A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Move Begins Today!!!


I pick up the keys to my new tiny apartment today at lunch time!!!  I am sooooo tired of packing, but I finally got it ALL DONE.  I packed up my kitchen last Sunday like I said I was going to do, so I've been eating convenience foods all week.  We won't talk about my weight right now....I will report it this Sunday as the beginning of my NEW CHALLENGE!!  I hope some of you will join in with me...I'll do a detailed post closer to the start date explaining a couple of little "rules" and what the prize for the winner will be.  It's going to be fun!!! 

Dwayne and I will be moving boxes over to the apt in our vehicles each night after work...today, Thur and Fri...and then we'll move all of the furniture over in a U-Haul on Saturday.  I'll have Sunday to grocery shop and unpack as much as possible, then it's back to work Monday morning!!  I wish I could have taken Monday off to finish unpacking, but since I just started this new job 6 weeks ago, taking a day off just isn't an option.  In fact, there won't be any days off before Christmas...I'll get a 6 month review in December, and some kind of raise...thank God!  Did I mention that my hourly pay is only $1 more than what I was receiving on unemployment?????  YEAH....things are STILL beyond tight financially....but at least I'm back in the workforce....back in the Land of the Living. 

For all of you who have been reading my blog for a while, and have stuck with me through the depression and stress that I endured during the unemployment....a heartfelt thanks to you.  Thanks for sticking around, even if a lot of what I wrote wasn't happy reading.  Thank you for sticking around and continuing to encourage me through the constant gaining/losing/gaining/losing I've done on the scale.  I went through a really hard, dark time....I was definitely in a valley.  But I'm happy to report that I can see the next mountaintop!!  Things are going to get better....they already have!!  I'm WORKING again!!!  I'm moving to a new place where I'll get to see Dwayne ALL THE TIME now, instead of living so far apart like we did for the last year.  NEVER AGAIN.  NEVER.  I'm also very excited about my upcoming challenge...I look forward to getting back on the right track, no matter how many do-overs I've already had.  I've told countless other friends and bloggers that it doesn't matter if you fall off the horse 1000 times....as long as you get back on 1001...and Sunday, August 1, is that day!! 

Also, thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes this week....it's the most I've ever gotten in my life!!  I'm now 38 years old.....which brings me to another subject.  Each and every year on my birthday, I do a little mental assessment regarding where I'm at in life.  Was it a good, happy year, or a bad one?  Was I working at a good job where I enjoyed the people?  Have I completed my bachelor's degree in Accounting yet?  No?  Still not married?  No kids?  But there's my baby Scarlette!  And I have my health...and my parents and sisters are still alive and kicking, and my 5 precious nieces and nephews.  Do I have love in my life?  YES, I do!  Do I own a house yet or am I still renting?  Still no degree, so still making crappy money when I AM working??  Hmmmm.......

Well...I made a decision yesterday.  Maybe some of the less than pleasant things will change one day...maybe they won't.  But I decided that I needed to enjoy the happy and good things in the NOW.  I'm always looking towards the future.  I'm a planner to a fault.  Sometimes my plans work out and sometimes they all go to hell.  But I miss a lot of the present.  I get to the next birthday and I bemoan the things I didn't "get done" or that didn't work out as planned.  It's a waste of precious time.  Added to that....I've lived on so little money for so long, and had to be so budget-minded, that I try to avoid most frivolities with my spending.  I'll buy and spend for others...but if I do it for myself, the guilt is overwhelming.  This ties into my thoughts about my 40th birthday....and the decision I made yesterday.

Lord willing, my 40th birthday's going to show up in a couple of years whether I'm broke or not...married or not...have my Bachelor's or not....and do I want to look back on the year before with regret?  Or do I want to take the opportunity of having the next 2 years to save and plan a fabulous 40th birthday party for myself???  YES!!  A FaBuLoUs 40th B-day PaRtY!!!!!  If someone else throws you a 40th party (if they even care enough to remember you, that is)....then it's decked out in black and white, depressing "over the hill" decorations, right?  Well not if you THROW YOUR OWN PARTY!!!!! 

