, and hitting some different sales for Christmas shopping on my own.  After 6 hours, we met back up at home and he told me about the phone.  He knows that I always buy the least expensive phone I can find in the store.  The last one I bought was $80...and it works just fine.  He told me he say a $100 phone on sale for $50 and really wanted to buy it for me as an early Christmas present.....so back out we went and bought the phone.  It was very sweet of him...and I'm thrilled with a few new tops, 2 new pair of pants, a new pair of shoes, and a new phone. 

We decorated our little apt together this weekend for Christmas and it's just adorable.  I found a CD at the Dollar Store....the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra...and it's playing quietly in the background.  The lights on the tree are twinkling....and despite the cramps....I am happy. 

Am I bothered by the 8 lb. gain?  Sure...of course I am.  But I am not wallowing in guilt over it.  I know that getting back to drinking 180-200 oz. of water a day will take care of a lot of it.....my cycle ending next weekend will take care of some more of it.  And I've had such a good weekend with Dwayne and Scarlette that this just happens to trump any bad feelings I have over that gain.  I know I didn't gain 8 lbs. of fat...I know what I did wrong w/ ingesting so much sodium in the restaurant foods and drinking next to no water...so I know how to turn it around.  I also know I set a plan for my Thanksgiving dinner....one of moderation...and I stuck to it.  For that, I am extremely proud. 

More shopping today....we're heading out shortly....and then it's back to business.  I hope everyone else is having a fabulous weekend, too.  :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Up 4 lbs...and Doing Ok

My original title to this post was Up 4 lbs...and Happy.  Then I erased "happy" and just put "doing ok".  I can never really say I'm "happy" when I'm only 3 days into a nearly 2 week cycle.  Physically, I feel like crap...a lot of pain and heaviness and general "yuck" feeling.  However....the reason I'm ok with being up 4 lbs is I know it's ALL from the cycle bloat.  Every time I start, I'm up 4-5 lbs within a couple of days.  I've been tracking it long enough to know now.  I may not especially like it, but it doesn't piss me off like it used to.

My goal for weekend calories is the goal I started this challenge with...to eat at the calorie level that I will be stuck with have when I reach my goal weight.  I am 5'10 and my goal weight is 170 lbs, so my maintenance level is 1870 cals.  I weighed in at 242 lbs. Sunday morning.  By the afternoon the serious cramping had started and I knew what I was in for.  I came in right at 1800 cals. on Sunday.  On Monday I came in at 1200 cals on the nose.  I've also drank all of my liquids...water and coffee.  I knew when I woke up Tuesday morning that I had full bloating going on.  I hopped on the scale to confirm it...yep...246 lbs. 

Monday night I had a few things to cook for our Thanksgiving luncheon at work.  I was up pretty late making broccoli, cheese and rice casserole....bread stuffing....baking sweet potatoes and making a sweet potato bake with them, baked a pumpkin roll w/ pecans and cream cheese filling....plus 2 loads of dishes through the dishwasher.  Tuesday morning I got up at 5am and made a pan of baked mac 'n' chz....took down all of my Fall decorations, packed them up and loaded them along with all the food into the car. 

Got to work and we set up everything buffet style....with the racks and the pans with the water in the bottom, setting the smaller food pans inside, with lit Sterno underneath.  Decorated the tables and the office, lit some seasonal candles....and everyone showed up to eat at 12:30p.  My plan was the same plan I have for Thanksgiving at Mom's house on Thursday.  One plate w/o any major piling....not the 2-3 plates I would normally eat....and no leftovers going home.  (I had one of those 230 cal. Jimmy Dean breakfast bowls at 7am).

Billie and Staci also cooked food for our get together, and some people brought in some store bought items as well.  Here's what all we had yesterday:

Baked mac 'n' chz
Broccoli, cheese and rice casserole
Bread Stuffing
Sweet Potato Bake
Cornbread Dressing
Turkey Breast (Boston Market)
Ham (Honey Baked Hams)
Deviled Eggs
Green Bean Casserole
Corn Souffle
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Pumpkin pies
Petit Fours
Chocolate-dipped strawberries
Carrot Cake
Pumpkin Roll
Hawaiian rolls
Parker House rolls

I did almost exactly as planned.  I had one moderate plate w/ turkey, a tiny piece of ham, and a small spoon of the broccoli & rice, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole (less than 1/2 c. each).  One deviled egg & 1 roll.  And then a spoon of my sweet potato bake that served as my dessert.  That's it...didn't touch the rest of the stuff on the buffet table or dessert table.  For a Thanksgiving meal, this is moderation for me and I'm proud of it.  The "almost" part comes in with taking a small bowl of leftovers home for dinner.  After 5 hours of sleep the night before and being busy all day I was exhausted and there was no way I was cooking.  Not at all.  I put some food in a small tupperware bowl...it equaled less than the amt of food I ate at lunch, plus it was shared with Scarlette.  I felt good about the day...but just to make sure my thinking wasn't too skewed, I got on the scale again this morning.  Said the same thing....246 lbs...no gain, not even from sodium.  Apparently I didn't eat enough of the casseroles for the sodium in them to affect me, and that's awesome. 

