Oh my goodness...last week was CRAZY. I mentioned in my last post we got a tiny bit of snow...4" in my area...but the ICE wreaked havoc. Usually if we get a little snow, it melts the next day. It's been a whole week and the ground in my backyard looks exactly the same as it did a week ago. I was driving home one evening after work and hit a big sheet of ice on the road and did a complete 360!! I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was blessed in that everyone else was going sooo slow that I managed to come out of it and get traction again without hitting anyone....but the adrenaline had me tied up in knots. I got home and Dwayne was here and I just busted out crying. I'm originally from FL. I don't like driving in the ice...I'm not used to it....it completely unnerves me. So we missed work Mon and Tues, and I had to drive in that crap Wed-Fri...it was a harrowing experience to say the least.
Next on the list of my stressful week....Friday at work SUCKED. Scott, my boss, had a MAJOR problem with 2 of the other girls that I work closely with in the office. Us 3 handle all of the clerical stuff. Well the other 2 made some mistakes and Scott pretty much lost it. He yanked our top 3 clients from one of the girls and handed them to me! Ack!! He also told me I will probably have to fly to Ft. Lauderdale next week and learn a whole new computer system....in 2 days....and come back and teach it to the other 2 girls. After one of the girls was threatened with losing her job on Friday...the one he yanked our top 3 clients from...she didn't waste any time saving her ass. She got on the phone w/ someone she knew was opening an ofc in March, and set up a job interview for this Tuesday.....it's one of our clients and I feel pretty positive she'll get the job. She said if she gets it, she'll take her vacation time, and then turn in her notice. If she's on vacation, who's going to train me on her position?????? Stressed is not the word.
The worst part of this is, I wanted to get my side business, The Errand Fairy, up and running as soon as I get some clients in and the word gets out. My plan was to get enough regular business to be able to go part-time at my current job....something I could have easily done in my current position. HOWEVER, if I end up with the other girl's job.....I won't be able to go part-time....it's a full-time job, and there's no way in the world Scott will let me go part-time. I loathe my job....I'm thankful I have one and my bills are pretty much paid....but I purposely started laying the groundwork in December to start my own business so I could get out of this job....and now I've got a lot more responsibility dumped in my lap. In order to make the Errand Fairy really work well, I'm going to have to eventually go part-time, so I'll be available some day time hours to do the Errand Fairy stuff....not everyone is going to want their stuff done in the evenings and on weekends. A lot of them will want it done during work hours while THEY are at work!! I'm stuck....I'm so stuck right now. And it's maddening. I am not a happy girl....AT ALL.
Lastly....I got on the scale this morning. Blech. I weigh 256 lbs. For the record, that means I've gained 13 lbs since the beginning of December. I completely gave up in December...I knew I would gain weight...just didn't realize exactly HOW much weight. Just thinking about it makes my brain hurt. I'm trying to cook up some food today to have on hand during the work week and try to get things back under control. My focus is not fully there...it's on the work situation....but ANY positive change at this point would be better than none at all. I broiled several pieces of tilapia today to have made ahead. I boiled some eggs for tuna salad. And I've got some shrimp thawing so I can sautee them later and throw in the frig to have on hand for shrimp po' boys. I bought some whole grain Naan bread at the store and some green leaf lettuce to make for a couple of shrimp po' boys for lunches at work. I'm making a conscious effort to get back on track.
Dwayne has been here WAY too much. I love him to pieces but one of my major problems with my weight loss has always been eating poorly when I'm around him. I have just got to make myself learn how to do it...how to separate our eating...cook 2 meals...not feel guilty if he doesn't eat what I cook...something...I don't know. I know it's my fault completely....not his. I know this. And I really have to zero in on this and figure it out and hold steady with a plan. He was off work and here every day from Dec. 17th to Jan. 3rd....then he went back to work for one day, and was off the next. Then the next week we had the snow/ice event, and he was here for Mon and Tues...now I hear he's off work for MLK day tomorrow...good grief!! Also, we were talking about trying to buy a house by next summer...so if we're going to be living together full-time....I am truly going to have to get a grip with living with someone who's the pickiest eater on the face of the planet...and someone who despises every vegetable known to man. Such a pain in the ass....but it has to be done.
I'm going to resume my weekly weigh-ins and reporting it every Friday again. I'm trying to get back in the habit of counting every calorie and weighing every bite of food. My goal is 1800 cals a day right now, and trust me when I tell you that is a serious reduction from what I've been eating for the last month and a half. Starting over is always hard...but it has to be done. I can't let myself get all the way back up to the 340 lbs. I used to weigh. As deflated as I feel right now...letting that happen would be more than I could handle. So I want to turn this around now before it gets any worse. Have a great day friends. :)
4 months ago