So it's not as amazing as the 6 lbs. I dropped last week, but it's still a loss. The scale said 231.0 this morning for a loss of 2.6 lbs. I feel pretty good about that, especially with bumping my calories to 1800 this week, as well as a couple of really high calorie days (Sat and Mon). I did workout 5 days this week, so I'm sure that played a part in it. All in all, I'm a happy girl. I've got one week left in this month. After Christmas I said I was bringing back my 10/lb month goal to give me something to strive for, then I blew that all to hell in January. So far I've lost 8.6 lbs in the last 3 weigh-in's. We'll see if I can knock out another 1.4 lb. loss next week to reach that 10 lb/mo goal this time. Hope all of you have a happy and safe weekend! :)
Quote For the Day:
"More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin." -Unknown
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wow, Really?
My weight this week is 227.6, for a loss of 2.4 lbs. I'm a bit shocked by that. I was praying I was doing enough just to maintain. It's inspiring to see a loss 2 weeks in a row. I'm back down to the 220's and I'm going to do my best to never see 230 again in my life.
I had mentioned I was bringing back my 10 lb/mo goal. Last Friday was the first week of the new month and I lost 3 lbs. This is the second week and I've lost 2.4 more. That means I've got 2 weeks left to lose 4.6 lbs and reach my goal. Do you think I can do it??? Oh you bet your sweet a$$ I can.
I've got to end this post so I can go bundle up and head out in the 17 degree weather to get to the gym. The elliptical awaits. :)
I had mentioned I was bringing back my 10 lb/mo goal. Last Friday was the first week of the new month and I lost 3 lbs. This is the second week and I've lost 2.4 more. That means I've got 2 weeks left to lose 4.6 lbs and reach my goal. Do you think I can do it??? Oh you bet your sweet a$$ I can.
I've got to end this post so I can go bundle up and head out in the 17 degree weather to get to the gym. The elliptical awaits. :)
Friday, October 9, 2009
Oh The Shame!!!!
I decided that Friday's are just too busy for me to post my weigh-in, so from now on I'll be doing it at night like all of my other posts.
I weighed 239 lbs. this morning for a 6 lb. GAIN. Wow. Double Wow. Bummer.
So....the goals for this coming week are.
1. 1500 calories a day, EVERY DAY! (No more easy breezy weekends!)
2. I said 6 mi at the park last night, but I think that's still too hard for me, so I'm doing 5 miles of walking at the park each day.
3. Lots of water...but this has never been an issue. I love water.
4. Try 3 new recipes to keep things interesting and post pics of them.
Today has been great!! I allotted 500 calories for dinner, and Dwayne and I had baked chicken wings w/ some bbq sauce on them that we bought in Cherokee...it was awesome! And we had a side of baked fries. Total calorie count for the day is 1498, I've had (3) 32 oz. glasses of water, and I hammered out 5 miles at the park today.
As a side note, when I got back to the car after doing my walk, I took off my shoes to look at my toes because they were hurting SO bad. My regular blisters have turned into blood blisters and they busted....ewwwwww. No more putting off new shoes. I've put it off for 4 months now and suffered through the pain due to the unemployment. I'm not sure which bill is going to take the blow from my purchase, but Dwayne and I are heading out tomorrow to pick up a new pair of New Balance walking shoes for me. I no longer care how much they cost...I'm buying them. I have diabetes and must take care of my feet. It's just too important.
For anyone who is considering taking the weekend off from calorie counting or weight watching, my advice to you is this: DON'T DO IT!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!! For pete's sake....a 6 pound gain!!!! I, my friends, am a loser. Big time. However, I'm going to work my buns off this week to make SURE I'm a winner next week...and the week after that!! I really need to get this consistency thing down pat. I want it to be second nature for me, just like it is with Sean. He just does it. It's not a chore...he's not pressured by counting them...he just does it. Consistently. Day after day, week after week. And he loses every single weigh-in.
One more thing. This isn't really a major thing, and probably really stupid to some people, but it's kind of important to me. I've said a couple of times that the reason I set the 10 lb/mo goal for myself is to give me something to strive for each month. I've missed it the last 2 months by a little bit, but if I would have made my monthly goal only 5 lbs, look how bad it would have been! I've got it at 10 lbs for a reason...to make me work harder.
With no goal, I'm a flounderer. That's not just with weight loss....that's in everything for me that's goal-oriented. That's the cool thing about working in Accounting. It's constant, insane, can't-possibly-get-it-done-in-time deadlines. I'm happy to say that where my jobs have been concerned, I have never missed a deadline. Not one time. I get a certain adrenaline rush from something like that. It's just the way my brain works.
