I found this video on Pam's blog today at Journey To the Healthier Side of Life. I have no words to offer. I just want you to watch it. It's 7 mins. long.
Quote For the Day:
"We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse." -Rudyard Kipling
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Bad Eating Weekend....BAD
Gotta' make this a short post...its 12:30am, and I need to head to bed soon so I can get up early and have Baby Scarlette at the groomer's for her appointment. By the way, my precious little baby puppy dog turned 1 year old today...still a baby...but she'll always be Momma's baby. :)
What can I say about eating this weekend? I suck. That pretty much sums it up. I really hate that I can't be perfect and do everything right down to the letter. I really hate being a stupid human full of flaws, lol.
Friday I ate heatlhy stuff all day...counted all the calories....and I ate too many of them. For dinner, Dwayne and I went out to a restaurant and I decided I needed a hamburger and fries since I haven't had either since I started my travels 8 weeks ago. Trying to be responsible, I cut the hamburger in half, and separated the fries into 2 even piles. I ate half the burger and threw the other half away. I ate half the fries, and threw the other half away. Still way too many calories for the entire day, because I'd eaten too many before I even got to dinner. Just kept snacking. Damn that snacking.
Saturday was a total bust. No binge...no mega buffets or anything like that. Just no structure to my day whatsoever. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a total control freak, and I had no control over how today went. Makes me crazy and throws me off with my food decisions and calorie counting. In short, it pisses me off.
Dwayne has been car shopping for something used for 3 months now. It's wearing on me. I really thought he was ready to buy something this weekend, and we headed out early. We spent most of the day visiting car lots and test driving cars, and even ended up at a desk talking numbers at the last dealership we visited. Then he decided he just wasn't ready and we left. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!
Ate too much again today. I only have 2 small, tiny victories to report for today, but I lost the battle overall. I got on the treadmill right after breakfast this morning and walked 1.5 miles. Not the 2 miles I had worked up to, but it was something. The 2nd tiny thing was...I made some lean boneless pork ribs for dinner and finally made my Grandma's recipe for baked mac'n'chz that I haven't had in the last 8 weeks (Dwayne's favorite dish of mine). My roommate Shane and his girlfriend ended up going to her house, so they didn't eat dinner with us and I had nearly a whole casserole dish of that mac'n'chz and some pork ribs left over.
In order to get it out of my house (I didn't even want the leftovers in my house for Shane to eat the next day, because my eating had already been so poor this weekend), I told Dwayne to go ahead and head out earlier than usual for a Saturday night, and take all the leftovers to his buddy Kevin's house. I know that he usually hangs out at Kevin's on Sundays, so they'd have some food for tomorrow, and I wouldn't be tempted to eat anymore of it. YAY!
The baby will be at the groomer's for 2 hours tomorrow, so as soon as I drop her off, I'm heading back home and stopping by the fitness center at the front of the apt complex FIRST....I'm going to walk until I can't walk anymore....I'm going to walk until I FALL OFF that treadmill, trying to reverse some of the damage I did this weekend. I'm working on my 3rd 32 oz. glass of water for the day now, and will continue drowning myself until Friday's weigh-in.
I hope everyone is having a FAR better eating weekend than I am. :(
Quote For The Day:
"Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall." - Oliver Goldsmith
What can I say about eating this weekend? I suck. That pretty much sums it up. I really hate that I can't be perfect and do everything right down to the letter. I really hate being a stupid human full of flaws, lol.
Friday I ate heatlhy stuff all day...counted all the calories....and I ate too many of them. For dinner, Dwayne and I went out to a restaurant and I decided I needed a hamburger and fries since I haven't had either since I started my travels 8 weeks ago. Trying to be responsible, I cut the hamburger in half, and separated the fries into 2 even piles. I ate half the burger and threw the other half away. I ate half the fries, and threw the other half away. Still way too many calories for the entire day, because I'd eaten too many before I even got to dinner. Just kept snacking. Damn that snacking.
Saturday was a total bust. No binge...no mega buffets or anything like that. Just no structure to my day whatsoever. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a total control freak, and I had no control over how today went. Makes me crazy and throws me off with my food decisions and calorie counting. In short, it pisses me off.
