Tuesday, November 30, 2010
That's What I Thought
I reported a gain of 8 lbs this week, weighing in on Sunday at 250 lbs, and reported it in my last post. I didn't freak out about it, because I knew it was mostly due to my cycle....which is still going strong this morning. Nothing like the feeling of an elephant tap dancing on your ovaries. I also knew part of it was due to some serious sodium ingestion from eating every meal out for 2 days while Christmas shopping with Dwayne on Friday and Saturday. I knew that I made decent choices in the restaurants...for example, we went to Marietta Fish Market on Friday. Dwayne had the fried flounder sandwich and I chose grilled grouper. After 2 good days of being on plan and drinking ALL of my water both days, I hopped back on the scale this morning. Back down to 246...just as I thought, the sodium is releasing, and I'm back to dealing with the cycle gain as expected. I can NOT wait til this wknd gets here so I can start feeling back to normal and not like a puffer fish. :)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I've Got Mad Skillz
Today was weigh-in day for the Allan's challenge and I gained 8 lbs. How's that for talented? Here's a recap of my awesome weekend...
Thanksgiving was a success. I went to Mom's for a couple of hours, ate 1 moderate plate, plus one more spoon of potato salad. There was turtle cheesecake, pecan pie and pumpkin pies for dessert...I had one teensy bite of my sister's cheesecake and that was IT for my dessert. The only leftovers I brought home for myself was a small bit of turkey. Extremely proud of myself....extremely.
As you all know, I struggle w/ a monstrous, painful cycle 2 weeks out of every 4 weeks, every single month. I have PCOS. The only "cure" for it is to lose a massive amount of weight. Ha.
I started my cycle last Sunday night...weighing in at 242 that morning for the challenge. By Tuesday morning I had full-on bloat and the scale said 246....I ate 1800 cals that Sun, and 1200 that Monday....so I knew the 4 lb. gain was all water, and I wasn't upset over it....just felt like sh*t, physically. The next time I got on the scale was Friday morning, after Thanksgiving dinner. I was 246 lbs...no change.
Moving onto Friday and Saturday. Dwayne and I had a fantastic time together this weekend. We shopped for 6-7 hours on Friday, and another 6 hours of shopping on Saturday, and we ate EVERY meal in a restaurant for 2 days. Water? What's water? I drank almost none. Instead, I've had 2 Cokes, too much of the 60 calorie, no sugar added, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, and lots of coffee w/ creamer....with a little water thrown in.
I'm in mid-cycle now...one week down, one week to go...and this is the point where my mood normally goes downhill very fast. Still having terrible cramps....major lower back and ovary pain....and I'm sooo over it, but can't do anything about it for another week. However, my happiness from my weekend with Dwayne is actually overriding the normal bad mood and bad attitude that mid-cycle always provides.
He helped me with some Christmas shopping money....we found some fantastic sales....he bought me some new clothes that I've desperately needed., etc. Dwayne doesn't follow a budget, he just buys whatever, whenever. His last phone was $300. Well it finally died Saturday, so he ran to the store to get a new one. Following MY budgeting skills (finally!).....he chose $150 phone instead of the $300 one. I was quite impressed and happy that he's paying closer attention to his money. He was out doing some of his own Christmas shopping, while I was out buying the clothes he gave me money for, and hitting some different sales for Christmas shopping on my own. After 6 hours, we met back up at home and he told me about the phone. He knows that I always buy the least expensive phone I can find in the store. The last one I bought was $80...and it works just fine. He told me he say a $100 phone on sale for $50 and really wanted to buy it for me as an early Christmas present.....so back out we went and bought the phone. It was very sweet of him...and I'm thrilled with a few new tops, 2 new pair of pants, a new pair of shoes, and a new phone.
We decorated our little apt together this weekend for Christmas and it's just adorable. I found a CD at the Dollar Store....the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra...and it's playing quietly in the background. The lights on the tree are twinkling....and despite the cramps....I am happy.
Am I bothered by the 8 lb. gain? Sure...of course I am. But I am not wallowing in guilt over it. I know that getting back to drinking 180-200 oz. of water a day will take care of a lot of it.....my cycle ending next weekend will take care of some more of it. And I've had such a good weekend with Dwayne and Scarlette that this just happens to trump any bad feelings I have over that gain. I know I didn't gain 8 lbs. of fat...I know what I did wrong w/ ingesting so much sodium in the restaurant foods and drinking next to no water...so I know how to turn it around. I also know I set a plan for my Thanksgiving dinner....one of moderation...and I stuck to it. For that, I am extremely proud.