You all know that I have a reward system set up for myself to add a little fun into my travels. I did that because when I first started, I had 92 lbs. to lose. That was pretty daunting, so I figured adding in some little rewards for every 15 lbs. lost was a great idea. After I set that up, I realized that I wanted a BIG reward at the end, for when I finally lost ALL 92 POUNDS!! Dwayne decided one night that since we both love the beach so much, that my big reward at the end would be a 7 day trip to Destin, FL for me, him and Scarlette. I couldn't think of anything more perfect.
Well....when he told me at the beginning of the week that he's fixing to be laid off soon, he also told me with a heavy heart, that we won't be able to go to Destin now. It's just too expensive. Of course I told him that was perfectly fine...that Destin doesn't matter to me....that what matters is that we both end up with good jobs again and get our finances back on track.
But just between you and me (meaning, all of Blogland, lol)...a big reward at the end DOES matter to me. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive, but I want it to be something special. I used to weigh 340 lbs. When I get to 180, my goal weight, I want to celebrate it!! I'm sending out a plea to all of you for any ideas on what I can make the reward. I'm not very creative....but I've already noticed this week that losing my focus on the big reward at the end has played into my complacency.
Before, when I was pounding out 6 miles on the track and hurting like hell, I'd just tell myself, "Think about Destin Tammy...you're less than 60 lbs away from it...think about Destin...palm trees, ocean breeze, sand and surf, tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them, Dwayne and Scarlette and no phone for 7 whole days, get those buns moving girl!" That's the kind of thing that works for me. I know some say that losing the weight should be reward enough. And it is in a way...but I can't help it. Call me selfish. I want something tangible to shoot for...something that signifies all of my hard work and dedication. Something to focus on and reach for while I chisel away at these last "few" pounds.
So...let me hear it! Send some ideas my way...I'm sure something will spark my interest! I've got to lose 6 friggin' lbs this week JUST to break even with last week and get back to 233. Grrrrrrrr! Onward!!
Quote For the Day:
"You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there." -Unknown Author
I weighed 239 lbs. this morning for a 6 lb. GAIN. Wow. Double Wow. Bummer.
So....the goals for this coming week are.
1. 1500 calories a day, EVERY DAY! (No more easy breezy weekends!)
2. I said 6 mi at the park last night, but I think that's still too hard for me, so I'm doing 5 miles of walking at the park each day.
3. Lots of water...but this has never been an issue. I love water.
4. Try 3 new recipes to keep things interesting and post pics of them.
Today has been great!! I allotted 500 calories for dinner, and Dwayne and I had baked chicken wings w/ some bbq sauce on them that we bought in Cherokee...it was awesome! And we had a side of baked fries. Total calorie count for the day is 1498, I've had (3) 32 oz. glasses of water, and I hammered out 5 miles at the park today.
As a side note, when I got back to the car after doing my walk, I took off my shoes to look at my toes because they were hurting SO bad. My regular blisters have turned into blood blisters and they busted....ewwwwww. No more putting off new shoes. I've put it off for 4 months now and suffered through the pain due to the unemployment. I'm not sure which bill is going to take the blow from my purchase, but Dwayne and I are heading out tomorrow to pick up a new pair of New Balance walking shoes for me. I no longer care how much they cost...I'm buying them. I have diabetes and must take care of my feet. It's just too important.
For anyone who is considering taking the weekend off from calorie counting or weight watching, my advice to you is this: DON'T DO IT!! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!! For pete's sake....a 6 pound gain!!!! I, my friends, am a loser. Big time. However, I'm going to work my buns off this week to make SURE I'm a winner next week...and the week after that!! I really need to get this consistency thing down pat. I want it to be second nature for me, just like it is with Sean. He just does it. It's not a chore...he's not pressured by counting them...he just does it. Consistently. Day after day, week after week. And he loses every single weigh-in.
One more thing. This isn't really a major thing, and probably really stupid to some people, but it's kind of important to me. I've said a couple of times that the reason I set the 10 lb/mo goal for myself is to give me something to strive for each month. I've missed it the last 2 months by a little bit, but if I would have made my monthly goal only 5 lbs, look how bad it would have been! I've got it at 10 lbs for a reason...to make me work harder.
With no goal, I'm a flounderer. That's not just with weight loss....that's in everything for me that's goal-oriented. That's the cool thing about working in Accounting. It's constant, insane, can't-possibly-get-it-done-in-time deadlines. I'm happy to say that where my jobs have been concerned, I have never missed a deadline. Not one time. I get a certain adrenaline rush from something like that. It's just the way my brain works.
You all know that I have a reward system set up for myself to add a little fun into my travels. I did that because when I first started, I had 92 lbs. to lose. That was pretty daunting, so I figured adding in some little rewards for every 15 lbs. lost was a great idea. After I set that up, I realized that I wanted a BIG reward at the end, for when I finally lost ALL 92 POUNDS!! Dwayne decided one night that since we both love the beach so much, that my big reward at the end would be a 7 day trip to Destin, FL for me, him and Scarlette. I couldn't think of anything more perfect.
