Allan's Double Dog Challenge

Allan at Almost Gastric Bypass is hosting a 2 week challenge, starting today, and I'm happy to join in.  After floundering around for a bit, trying to get straightened out on my Zoloft, etc...I'm looking forward to some structure.  I usually fail at people's challenges...too many rules, forget the right weigh-in day, lasts for too long,e tc.  This one was attractive due to it's only 2 weeks long....you weigh in this morning, and on the last day of the challenge.  I'll post the challenge rules here:

CHALLENGE RULES


YOUR DAILY CALORIC INTAKE IS YOUR GOAL WEIGHT X 11

EVERYTHING YOU INGEST COUNTS AND NEEDS TO BE RECORDED

YOU DRINK 64 OUNCES OF WATER DAILY

NO CHEATING AND NO BULLSHIT

2 WEEKS, STARTING 10/25/2010

WEIGH IN MONDAY MORNING AND WEIGH IN 11/8/2010


So.....my goal weight is 170.  I take that # and multiply it times 11...and eat that amount of calories each day.  My calorie limit for this challenge is 1870, which is very close to the 1800 I was SUPPOSED to be staying at every day anyway.  Easy peasy...now I just actually have to do it.  :) 

Notice he didn't include any kind of exercise requirement.  This is simply about staying under your certain calorie limit....the limit you will have to stay at to maintain when you reach your goal.....and to drink (2) 32 oz. glasses of water a day.  Again, easy peasy.  :)

Of course, it's much easier for me to stick to calories during the work week where I'm a lot more structured, than it is on the weekends where things get loosey goosey for me.  For instance....last Fri I weighed in at 244 lbs.  This morning...my starting weight for the challenge, I'm 247 lbs. 

I will do a post tomorrow hopefully w/ all of my pics from the weekend....I'm waiting on Leslie to send me some from our dinner Fri night because my camera died after I took 1 pic!  So anyhoo....ate out Friday night with Leslie.....ate out Saturday night...or at least away from home....at a cookout at the Halloween costume party we went to at my friend Garrett's house....ate out lunch with Kim and Julia on Sunday at Chipotle before we went to the Farmer's Market.  I don't think my calories were too out of control....but I know the sodium is up there, and most likely what is attributing to the 3 lb. gain from the weekend.   No biggie...I've already started on my water drinking, and will be getting in way more than the 64 oz. that is required...it will probably be more like 128 oz., as when I'm really paying attention, I drink (4) 32 oz. glasses of water a day. 

So thanks to Allan for hosting the challenge.  If you're interested in doing something different for a couple of weeks, and seeing what it will be like to eat the calories you should be eating when you reach your goal....then join in with us.  Today is the first day of the challenge though....so you'll need to pop over to his blog and leave a comment today if you're interested.  He's at Almost Gastric Bypass and listed on my blogroll. 

Happy Monday everyone...let's make it a good one.  :)

Weigh-In

I weighed in at 248 for the last 2 weeks.  Today I'm 244.2 for a loss of 3.8 lbs. this week.

This makes me happy.  :)

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Busy Weekend Ahead

Leslie at Something Brilliant Is Brewing is in Atlanta this weekend and I'm having dinner with her tomorrow night.  I cannot WAIT to meet her!  She's a fabulous person who I've built a personal friendship with through emails over the last year or so.  I connect with her on so many levels, but we are definitely simpatico with the weight loss struggles.  We'll be meeting at a cajun seafood restaurant called Pappadeaux's for dinner and I'll be sure to take some pics to share here. 

Saturday morning we're taking Scarlette to Petsmart to get her toenails, ears, etc. taken care of, and then on to a puppy festival with her little pumpkin costume.  She loves that thing!  I had it in a closet and the door shut, and every evening she scratches on the closet door until I open it....then she jumps up like a little pogo stick until she reaches the shelf her costume is on and grabs it and takes off!  lol  Dwayne put it on her a couple of nights ago, and she ran and played in it, chewing on toys and jumping up on us to give us kisses.  I would think most dogs wouldn't be too fond of being dressed up but my dog is weird like that, lol.  Maybe she thinks it's cozy and snuggly?  I don't know, but whatever makes her happy.  :) 

Saturday evening we're going to a Halloween costume party.  We ordered Renaissance costumes online.  I'll take some pics.  Sunday I'm meeting up with Kim and Julia from Julia's Journey for lunch and then some shopping at the Dekalb Farmer's Market.  More pics!  It's going to be a busy weekend for sure.