More shopping today....we're heading out shortly....and then it's back to business. I hope everyone else is having a fabulous weekend, too. :)
Thanksgiving was a success. I went to Mom's for a couple of hours, ate 1 moderate plate, plus one more spoon of potato salad. There was turtle cheesecake, pecan pie and pumpkin pies for dessert...I had one teensy bite of my sister's cheesecake and that was IT for my dessert. The only leftovers I brought home for myself was a small bit of turkey. Extremely proud of myself....extremely.
As you all know, I struggle w/ a monstrous, painful cycle 2 weeks out of every 4 weeks, every single month. I have PCOS. The only "cure" for it is to lose a massive amount of weight. Ha.
I started my cycle last Sunday night...weighing in at 242 that morning for the challenge. By Tuesday morning I had full-on bloat and the scale said 246....I ate 1800 cals that Sun, and 1200 that Monday....so I knew the 4 lb. gain was all water, and I wasn't upset over it....just felt like sh*t, physically. The next time I got on the scale was Friday morning, after Thanksgiving dinner. I was 246 lbs...no change.
Moving onto Friday and Saturday. Dwayne and I had a fantastic time together this weekend. We shopped for 6-7 hours on Friday, and another 6 hours of shopping on Saturday, and we ate EVERY meal in a restaurant for 2 days. Water? What's water? I drank almost none. Instead, I've had 2 Cokes, too much of the 60 calorie, no sugar added, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, and lots of coffee w/ creamer....with a little water thrown in.
I'm in mid-cycle now...one week down, one week to go...and this is the point where my mood normally goes downhill very fast. Still having terrible cramps....major lower back and ovary pain....and I'm sooo over it, but can't do anything about it for another week. However, my happiness from my weekend with Dwayne is actually overriding the normal bad mood and bad attitude that mid-cycle always provides.
He helped me with some Christmas shopping money....we found some fantastic sales....he bought me some new clothes that I've desperately needed., etc. Dwayne doesn't follow a budget, he just buys whatever, whenever. His last phone was $300. Well it finally died Saturday, so he ran to the store to get a new one. Following MY budgeting skills (finally!).....he chose $150 phone instead of the $300 one. I was quite impressed and happy that he's paying closer attention to his money. He was out doing some of his own Christmas shopping, while I was out buying the clothes he gave me money for, and hitting some different sales for Christmas shopping on my own. After 6 hours, we met back up at home and he told me about the phone. He knows that I always buy the least expensive phone I can find in the store. The last one I bought was $80...and it works just fine. He told me he say a $100 phone on sale for $50 and really wanted to buy it for me as an early Christmas present.....so back out we went and bought the phone. It was very sweet of him...and I'm thrilled with a few new tops, 2 new pair of pants, a new pair of shoes, and a new phone.
We decorated our little apt together this weekend for Christmas and it's just adorable. I found a CD at the Dollar Store....the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra...and it's playing quietly in the background. The lights on the tree are twinkling....and despite the cramps....I am happy.
Am I bothered by the 8 lb. gain? Sure...of course I am. But I am not wallowing in guilt over it. I know that getting back to drinking 180-200 oz. of water a day will take care of a lot of it.....my cycle ending next weekend will take care of some more of it. And I've had such a good weekend with Dwayne and Scarlette that this just happens to trump any bad feelings I have over that gain. I know I didn't gain 8 lbs. of fat...I know what I did wrong w/ ingesting so much sodium in the restaurant foods and drinking next to no water...so I know how to turn it around. I also know I set a plan for my Thanksgiving dinner....one of moderation...and I stuck to it. For that, I am extremely proud.
More shopping today....we're heading out shortly....and then it's back to business. I hope everyone else is having a fabulous weekend, too. :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Up 4 lbs...and Doing Ok
My original title to this post was Up 4 lbs...and Happy. Then I erased "happy" and just put "doing ok". I can never really say I'm "happy" when I'm only 3 days into a nearly 2 week cycle. Physically, I feel like crap...a lot of pain and heaviness and general "yuck" feeling. However....the reason I'm ok with being up 4 lbs is I know it's ALL from the cycle bloat. Every time I start, I'm up 4-5 lbs within a couple of days. I've been tracking it long enough to know now. I may not especially like it, but it doesn't piss me off like it used to.
My goal for weekend calories is the goal I started this challenge with...to eat at the calorie level that I willbe stuck with have when I reach my goal weight. I am 5'10 and my goal weight is 170 lbs, so my maintenance level is 1870 cals. I weighed in at 242 lbs. Sunday morning. By the afternoon the serious cramping had started and I knew what I was in for. I came in right at 1800 cals. on Sunday. On Monday I came in at 1200 cals on the nose. I've also drank all of my liquids...water and coffee. I knew when I woke up Tuesday morning that I had full bloating going on. I hopped on the scale to confirm it...yep...246 lbs.
