Is this news to anyone? I think we all know this, but it doesn't mean we particularly like to be reminded...especially first thing in the morning while we're commuting to work. It sets a bad tone for the day. I felt like bitching this morning, so here I am!!
First of all...I was listening to the radio a few months ago...one of our most popular stations here in Atlanta, when the female DJ came on and gave a statistic about obesity. She said something like 1/2 of Americans are now obese (I don't remember the exact numbers), then followed it up with "OMG!!! Can you BELIEVE that?? That is DISGUSTING!!!" I don't know why it shook me up so bad, but it did. I felt like all one million of her listeners were staring right at ME and thinking how gross I looked. I started crying, shocked at how badly it affected me, but still unable to stop the tears. It hurts to be told how disgusting you are.
Dwayne was driving...and had to pull over because I was so upset. He got out of the car, came around to my side, got me out, and gave me a tender hug and kiss, calling me his "cutie" and telling me what an excellent job I'm doing at losing the weight. He also made some comment that the DJ was probably a coke whore who spent 6 nights a week at the bar and sleeping around with God knows who, so her opinion didn't count anyway. Don't you love how he tries to make me feel better?? lol At least he tries.
I had long forgotten about that day, until this morning when I was driving to work, listening to a different radio station, and in light of Lindsay Lohan being on her way to spending 90 days in jail....they asked would you rather go to jail for 3 months or be fat for 3 months? I immediately knew what the majority of the answers were going to be....go to jail. And I was right. In fact, one woman called in and said that she USED to be fat, and that is WAY worse than going to jail, so she'd choose jail as long as she got to remain thin. The DJ's asked her how much she USED to weigh. She said she's 5'4 and used to weigh a "whopping 152 lbs!!!" Oh the horror!! One of the male DJ's commented that he didn't think that sounded bad at all...then he asked, "Isn't the normal range for a woman these days a size 12-14?" ( I should probably note that this is a gay man...not a hetero man....which may have something to do with him not minding size 12-14 girls...he's not dating them!! And yes...I'm doing my own brand of stereo-typing right now...but I'm in a pissy mood).
The woman made a huge gasping sound and said, "WHAT??? I don't want to fit into anything bigger than a 6 or an 8!! A size 12 or 14???? Bite your tongue!! In fact, RIP IT OUT BY IT'S LITTLE ROOT!!!!"
Let me just say that I'm 5'10, and my GOAL WEIGHT is 170 lbs, which will probably land me in a SIZE 12!!!! This didn't send me into tears this morning....just crawled under my skin and made me wonder, will I ever be good enough?? Am I always going to be walking around in public, even at goal weight, with people staring at me and thinking I'm gross and disgusting? How am I going to get past these thoughts, because I'm sure as Hell not going to force myself down into a size 6. That's too thin for my liking...I don't want to be that thin...I want to keep my curves. Maybe I should just stop listening to the radio???
I came into work this morning and was discussing this with a co-worker who's a pretty average size lady. She found it bothersome as well. Then I turn on my computer and my browser is set to http://www.msn.com/. The very first article that popped up was Obesity in America. Are you effin' kidding me??? I can't get away from the abuse this morning!!! It listed the states from fattest to least fat....giving their obesity rates.
If you live in Colorado, congrats....you've got the lowest obesity rate in the country.
If you live in Mississippi, I'm sorry....and keep your radio turned off.
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Tammy, you know how short I am (5'5" on a good day) and when I weighed 179 when I was in my 20's, I was in a size 12, so 170 on you will be a smaller size than that.
ReplyDeleteThere is judgement on every level of society, no matter if you are fat, thin, black, white...these things just stick out to you because you are letting them effect you so deeply.
Haven't you ever noticed how you never see anyone driving a certain kind of car, until you buy one, then suddenly half of the cares on the road are just like yours?
Unfortunately, if you don't just come to terms with people being mean and rotten most of the time, once you lose your weight, something else that "they" disapprove of will be your next albatross that YOU are letting them win with by letting it bother you.