Well....when he told me at the beginning of the week that he's fixing to be laid off soon, he also told me with a heavy heart, that we won't be able to go to Destin now. It's just too expensive. Of course I told him that was perfectly fine...that Destin doesn't matter to me....that what matters is that we both end up with good jobs again and get our finances back on track.
But just between you and me (meaning, all of Blogland, lol)...a big reward at the end DOES matter to me. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive, but I want it to be something special. I used to weigh 340 lbs. When I get to 180, my goal weight, I want to celebrate it!! I'm sending out a plea to all of you for any ideas on what I can make the reward. I'm not very creative....but I've already noticed this week that losing my focus on the big reward at the end has played into my complacency.
Before, when I was pounding out 6 miles on the track and hurting like hell, I'd just tell myself, "Think about Destin Tammy...you're less than 60 lbs away from it...think about Destin...palm trees, ocean breeze, sand and surf, tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them, Dwayne and Scarlette and no phone for 7 whole days, get those buns moving girl!" That's the kind of thing that works for me. I know some say that losing the weight should be reward enough. And it is in a way...but I can't help it. Call me selfish. I want something tangible to shoot for...something that signifies all of my hard work and dedication. Something to focus on and reach for while I chisel away at these last "few" pounds.
So...let me hear it! Send some ideas my way...I'm sure something will spark my interest! I've got to lose 6 friggin' lbs this week JUST to break even with last week and get back to 233. Grrrrrrrr! Onward!!
Quote For the Day:
"You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there." -Unknown Author
Friday, September 4, 2009
Two Goals Met!!
I weighed in at 241.8 this morning which gives me a 1 lb. loss this week. Thank God I didn't gain, and thank God the moving is over and I can look forward to a normal week!
A couple of things need to be noted this morning. First of all, I only lost 7.6 lbs this month, my goal being 10 lbs./mo., so I denoted my disappointment in that on my sidebar under Monthly Goals with a little frownie face, lol.
However, I lost more than my goal amount the first 2 months, so when I take the average of all 3 months together, I've lost a total of 30.2 lbs!! So in reality, I'm right on track! Of course, there's no cushion there now, so this coming month has to be spot on. Total focus and the highest importance given to the weight loss. Gonna' take it one week a time, make the best choices I can, and get in some daily exercise at the park. It's going to be a great week!
Also, I met a mini-goal this week. I set up a reward system, where I reward myself with something for every 15 lbs. lost. I hit the 30 lb mark today...time for another reward!! I have no idea what yet, likely something small due to my budget, but size and cost aren't the issue...it's the signifigance of the reward that matters to me. I told myself when I first started back in June that if I could just get to 30 lbs., then I'd really feel like I was on my way. I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal!! It's a fantastic day!!
Got a busy day ahead filled with chores and grocery shopping before Dwayne gets here this evening, as well as the cable guy coming by somewhere between 11a-2p to fix a small problem. I made another breakfast casserole last night for the next 4 mornings....only 166 calories per serving. Today's off to a great start! :)
A couple of things need to be noted this morning. First of all, I only lost 7.6 lbs this month, my goal being 10 lbs./mo., so I denoted my disappointment in that on my sidebar under Monthly Goals with a little frownie face, lol.
However, I lost more than my goal amount the first 2 months, so when I take the average of all 3 months together, I've lost a total of 30.2 lbs!! So in reality, I'm right on track! Of course, there's no cushion there now, so this coming month has to be spot on. Total focus and the highest importance given to the weight loss. Gonna' take it one week a time, make the best choices I can, and get in some daily exercise at the park. It's going to be a great week!
Also, I met a mini-goal this week. I set up a reward system, where I reward myself with something for every 15 lbs. lost. I hit the 30 lb mark today...time for another reward!! I have no idea what yet, likely something small due to my budget, but size and cost aren't the issue...it's the signifigance of the reward that matters to me. I told myself when I first started back in June that if I could just get to 30 lbs., then I'd really feel like I was on my way. I'm 1/3 of the way to my goal!! It's a fantastic day!!
Got a busy day ahead filled with chores and grocery shopping before Dwayne gets here this evening, as well as the cable guy coming by somewhere between 11a-2p to fix a small problem. I made another breakfast casserole last night for the next 4 mornings....only 166 calories per serving. Today's off to a great start! :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
Unacceptable Weigh-in
The scale says 250.0. I gained .6 of a lb. I have let "life" and stress rule my thoughts this week instead of focusing on the most important thing to me....myself, and my goal to lose this weight. This is unacceptable. That was the motivation for my post last night. I wrote it for me. I needed to sit down and really think hard about pulling the weight loss back into focus.
Life and stress and problems aren't going to go away. They will always be there in one form or another, and I am the only one that can control what I give priority to. If someone else needs something from me, too bad. If the move doesn't go as planned out and smooth as I want it to by the end of this month, too bad. If every single thing goes as wrong this week as it did last, too bad.