Monday night I had a few things to cook for our Thanksgiving luncheon at work. I was up pretty late making broccoli, cheese and rice casserole....bread stuffing....baking sweet potatoes and making a sweet potato bake with them, baked a pumpkin roll w/ pecans and cream cheese filling....plus 2 loads of dishes through the dishwasher. Tuesday morning I got up at 5am and made a pan of baked mac 'n' chz....took down all of my Fall decorations, packed them up and loaded them along with all the food into the car.
Got to work and we set up everything buffet style....with the racks and the pans with the water in the bottom, setting the smaller food pans inside, with lit Sterno underneath. Decorated the tables and the office, lit some seasonal candles....and everyone showed up to eat at 12:30p. My plan was the same plan I have for Thanksgiving at Mom's house on Thursday. One plate w/o any major piling....not the 2-3 plates I would normally eat....and no leftovers going home. (I had one of those 230 cal. Jimmy Dean breakfast bowls at 7am).
Billie and Staci also cooked food for our get together, and some people brought in some store bought items as well. Here's what all we had yesterday:
Baked mac 'n' chz
Broccoli, cheese and rice casserole
Bread Stuffing
Sweet Potato Bake
Cornbread Dressing
Gravy
Turkey Breast (Boston Market)
Ham (Honey Baked Hams)
Deviled Eggs
Green Bean Casserole
Asparagus
Corn Souffle
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Pumpkin pies
Petit Fours
Truffles
Chocolate-dipped strawberries
Carrot Cake
Cheesecake
Pumpkin Roll
Hawaiian rolls
Parker House rolls
I did almost exactly as planned. I had one moderate plate w/ turkey, a tiny piece of ham, and a small spoon of the broccoli & rice, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole (less than 1/2 c. each). One deviled egg & 1 roll. And then a spoon of my sweet potato bake that served as my dessert. That's it...didn't touch the rest of the stuff on the buffet table or dessert table. For a Thanksgiving meal, this is moderation for me and I'm proud of it. The "almost" part comes in with taking a small bowl of leftovers home for dinner. After 5 hours of sleep the night before and being busy all day I was exhausted and there was no way I was cooking. Not at all. I put some food in a small tupperware bowl...it equaled less than the amt of food I ate at lunch, plus it was shared with Scarlette. I felt good about the day...but just to make sure my thinking wasn't too skewed, I got on the scale again this morning. Said the same thing....246 lbs...no gain, not even from sodium. Apparently I didn't eat enough of the casseroles for the sodium in them to affect me, and that's awesome.
Also, after doing so well with my plan of moderation yesterday....I'm not near as worried about eating at Mom's now. If I did well yesterday, I'll do well again tomorrow. It also helps that I keep thinking of Allan's phrase in my mind..."first it's food, then it's poop"...lol. Kind of simplifies things, while also taking some of the allure away. :)
I totally meant to take pics yesterday, but just forgot my camera with the rush of getting all the decos and food in the car and getting to work. I did remember it this morning though, and I'm shooting for another 1200 calorie day today. I took a pic of my breakfast....a Jimmy Dean breakfast bagel...and will post it along with my other food pics from the day later tonight.
By the way....regarding the 1200 calorie/day thing I'm doing right now....this is not for life. It may not last through next week. I don't know. I'm just messing around with different stuff right now. I intrigued myself the first day I actually did it w/o starving to death and that made me want to do it again the next day. Then I got on the scale and started to see the #'s drop after only 2 days, and that fueled my fascination. I ended up with a 6 lb. loss last week and it was worth dealing with the hungry feelings most of the week. I had one weird day last week where I was under the 1200 and wasn't hungry. Not sure what was up with that, but the honest revelation about the rest of the week is that 1200 a day is damn hard to stick to. Most days you ARE hungry...and it sucks. Nobody likes that feeling. But I'm trying to keep that in perspective, and Allan is helping with that, too. He talks about starving people in third world countries....and what do we really have to complain about? The little bit of hunger you have to deal with at 1200 cals isn't even worth mentioning when you think of it in those terms. So....I'll do the 1200 cals/day for as long as I feel like torturing myself a little....as long as I continue to be amazed by the fact that I'm actually being this regimented....and also amazed with the scale results.
