Weekend Highs and Lows

I headed into this weekend, after Friday morning's crappy weigh-in, with one major goal in mind, and a secondary goal to follow.  The major goal was to make it better than last weekend.  Last weekend I overate all 3 days...Fri, Sat and Sun.  I set myself up for a bad week right out of the gate.  I also said I would be eating processed stuff/sodium-filled stuff out of the freezer in an effort to get it cleaned out, and I did that, too.  Then I had a really bad day on Wednesday, and went out to eat that night...yet more sodium.  And the scale responded accordingly.

The good news is that this weekend was better than last weekend, so the major goal was accomplished.  The not-so-good news is that my secondary goal was to make sure I did not exceed 1800 cals on any of those 3 days.  Oops.  Here's the breakdown:

Friday:  a really good workout at the gym and calories were 1800.  Yay me.
Saturday:  rest day from gym (every Sat is) and calories were too high to count (Mexican food & margaritas)
Sunday:  a really good workout at the gym and calories are 1650.  Woo hoo.

So I guess 2 for 3 this weekend is better than the 0 for 3 last weekend.  At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.  Progress, not perfection, right?  Yeah, whatever.  It's more like, "When are you ever going to learn and actually practice consistency Tammy?" 

And don't get me wrong....I am totally proud of myself for sticking to my guns on Fri and Sun.  I'm not posting this to b*tch about it...I'm just re-capping the stats from the weekend.  And I'm sorry, but I'm never going to be one of those bloggers that reveals their screw ups and then laughs about it.  You will NEVER read a post where I say something like..***.I'm sitting here typing this post, feeling sorry for myself about how fat I am and can't seem to lose the weight, while I finish off this large supreme pizza and watch crumbs fall on my keyboard...LOL***  I don't laugh when I mess up.  I can't...I don't know how... and I don't understand people that do.  I'm not judging...I'm simply saying I don't understand. 

So there's one high and one low from the weekend.  Here's another.  While Dwayne and I were throwing back the calories at the restaurant Sat night, he hooked up his laptop at the table, and we surfed the web for oceanfront, pet-friendly condos in Destin and Panama City Beach, FL.  He seriously needs a vacation from work....and I need one from my life, lol.  We found some pretty decent prices after a couple of hours of searching, and the plan was for him to go into work on Monday and ask for 4 days of his vacation time to be taken somewhere around the 3rd or 4th week of April.  He wants to go from a Tuesday through a Saturday, traveling back home on Sunday, and have 5 days on the beach.  I can't think of anything more perfect, especially after this ridiculously long and unusually cold winter. 

He said he would come over this Tuesday and we would pick the top 3 condos we were interested in, decide which one we want, and book it online.  Yippie!!  Something to look forward to!!   I was happy, happy, happy!!  Then I woke up this morning and everything changed.  My roommate told me that some congressman or senator or somebody important is holding up extensions on unemployment checks.  I went online to certify this morning, like I have to do every Sunday morning, and there was an "Important Notice" for all of us poor souls that are reliant on the government for our paychecks.

You don't know how much I HATE relying on Big Brother.  I'm such a capitalist and such a lover of free enterprise and people that actually WANT to work and make as much money as their pockets can hold.  I've always been so thankful to live in a country where you were free to do just that.  It absolutely KILLS me that there are people out here like me who are ready, willing and able to work and yet the jobs have become so elusive in this poor, struggling economy.  I keep hearing on the news that it's getting better.  So I go online to the Georgia Dept. of Labor website to check the stats.  The national unemployment rate is STILL 10% and Georgia's is 10.3%....up from 10.2% a month ago.  Hmmmm....that's improvement?  Seems to me like it's still going in the wrong direction.