I'm moving myself and my goals back to the front of the list. Number one on the list...right where it should be. My desire is still there, that has never left, but it's time to get the focus back where it should be. Desire + focus + dedication to my MOST important goal in life will produce the losses that I want to see and move me down the scale towards my goal. I have 3 weeks left this month to reach the 10 lb. loss that I want. Time to push life aside and get down to business.
I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend filled with good choices for YOU and YOUR goals. Make it paramount. Be back later. :)
Life and stress and problems aren't going to go away. They will always be there in one form or another, and I am the only one that can control what I give priority to. If someone else needs something from me, too bad. If the move doesn't go as planned out and smooth as I want it to by the end of this month, too bad. If every single thing goes as wrong this week as it did last, too bad.
I'm moving myself and my goals back to the front of the list. Number one on the list...right where it should be. My desire is still there, that has never left, but it's time to get the focus back where it should be. Desire + focus + dedication to my MOST important goal in life will produce the losses that I want to see and move me down the scale towards my goal. I have 3 weeks left this month to reach the 10 lb. loss that I want. Time to push life aside and get down to business.
I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend filled with good choices for YOU and YOUR goals. Make it paramount. Be back later. :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
30 Year Habit
Oh my goodness, it's been a rough day...and an even rougher weekend in regards to eating. I said I wasn't going to get on the scale this week til Friday. I guess I lied. I HAD to know what kind of damage I've done to myself after 3 days of mindless eating so I got on the scale after I got out of the shower tonight. I've gained 3 lbs. since Friday's weigh-in. How deflating.
I've got some family issues going on that I'm not going to splatter all over my blog. I really don't need to...I know that we ALL have crap that we have to deal with that many times is out of our control. It's just there. It is what it is and we have to find a way to deal with it. So when I tell you it's bad...and will probably get way worse before it gets better...if it ever gets better...then you know it's the truth.
I noticed tonight that I've been stress eating today. I didn't go all out...but I did end up over my calorie limit by a couple of hundred calories....AGAIN. The only good thing I have to report is that I did 2.5 miles on the treadmill this morning, and then did another mile tonight, trying to mitigate the damage. I've also drank all of my water for the last 2 days. Hooray for small victories. I would say that I'm glad the weekend is over...but truthfully, the stress of what I have to do tomorrow to take care of some family business is going to be worse than the last 3 days put together. Pray that I find my focus and can pull through...that I can set my eating aside from the stress that's in my face and not let it be affected in a negative way.
About the 30 year habit....when I first started this blog, I tried to think as far back as I could to find out how long I've been fat. I figured out that it was around 15 years old that I really realized I had a weight problem. I was so wrong. For some reason, in this past week, a couple of childhood memories popped into my head and I realized it was long before 15 years of age. Talk about depressing.
I had a memory of going to Weight Watchers with my mom back when my grandmother on my Dad's side of the family was one of their meeting leaders. I don't remember my exact age, but I want to say that it was before I was 10 years old because I think we were living at the "old house" when we went. Can I tell you how embarassing it was to sit in those meetings in front of my grandmother, who I wasn't very close to in my younger years (that has changed as I've aged), having her talk to "me" (all of us) about why I'm fat. Oh good Lord. I hated that. I think I buried those memories for a reason. Our mind buries certain things to protect us. Not sure why it decided to pop back up this week but I sure wish it would have stayed tucked away. Also, it was not lost on me, even at that age, that my 2 sisters weren't there with us. There was a reason I was the only one Mom drug along with her. I was the fat one. Another lovely reminder of childhood.
Also, I have memories of going to a restaurant on the weekends called Valley's. I want to say my earliest memory was around 7 years old probably. My Dad worked out of town a lot so we mostly only saw him on the weekends when I was young. I'm sure all he wanted was a home-cooked meal after he'd eaten out of town all week...but he took us out a lot when he came home...I'm guessing because we begged him and he knew we'd eaten at home all week long and going to a nice restaurant sure was fun!! I was such a little pig apparently. I specifically remember Dad always asking us, after we finished our plate, if we had enough to eat. "Did you get enough to eat girls? Are you still hungry? Want anything else?"
Of course I'd had enough...but I specifically remember (and I'm so ashamed of this) thinking that Oh boy! I could have a whole other plate of food if I want!!! But then, even at 7 years old, I knew it would be impolite to make Dad pay for more food, and make the whole family sit there and wait while I ate another whole plate. My thought processes had NOTHING to do with the fact that I didn't need anymore food. I refuse to believe that I was still physically hungry. So I must have had food issues as young as 7 years old. That just blows my mind. I'm embarassed by that...I'm ashamed of it...and it's just one more memory that I wish would have stayed tucked away.