I can go back to 1870 cals/day...the original rules of this challenge...whenever I feel like it. Still just taking it day by day....one day at a time seems to work best for me. My brain can't handle looking too far down the road. So far, Sun-Tues have been good days....I'm a little anxious about the next 4 days being spent with Dwayne thanks to the 4-day holiday weekend. Those will most probably be 1870 days....I don't even want to TRY to stay at 1200 when I'm around him. My head might explode from all THAT stress and I'm not even going there.
I hope you all have your Thanksgiving plans firmly in place. Don't be too anxious....it's just food, and then it's poop. :) Enjoy your loved ones friends...and I'll be back later tonight with food pics. :)
Oh! And Allan offered us a "No Coddling" badge for Friday....the day after the Thanksgiving, and most assuredly where we'll be reading about all of those people who did NOT stick to their plan....or who flat out chose to eat as they normally would...with no diet in mind. I don't judge....it's up to each person how fast and in what way they want to lose their weight....it's none of my business...and I'm not cool with judging peoople for ANY reason. With that said, I don't think I'll be coddling people either to make them feel better afterwards. We're all going to make conscious decisions at the Thanksgiving table...and we all get to own them on Friday...and again on weigh day....including myself. Here's my badge:
My goal for weekend calories is the goal I started this challenge with...to eat at the calorie level that I will
Monday night I had a few things to cook for our Thanksgiving luncheon at work. I was up pretty late making broccoli, cheese and rice casserole....bread stuffing....baking sweet potatoes and making a sweet potato bake with them, baked a pumpkin roll w/ pecans and cream cheese filling....plus 2 loads of dishes through the dishwasher. Tuesday morning I got up at 5am and made a pan of baked mac 'n' chz....took down all of my Fall decorations, packed them up and loaded them along with all the food into the car.
Got to work and we set up everything buffet style....with the racks and the pans with the water in the bottom, setting the smaller food pans inside, with lit Sterno underneath. Decorated the tables and the office, lit some seasonal candles....and everyone showed up to eat at 12:30p. My plan was the same plan I have for Thanksgiving at Mom's house on Thursday. One plate w/o any major piling....not the 2-3 plates I would normally eat....and no leftovers going home. (I had one of those 230 cal. Jimmy Dean breakfast bowls at 7am).
Billie and Staci also cooked food for our get together, and some people brought in some store bought items as well. Here's what all we had yesterday:
Baked mac 'n' chz
Broccoli, cheese and rice casserole
Bread Stuffing
Sweet Potato Bake
Cornbread Dressing
Gravy
Turkey Breast (Boston Market)
Ham (Honey Baked Hams)
Deviled Eggs
Green Bean Casserole
Asparagus
Corn Souffle
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Pumpkin pies
Petit Fours
Truffles
Chocolate-dipped strawberries
Carrot Cake
Cheesecake
Pumpkin Roll
Hawaiian rolls
Parker House rolls
I did almost exactly as planned. I had one moderate plate w/ turkey, a tiny piece of ham, and a small spoon of the broccoli & rice, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole (less than 1/2 c. each). One deviled egg & 1 roll. And then a spoon of my sweet potato bake that served as my dessert. That's it...didn't touch the rest of the stuff on the buffet table or dessert table. For a Thanksgiving meal, this is moderation for me and I'm proud of it. The "almost" part comes in with taking a small bowl of leftovers home for dinner. After 5 hours of sleep the night before and being busy all day I was exhausted and there was no way I was cooking. Not at all. I put some food in a small tupperware bowl...it equaled less than the amt of food I ate at lunch, plus it was shared with Scarlette. I felt good about the day...but just to make sure my thinking wasn't too skewed, I got on the scale again this morning. Said the same thing....246 lbs...no gain, not even from sodium. Apparently I didn't eat enough of the casseroles for the sodium in them to affect me, and that's awesome.
Also, after doing so well with my plan of moderation yesterday....I'm not near as worried about eating at Mom's now. If I did well yesterday, I'll do well again tomorrow. It also helps that I keep thinking of Allan's phrase in my mind..."first it's food, then it's poop"...lol. Kind of simplifies things, while also taking some of the allure away. :)
I totally meant to take pics yesterday, but just forgot my camera with the rush of getting all the decos and food in the car and getting to work. I did remember it this morning though, and I'm shooting for another 1200 calorie day today. I took a pic of my breakfast....a Jimmy Dean breakfast bagel...and will post it along with my other food pics from the day later tonight.