I hope you can just ignore all of this, realize that you are made in God's image and He doesn't make mistakes.
just crawled under my skin and made me wonder, will I ever be good enough?? Your writing, these words, stop it !! You are good enough, end of story. Heal your self inside, the weight will come off in time... You are doing great.. If 50% of us are obese, we seem to be winning...OMG..Oops
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about the ignorant attitude out there. Overweight people are treated like a joke. Dwayne sounds like a real sweetie.
ReplyDeleteYou can't win for loosing!
ReplyDeleteEver hear that line before?
Tammy, trust me. There will always be opinionated people & most if not all have sore spots themselves.
Some people think their SHIT don't stink.
In my opinion..........IT DOES! ;0)
(((hugs)))
Dwane does sound awesome...and you're touching on one of my pet peeves right here!!!
ReplyDeletePersonally, it helps me to realize that society is manipulated by the media and pop culture simply to make profits. Think about it....how else could society brain-wash every female from pre-pubescent age to elderly into hating our bodies and feeling worthless?
We should revere women's bodies--look what we can do! LOL....its a collective effort to make us pony up cash for myriad "improvements" and "treatments" and goop and glop, this fad/ that fad, endless gimmicks.
I tune it out. I listen to XM Radio or my own tunes and avoid the commercials and IDIOTIC blather by most DJs.
Our local station is the same, I listen for 5 minutes and end up feeling OLD, FAT, FUGLY and out of it! Who needs that?!
Anyway, Im afraid Im on my soapbox ranting on YOUR blog hehehe....
Hang in there, you are doing great!
Hey girl, I'm supposed to be working but your post got under my skin and broke my heart a little. First of all, think about a different radio station. I switch around a lot, but in the morning I find the Fish christian radio to be positive, upliftng, funny and healthy concious. Second, your post broke my heart. There are definitely people like that that would rather go to jail than be fat. Not people we really want to know anyway. Shame goes along with the weight in a lot of ways. But, those of us fighting to be healthier
ReplyDelete( doesn't mean a size 6) are strong, resiliant, not perfect, never perfect, . We are often also accepting, willing to change, willing to support others, have will power out the wazoo and again, we are not perfect. I'd rather be fat than in jail..absolutely.
When you get movied and settled in , we will have to meet up up for coffee somewhere between your part of north boonies atlanta and my part of east boonies atlanta. yours, pj geek
I totally puffy heart Dwayne for being such a sweetie!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about fat prejudice and non-acceptance. I feel that way with certain extended family members who knew me when I was very thin and always sort of ask in subtle ways "How are you doing with your weight?" I want to answer "None of your f*cking business, that's how I'm doing"...and these are people who I know truly love me. My husband says they ask (only 2 in-laws ever bring it up) because they know I struggle with it.
This post reminds me of how much I miss your more frequent posting, but I totally get it, and I've also had to lessen the frequency for several reasons. Anyway - you are entirely worthy and good enough AS IS. Weight loss will make us all feel better about ourselves, but won't make us better human beings.
And in case you haven't read it already today, here is what F. McButter Pants has posted about a supposed study:
ReplyDelete"I just heard on the news that being obese makes you stupid. Something about points on the obesity scale and your brain function. Do I believe it? No. What people won't spend money on."
Not sure I can even GET more discouraged...
You know, your post really put into perspective the way that it's going to be...the way that it is. I cannot really believe that a radio personality would actually compare fat to jail...really (guess it's good for ratings and such...but why go there?)? It just goes to show you that we, as people, are shallow. The judgements of others (as others have said)will always be around...size, race, religion, etc. It's just a sad fact of life, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI think that we tend to focus (see my post about it previously) on where we (think we)should be instead of where we have been. Look at the great strides you have made...certainly nothing to be ashamed of...In fact, you should be very, very proud! And the fact that you are working to get and stay on the right track is even more commendable.
And you know what else...at least being fat is something I can change...a criminal record, mugshot, or jail history (kind of remeniscent of childhood days, huh???)is around forever! So for those willing to head on to jail, I say go on...and I will try not to judge you when you are released.