Dwayne has been car shopping for something used for 3 months now. It's wearing on me. I really thought he was ready to buy something this weekend, and we headed out early. We spent most of the day visiting car lots and test driving cars, and even ended up at a desk talking numbers at the last dealership we visited. Then he decided he just wasn't ready and we left. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!
Ate too much again today. I only have 2 small, tiny victories to report for today, but I lost the battle overall. I got on the treadmill right after breakfast this morning and walked 1.5 miles. Not the 2 miles I had worked up to, but it was something. The 2nd tiny thing was...I made some lean boneless pork ribs for dinner and finally made my Grandma's recipe for baked mac'n'chz that I haven't had in the last 8 weeks (Dwayne's favorite dish of mine). My roommate Shane and his girlfriend ended up going to her house, so they didn't eat dinner with us and I had nearly a whole casserole dish of that mac'n'chz and some pork ribs left over.
In order to get it out of my house (I didn't even want the leftovers in my house for Shane to eat the next day, because my eating had already been so poor this weekend), I told Dwayne to go ahead and head out earlier than usual for a Saturday night, and take all the leftovers to his buddy Kevin's house. I know that he usually hangs out at Kevin's on Sundays, so they'd have some food for tomorrow, and I wouldn't be tempted to eat anymore of it. YAY!
The baby will be at the groomer's for 2 hours tomorrow, so as soon as I drop her off, I'm heading back home and stopping by the fitness center at the front of the apt complex FIRST....I'm going to walk until I can't walk anymore....I'm going to walk until I FALL OFF that treadmill, trying to reverse some of the damage I did this weekend. I'm working on my 3rd 32 oz. glass of water for the day now, and will continue drowning myself until Friday's weigh-in.
I hope everyone is having a FAR better eating weekend than I am. :(
Quote For The Day:
"Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall." - Oliver Goldsmith
Friday, July 10, 2009
Bummer
This morning I weighed in at 260.0 for a gain of 1.6 lbs. And that's all I have to say about that. Onward.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Detox Day
I had a fantastic weekend, but boy was it a bad one for eating. Way too much sodium. I haven't posted my calories and food because I didn't know what the nutrition stats were for everything I ate. Friday night, which I turned into Free Day, I had that Chinese food...no clue what that was. I'm sure it was through the roof in the carb and sodium departments though. Saturday I had about 500 calories before I went to Dwayne's mom's house for the cookout, saving 1,050 for that. I ate 2 pork spareribs, 2 spoons of potato salad, 1 spoon of coleslaw, 1 ear of corn, 2 small yeast rolls, 1 triangle of watermelon and a small piece of cake made with Splenda. I might have still been okay if it weren't for the fact that I got hungry again about 8pm. Mom told me about Kroger having crab legs on sale for $3.99/lb and Saturday was the last day of the sale! Have I mentioned that I'm a seafood FREAK? I ran myself over to Kroger, bought a pound and a half of crab legs which was 4 clusters, and the dog and I were in seafood Heaven. And yes, I dipped them in butter. REAL hot drawn butter. Is there any other way to properly eat crab legs? I think not. :)
As far as exercise goes, I went hiking for 2 hours with Dwayne on Friday, but I didn't do a dang thing on Saturday. Way too sore. I couldn't even lift my free weights to do any arm exercises. I enjoyed the holiday weekend, but I am truly glad that it's over! Time to get back on track, and it was slow going today, for sure. It took me ALL DAY LONG to talk myself into getting on that treadmill today, but I finally did it. I walked a mile in 15:50. I KNEW not to go more than 1 day w/o exercising. It is easy for me to fall out of the habit. So easy. I'm glad I made it down there. That in itself makes today a win! I did great with my calories too. My limit this week is 1550, but I purposely came in under. I got on the scale this morning and I did some damage over the wknd. I needed to jumpstart the next 5 days before time to weigh in. Maybe I'll break even by Friday...please God.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1046
Carbs 123
Fat 16
Protein 105
Here's my food intake for the day:
2 pcs. of homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
2 c. of coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Big salad (romanine, spinach, broc slaw, onions, tomatoes, cukes, bell peppers, lite Italian)
1/2 of a blueberry banana muffin
Big turkey burger (7 oz.) on sourdough w/ toms, onions, lettuce, lite mayo, ketchup
6 baby dill pickles
1 c. watermelon