By the way....regarding the 1200 calorie/day thing I'm doing right now....this is not for life. It may not last through next week. I don't know. I'm just messing around with different stuff right now. I intrigued myself the first day I actually did it w/o starving to death and that made me want to do it again the next day. Then I got on the scale and started to see the #'s drop after only 2 days, and that fueled my fascination. I ended up with a 6 lb. loss last week and it was worth dealing with the hungry feelings most of the week. I had one weird day last week where I was under the 1200 and wasn't hungry. Not sure what was up with that, but the honest revelation about the rest of the week is that 1200 a day is damn hard to stick to. Most days you ARE hungry...and it sucks. Nobody likes that feeling. But I'm trying to keep that in perspective, and Allan is helping with that, too. He talks about starving people in third world countries....and what do we really have to complain about? The little bit of hunger you have to deal with at 1200 cals isn't even worth mentioning when you think of it in those terms. So....I'll do the 1200 cals/day for as long as I feel like torturing myself a little....as long as I continue to be amazed by the fact that I'm actually being this regimented....and also amazed with the scale results.
I can go back to 1870 cals/day...the original rules of this challenge...whenever I feel like it. Still just taking it day by day....one day at a time seems to work best for me. My brain can't handle looking too far down the road. So far, Sun-Tues have been good days....I'm a little anxious about the next 4 days being spent with Dwayne thanks to the 4-day holiday weekend. Those will most probably be 1870 days....I don't even want to TRY to stay at 1200 when I'm around him. My head might explode from all THAT stress and I'm not even going there.
I hope you all have your Thanksgiving plans firmly in place. Don't be too anxious....it's just food, and then it's poop. :) Enjoy your loved ones friends...and I'll be back later tonight with food pics. :)
Oh! And Allan offered us a "No Coddling" badge for Friday....the day after the Thanksgiving, and most assuredly where we'll be reading about all of those people who did NOT stick to their plan....or who flat out chose to eat as they normally would...with no diet in mind. I don't judge....it's up to each person how fast and in what way they want to lose their weight....it's none of my business...and I'm not cool with judging peoople for ANY reason. With that said, I don't think I'll be coddling people either to make them feel better afterwards. We're all going to make conscious decisions at the Thanksgiving table...and we all get to own them on Friday...and again on weigh day....including myself. Here's my badge:
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday's Food Pics
I'm busy cooking for our Thanksgiving luncheon at work tomorrow so this will be a quick post.
Breakfast - 230 cals.
Salad w/ grilled chicken and light blue cheese dressing - 350 cals.
Sweet potato - 103 cals.
Apple - 80 cals.
Dwayne took the day off and I knew he'd be at home waiting on dinner. I picked up a rotisserie chicken and made him some noodles when I got home. I just had some of the chicken...nothing else. I came in right at 1200 cals. today. I've had 154 oz. of water...(4) 5 oz. c. of coffee and 2 mugs of hot tea. Another good day in the books. 'Nite friends. :)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thanksgiving Week? Really???
Warning...I'm in a crappy mood. Glad we got that out of the way. :)
I did the first week of Allan's Phase 2 challenge. My goal was to stay at or under 1870 cals/day. I decided to try out 1200 cals/day and drink 200 oz. of water for a few days this week...I think it was Tues-Fri...I don't remember now. My goal for the weekends is to follow the original allotted cals/day...1870. Sat I came in at 1700. This week was a total success. I lost 6 lbs. I went from 248 last Sun to 242 this morning. Yay. lol....
Seriously....I've been trying to be happy about this all day. I've been looking forward to it...I wanted to jump up and down. But I can't. I started my cycle today and I know it's here for almost 2 weeks. Yes...I bitch about this every month...and will probably continue to, since I post about my daily life here...not just weight loss. My cramps are soooo much like contractions. They just double me over in pain. My mood goes right in the toilet....but to ADD to the normal b.s....it's on Thanksgiving week...the week when things are going to get REALLY busy and stay that way pretty much through the end of the year.
I've been looking at my budget for Christmas shopping for my family. I bought my 5 nieces and nephews a few things from the Dollar Store. They're all under the age of 5 so I can get away with it w/o too much guilt. Now I'm looking at the budget for my 2 sisters, bro-in-law, mom, dad...and of course Dwayne and Scarlette. My parents and Dwayne are the ones that I really feel sad about. I am EXTREMELY THANKFUL for my job. I was out of work for nearly a year and a half after getting laid off from my last Accounting job. I have not forgotten how much living on the gov't cheese SUCKED. I have not forgotten the depression of feeling like life had forgotten me, while sitting inside my house, day after day, praying that someone would choose my resume out of the thousands that were just as desperate as I was. I have not forgotten. With that said...I make very little money. I make $1/hr more an hour than I made on unemployment...and w/ Shane (my old roommate) getting married...the bills are HIGHER than they were on unemployment. If it wasn't for the Zoloft, I'd be in tears every day like I was. I'm not crying...but boy is the stress there. I want to get stuff for my parents and Dwayne...the most special people in my life, because they've always done so much for me and they deserve something nice in return. I love them so much...and Christmas is that time of year that you get a chance to really say "thank you". I've always been one of those that got so much out of the giving...caring very little about the receiving. My budget is scarce...and it stresses me and makes me sad. It's moreso when the damn monthly cycle kicks in, so this is where my head is out right now.