Also, after doing so well with my plan of moderation yesterday....I'm not near as worried about eating at Mom's now.  If I did well yesterday, I'll do well again tomorrow.  It also helps that I keep thinking of Allan's phrase in my mind..."first it's food, then it's poop"...lol.  Kind of simplifies things, while also taking some of the allure away.  :)

I totally meant to take pics yesterday, but just forgot my camera with the rush of getting all the decos and food in the car and getting to work.  I did remember it this morning though, and I'm shooting for another 1200 calorie day today.  I took a pic of my breakfast....a Jimmy Dean breakfast bagel...and will post it along with my other food pics from the day later tonight.

By the way....regarding the 1200 calorie/day thing I'm doing right now....this is not for life.  It may not last through next week.  I don't know.  I'm just messing around with different stuff right now.  I intrigued myself the first day I actually did it w/o starving to death and that made me want to do it again the next day.  Then I got on the scale and started to see the #'s drop after only 2 days, and that fueled my fascination.  I ended up with a 6 lb. loss last week and it was worth dealing with the hungry feelings most of the week.  I had one weird day last week where I was under the 1200 and wasn't hungry.  Not sure what was up with that, but the honest revelation about the rest of the week is that 1200 a day is damn hard to stick to.  Most days you ARE hungry...and it sucks.  Nobody likes that feeling.  But I'm trying to keep that in perspective, and Allan is helping with that, too.  He talks about starving people in third world countries....and what do we really have to complain about?  The little bit of hunger you have to deal with at 1200 cals isn't even worth mentioning when you think of it in those terms.  So....I'll do the 1200 cals/day for as long as I feel like torturing myself a little....as long as I continue to be amazed by the fact that I'm actually being this regimented....and also amazed with the scale results.

I can go back to 1870 cals/day...the original rules of this challenge...whenever I feel like it.  Still just taking it day by day....one day at a time seems to work best for me.  My brain can't handle looking too far down the road.  So far, Sun-Tues have been good days....I'm a little anxious about the next 4 days being spent with Dwayne thanks to the 4-day holiday weekend.  Those will most probably be 1870 days....I don't even want to TRY to stay at 1200 when I'm around him.  My head might explode from all THAT stress and I'm not even going there. 

I hope you all have your Thanksgiving plans firmly in place.  Don't be too anxious....it's just food, and then it's poop.  :)  Enjoy your loved ones friends...and I'll be back later tonight with food pics.  :)

Oh!  And Allan offered us a "No Coddling" badge for Friday....the day after the Thanksgiving, and most assuredly where we'll be reading about all of those people who did NOT stick to their plan....or who flat out chose to eat as they normally would...with no diet in mind.  I don't judge....it's up to each person how fast and in what way they want to lose their weight....it's none of my business...and I'm not cool with judging peoople for ANY reason.  With that said, I don't think I'll be coddling people either to make them feel better afterwards.  We're all going to make conscious decisions at the Thanksgiving table...and we all get to own them on Friday...and again on weigh day....including myself.  Here's my badge:

Monday, November 22, 2010

Monday's Food Pics

I'm busy cooking for our Thanksgiving luncheon at work tomorrow so this will be a quick post.

Breakfast - 230 cals.

Salad w/ grilled chicken and light blue cheese dressing - 350 cals.

Sweet potato - 103 cals.

Apple - 80 cals.

Dwayne took the day off and I knew he'd be at home waiting on dinner.  I picked up a rotisserie chicken and made him some noodles when I got home.  I just had some of the chicken...nothing else.  I came in right at 1200 cals. today.  I've had 154 oz. of water...(4) 5 oz. c. of coffee and 2 mugs of hot tea.  Another good day in the books.  'Nite friends.  :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Thanksgiving Week? Really???

Warning...I'm in a crappy mood.  Glad we got that out of the way.  :)

I did the first week of Allan's Phase 2 challenge.  My goal was to stay at or under 1870 cals/day.  I decided to try out 1200 cals/day and drink 200 oz. of water for a few days this week...I think it was Tues-Fri...I don't remember now.  My goal for the weekends is to follow the original allotted cals/day...1870.  Sat I came in at 1700.  This week was a total success.  I lost 6 lbs.  I went from 248 last Sun to 242 this morning.  Yay.  lol....