I've been a food addict for 30 years. Incredible. Incredibly depressing is more like it. Do you know how easy it would be for me to tell myself....30 years? Seriously, Tammy? There's no way you can break a 30 year habit. That's more than you can handle. You don't have it in you. It would take more work that you're capable of doing. Why waste your time? Just accept who you are and live with it. Oh yes, it would be easy to just lay down and quit. Yes indeedy.
Or......Or I could realize that I have a choice. I can choose the defeatist attitude, throw my hands up in the air, feel sorry for myself, let the embarassment and shame take over and hold me down for the rest of my life. I could "just accept it" and "live with it". I certainly could.
Or I could make the other choice. I could choose life. Real life. A healthy life. I could choose to hold my head up high in the face of those memories...stare them down...and show them that it IS possible to break 30 year habits. Hard, admittedly....but possible. And I do have it in me to do it. I can take all that shame and embarassment and disgust for myself and turn it into the tools I need to push me towards my goals. I can turn it into anger for letting myself go this long. I can turn it into determination to get on that treadmill every day, without fail, and walk myself right out of this fat body. I can turn it into perseverance with counting the calories and staying under my limits every single day, no matter WHAT is thrown my way. I can turn it into pride that I care enough about myself to commit to reaching my goals.
That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm taking my life back from the dreaded fat cells. I'm going to find out for the FIRST TIME what it's like to be a normal weight, because I obviously don't have a memory of ever being one. I don't have any skinny jeans stuck in the back of my closet to fit into because I've NEVER OWNED ANY. That's okay. That's perfectly okay. This whole "normal weight" thing is going to be completely new for me, and that in itself is exciting. I don't even know what I'm missing...I guess that's one way of looking at it. But I hear it's fantastic...it's liberating...it's something worth working towards and busting my a$$ for and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Freedom awaits....and I'm answering the call. I choose to lose. I choose to work hard. I choose to go at this with a positive attitude and leave the negative thoughts behind me. I choose to press on...to trudge through the muck and the mire that's been holding me back until I get to that mountain top. I will get there. I will. And I can't wait to see the view.....in my new skinny jeans. :)
Quote For The Day:
"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." -Chinese proverb
I've got some family issues going on that I'm not going to splatter all over my blog. I really don't need to...I know that we ALL have crap that we have to deal with that many times is out of our control. It's just there. It is what it is and we have to find a way to deal with it. So when I tell you it's bad...and will probably get way worse before it gets better...if it ever gets better...then you know it's the truth.
I noticed tonight that I've been stress eating today. I didn't go all out...but I did end up over my calorie limit by a couple of hundred calories....AGAIN. The only good thing I have to report is that I did 2.5 miles on the treadmill this morning, and then did another mile tonight, trying to mitigate the damage. I've also drank all of my water for the last 2 days. Hooray for small victories. I would say that I'm glad the weekend is over...but truthfully, the stress of what I have to do tomorrow to take care of some family business is going to be worse than the last 3 days put together. Pray that I find my focus and can pull through...that I can set my eating aside from the stress that's in my face and not let it be affected in a negative way.
About the 30 year habit....when I first started this blog, I tried to think as far back as I could to find out how long I've been fat. I figured out that it was around 15 years old that I really realized I had a weight problem. I was so wrong. For some reason, in this past week, a couple of childhood memories popped into my head and I realized it was long before 15 years of age. Talk about depressing.
I had a memory of going to Weight Watchers with my mom back when my grandmother on my Dad's side of the family was one of their meeting leaders. I don't remember my exact age, but I want to say that it was before I was 10 years old because I think we were living at the "old house" when we went. Can I tell you how embarassing it was to sit in those meetings in front of my grandmother, who I wasn't very close to in my younger years (that has changed as I've aged), having her talk to "me" (all of us) about why I'm fat. Oh good Lord. I hated that. I think I buried those memories for a reason. Our mind buries certain things to protect us. Not sure why it decided to pop back up this week but I sure wish it would have stayed tucked away. Also, it was not lost on me, even at that age, that my 2 sisters weren't there with us. There was a reason I was the only one Mom drug along with her. I was the fat one. Another lovely reminder of childhood.
Also, I have memories of going to a restaurant on the weekends called Valley's. I want to say my earliest memory was around 7 years old probably. My Dad worked out of town a lot so we mostly only saw him on the weekends when I was young. I'm sure all he wanted was a home-cooked meal after he'd eaten out of town all week...but he took us out a lot when he came home...I'm guessing because we begged him and he knew we'd eaten at home all week long and going to a nice restaurant sure was fun!! I was such a little pig apparently. I specifically remember Dad always asking us, after we finished our plate, if we had enough to eat. "Did you get enough to eat girls? Are you still hungry? Want anything else?"