I found out we're having a Thanksgiving dinner at work this week on Tuesday. I'm bringing some dishes, along with the other people in the office. With some of our adjusters coming in from the field, we'll have about 20 guys to feed. Gotta' work that into the plan, along with the Thursday Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Also...as stressed as I've been about the weekend eating with Dwayne....it finally hit me today that I have a 4 day weekend coming up off of work.....4 days with Dwayne. Oy.
None of this is the end of the world...I know that. It's just my own little stress bubble...a time when I really need to buckle down, focus, concentrate....and unfortunately, my mind wants to do the exact opposite. I want to go to bed and have someone wake me up after New Year's. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I wish I could do more for Dwayne and my family. I wish I made more money. I wish I didn't have a food addiction. I wish food was calorie-free. I wish I didn't give a damn about weighing a deuce and a half.
But I do. I do care. I know what needs to be done. I want to say that I'd be happy if I just manage to maintain this week...but that would be a lie. I know what I'm capable of....which means I have it in me to see a loss this week IF I make myself do what needs to be done. Wouldn't a loss on Thanksgiving week be a fantastic thing....especially knowing you'd be one of the few. I've already heard several people say they're giving up til next week...and I heard a couple people say they're giving up til after Christmas. I have lost and re-gained the same 25 effing lbs over the course of this year until I'm friggin' sick of it. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of writing the same sh*t over and over. It's time for a change. A positive change. I'm starting off the week on the heels of a 6 lb. loss. Let's see if, in spite of everything going on, physicially...mentally...emotionally.....let's see if I can build on that loss. Now THAT would give me a reason to smile. :)
I hope each of you has a plan for Thanksgiving week. Doesn't matter too much what it is...moderation, portion control...1 plate instead of your normal 3 plus leftovers....calorie counting...points counting....doesn't matter. But you need to have SOME kind of plan. If your plan is to wait until after the holidays, nix that plan right now and formulate a new one. Care enough about yourself to not find yourself 20-30 lbs. heavier in 6 weeks. Do what I'm going to do...one day at a time....the best choices you're able to make each day. You just might amaze yourself. :)
I did the first week of Allan's Phase 2 challenge. My goal was to stay at or under 1870 cals/day. I decided to try out 1200 cals/day and drink 200 oz. of water for a few days this week...I think it was Tues-Fri...I don't remember now. My goal for the weekends is to follow the original allotted cals/day...1870. Sat I came in at 1700. This week was a total success. I lost 6 lbs. I went from 248 last Sun to 242 this morning. Yay. lol....
Seriously....I've been trying to be happy about this all day. I've been looking forward to it...I wanted to jump up and down. But I can't. I started my cycle today and I know it's here for almost 2 weeks. Yes...I bitch about this every month...and will probably continue to, since I post about my daily life here...not just weight loss. My cramps are soooo much like contractions. They just double me over in pain. My mood goes right in the toilet....but to ADD to the normal b.s....it's on Thanksgiving week...the week when things are going to get REALLY busy and stay that way pretty much through the end of the year.
I've been looking at my budget for Christmas shopping for my family. I bought my 5 nieces and nephews a few things from the Dollar Store. They're all under the age of 5 so I can get away with it w/o too much guilt. Now I'm looking at the budget for my 2 sisters, bro-in-law, mom, dad...and of course Dwayne and Scarlette. My parents and Dwayne are the ones that I really feel sad about. I am EXTREMELY THANKFUL for my job. I was out of work for nearly a year and a half after getting laid off from my last Accounting job. I have not forgotten how much living on the gov't cheese SUCKED. I have not forgotten the depression of feeling like life had forgotten me, while sitting inside my house, day after day, praying that someone would choose my resume out of the thousands that were just as desperate as I was. I have not forgotten. With that said...I make very little money. I make $1/hr more an hour than I made on unemployment...and w/ Shane (my old roommate) getting married...the bills are HIGHER than they were on unemployment. If it wasn't for the Zoloft, I'd be in tears every day like I was. I'm not crying...but boy is the stress there. I want to get stuff for my parents and Dwayne...the most special people in my life, because they've always done so much for me and they deserve something nice in return. I love them so much...and Christmas is that time of year that you get a chance to really say "thank you". I've always been one of those that got so much out of the giving...caring very little about the receiving. My budget is scarce...and it stresses me and makes me sad. It's moreso when the damn monthly cycle kicks in, so this is where my head is out right now.