Seriously....I've been trying to be happy about this all day.  I've been looking forward to it...I wanted to jump up and down.  But I can't.  I started my cycle today and I know it's here for almost 2 weeks.  Yes...I bitch about this every month...and will probably continue to, since I post about my daily life here...not just weight loss.  My cramps are soooo much like contractions.  They just double me over in pain.  My mood goes right in the toilet....but to ADD to the normal b.s....it's on Thanksgiving week...the week when things are going to get REALLY busy and stay that way pretty much through the end of the year. 

I've been looking at my budget for Christmas shopping for my family.  I bought my 5 nieces and nephews a few things from the Dollar Store.  They're all under the age of 5 so I can get away with it w/o too much guilt.  Now I'm looking at the budget for my  2 sisters, bro-in-law, mom, dad...and of course Dwayne and Scarlette.  My parents and Dwayne are the ones that I really feel sad about.  I am EXTREMELY THANKFUL for my job.  I was out of work for nearly a year and a half after getting laid off from my last Accounting job.  I have not forgotten how much living on the gov't cheese SUCKED.  I have not forgotten the depression of feeling like life had forgotten me, while sitting inside my house, day after day, praying that someone would choose my resume out of the thousands that were just as desperate as I was.  I have not forgotten.  With that said...I make very little money.  I make $1/hr more an hour than I made on unemployment...and w/ Shane (my old roommate) getting married...the bills are HIGHER than they were on unemployment.  If it wasn't for the Zoloft, I'd be in tears every day like I was.  I'm not crying...but boy is the stress there.  I want to get stuff for my parents and Dwayne...the most special people in my life, because they've always done so much for me and they deserve something nice in return.  I love them so much...and Christmas is that time of year that you get a chance to really say "thank you".  I've always been one of those that got so much out of the giving...caring very little about the receiving.  My budget is scarce...and it stresses me and makes me sad.  It's moreso when the damn monthly cycle kicks in, so this is where my head is out right now. 

I found out we're having a Thanksgiving dinner at work this week on Tuesday.  I'm bringing some dishes, along with the other people in the office.  With some of our adjusters coming in from the field, we'll have about 20 guys to feed.  Gotta' work that into the plan, along with the Thursday Thanksgiving dinner with my family.  Also...as stressed as I've been about the weekend eating with Dwayne....it finally hit me today that I have a 4 day weekend coming up off of work.....4 days with Dwayne.  Oy. 

None of this is the end of the world...I know that.  It's just my own little stress bubble...a time when I really need to buckle down, focus, concentrate....and unfortunately, my mind wants to do the exact opposite.  I want to go to bed and have someone wake me up after New Year's.  My stomach hurts.  My head hurts.  I wish I could do more for Dwayne and my family.  I wish I made more money.  I wish I didn't have a food addiction.  I wish food was calorie-free.  I wish I didn't give a damn about weighing a deuce and a half.

But I do.  I do care.  I know what needs to be done.  I want to say that I'd be happy if I just manage to maintain this week...but that would be a lie.  I know what I'm capable of....which means I have it in me to see a loss this week IF I make myself do what needs to be done.  Wouldn't a loss on Thanksgiving week be a fantastic thing....especially knowing you'd be one of the few.  I've already heard several people say they're giving up til next week...and I heard a couple people say they're giving up til after Christmas.  I have lost and re-gained the same 25 effing lbs over the course of this year until I'm friggin' sick of it.  I'm sick of myself.  I'm sick of writing the same sh*t over and over.  It's time for a change.  A positive change.  I'm starting off the week on the heels of a 6 lb. loss.  Let's see if, in spite of everything going on, physicially...mentally...emotionally.....let's see if I can build on that loss.  Now THAT would give me a reason to smile.  :)

I hope each of you has a plan for Thanksgiving week.  Doesn't matter too much what it is...moderation, portion control...1 plate instead of your normal 3 plus leftovers....calorie counting...points counting....doesn't matter.  But you need to have SOME kind of plan.  If your plan is to wait until after the holidays, nix that plan right now and formulate a new one.  Care enough about yourself to not find yourself 20-30 lbs. heavier in 6 weeks.  Do what I'm going to do...one day at a time....the best choices you're able to make each day.  You just might amaze yourself.  :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Panic Mode

The weekend is here....time to panic.  This is where everything always goes downhill.  I go into every weekend with a "plan"...but rarely does it work out.  When you've got someone else involved in your wknds, things can go awry...and they usually do for me.  I have to weigh in for the challenge on Sunday morning.  Let's pray things go smoothly for me tomorrow and I can stay on track.  I think expecting myself to stay under 1200 on weekend days is, quite frankly, laughable.  The goal for me is going to be my maintenance calories, the ones I started the challenge with....1870.  Here's my food pics for the day...I have the calorie counts but just don't feel like posting it.  I came in under 1200 because I didn't eat all of my dinner.  My stomach has been in knots all day....I don't know why.