Thanks to everyone who left lovely comments yesterday about Brittany's picture.  She is a beauty.  For the one person who asked if she gave me permission to post her picture online....yes, she did.  I mentioned that I spoke to her on FB yesterday.  We discussed the pics and she didn't have a problem with it at all....as a matter of fact, she emailed me 11 pics of her and her friends....and asked me to pic the most flattering ones!  I chose to only post one pic yesterday....but I'll probably post more in the future...maybe after we meet in person.  :) 

I'll be back with my weigh-in tomorrow.  I've been sitting at 248.0 for the last 2 weeks.  We'll see where I'm at tomorrow....hopefully still maintaining, at the very least, because I certainly don't think I've eaten enough this week to have a gain.  I've been on 1/2 a pill with my Zoloft for about a week and a half now.  Last night I bumped it up to 1 whole pill, which is 50 mg (the lowest dose), and again, I'm dizzy and have nausea today.  It's irritating, but I'm guess I'm just going to have to deal with the side effects if I'm ever going to get the full benefit from the medicine. 

Be back tomorrow.  :)

Picture of Brittany

This is my youngin' in her prom picture this year.

I talked to her on Facebook for a few minutes this morning.  She's terrified of telling her mother that she's ready to meet me.  She said she is ready to meet me and "this side of her family", as she put it, but she said her mom is very fragile and emotional, especially since Brittany's dad passed away last November.  Brittany said this is a huge, important thing and is just trying to spend a little time thinking of how to mention it to her mom w/o her mom taking it the wrong way and thinking Brittany is trying to replace her with someone else or any other such nonsense.

If you've never been part of an adoption process let me tell you....it's emotional, highly stressful and downright messy.  It's nerve-racking, consuming, and full of fear.  There was a highlight to today's conversation though. 

Brittany said she wanted to specifically tell me that she doesn't hate me, never has, and actually wanted to say a huge thank you for giving her to her parents instead of snuffing out her life like I could have with an abortion.  She said the last 19 years have been fantastic for her...being raised by the best parents in the world, and she wouldn't change a single thing....

I can't tell you what that did for my heart.....I really needed to hear that.  It starts the healing on some wounds that have laid bare within me for many, many years.

No matter how long it takes for us to meet....if we ever meet, due to her mom's reaction...doesn't really matter.

Either way....Brittany is a blessing.

Brittany Is Ready To Meet Me

Brittany is the child that I got pregnant with at 18 yrs old and adopted out to another family.  I wrote a post about it last year...if you want the back story, this is it:  http://foodaddict-fromfattofab.blogspot.com/2009/11/dagger-in-my-heart.html.

Ever since I found her on Facebook last year, I've talked to her about once every 6-8 weeks or so...just a short note to say hello and let her know I'm still alive and well, and to make sure she is also.  Well I saw her on Facebook last night, and we chatted for a bit.  She graduated from high school this year and is starting college in January.  After a few minutes of chatting, she said she's been wanting to ask me something and she's been thinking about it for a while now.  She asked if I'd be willing to meet her.

(I think I stopped breathing for a moment or two at this point...)

I told her that I'm always available to her for whatever she wants, and yes, I'd love to meet her if she's sure she's ready.  She said she will talk to her mom about it first...which I agreed is necessary and the respectful thing to do.  She is obviously as nervous about it as I am, because she asked if I minded if she brought her 2 best friends with her.  I understood her need for moral support, and told her she's more than welcome to bring her friends.  She also said she'd like to meet Dwayne.  I told her I will certainly ask him if he'd like to do that, and she said it was perfectly understandable if he didn't...that our (hers and mine) situation were way before he came around....and she understood if he wasn't comfortable.  She's so mature...I love that.

I gave her my phone # and told her to text or call whenever's she's talked to her mom and is ready to meet.

Needless to say I got NO sleep last night.  My mind was just racing.  I texted my mom and Dwayne.  They were both asleep and didn't answer.  I don't have a problem meeting her at all.  It's just the uncertainty of it all that has my mind spinning.  We could meet one time...she might just want to settle curiosity and ask some questions...and never see her again.  Or it could develop into a friendship where we see each other all along.  I just don't know.  And I don't know if I'm going to hold it together nicely, or fall apart emotionally the minute I look into my own eyes.  And should I take her a gift on our first meeting, or is that too contrived and typical? 

I do know that I'm overthinking everything, but when you're in the middle of a situation like this, it's hard not to.  I talked to my mom on the phone this morning and told her that I don't feel like I've been on my Zoloft long enough yet to deal with this.  My nerves are definitely shot after our conversation and zero sleep last night.  She told me in a couple of weeks I'll be leveled out and fine, and that I'll be able to handle everything just fine.  I texted Dwayne on his way to work and told him Brittany wanted to meet us and was he up for that.  He said yes, he'll meet her, and we'd talk about it tonight when he comes over. 

