Is this news to anyone? I think we all know this, but it doesn't mean we particularly like to be reminded...especially first thing in the morning while we're commuting to work. It sets a bad tone for the day. I felt like bitching this morning, so here I am!!
First of all...I was listening to the radio a few months ago...one of our most popular stations here in Atlanta, when the female DJ came on and gave a statistic about obesity. She said something like 1/2 of Americans are now obese (I don't remember the exact numbers), then followed it up with "OMG!!! Can you BELIEVE that?? That is DISGUSTING!!!" I don't know why it shook me up so bad, but it did. I felt like all one million of her listeners were staring right at ME and thinking how gross I looked. I started crying, shocked at how badly it affected me, but still unable to stop the tears. It hurts to be told how disgusting you are.
Dwayne was driving...and had to pull over because I was so upset. He got out of the car, came around to my side, got me out, and gave me a tender hug and kiss, calling me his "cutie" and telling me what an excellent job I'm doing at losing the weight. He also made some comment that the DJ was probably a coke whore who spent 6 nights a week at the bar and sleeping around with God knows who, so her opinion didn't count anyway. Don't you love how he tries to make me feel better?? lol At least he tries.
I had long forgotten about that day, until this morning when I was driving to work, listening to a different radio station, and in light of Lindsay Lohan being on her way to spending 90 days in jail....they asked would you rather go to jail for 3 months or be fat for 3 months? I immediately knew what the majority of the answers were going to be....go to jail. And I was right. In fact, one woman called in and said that she USED to be fat, and that is WAY worse than going to jail, so she'd choose jail as long as she got to remain thin. The DJ's asked her how much she USED to weigh. She said she's 5'4 and used to weigh a "whopping 152 lbs!!!" Oh the horror!! One of the male DJ's commented that he didn't think that sounded bad at all...then he asked, "Isn't the normal range for a woman these days a size 12-14?" ( I should probably note that this is a gay man...not a hetero man....which may have something to do with him not minding size 12-14 girls...he's not dating them!! And yes...I'm doing my own brand of stereo-typing right now...but I'm in a pissy mood).
The woman made a huge gasping sound and said, "WHAT??? I don't want to fit into anything bigger than a 6 or an 8!! A size 12 or 14???? Bite your tongue!! In fact, RIP IT OUT BY IT'S LITTLE ROOT!!!!"
Let me just say that I'm 5'10, and my GOAL WEIGHT is 170 lbs, which will probably land me in a SIZE 12!!!! This didn't send me into tears this morning....just crawled under my skin and made me wonder, will I ever be good enough?? Am I always going to be walking around in public, even at goal weight, with people staring at me and thinking I'm gross and disgusting? How am I going to get past these thoughts, because I'm sure as Hell not going to force myself down into a size 6. That's too thin for my liking...I don't want to be that thin...I want to keep my curves. Maybe I should just stop listening to the radio???
I came into work this morning and was discussing this with a co-worker who's a pretty average size lady. She found it bothersome as well. Then I turn on my computer and my browser is set to http://www.msn.com/. The very first article that popped up was Obesity in America. Are you effin' kidding me??? I can't get away from the abuse this morning!!! It listed the states from fattest to least fat....giving their obesity rates.
If you live in Colorado, congrats....you've got the lowest obesity rate in the country.
If you live in Mississippi, I'm sorry....and keep your radio turned off.
4 months ago