Of course I'd had enough...but I specifically remember (and I'm so ashamed of this) thinking that Oh boy! I could have a whole other plate of food if I want!!! But then, even at 7 years old, I knew it would be impolite to make Dad pay for more food, and make the whole family sit there and wait while I ate another whole plate. My thought processes had NOTHING to do with the fact that I didn't need anymore food. I refuse to believe that I was still physically hungry. So I must have had food issues as young as 7 years old. That just blows my mind. I'm embarassed by that...I'm ashamed of it...and it's just one more memory that I wish would have stayed tucked away.
I've been a food addict for 30 years. Incredible. Incredibly depressing is more like it. Do you know how easy it would be for me to tell myself....30 years? Seriously, Tammy? There's no way you can break a 30 year habit. That's more than you can handle. You don't have it in you. It would take more work that you're capable of doing. Why waste your time? Just accept who you are and live with it. Oh yes, it would be easy to just lay down and quit. Yes indeedy.
Or......Or I could realize that I have a choice. I can choose the defeatist attitude, throw my hands up in the air, feel sorry for myself, let the embarassment and shame take over and hold me down for the rest of my life. I could "just accept it" and "live with it". I certainly could.
Or I could make the other choice. I could choose life. Real life. A healthy life. I could choose to hold my head up high in the face of those memories...stare them down...and show them that it IS possible to break 30 year habits. Hard, admittedly....but possible. And I do have it in me to do it. I can take all that shame and embarassment and disgust for myself and turn it into the tools I need to push me towards my goals. I can turn it into anger for letting myself go this long. I can turn it into determination to get on that treadmill every day, without fail, and walk myself right out of this fat body. I can turn it into perseverance with counting the calories and staying under my limits every single day, no matter WHAT is thrown my way. I can turn it into pride that I care enough about myself to commit to reaching my goals.
That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm taking my life back from the dreaded fat cells. I'm going to find out for the FIRST TIME what it's like to be a normal weight, because I obviously don't have a memory of ever being one. I don't have any skinny jeans stuck in the back of my closet to fit into because I've NEVER OWNED ANY. That's okay. That's perfectly okay. This whole "normal weight" thing is going to be completely new for me, and that in itself is exciting. I don't even know what I'm missing...I guess that's one way of looking at it. But I hear it's fantastic...it's liberating...it's something worth working towards and busting my a$$ for and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Freedom awaits....and I'm answering the call. I choose to lose. I choose to work hard. I choose to go at this with a positive attitude and leave the negative thoughts behind me. I choose to press on...to trudge through the muck and the mire that's been holding me back until I get to that mountain top. I will get there. I will. And I can't wait to see the view.....in my new skinny jeans. :)
Quote For The Day:
"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." -Chinese proverb
Friday, August 7, 2009
Month #2 Goal Met!!!
This morning the scale said 249.4 for a loss of 2.4 lbs. this week. That brings me to a grand total of 22.6 lbs. lost in 2 months/8 weeks!!! GOAL MET!!! I'm going to do something hard this week. I'm going to stay off of the scale until next Friday's weigh-in. I've been on it every day this week, watching it go up and down, up and down, and it's had me tied up in knots. I'm just going to eat within my calories, get in some daily exercise, and whatever happens next Friday, happens. It's going to be tough....I'm addicted to that dang scale...but our relationship is a toxic one, lol.
I'm headed off to the unemployment office shortly to sit in line for 3 hours and then find out how to file for an extension. I've been laid off since February and my benefits run out at the end of this month....and still not one single call for a job interview. Say a prayer for me that things go smoothly, because in about 3 short weeks, I'm going to be penniless if I can't get an extension worked out. Say a bigger prayer that SOMEBODY HIRES ME!!!!
I just ran into a girl named Tina at Fat Girl Dives In and I put her on my blogroll. I'm so excited because we're neighbors! She lives in Atlanta too! Tina, if you're reading and you know of any Accounting positions....Pleeeeeaaaassseee let me know! :)
I'm headed off to the unemployment office shortly to sit in line for 3 hours and then find out how to file for an extension. I've been laid off since February and my benefits run out at the end of this month....and still not one single call for a job interview. Say a prayer for me that things go smoothly, because in about 3 short weeks, I'm going to be penniless if I can't get an extension worked out. Say a bigger prayer that SOMEBODY HIRES ME!!!!
I just ran into a girl named Tina at Fat Girl Dives In and I put her on my blogroll. I'm so excited because we're neighbors! She lives in Atlanta too! Tina, if you're reading and you know of any Accounting positions....Pleeeeeaaaassseee let me know! :)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Have You Heard About Sean???
I'm sorry about the delay in the post, but I was waiting til Sean posted his good news so I could dedicate this post to him and the amazing milestone that he reached yesterday.....
SEAN HAS LOST 201 LBS!!!!
For any of you who haven't heard about Sean yet...especially the ones who have just recently started your blogs, he is definitely someone you want to check out. His blog is listed on my blogroll, "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser".