I was going to preface this news by saying I'll be at goal weight, but given my track record, I'm not going to make that statement, lol.  And besides....that's not what this is about.  This party is about celebrating NO MATTER WHAT else is right or wrong in my life....so if I get to 40 yrs old and I'm STILL fat, or not to goal...guess what???  I'm still celebrating!!!!!  Obviously this is still 2 years away, and a lot can happen in 2 years, so I don't have any stringent plans just yet, other than to start saving whatever little bits of money I can here and there.  I'm going to open a separate savings account for this.  When I get closer to time, I'll know how much money I'll have to work with, and that will determine where I hold the party and who I'll have cater it, and whether or not my friends are lucky enough to have an open bar that night, lol. 

But wait!!  There's a 2nd part to my 40th birthday celebration!  After the party, I'm taking me, Dwayne and my baby Scarlette on a beach trip!!  Time on the beach is what I enjoy the absolute most in life....so that's my gift to myself.  Not sure for how long...not sure which beach....but that will all be figured out later.

The kicker to all of this is, I know myself.  Once I get a good little sum of money saved up, my logical thinking will try to overpower me and tell me that I can spend that money in much more responsible ways than some frivolous, costly birthday party for all of my friends.  I'm saying NO to the voice!!  I'm MAKING myself stay on this course and see it through!!  It will be a struggle...there will likely be some guilt...but I've got 2 years to work on that, and actually ENJOY myself when party time gets here!!  Plus I'm relying on all of you to make me go through with it, LOL!! 

So there you have it....my plans for my 40th birthday in 2 years....and my plans to start a new challenge for the month of August starting this Sunday!  Hope everyone is doing well and should be fully back in the blogging groove by next week!!  :)  


  1. you want to get some practice in and plan my 40th birthday party? Its the only way I'll have one, and its coming fast ; )
    I am glad that you are choosing to be happy and that things are moving in the right direction for you now. Keep going!

  2. Looks like you will get a trial run if you go to Pam's 40th birthday party...LOL! (And then as discussed, J.J. and mine...so you will have three dry runs to know exactly what you want...LOL!).

    Looking forward (I think) to your challenge...:)

    Have a great day--and congrats on the move!

  3. I'm so happy to hear the pep in your "voice". You sound great!!!

    I think saving up for a big 40th bash is a great idea!!! I'm with you on the spending on myself guilt...it's easy to spend on my family or whoever...but not me. Well....enough of that for you and me!!

    Good look on the move. I hate moving...it's such a pain. One great thing though is it always feels like a clean slate. So leave the past shortcomings behind you when you move in that new apartment.

  4. I can't wait to hear about the challenge. I need something to kick my butt back in gear. Happy belated birthday.

  5. What an awesome powerful post! You sound great, Tammy, and I'm looking forward to your challenge, which I will do. I've flubbed 2 challenges I started this summer by getting too many of the details and goals mixed up...etc. They came when I had so much going on I could even find the posts where I'd written my goals to report!

    Not that you asked, but I say keep the list of rules fairly simple - for you and for us (me!). I got bogged down with which day to do what or whatever - but that's my problem, not the challenge thrower! Anyway - I'm doing yours even if I need a personal assistant to keep up.

    Love your birthday plans for the big 4-0. But as you said, being grateful for the good in the present is the absolute best way to find true peace and happyness. I love an AA saying: Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. I love that, and I hear you saying that and really meaning it. You have a lot of new beginnings working. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days as you move. Hope it goes smoothly! Hugs!

  6. Your excitement has me excited for you!
    Much happiness Tammy. (((hugs)))

  7. I love the plan, it is a great plan, that will be one hell of a ParTEEEEEEEE!!!

    Happy New Home.

    Big Hugs


  8. I think saving up for a party sounds like a great idea! Good luck with your new challenge!

  9. I am so happy for you. You sound so much better. And happy belated birthday. Sorry I missed it!

  10. Congrats on the new home and time with your man. Being apart can be hard.

  11. Big things are going to start happening to you now! (of course, a Jerk movie reference). Seemed fitting.

    Congrats on the upswing...may it last forever!

  12. YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Happy new home day.


    My moves always take forever :)


  13. I am also looking forward to your challenge! Blessings in your new home and I am glad things are beginning to turn around for you!

    The party idea...I ditto the wonderful!!! IT is your birthday...

  14. I've been on vacation! Happy Birthday, and hope your moving day goes smooth as silk. Be happy, and enjoy! Love and hugs, Kathleen

  15. I want to go to your 40th party! lol Happy Belated BDAY and congrats on the new job and moving!