1 frozen strawberry smoothie (1 c. strawbry, 1 c. 1% milk, 3 tbsp fat free lite van yogurt, ice)
(The smoothie wasn't sweet enough so I threw in 1 Stevia packet)
Lots of water....NO TEA, NO COKE......only water :)
Quote For The Day:
"There is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent, or hinder, or control a firm resolve of a determined soul." -Anonymous
As far as exercise goes, I went hiking for 2 hours with Dwayne on Friday, but I didn't do a dang thing on Saturday. Way too sore. I couldn't even lift my free weights to do any arm exercises. I enjoyed the holiday weekend, but I am truly glad that it's over! Time to get back on track, and it was slow going today, for sure. It took me ALL DAY LONG to talk myself into getting on that treadmill today, but I finally did it. I walked a mile in 15:50. I KNEW not to go more than 1 day w/o exercising. It is easy for me to fall out of the habit. So easy. I'm glad I made it down there. That in itself makes today a win! I did great with my calories too. My limit this week is 1550, but I purposely came in under. I got on the scale this morning and I did some damage over the wknd. I needed to jumpstart the next 5 days before time to weigh in. Maybe I'll break even by Friday...please God.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1046
Carbs 123
Fat 16
Protein 105
Here's my food intake for the day:
2 pcs. of homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
2 c. of coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Big salad (romanine, spinach, broc slaw, onions, tomatoes, cukes, bell peppers, lite Italian)
1/2 of a blueberry banana muffin
Big turkey burger (7 oz.) on sourdough w/ toms, onions, lettuce, lite mayo, ketchup
6 baby dill pickles
1 c. watermelon
1 frozen strawberry smoothie (1 c. strawbry, 1 c. 1% milk, 3 tbsp fat free lite van yogurt, ice)
(The smoothie wasn't sweet enough so I threw in 1 Stevia packet)
Lots of water....NO TEA, NO COKE......only water :)
Quote For The Day:
"There is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent, or hinder, or control a firm resolve of a determined soul." -Anonymous
Monday, June 22, 2009
The Calm After The Storm
Get comfy.....this is gonna' be a long one.
I realize that the better part of my blog so far has been negative. I've thought about that, felt bad about it, figured I should change it to something more positive, and keep coming back around to the word "no". This blog is helping me worlds over because it's exactly what I want it to be most.....it's real. It's my day by day, sometimes hour by hour, real life struggle to beat my addiction to overeating. It would be nice if it was a "feel good" blog filled with inspirational quotes, healthy living tips, taste great-low cal recipes, etc. but that's not where I am yet. I'm in a daily struggle to beat the demons disguised as fat cells that have taken over and ruined my life. This is my blog, created to help me, and anyone who wants to follow me through the muck and the mire while I get to where I'm going is welcome and appreciated. If it helps someone in the process, then I'm happy about that. If it only serves the purpose to help me work through my addiction, then I couldn't be more thankful for it.
With that said, I've got some good news to report. I haven't eaten another morsel of food since the last blog I posted. Not one crumb. Considering how high my anxiety levels were earlier this afternoon, I can not be more PROUD of myself. I have stayed UNDER my calorie limit for the 2nd day in a row. Today is another win. :)
I've had a couple of private emails from friends who think I'm restricting my caloric intake too much due to the anxiety I'm expressing in my posts and my constant feeling of hunger. In case there are anymore of you out there who are thinking the same thing and are just too afraid to contact me about it, let me go ahead and address this issue once and for all for everyone to read. Here's my line of thinking. When I signed up at SparkPeople to record and follow my nutrition stats, I put in my current weight and my goal weight. They also asked for the date I wanted to lose it by. I set a goal of 10 lbs a month. Everyone knows the recommended amt. for healthy weight loss, and to keep it off, is 1-2 lbs/wk. My goal is 2.5/wk. That is hardly an outrageous number, but I purposely set it a little high above the recommended amt. in order to push myself a little harder. I have been lazy about taking care of my body for years. It's time for a little hard work.
When I put these goal weights and dates in, it spit out a # for me to follow. I feel like if I had entered an unreasonable date....say, I want to lose 92 lbs in 3 months.....they wouldn't have given me any numbers.....they would have given me a tutorial on what a healthy rate of weight loss is. Their website is awesome, chock full of information about getting and staying healthy, and I trust that they know what they're doing.