He emailed me yesterday afternoon with the fantastic news. He started his journey 325 days ago, and in less than a year, he has dropped from 505 lbs. to 304 lbs. What an amazing, hard-won accomplishment!! He deserves all the praise in the world for his tenacity, perseverance and consistency in his daily Battle Against Obesity.
Sean is just a super terrific guy....full of humility and kindess and a willing desire to help others in their weight loss struggles. He's here to tell us that it IS possible...just look at HIM. His blog is a daily account of his life as he takes off the weight. He's been down in the trenches...he's done the hard work...and he's still doing it every day. Sean's ultimate goal is to get down around 230 or whatever feels right for him. He is now LESS than 100 lbs away from his goal. It's all downhill from here.
Along with my best friend Pam, who has lost about 70 lbs. herself and inspired me to start my own weight loss blog, Sean is my next biggest mentor. He is a shining example of how it's done. The mental change that he has experienced towards food is an incredible inspiration to me. He has developed total control over food. There has been no specific "diet", no magic pill...his strategy is really quite simple. "Eat less, move more". He gave himself a daily limit of 1500 calories and he walks/jogs every day for his exercise.
It wasn't easy in the beginning. Walking was nearly impossible for him due to his size. But he did it. He stuck with it and he pushed through. The endurance that he's built over these last 300+ days is just phenomenal. Recently he and has family went to a Chinese buffet to celebrate one of their daughter's birthdays. He was able to eat a 700 calorie dinner and stay within his limits for the day. I am still not able to do that. I have to avoid the buffets altogether still. I don't have that kind of restraint yet and I know it. But one day I will. I'm going to keep following Sean's example and one day I'll be enjoying the successes that he has.
Please take a moment to hop over to his blog and give him a big Congrats. He sure deserves it! And if you're a new blogger and haven't seen his blog yet...I encourage you to read through and check out his travels. He can be the same inspiration to you that he is to me.
A word to Sean.....what can I say? You rock. You're the man. My heartfelt congratulations to you for such an amazing triumph in this battle. You are so close to having total victory over Obesity and I'm blessed to have found you and had the chance to follow your story. Thank you Sean for your example, for your humility, for truly caring about others and their struggles. Thank you for emailing me with the news yesterday as soon as you found out. I'm glad we're friends and that I have the opportunity to cheer you on all the way to the finish line!
I pulled today's quote from Amy H.'s blog at "No To The Deuce" a couple of weeks ago. I really like this one. :)
Quote For The Day:
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." -Henry David Thoreau
SEAN HAS LOST 201 LBS!!!!
For any of you who haven't heard about Sean yet...especially the ones who have just recently started your blogs, he is definitely someone you want to check out. His blog is listed on my blogroll, "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser".
He emailed me yesterday afternoon with the fantastic news. He started his journey 325 days ago, and in less than a year, he has dropped from 505 lbs. to 304 lbs. What an amazing, hard-won accomplishment!! He deserves all the praise in the world for his tenacity, perseverance and consistency in his daily Battle Against Obesity.
Sean is just a super terrific guy....full of humility and kindess and a willing desire to help others in their weight loss struggles. He's here to tell us that it IS possible...just look at HIM. His blog is a daily account of his life as he takes off the weight. He's been down in the trenches...he's done the hard work...and he's still doing it every day. Sean's ultimate goal is to get down around 230 or whatever feels right for him. He is now LESS than 100 lbs away from his goal. It's all downhill from here.
Along with my best friend Pam, who has lost about 70 lbs. herself and inspired me to start my own weight loss blog, Sean is my next biggest mentor. He is a shining example of how it's done. The mental change that he has experienced towards food is an incredible inspiration to me. He has developed total control over food. There has been no specific "diet", no magic pill...his strategy is really quite simple. "Eat less, move more". He gave himself a daily limit of 1500 calories and he walks/jogs every day for his exercise.
It wasn't easy in the beginning. Walking was nearly impossible for him due to his size. But he did it. He stuck with it and he pushed through. The endurance that he's built over these last 300+ days is just phenomenal. Recently he and has family went to a Chinese buffet to celebrate one of their daughter's birthdays. He was able to eat a 700 calorie dinner and stay within his limits for the day. I am still not able to do that. I have to avoid the buffets altogether still. I don't have that kind of restraint yet and I know it. But one day I will. I'm going to keep following Sean's example and one day I'll be enjoying the successes that he has.
Please take a moment to hop over to his blog and give him a big Congrats. He sure deserves it! And if you're a new blogger and haven't seen his blog yet...I encourage you to read through and check out his travels. He can be the same inspiration to you that he is to me.