I found out we're having a Thanksgiving dinner at work this week on Tuesday. I'm bringing some dishes, along with the other people in the office. With some of our adjusters coming in from the field, we'll have about 20 guys to feed. Gotta' work that into the plan, along with the Thursday Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Also...as stressed as I've been about the weekend eating with Dwayne....it finally hit me today that I have a 4 day weekend coming up off of work.....4 days with Dwayne. Oy.
None of this is the end of the world...I know that. It's just my own little stress bubble...a time when I really need to buckle down, focus, concentrate....and unfortunately, my mind wants to do the exact opposite. I want to go to bed and have someone wake me up after New Year's. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I wish I could do more for Dwayne and my family. I wish I made more money. I wish I didn't have a food addiction. I wish food was calorie-free. I wish I didn't give a damn about weighing a deuce and a half.
But I do. I do care. I know what needs to be done. I want to say that I'd be happy if I just manage to maintain this week...but that would be a lie. I know what I'm capable of....which means I have it in me to see a loss this week IF I make myself do what needs to be done. Wouldn't a loss on Thanksgiving week be a fantastic thing....especially knowing you'd be one of the few. I've already heard several people say they're giving up til next week...and I heard a couple people say they're giving up til after Christmas. I have lost and re-gained the same 25 effing lbs over the course of this year until I'm friggin' sick of it. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of writing the same sh*t over and over. It's time for a change. A positive change. I'm starting off the week on the heels of a 6 lb. loss. Let's see if, in spite of everything going on, physicially...mentally...emotionally.....let's see if I can build on that loss. Now THAT would give me a reason to smile. :)
I hope each of you has a plan for Thanksgiving week. Doesn't matter too much what it is...moderation, portion control...1 plate instead of your normal 3 plus leftovers....calorie counting...points counting....doesn't matter. But you need to have SOME kind of plan. If your plan is to wait until after the holidays, nix that plan right now and formulate a new one. Care enough about yourself to not find yourself 20-30 lbs. heavier in 6 weeks. Do what I'm going to do...one day at a time....the best choices you're able to make each day. You just might amaze yourself. :)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Panic Mode
The weekend is here....time to panic. This is where everything always goes downhill. I go into every weekend with a "plan"...but rarely does it work out. When you've got someone else involved in your wknds, things can go awry...and they usually do for me. I have to weigh in for the challenge on Sunday morning. Let's pray things go smoothly for me tomorrow and I can stay on track. I think expecting myself to stay under 1200 on weekend days is, quite frankly, laughable. The goal for me is going to be my maintenance calories, the ones I started the challenge with....1870. Here's my food pics for the day...I have the calorie counts but just don't feel like posting it. I came in under 1200 because I didn't eat all of my dinner. My stomach has been in knots all day....I don't know why.
2 eggs, 1 egg white, 1/8 c. cheese, veggies
8 oz. shrimp on salad w/ 60 cals olive oil/vinaigrette dressing
Sweet potato
The sandwich platter that my supervisor picked up at Costco today for lunch for all of us....turkey, ham, roast beef sandwiches on croissants w/ cheese and mayo spreads.....this hurt, lol. If you want to know if I ate any, see the shrimp salad above. :)
Apple
1 c. 100 calorie Barilla pasta sauce with mushrooms, onions, bell peppers and spinach over 2 c. of spaghetti squash (42 cals/cup).
This is how much of my dinner that was left...stomach hurting today...couldn't eat anymore...but it was DELISH.
Have a good weekend everyone. :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I'm So Stoopid
Guess what? I forgot I have diabetes. Since I've lost nearly 100 lbs, my #'s are normal now...so it makes you think you don't have it anymore. My dr. corrected me on that one time. Mine is hereditary...it is under control with my diet now...I no longer take any meds for it, but he told me I'll always "have it".
Since my #'s have been normal, and are never in the high range anymore...I've discovered something I didn't know before. Your sugar can also DROP....your #'s can go TOO LOW. This doesn't happen often, but it has happened a couple of times. It's been a while though, so it took me FOREVER to figure out what in the hell was wrong with me today.