2 eggs, 1 egg white, 1/8 c. cheese, veggies

8 oz. shrimp on salad w/ 60 cals olive oil/vinaigrette dressing

Sweet potato

The sandwich platter that my supervisor picked up at Costco today for lunch for all of us....turkey, ham, roast beef sandwiches on croissants w/ cheese and mayo spreads.....this hurt, lol.  If you want to know if I ate any, see the shrimp salad above.  :)


1 c. 100 calorie Barilla pasta sauce with mushrooms, onions, bell peppers and spinach over 2 c. of spaghetti squash (42 cals/cup).

This is how much of my dinner that was left...stomach hurting today...couldn't eat anymore...but it was DELISH.

Have a good weekend everyone.  :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I'm So Stoopid

Guess what?  I forgot I have diabetes.  Since I've lost nearly 100 lbs, my #'s are normal now...so it makes you think you don't have it anymore.  My dr. corrected me on that one time.  Mine is hereditary...it is under control with my diet now...I no longer take any meds for it, but he told me I'll always "have it". 

Since my #'s have been normal, and are never in the high range anymore...I've discovered something I didn't know before.  Your sugar can also DROP....your #'s can go TOO LOW.  This doesn't happen often, but it has happened a couple of times.  It's been a while though, so it took me FOREVER to figure out what in the hell was wrong with me today.

It started with a headache....then I was dizzy....then I noticed my hands and feet were freezing.  I never freeze...in fact, they usually keep it WAY too warm in my office.  It wasn't until I was in the car and driving home that I put all 3 symptoms together....ding ding ding!!  My sugar was too low!!  I quickly calculated my calories for the day in my head....I had around 750 or so by 5pm.  Doh!!  Soooo sleepy driving home...knew I HAD to eat....was thinking I need to grab a pack of crackers or something, but had already passed the ONE gas station between work and home.  The only restaurants in the closes vicinity between work and home are a Red Lobster, a Dunkin' Donuts, Popeye's fried chicken, and a Chic-fil-A.  SHIT.

Thank God the commute home is usually only 20 mins or so.  Also glad that I already had dinner cooked and waiting in the frig.  I popped it in the microwave and ate.  That was about half an hour ago....still have a headache, still sleepy, and still freezing my ass off.  But now that I've eaten things will improve.  As of right now, I'm at 1093 cals for the day.  I need to decide if I'll spend another 100 cals on food or my usual decaf coffee w/ creamer.  I'm thinking food will be the smarter idea tonight.

1200 cals is enough for a diabetic...if you actually EAT.  The danger is letting too much time go between the meals.  I had lunch at 11am.  I had some baby carrots at 2pm.....but by 5pm, things had gone way downhill today.  I need to think more about spacing out my calories better.  My breakfast this morning was under 200.  Maybe I need to bulk that up to give myself a better start.  Who forgets they have diabetes????  Feeling pretty stoopid right now. 

These are awesome...tried them for the first time today after seeing them on someone else's blog.

Cooking breakfast...I do NOT do this every morning...I move too slow in the mornings.

See there....took too long to cook, so not enough time to eat before leaving home....took it to work and ate it at my desk.  :)

4 egg whites w/ a touch of mustard for color/flavor - 68 cals.
1/3 c. turkey sausage crumbles - 40 cals.
onions/mushrooms/bell peppers - 40 cals.
1/8 c. 2% cheese - 45 cals.

Breakfast total - 193 cals.

salad - 50 cals.
8 oz. shrimp sauteed in Pam olive oil cooking spray - 240 cals.
2 Tbsp. olive oil vinaigrette dressing - 60 cals.

Lunch total - 350 cals.

15 baby carrots - 45 cals.

6 oz. chicken breast - 180 cals.
a whole bag of Steamfresh veggies - 120 cals.
1 slice 2% American cheese - 45 cals.
1 Tbsp. Heinz 57 - 20 cals.

Dinner total - 365 cals.

Total for the day so far:  1093

I had 120 oz. of water at work today....drinking another 32 oz. glass right now.  Also had (4) 5 oz. c. of coffee at work. 

I was a lot hungrier today than I was yesterday.  I also didn't drink as much water today...that might have something to do with the fullness factor.  As far as the diabetes goes, filling yourself up with water is not the same as eating your food.  I'll space my calories out better tomorrow.  'Nite friends.  :)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Better Than I Thought

I'm sitting here, a little shocked....ok, a LOT shocked.  I've had dinner, ready to post my food pics for the day, was totaling everything, and I'm sitting at 991 calories for the day...and NOT HUNGRY.

Let me say that again....I'm under 1000 cals for the day and I'm not hungry.  My stomach is not growling. 