Ok, I'm off on a tangent...forgive me.  I've joked on here before that if I ever start a political blog I'm naming it The Rabid Republican.  :)  Back to the Important Notice.  Turns out what Shane said was correct.  Things ain't lookin' good.  It said if Congress doesn't pass the latest extension, then the Tier that you're being paid out of now will be the last one you get.  The extension that was previously available after my current Tier will be gone.  I've got to go into the Dept of Labor tomorrow morning and look someone in the eye and have them give me the details to my face.  I also need to know exactly how many weeks of pay I have left.  From my calculations, it should be 4 weeks.  But I need to go ask just to make sure.  But as of right now, I'm 4 weeks away from rock bottom.  Can we say "emotional upheaval"?  Feeling binge-y anyone??

I called Dwayne this morning and dropped the bomb on him.  I told him I didn't think it was a good idea to schedule a beach vacation when I might need help keeping the lights on.  He said he really needs the vacation, and we would probably still go, even if we shortened the amount of days we went.  But who knows...I could go in there tomorrow and find out I only have one week of pay left.  It's happened before.  Which would mean relying on Dwayne to help me financially, and when we went through this the last time, back in December, he came over and looked at my extremely lean budget, and said it'd be hard for him to keep up both of our bills for very long.

So here I am again....facing the same ol' sh*t....feeling helpless and hopeless despite all of my efforts to get an interview with someone.  I've tweaked my resume and cover letter over and over.  I've got a job link that encompasses many different job boards that emails me every single morning with updated listings...and as part of my morning ritual, I apply to everything new that I know I'm qualified for, and even the ones that I think I can "wing it" on.  I've been to job fairs.  I've had friends contact the HR companies at their jobs, trying to get my foot in the door, but nothing's been available.  I've stayed in contact with several girls I worked with at my last job from a year ago...keeping up the networking with them in case something breaks on their end.  Only one of them has found a new job....the other 4 (including my boss) are still unemployed just like me.  I've joined a networking site called LinkedIn, just in case that provides some help somewhere along the way.  I don't know how else to say, "I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!!"

So these are the highs and lows from the weekend.  After I hit the unemployment ofc tomorrow, I'll be going to the gym to work out some frustration and fear.  Then I'm headed up to Ellijay to babysit for my sister.  My calorie goals for tomorrow are 1800.  I haven't hit that a single time while I'm up there...but it doesn't mean I can't keep trying.  I hope everyone has had a super duper weekend....and a couple of people gave me some awards this weekend which I'll recognize in Tuesday night's post.  Thank you 266 & Kyle!  :)

Quote For the Day:

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."  -Dale Carnegie

Irritated With Myself

I weighed in at 229.0 this morning, so I gained 1 lb. I've been flitting around with the same 1-2 lbs. for the last 3 weeks. Starting to get irritated with myself. I'm changing my calories to 1600 a day this week and will continue to work out.

Interestingly enough, Dwayne emailed me yesterday and said he checked out the gym close to his house and took the tour, but hasn't joined yet. Then earlier in the week he took a 2 mile walk. And he said he wants to start eating better (mind you....this still means no veggies for him)....so he said on his way over to my house tonight, he's picking up some fresh fish to grill out for us, along with some salad and fresh fruit. Hooray!! We're grilling chicken out for dinner on Saturday along with some corn on the cob for him and some veggie kabobs for me, along with another salad. Sounds like it's going to be a good eating weekend and it's such a relief to hear that after 5 long months, he's finally climbing on board!

Let's hope all of you have a better weigh-in than I have this week!! Have a fabulous weekend!! :)

Quote For the Day:

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" -Marvin Phillips

Weekend in Cherokee

I'm back!! Dwayne, Scarlette and I had a lovely little weekend getaway in Cherokee, NC. I'll tell you right off the bat the eating sucked, lol. I had 500 calories left for dinner when he got here on Friday afternoon to pick us up. I suggested Subway because I knew I could get a 6" turkey sub for 320 calories and still have 180 left for any snacking at the hotel that night.

Well....he didn't want Subway. He flat out said "no". He said we were going to Zaxby's. If you don't have a Zaxby's where you live, it's a fast food-type restaurant that specializes in fried chicken. Great. I could feel my stress level as well as my blood pressure rising, and I made the decision right then and there to let it go. I decided to not stress about anything all weekend.