They gave me a range of 1200-1550 calories a day. They are telling me it's ok to eat only 1200 calories a day, and I'm choosing the max of 1550. The reason that I'm stressing each day to stay under this limit or as close to it as possible is because I'm already figuring I'll eventually screw up, and probably in a big way. So if I eat my limit for the day, totally lose my mind, and decide I need a turkey burger that's 350 calories, I'm still a ways under 2,000 & should be ok. However, give me an inch, and I'm liable to take 3 miles. If I up the limit to 1700-1800.....then I might eat 2100, or even more. Trust me people. I know me. I know my track record. There is a method to the madness, even if you don't see it, or don't agree with it. For those of you who have mentioned this to me, thank you. You're showing me that you care, that you're pulling for me, and I just love you to pieces. :)
Now for how I managed to not eat anything for the rest of the day. First off, I told myself I needed to calm down. I needed to slow down, stop freaking, breathe, think, chill. I had blogged and gotten it out of my system and it was time to relax and not screw this up royally. Rebecca from "screwdestiny" had commented on one of my previous blogs and left me a good quote. I can't remember the exact words but the jist of it is that people put more importance on what they want now, ahead of what they want most. It's been running through my head all afternoon. I've been concentrating on what I want most. I kept putting off eating anything, waiting to see how long I could go. I did some laundry, washed dishes and cleaned my kitchen, took a long bath, called a friend on the phone and chatted for a while....I thought about eating, but I just held it in the back of my mind and brought other things to the forefront. I also kept thinking about Lyn at EscapefromObesity. She says to just slow down and think about what you're doing, or about to do. That's what I did.
Shane called to say he had decided to go to the food trough otherwise known as Golden Corral. I could have killed him for that. It was seafood night. Have I mentioned that seafood is my favorite food in the world? Of course, it wouldn't have been great seafood at a place like that....but some shrimp are better than no shrimp. I thought about it. For about 10 seconds. Nope. Not gonna' do it. Out of the question.....time to play fetch with the dog! I did that. Time to watch a new show on TV you've never seen before! I did that, too.
I did lots of stuff, but what I didn't do is overeat. I did not exceed my limit. I made it through another day. Thank you God for giving me the strength to resist a binge and the perseverance to press on towards my goal. Here are my stats for today:
Goal:
Calories 1550
Today's Amt.:
Calories 1523
There's one more thing I've been thinking about all through the day. My parents have become faithful followers of my blog. I have been blessed with the most loving, supportive, encouraging, completely wonderful parents in the world. They just don't come any better and I thank God for them every single day. Dad emailed me a couple of times this morning, and on the last email he sent one sentence. He doesn't say a whole lot, so when he does, I try to pay attention. He said, "There's no truer statement than mind over matter". He's right. Making your mind up is the biggest part of the battle, no matter what you're dealing with. One of the things he's told me over and over all through life is that I can do anything I want to if I put my mind to it. I can be anything I want to be. Do you know what the awesome power is in that statement? He actually believes that about me. And sometimes.....that's all it takes. :)
Hey Dad....make sure you check the blog before lunchtime tomorrow so I can tell you how far I walked on the treadmill. I think I've finally got my focus. I'm gonna' beat this thing. :)
I realize that the better part of my blog so far has been negative. I've thought about that, felt bad about it, figured I should change it to something more positive, and keep coming back around to the word "no". This blog is helping me worlds over because it's exactly what I want it to be most.....it's real. It's my day by day, sometimes hour by hour, real life struggle to beat my addiction to overeating. It would be nice if it was a "feel good" blog filled with inspirational quotes, healthy living tips, taste great-low cal recipes, etc. but that's not where I am yet. I'm in a daily struggle to beat the demons disguised as fat cells that have taken over and ruined my life. This is my blog, created to help me, and anyone who wants to follow me through the muck and the mire while I get to where I'm going is welcome and appreciated. If it helps someone in the process, then I'm happy about that. If it only serves the purpose to help me work through my addiction, then I couldn't be more thankful for it.