It started with a headache....then I was dizzy....then I noticed my hands and feet were freezing. I never freeze...in fact, they usually keep it WAY too warm in my office. It wasn't until I was in the car and driving home that I put all 3 symptoms together....ding ding ding!! My sugar was too low!! I quickly calculated my calories for the day in my head....I had around 750 or so by 5pm. Doh!! Soooo sleepy driving home...knew I HAD to eat....was thinking I need to grab a pack of crackers or something, but had already passed the ONE gas station between work and home. The only restaurants in the closes vicinity between work and home are a Red Lobster, a Dunkin' Donuts, Popeye's fried chicken, and a Chic-fil-A. SHIT.
Thank God the commute home is usually only 20 mins or so. Also glad that I already had dinner cooked and waiting in the frig. I popped it in the microwave and ate. That was about half an hour ago....still have a headache, still sleepy, and still freezing my ass off. But now that I've eaten things will improve. As of right now, I'm at 1093 cals for the day. I need to decide if I'll spend another 100 cals on food or my usual decaf coffee w/ creamer. I'm thinking food will be the smarter idea tonight.
1200 cals is enough for a diabetic...if you actually EAT. The danger is letting too much time go between the meals. I had lunch at 11am. I had some baby carrots at 2pm.....but by 5pm, things had gone way downhill today. I need to think more about spacing out my calories better. My breakfast this morning was under 200. Maybe I need to bulk that up to give myself a better start. Who forgets they have diabetes???? Feeling pretty stoopid right now.
Since my #'s have been normal, and are never in the high range anymore...I've discovered something I didn't know before. Your sugar can also DROP....your #'s can go TOO LOW. This doesn't happen often, but it has happened a couple of times. It's been a while though, so it took me FOREVER to figure out what in the hell was wrong with me today.
It started with a headache....then I was dizzy....then I noticed my hands and feet were freezing. I never freeze...in fact, they usually keep it WAY too warm in my office. It wasn't until I was in the car and driving home that I put all 3 symptoms together....ding ding ding!! My sugar was too low!! I quickly calculated my calories for the day in my head....I had around 750 or so by 5pm. Doh!! Soooo sleepy driving home...knew I HAD to eat....was thinking I need to grab a pack of crackers or something, but had already passed the ONE gas station between work and home. The only restaurants in the closes vicinity between work and home are a Red Lobster, a Dunkin' Donuts, Popeye's fried chicken, and a Chic-fil-A. SHIT.
Thank God the commute home is usually only 20 mins or so. Also glad that I already had dinner cooked and waiting in the frig. I popped it in the microwave and ate. That was about half an hour ago....still have a headache, still sleepy, and still freezing my ass off. But now that I've eaten things will improve. As of right now, I'm at 1093 cals for the day. I need to decide if I'll spend another 100 cals on food or my usual decaf coffee w/ creamer. I'm thinking food will be the smarter idea tonight.
1200 cals is enough for a diabetic...if you actually EAT. The danger is letting too much time go between the meals. I had lunch at 11am. I had some baby carrots at 2pm.....but by 5pm, things had gone way downhill today. I need to think more about spacing out my calories better. My breakfast this morning was under 200. Maybe I need to bulk that up to give myself a better start. Who forgets they have diabetes???? Feeling pretty stoopid right now.
These are awesome...tried them for the first time today after seeing them on someone else's blog.
Cooking breakfast...I do NOT do this every morning...I move too slow in the mornings.
7:30am
See there....took too long to cook, so not enough time to eat before leaving home....took it to work and ate it at my desk. :)
4 egg whites w/ a touch of mustard for color/flavor - 68 cals.
1/3 c. turkey sausage crumbles - 40 cals.
onions/mushrooms/bell peppers - 40 cals.
1/8 c. 2% cheese - 45 cals.
Breakfast total - 193 cals.
11am
salad - 50 cals.
8 oz. shrimp sauteed in Pam olive oil cooking spray - 240 cals.
2 Tbsp. olive oil vinaigrette dressing - 60 cals.
Lunch total - 350 cals.
2pm
15 baby carrots - 45 cals.
5:30pm
6 oz. chicken breast - 180 cals.
a whole bag of Steamfresh veggies - 120 cals.
1 slice 2% American cheese - 45 cals.
1 Tbsp. Heinz 57 - 20 cals.
Dinner total - 365 cals.
Total for the day so far: 1093
I had 120 oz. of water at work today....drinking another 32 oz. glass right now. Also had (4) 5 oz. c. of coffee at work.
I was a lot hungrier today than I was yesterday. I also didn't drink as much water today...that might have something to do with the fullness factor. As far as the diabetes goes, filling yourself up with water is not the same as eating your food. I'll space my calories out better tomorrow. 'Nite friends. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