We also didn't get to do the hike I was planning. Nothing I planned on doing happened, lol. But because I decided not to freak out over everything like I normally do, I ended up having a pleasant weekend anyway with Dwayne and my puppy. We did a little souvenir shopping. Dwayne bought me 2 hoodie sweatshirts, a pink bag, and a cap to wear at the park when I'm out walking in the rain. The front of the cap says, "Women who behave rarely make history". I like it. :)

We went to the casino for about an hour and a half, but it gets so smoky in there that we can't handle it for very long. It starts to burn your eyes. Dwayne got $100 out of the ATM, gave us each $50 to play with, but I only spent $20 and he spent $33. Just enough to have a little bit of fun, and then we headed back to the hotel to hang out with Scarlette. We stayed in a hotel that was built in the 60's. It's called the Pink Motel, and it's practically the cheapest thing in town. The reason we like staying there is not for the fabulous decor, lol. There is a river that runs right behind it, so you can go out your back door, grill out, sit at the picnic tables, and just relax watching the river flow.

Unfortunately, it rained the ENTIRE time we were there. We stopped and took a few pictures on the way into Cherokee at the Nantahala Outdoor Center, but once we got to Cherokee it was raining, and didn't let up the entire time. So we didn't get to go hiking, and we didn't get to grill out chicken like we were planning this time. But it was still a nice, relaxing weekend. :)


Here are a few pics from the trip:

Pam gave me the following Quote For The Day:

"Why say the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon?" -Anonymous

Holding My Breath

Weigh-in Eve. Oh the stress, lol. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I am praying for at least 2 lbs. tomorrow morning. I don't want to expect too much for sure....but man I feel like I earned at least a 2 lb. loss. I am totally dreading the week a plateau hits. Don't let this week be it! I guess it doesn't really matter which week it is...I'm doing the same work, so it doesn't make a difference when it finally sneaks up and bites me. Been wondering what I'll do when it happens....what does everyone else do? Do you keep the same calorie amount each day or do you reduce it? Do you increase your daily exercise? Pam told me a while back that she hit one a while back and it lasted several weeks. That scares the living crap out of me....I want to be in Destin by next April!!!! At least by next summer....please God??!! PLEASE??!!

I finally got around tonight to checking some blogs of my newest followers. Melanie gave me an award and I didn't even know it!!!! Thanks Melanie...how sweet of you to think of me...and greatly appreciated! I also received another award today...from Brittany at Me vs. The Buffet. She has a homemade blog award, complete with fat rolls and a piece of fried chicken in her hand...lol...and I am the PROUD recipient!! Awesome!!

Dwayne called today and said he's taking the day off tomorrow and spending the whole day with me. Then he said, "Aren't you excited honey?!" While he was busy being excited, I was busy wondering how in the heck he was going to wreck my eating, lol. I told him of course I was excited....he's been looking for a "new" used car for about 3 months now and he wants to do some more looking tomorrow. I'll be so happy when he finally gets settled on something and we don't spend an ENTIRE day away from home and eating at fast food restaurants. Stresses me to no end. My current plan is to eat a piece of my 176 calorie breakfast casserole in the morning....and then pray we're at home around lunch time so I can make us some 350 calorie turkey burgers. Then there's always the fun of trying to figure out a dinner that both of us will eat....one that he will enjoy and not turn his nose up at....and one that I can eat guilt-free and still stay within my calorie budget. Here's his idea of food: Meat, Bad Carbs, Sweets, Absolutely NO VEGETABLES. Did I mention I'm stressed? lol

Well I think I'm all caught up on my blog reading and commenting for the day. Time to catch up on a little more laundry and a game of fetch with my baby puppy dog, Scarlette. I wish I could put pictures up. I really suck at this blogging thing, lol. Maybe I'll see if Pam can help me with some soon. She knows how AddAGadget-challenged I am. :)

Quote For The Day:

"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward." -Firdtjof Nansen