Ummm....I have no idea what's going on with me.  None.  My absolute best guess is that it has to do with the water/fluid intake throughout the day.  Yesterday I drank (5) 24 oz. glasses of water during my workday.  Today I drank (6) 24 oz. glasses at work, plus (3) 5 oz. cups of coffee w/ creamer.  So that's what?  About 144 oz. of water and 15 more oz in coffee.  Very interesting. 

I'm drinking another 32 oz glass of water right now as I type this post.  I'll end up with at least 200 oz. before I go to bed. 

I'll tell you the truth.  Knowing I have 200 calories left for the day makes me want to eat something else.  I'm not going to have food....but it does allow me to have a couple of cups of decaf coffee with creamer, for another 70 calories.  That's my wind-down thing in the evenings.  I didn't have it last night because I miscounted my calories and thought I was too close to 1200...didn't want to go over.  Turns out, I was a good bit under....came in around 1100-1125 last night.  Tonight, I'm having it.  While others are having a more substantial snack or dessert...I'm having decaf coffee w/ creamer.  It works for me.

Here's my food pics w/ calorie count for the day:

4 egg whites w/ a touch of mustard for color and flavor, mixed with 4 oz. chicken breast and 1/8 c. of 2% sharp cheddar cheese.  The baby ate an ounce of the chicken, so I counted it as 3 oz. for myself.

4 egg whites -  68 cals.
3 oz. chkn. breast -  90 cals.
1/8 c. 2% cheese -   45 cals.

11:00 am

Boneless pork rib -  200 cals.
Sweet potato -  103 cals.


I'm making a conscious effort to eat slowly.  This is how much of my lunch was left an hour after I started eating it.  I finished the rest of it sometime after noon.


Honeycrisp apple -  80 cals.

6:15 pm

6 oz. chkn. breast after the baby got some - 180 cals.
An ENTIRE bag of Steamfresh broccoli -  120 cals.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone who provided food tips and snack ideas...foods to keep you fuller, etc.  I always appreciate the ideas.  I will say that there will always be some convenience foods in my diet, like the Jimmy Dean bagels in my freezer....and there will always be pork..I'm a swine lover...that won't change.  I did happen to be OUT of veggies as of today, so I stopped by the grocery store on my way home and picked up some stuff to get me through the next few days. 

Allan suggested lots of salad.  I picked up 2 bags of the pre-made stuff, along with tomatoes, cucumbers and onions to go on top.  I ran out of baby carrots on Monday (those are a normal snack for me), so I picked up a big bag of those...along with some sweet potatoes that I am in love with.  The only fruit I had left was 2 apples, so I picked up 4 more tonight.  I also got some mushrooms, onions and bell peppers to mix with eggs in the morning so that EVERY breakfast isn't a convenient one.  :)

This will sound bad...but it's honest....ever since I started my blog, I've never been interested in the "health" part of this jouney....as far as matching proteins with carbs, eating what would be considered "diet" foods, etc.  The only thing I've been interested in is counting calories to get the weight off.  I eat fruits and vegetables because I like them.....not because I'm "trying to eat all the right diet foods".  I don't eat hardly any red meat...but that's not because I consider it a "bad" food in the diet world.  It's because it makes me feel like crap for 2-3 days.  I feel like I'm walking around with a rock in my stomach...it just takes too long to digest.  So I'm sure my food pics will make some people wince, like I'm sure my pork ribs did , lol....that's ok.  Just wanted to let everyone know that's reading that I will always welcome any food tips you want to share with me.  Some of them I'll use...some of them I probably won't.  As long as I'm within the calorie range I'm shooting for...I'm happy.  :)

Here's a pic of my loot from the grocery store:

I thawed and sauteed some shrimp tonight.  Will probably put this on my salad for lunch tomorrow.

That's 1 lb. of shrimp altogether - pre-cooked weight of course.  For this case, 1/2  a lb. in each bowl resulted in 17 shrimp.  At 30 cals an oz...that's 240 cals. 

I also went ahead and measured out 2 Tbsp of dressing to take for my salad tomorrow.  It's 60 cals. for 2 Tbsp.

So that's it for today guys!!!  Hope you're having a good evening.....time for me to go make some decaf.  :)

1200 Calorie Day Recap

Ok....so...I was going to try out 1200 calories yesterday and see what I thought.  The good news is I DID IT!!  And I'm still alive!!  lol  :)

So here's how the day went and how the calories broke down:

7am - Jimmy Dean D'Lite Breakfast Bagel w/ egg white, chz, turkey sausage    260 cals.
11am - One baked pork rib                                                                             200 cals.
            Medium sweet potato - no butter                                                         103 cals.
2pm - Honeycrisp apple                                                                                    80 cals.
During day I had (4) 5 oz. cups of coffee w/ 1 Tbsp creamer in ea.
The creamer is 35 cals per Tbsp                                                                      140 cals.
5:30p - 4 egg whites @ 17 cals. ea.                                                                   68 cals.
            1 slice 2% American cheese                                                                  45 cals.
7:00p - 2 grilled chicken thighs - no skin (5-6 oz. of meat off bone)                  180 cals.
             Medium sweet potato - no butter                                                        103 cals.