I read in the post above that I linked to provide the back story that I binged over Brittany thoughts last year.  Thinking back, I believe that was the last time I had a binge.  I think it's been a year.  Well last night....during those 6-7 hours of laying in bed, mind racing, conjuring up different scenarios in my head, and not being able to sleep....I felt that frantic feeling that precursors a binge.  It's been quite a while since I've felt that.  But I didn't give in.  I didn't put one drop of anything in my mouth.  But I have to tell you...sometimes this "feel your feelings instead of stuffing them down with food" stuff is for the birds.  The good news is, even though there's a lot going on in my head right now, I'm glad that guilt from a binge isn't one of the things I'm dealing with.

Update on Meds and Weigh-In

Hi guys.  Hope all of you are doing well.  I've been reading some blogs but not commenting very much.  I've weighed the exact same thing for the last 2 weeks which is 248.0 lbs.  I ate too many calories to lose this week, but not enough to gain.  It took me about a week after getting the Zoloft to start taking it because I kept forgetting...just wasn't in the habit yet.  So I started about a week ago....and found out the first day that they were making me very ill...which didn't happen when I took it several years ago...so that's weird. It gives me nausea and makes me very dizzy.  So I started cutting them in half.  I guess it'll be another couple of weeks to work up to the whole pill and get it fully in my system and working.  Just trying to hold it together on all fronts until I can get on an even keel.  I've been sitting here at my desk at work inbetween entering insurance claims, trying to put together a good grocery list for the week ahead.  That's not going so well...apparently I'm in a food rut and nothing sounds good to me...can't think of what to make...so I emailed Sean and asked him to shoot me some ideas.  Still waiting to hear from him.

Nothing major going on this wknd that I can think of.....except on Sunday....taking my baby sister for a pedicure.  Next wknd we have another puppy festival and then a friend invited us to a costume party Sat night.  We ordered costumes on line...I got a burgundy Renaissance-type gown/dress and Dwayne got a "tavern guy" costume....they look pretty cool, and I was shocked that they actually fit.  I usually don't have good luck ordering clothes online, so this was a plus. 

Then the next Sat, Oct. 30th, Dwayne wants to go back so Six Flags for Fright Fest like we did last year.  I think I'm about 10-15 lbs heavier than I was at this time last year, so I hope I fit on the rides.  I'm too scared to go back and look in the archives to see what the weight difference is.  Last year was a big deal.  It was the first time I'd ridden a roller coaster in over 20 years.  The last time before that I was 15 years old, went to an amusement park called Ghost Town In The Sky in Maggie Valley, NC.  I got on a ride and they couldn't click the safety bar due to my humongous stomach.  They made me get up and get off....walk the plank around the ride to the exit gate....the plank of humilitation.  20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.  So yeah....rode all the rides last year...feeling good...and now I'm scared I might not fit this year.  I really do NOT want to even try...but Dwayne's a big kid when it comes to Six Flags and he's very excited about going.  So I'm going to go, say a little prayer, and hope the safety bar clicks.

Hope everyone has a happy weekend.  :)

Awards and Apologies

Several people have given me awards over the last couple of months and I've been so self-absorbed with my addled brain that I haven't recognized them on my blog.  To everyone who gave me one, I sincerely apologize for that.  All of them have felt undeserving, but are still very much appreciated.  I tried to stop by the blogs of the people who gave them to me and thank them,  but if I missed you, please forgive me, and thanks to everyone who thought of me. 

Allan at Almost Gastric Bypass gave me an award tonight, and since I'm sitting at the computer and feeling a little less mentally sidetracked today, I'm going to post it.  Thank God there aren't any rules attached to it, lol.

I just ran across Allan about a month or so ago after he left a comment on my blog.  I really, really like him.  He has a no-nonsense approach to weight loss and it's basically this:  Just do it.  He treats it as a disease as serious as the cancer that his wife had 9 years ago.  She went for a check up today, and praise God, it looks like she's still 9 years cancer-free.  Allan is in NYC and has the language to match, lol.  He sugar coats nothing and I love him for that.  He posts several times a day.  He's dedicated and committed to improving his health and his eating lifestyle.  He inspires me every single day.

Thank you Allan for this award and for being one of my biggest cheerleaders.  I love that you believe in me.  I believe in you, too.  :)