With that said, I've got some good news to report. I haven't eaten another morsel of food since the last blog I posted. Not one crumb. Considering how high my anxiety levels were earlier this afternoon, I can not be more PROUD of myself. I have stayed UNDER my calorie limit for the 2nd day in a row. Today is another win. :)
I've had a couple of private emails from friends who think I'm restricting my caloric intake too much due to the anxiety I'm expressing in my posts and my constant feeling of hunger. In case there are anymore of you out there who are thinking the same thing and are just too afraid to contact me about it, let me go ahead and address this issue once and for all for everyone to read. Here's my line of thinking. When I signed up at SparkPeople to record and follow my nutrition stats, I put in my current weight and my goal weight. They also asked for the date I wanted to lose it by. I set a goal of 10 lbs a month. Everyone knows the recommended amt. for healthy weight loss, and to keep it off, is 1-2 lbs/wk. My goal is 2.5/wk. That is hardly an outrageous number, but I purposely set it a little high above the recommended amt. in order to push myself a little harder. I have been lazy about taking care of my body for years. It's time for a little hard work.
When I put these goal weights and dates in, it spit out a # for me to follow. I feel like if I had entered an unreasonable date....say, I want to lose 92 lbs in 3 months.....they wouldn't have given me any numbers.....they would have given me a tutorial on what a healthy rate of weight loss is. Their website is awesome, chock full of information about getting and staying healthy, and I trust that they know what they're doing.
They gave me a range of 1200-1550 calories a day. They are telling me it's ok to eat only 1200 calories a day, and I'm choosing the max of 1550. The reason that I'm stressing each day to stay under this limit or as close to it as possible is because I'm already figuring I'll eventually screw up, and probably in a big way. So if I eat my limit for the day, totally lose my mind, and decide I need a turkey burger that's 350 calories, I'm still a ways under 2,000 & should be ok. However, give me an inch, and I'm liable to take 3 miles. If I up the limit to 1700-1800.....then I might eat 2100, or even more. Trust me people. I know me. I know my track record. There is a method to the madness, even if you don't see it, or don't agree with it. For those of you who have mentioned this to me, thank you. You're showing me that you care, that you're pulling for me, and I just love you to pieces. :)
Now for how I managed to not eat anything for the rest of the day. First off, I told myself I needed to calm down. I needed to slow down, stop freaking, breathe, think, chill. I had blogged and gotten it out of my system and it was time to relax and not screw this up royally. Rebecca from "screwdestiny" had commented on one of my previous blogs and left me a good quote. I can't remember the exact words but the jist of it is that people put more importance on what they want now, ahead of what they want most. It's been running through my head all afternoon. I've been concentrating on what I want most. I kept putting off eating anything, waiting to see how long I could go. I did some laundry, washed dishes and cleaned my kitchen, took a long bath, called a friend on the phone and chatted for a while....I thought about eating, but I just held it in the back of my mind and brought other things to the forefront. I also kept thinking about Lyn at EscapefromObesity. She says to just slow down and think about what you're doing, or about to do. That's what I did.
Shane called to say he had decided to go to the food trough otherwise known as Golden Corral. I could have killed him for that. It was seafood night. Have I mentioned that seafood is my favorite food in the world? Of course, it wouldn't have been great seafood at a place like that....but some shrimp are better than no shrimp. I thought about it. For about 10 seconds. Nope. Not gonna' do it. Out of the question.....time to play fetch with the dog! I did that. Time to watch a new show on TV you've never seen before! I did that, too.
I did lots of stuff, but what I didn't do is overeat. I did not exceed my limit. I made it through another day. Thank you God for giving me the strength to resist a binge and the perseverance to press on towards my goal. Here are my stats for today:
Goal:
Calories 1550
Today's Amt.:
Calories 1523
There's one more thing I've been thinking about all through the day. My parents have become faithful followers of my blog. I have been blessed with the most loving, supportive, encouraging, completely wonderful parents in the world. They just don't come any better and I thank God for them every single day. Dad emailed me a couple of times this morning, and on the last email he sent one sentence. He doesn't say a whole lot, so when he does, I try to pay attention. He said, "There's no truer statement than mind over matter". He's right. Making your mind up is the biggest part of the battle, no matter what you're dealing with. One of the things he's told me over and over all through life is that I can do anything I want to if I put my mind to it. I can be anything I want to be. Do you know what the awesome power is in that statement? He actually believes that about me. And sometimes.....that's all it takes. :)
Hey Dad....make sure you check the blog before lunchtime tomorrow so I can tell you how far I walked on the treadmill. I think I've finally got my focus. I'm gonna' beat this thing. :)
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