Total Calories:                                                                                               1149 cals.

Here's how the day went....I ate breakfast at 7am.  By 10:30 my stomach was growling audibly.  I finally fed it lunch at 11am.  I normally scarf down my food in 5-10 mins.  Yesterday, I purposely ate VERY slowly, putting my fork down inbetween (what a concept!), did some work at desk inbetween eating, and made the one rib and sweet potato last an hour...until 12pm.  It's amazing how much better food tastes when you eat mindfully because you know there's going to be less of it. 

By 2pm my stomach was growling audibly again...wow.  I ate an apple.  At 4pm I felt like my stomach was turning inside out, lol.  I emailed Allan and told him "This is hard.  You ROCK."  He's been staying around 1200 cals for like 6 months now I think....now that's commitment.  All during the day I consumed (4) 5 oz cups of coffee and (5) 24 oz. bottles of water to help stave off the hunger.  Stomach still growling.  Left work at 5pm, got home at 5:30p and ran to the kitchen to whip something up.  I made a cheese omelet with 4 egg whites and 1 pc. of 2% American cheese.  My baby had a couple of bites, so my calories are actually a little lower than I reported...maybe around 1100-1125?

Dwayne emailed me at work yesterday and wanted me and Scarlette to come to his house for dinner....said he was grilling steaks.  I told him I was trying 1200 cals today and already had my dinner planned....some grilled chicken that he cooked for me on Sunday night, and a sweet potato that I baked Sun night.  I told him he could grill a steak for himself and I'd bring over my chicken and sweet potato to stay on track.  I got to his house just as he was pulling 2 steaks off the grill.  He threw one in the frig and ate the other one with a loaf of crusty French bread.  Watching him eat the steak didn't phase me....watching him eat the crusty French breaad hurt like hell, lol.  But I didn't touch it.  I ate my chicken and sweet potato slowly and noticed something about 3/4 of the way through.  I was full.  Huh?  No way.  I can eat WAY more than this...and of course I finished it.  But full after so fewer calories than I normally eat during a day?  Totally weird and I have no explanation for it, other than maybe the water intake. 

After dinner we watched some TV and I drank (3) 16.9 oz bottles of water.  I headed home around 9pm and when I got home, I drank one more 32 oz. bottle of water before bed.  My total water consumption for the day was around 200 oz....with the coffee on top of that for even more liquids.  Actually....that's a TON of liquids, and probably had EVERYTHING to do w/ why I felt so full at dinner.  Yay.  :)

So....I did it...I made it through...I didn't die.  It got tough in the afternoon around 4p, but nothing I couldn't handle, so I'm going to do it again today.  One day at a time here...that's all I need to focus on.  I actually remembered to bring my camera this morning to work with me, so I'll be taking pics of today's food and will post it tomorrow morning with an update on Day 2.  Have a super day friends.  :)

*******SEAN hit goal yesterday at The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser!!!  Head on over there!!*******

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I'm going to try eating at 1200 calories today.  There are a few things I know about myself.  I still have obsessive food thoughts...eat when I'm not hungry..duh!  And I'm a volume eater, so even when I'm eating within my calorie range, I shoot for the lowest calorie foods so I can have more of them.  I'm at a desk for 9 1/2 hours during the day and that makes for a lot of idle time to snack. 

But I thought I'd try something different on Allan's challenge.  He eats around this number, and he's thrilled with his losses.  He never has a gain..he never maintains..he always loses, and it's caught my attention and stoked my curiosity.  I wonder if I could stick to 1200 cals/day?  I've never tried.  So I'm going to.

Mind you...if I start to feel like I'm going to cut loose and binge or something horrific like that, I'm taking it right back up to 1870...so we'll see.  You never know until you try.  :)

Monday, November 15, 2010

Challenge Pic

For Allan's challenge, we had to take a current pic of ourselves.  We didn't have to post it on our blog if we were uncomfortable or shy....but I'm not shy.  :)

If my ridiculous stomach would catch up to my collarbone, I'd be a happy girl.  :)

Off to a good start this morning...just can't remember to take the dang camera with me everywhere I go, so I'm forgetting to take all of my food pics.  Still writing down every calorie though and drinking all the water.  We did our first challenge weigh-in for Phase 2 after only 5 days.  I was down 1 lb.  I started at 249 last Tuesday, and weighed 248 Sunday morning.  One lb. off my a$$ is better than no pounds.  I'll take it. 