I am also 5'10, with 170 as a goal weight.
ReplyDeleteOn Facebook, I was looking at some photos of a Vitawater event and there were lots of comments that "the girl in thaqt photo is fat, blah blah blah." It just depresses me when I think about it.
Your self worth can never be in a number - weight or size. Whether big or small, that number will never satisfy and bring happiness. Those things come from somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteI need to go to Dwayne school I think. Does he give seminars?
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'2 and I would LOVE to weigh 152 and my goal weight is only 140. I don't want to be one of these what I call "skinny bitches" because they keep their nose held way too high and think that anybody who is bigger than them is obese! I never want to lose my curves, EVER! I want them in better places than they are now but I don't want to lose them.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, GIRL! I did not drop the challenge so you better get your ass back in gear and lets finish these last 5 weeks strong. I just needed some me time to think about things. Im good to go now and my goal is to get up in the morning before it gets hot as balls and go to the park down the street and walk or walk around the neighborhood. But yea lets get back on track and don't forget to weigh tomorrow.
1. There are a lot of silly people on the radio.
ReplyDelete2. I don't care what my "final" weight will be as long as I can bench press it. :) I like 135 but only because it would mean two 45lb plates on the bar.
I am only 5'2" and at my highest weighed 210 pounds and was a size 18.
ReplyDeleteI am not 169 and a size 14. While I would love to be a size 10 again, my diabetes doctor casually says during my quarter visits "you know someone your height should weigh around 120."
While I know that is possible because I graduated high school at 116, I just can't imagine that I still have 50 pounds to lose!
Hooray for getting a hug and a kiss when you were down! :D
I have a lot of days when I hate myself for the way I look. I beat myself up enough all on my own. Get some CD's and don't listen to those bitches on the radio anymore!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above comment....it's time to change radio stations! I have an award for you over on my blog.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the other day my friend, who is overweight, said she was listening to (what else?) the radio and they were talking about relationships. The guest on the show went on to say that fat people (not people who have low self esteem, just fat people) could never have healthy relationships because you have to love yourself before you can find love. I was like, WTF? Why is she just focusing on fat people? I'm sure there are some out there who do love themselves, and I *know* there are plenty of thin people who have self esteem issues, too. People are dumb and inconsiderate.
ReplyDeleteBut I do want to point out that calling people of healthy weight "skinny bitches" is downright rude, too. It just shows jealousy and doesn't make the person saying that any better than the fat haters.
It doesn't matter what the people on the radio, magazines, news or tv shows say. What really matters is how YOU feel about YOU. Sounds like it's time to change that radio station.
ReplyDeleteI am so tired of this shit. The media and Madison Avenue have us all believing that if we aren't 5'10", a size negative three and have perfect skin, hair, teeth, we are worthless and should be destroyed.
ReplyDeleteIt is so stupid and it needs to stop. It is time that we all stood up and told advertisers and casting agents and those stupid tabloids and reporters that they are all full of crap and that we aren't going to stand still for their garbage any longer.
Oh, and Jay Leno can get down on his knees, pull down my pants and kiss my big, huge, dimpled white ass. I am so sick of his stupid nightly assault on fat people.
Okay, shutting up, now...
Very poignant post and so true too. Society seems to think we're just big lazy goodfernuttin slobbettes. I just saw the Ice Queen's last line and busted up. Jay Leno's chin takes up more room than a lot of fat folks.
ReplyDeleteI had to come out of lurkdom to comment on this one.
ReplyDeleteYou know what?? I don't give a rats what people think when they look at me. Half the time, I think other people are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't even notice other people. so don't go thinking that people are judging you. And if they do, give them the bird! That is THEIR problem, not yours. If you are happy, then that's all that matters. OK? :) Doesn't matter what size you are.
I know I'm late to reading this one (and your blog) but the ending made me smile and laugh. Do it for you and screw everyone else (I know you know this). So - for all of us over 152 lbs or more ... YAY US! You're doing great...keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Elizabeth.