Have a great day friends.  :)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Superheroes: Sean and Stephen!!

I drove over to Alabama today and hung out with Sean from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser and Stephen from Who Ate My Blog?  I had a fabulous time....both of these guys are hilarious...cracked me up the whole time we were together.  It was a really awesome time and I can't wait til we can all get together again....hopefully in the spring if all goes right!  Stephen's already lost around 200 lbs...and in keeping with that amazingness, went for a 6 mile walk before we all met today (yay!) as he's working towards getting ready to walk a half marathon!!  I think he said it's in February... Go Stephen!!   Sean's expected to meet his goal weight of 230 lbs. on his next weigh-in this coming Tuesday....can't wait to read THAT post!  I took a ton of pics today so I'll post a few of them.  Enjoy! :)

I'm 5'10..it's very rare that I feel "short"...today was one of those times, lol.


The guys fooling with their cameras

Such a FUN guy!

Doesn't he have a fantastic smile?  He should...he's got a lot to smile about. :)

All of us fatties and former fatties can appreciate the room between the steering wheel and our tummies.  :)
Proud of you Sean!

Where's your cape?
(inside joke ;) )

Friday, November 12, 2010

Hanging In There

Even though yesterday got off to a rocky start, it ended well.  I was at 1850 cals for the day with my goal being 1870....and I had 130 oz. of water. 

I made egg muffins last night, so my breakfast is ready to go for the next few mornings.  Prepping/planning are key to getting this crap right, lol.  I'll be on the road tomorrow going to see Sean in Alabama and hang out with him and Stephen from Who Ate My Blog? for a couple of hours.  I'm going to try to get there an hour after Stephen, so they can have some visiting time by themselves first.  I know Stephen is just as excited to meet him as I am, so I don't want to totally crash his party.  That would be rude.  :) 

Gonna eat a couple of those egg muffins for breakfast, which are 114 cals each, and from there I have no idea how the rest of the day will go....nothing planned as yet for lunch and dinner....don't know where I'll be at lunchtime, and don't know what time I'll make it back home tomorrow afternoon.  Just concentrating on not going over 1870, and getting all my water in.  K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple Stupid.  One of my favorite sayings.  :)

Have a fabulous weekend friends! :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Meeting Sean This Saturday!

I'm excited!  Sean just called me about an hour ago and asked if I wanted to drive over to AL and visit with him this Sat!  Yay!  He became my weight loss mentor a year and a half ago, when I first started my blog.  I obviously haven't followed his example very well, but I've enjoyed every post and am constantly amazed by his commitment to consistency and making the weight loss THE most important thing in his life.  Very happy to finally get to meet him in person...we're gonna' have a great time!  :)

Rough Day Yesterday

Yesterday I picked up mom and took her to the funeral.  I was away from the house for 8 hours.  No food pics.  I had 350 cals before I left the house (tuna salad wraps), and then we had a wake after the funeral, which is more like a family reunion for my family, and there was a ton of food.  I had one big plate of food, and I'm pretty sure that wiped out my calories for the day.  I didn't eat again after I got home at 7:30p last night...so only 2 meals yesterday.  I did think about taking my camera, but it just felt too disrespectful. 

Off to a bad start this morning.  Running SERIOUSLY late...ran out the door w/ no breakfast and no camera.  Swung through McD's....and had way too many calories for breakfast.  I feel like my wagon is up on 2 wheels right now w/ such a crappy start to my day calorie-wise...but if it's nothing that can't be corrected if I pay attention to the rest of my choices today.  All it really means is I used the cals too early....and I'll be hungrier tonight...it's not the first time I've done this.  Tomorrow will be much better, because I'm actually going to take the time to PREPARE tonight...thinking of making some egg muffins in my cupcake pan for breakfast for the next few days....it will cover my Friday and take me right through the weekend, which is just what I need to help me with the weekend eating.  Preparing ahead of time really is the key for me to getting it right.  My mind's in the right place right now....at least for the moment...so I need to take full advantage of it by planning and prepping to stay ahead of the game. 

One more thing.  I chose not to drink any water before the funeral yesterday because I knew I had an hour and a half drive ahead of me....and didn't want to get up during the funeral to go to the restroom.  So when I got home at 7:30p last night I immediately filled up my 32 oz water glass.....and I drank 3 1//2 of those between 7:30 and midnight.  I also drank an 8 oz. cup of hot tea.  So that's what...about 120 oz of liquid yesterday?  Hooray.  :)  Of course, I was up peeing all night, so no wonder I didn't get good rest and ended up oversleeping and nearly making myself late for work.  Duh. 

Anyhoo...today's off to a rough start, but I'm going to level it out as the day goes on, and will end up within my calorie goal of 1870 cals by night's end.  I'm glad tomorrow is Friday...I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend.  :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Petite Buffalo Chicken Lasagna Recipe

Lots of people asked for the recipe for the mini lasagna, so here's some step by step pics. 

Here's the ingredients:
wonton wrappers
boiled chicken breasts, shredded, mixed with Texas Pete
2% mozzarella cheese
part skim ricotta cheese, mixed with Italian seasonings
Classico Light Alfredo sauce
Barilla marinara sauce
Blue cheese crumbles

Spray pan with cooking spray and press one wonton wrapper inside each hole.  Add 1 Tbsp of ricotta cheese mixed with Italian seasonings.

Next, add 1 Tbsp of lite Alfredo sauce, then top with one ounce of shredden buffalo chicken and sprinkle blue cheese crumbles on top...I didn't measure the cheese exactly but tried to keep it around 1 Tbsp.

Place second wontop wrapper on top and smoosh down.

Add about 1/2 an ounce of chicken on second layer.

Top chicken with 1 Tbsp. of marinara, followed by 1/8 c. of 2% mozzarella cheese.

Bake at 375 degrees for 10 mins.

Calorie Breakdown:

1.5 oz. chicken w/ buffalo sauce - 60 cals
2 wonton wrappers - 40 cals
1/8 c. 2% mozzarella - 35 cals
1 Tbsp marinara (guesstimate) - 15 cals
1 Tbsp. lite alfredo - 15 cals
(I think the jar of Alfredo said 60 cals for 1/4 c)
1 Tbsp. blue cheese crumbles - 30 cals

Total cals for 1 mini - 195


First day of the challenge was pretty easy....I say pretty easy, because as I sit here writing this post right now, I'm thinking about the leftover rotisserie chicken in the frig, lol.  But I'm at 1863 cals for the day..and not supposed to go over 1870, so it's time to quit eating for the night.  I've had 126 oz. of water today and I am DONE with the bladder torture until tomorrow....which will be interesting, beings that I'll be making a 1 1/2 hr commute each way to the funeral...then sitting through the funeral and graveside service....who wants to get up 5x and pee during a funeral???/  Tomorrow should be....interesting.

2 boiled eggs for breakfast - 150 cals

Honeycrisp apple (don't you love the fluorescent lighting at work??)
80 cals

Tuna salad is 285 cals, made with Star Kist chunk light tuna, one boiled egg, 2 Tbsp of Kraft Lite mayo, a little chopped dill pickles and onion.

Low-carb wheat wraps are La Tortilla Factory and 50 cals each, so 100 cals total for those.

I had to run to Publix to pick up some stuff for the dinner I was giving my sister for her birthday tonight.  I grabbed a pre-made Cuban sandwich out of their deli....I'm ballparking this at 600 cals.

Here's what all I made/had for dinner:

A simple salad made with romaine hearts, cucumbers, tomatoes and onions.

I bought a rotisserie chicken...didn't think the kids would like the buffalo chicken in the lasagna.  I was right, lol.

Buffalo Chicken Lasagna that I made last night and re-heated in the oven tonight.  My sister loved these.  I sent 4 home with her, and kept 2 in the frig for myself...will probably eat them some time tomorrow.

Sauteed baby portabello mushrooms in 2 Tbsp of olive oil.

Zucchini and fresh salsa roasted together in the oven.  Amy really loved this, too.

Garlic/cheese bread that I bought at the Publix bakery and heated in the oven.

Publix makes the BEST birthday cakes, but I couldn't afford to buy one for Amy.  I had to settle for making her a box of walnut brownies that I've had in the pantry for about 6 months, lol.  Duncan Hines saved the day. :)

Now....for a picture of my dinner plate, and the last meal of the day.

Huge salad w/ 2 Tbsp of Olive Oil vinaigrette dressing, 1 c. of zucchini/salsa, about a cup of mushrooms, and a rotisserie chicken breast.

no lasagna
no garlic/cheese bread

I estimated this plate to be around 400 cals, which is just about how much I had left for the day.

 I had 126 oz. of water and (3) 5 oz. cups of coffee w/ creamer...and yes, I counted the creamer.  1 Tbsp in each cup, for 35 cals per Tbsp, so 105 cals on creamer this morning.

I'll leave you with some pics of my sister, niece and nephew.  :)

Amy's wearing the hat and scarf I bought her for her birthday

Carla was jealous, so she stole the gifts from her mom, lol.  She BEGGED me to go to the store TOMORROW and PLEASE, PLEASE buy her one JUST LIKE IT for her for Christmas.  And it MUST be blue.  NOT PINK.  BLUE...like her Mom's.  :)

Carla says that she's Scarlette's best friend.  Too precious.  :)

My cutie patootie nephew, Cyress

Can you see the brownie evidence left on his face?  :)

Have a good night friends.  :)