A word to Sean.....what can I say? You rock. You're the man. My heartfelt congratulations to you for such an amazing triumph in this battle. You are so close to having total victory over Obesity and I'm blessed to have found you and had the chance to follow your story. Thank you Sean for your example, for your humility, for truly caring about others and their struggles. Thank you for emailing me with the news yesterday as soon as you found out. I'm glad we're friends and that I have the opportunity to cheer you on all the way to the finish line!
I pulled today's quote from Amy H.'s blog at "No To The Deuce" a couple of weeks ago. I really like this one. :)
Quote For The Day:
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." -Henry David Thoreau
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Big Reward
Guess what I've been thinking about all day? My goal weight...and more importantly...the month I set to reach it by. I know that some people don't believe in setting a date...they say it's not important...that making up your mind is what's important and once that's done..it doesn't really matter when you get there because you now have the knowledge that you WILL get there.
Well....that might work for some people...but not for me. I'm a flounderer. I have to have a specific goal month set...something to lock my eyes on...something to work towards with everything I have in me...something to get me excited from knowing that with each month that passes and another 10 lbs. gone....I'm really getting there this time. I'm really doing it. It makes it tangible for me. It makes me work harder. It gives me the drive I need to buckle down and get it done.
With that said...I already know within me that I'm not going to completely freak and turn the other way and gain back 200 lbs if I don't hit my goal in April. My mind has already been made about losing the weight, and about doing it in a healthy manner...based on an average loss of 2 lbs/wk or so. If it stretches out a little further because I hit a few plateaus along the way, then I'm okay with that. I'm already expecting the plateaus....it seems to happen to everyone and I'm no different than anyone else. I know I'll hate them when they get here....probably cuss my way all the way through it. But I know they're coming and my goal month is not set in stone.
HOWEVER....in order to keep my focus and my drive at the level it needs to be...I'm going to continue to focus on April. After all these years upon years of being fat, overweight, and eventually obese....I mean YEARS.....April seems like it's only a stone's throw away and that in itself is exciting to me.
I was also thinking about my reward system for every 15 lbs. I really like that idea and I'm glad I did that for myself. As I said before, when I was at my highest point of 340 lbs several years ago....and I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months....I never once rewarded myself that entire time. I should have. I think it's tremendously important to keep the momentum going and give yourself a pleasant little boost inbetween all the egg whites and turkey burger.
Then it hit me the other day. I haven't established the BIG reward for when I reach my goal!!! How could I have forgotten that? The most important reward of them all? Yes I know....there will be little rewards along the way.....fitting into restaurant booths, not breaking chairs, clothes that don't have elastic in the waist, higher self-esteem and confidence, etc. But I want something that I specifically set aside to congratulate myself for finally getting control over my life. For finally taking my life back from Obesity. For finally making my health and my life the most important thing over anything or anyone else. I deserve that, just as we ALL do.
I started thinking about what I love most...what I love to do the most...who I would want to share it with...something that I'd really feel was a substantial reward for all the hard work...for beating the demons that have held me down for so long....for finally, once and for all, breaking the chains of addiction.
And I found my answer. I talked to Dwayne about it and he's all for it. Dwayne, Scarlette and I are taking a 7 day trip to a beach to celebrate my success. Probably going to go to Destin, FL because I love the blue-green waters in the Gulf. As I've mentioned before, I love the water. I can't get enough of it. And now that I don't live anywhere close to it like I did when I lived in Jacksonville, FL.....I miss it so much more. When Dwayne and I make our beach trips now that we live in the middle of Georgia...it's usually to Hilton Head, SC. because it's the shortest distance to drive to get to the ocean....5 hours. I think Destin will be about a 7 hour drive if we go down through Alabama.
I am soooo looking forward to this. And the incentive is already working....we just decided a couple of days ago, and in that short time period I've already caught myself thinking about popping something in my mouth that I shouldn't....would put me over my calories for the day...and I've stopped and remembered Destin. Ocean-front condo....palm trees....blue skies....waves rolling in and lapping against the shore....running with the puppy and flying our kite....sand between my toes....pool and jacuzzi close by....being with Dwayne and Scarlette together for 7 whole days with no phone...no interference from the outside world....
Needless to say....I haven't gone over my calories. I am right on track and that's where I plan on staying.....all the way to Destin. :)
"Quote For The Day"
"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself." -Henry Ward Beecher
Well....that might work for some people...but not for me. I'm a flounderer. I have to have a specific goal month set...something to lock my eyes on...something to work towards with everything I have in me...something to get me excited from knowing that with each month that passes and another 10 lbs. gone....I'm really getting there this time. I'm really doing it. It makes it tangible for me. It makes me work harder. It gives me the drive I need to buckle down and get it done.
With that said...I already know within me that I'm not going to completely freak and turn the other way and gain back 200 lbs if I don't hit my goal in April. My mind has already been made about losing the weight, and about doing it in a healthy manner...based on an average loss of 2 lbs/wk or so. If it stretches out a little further because I hit a few plateaus along the way, then I'm okay with that. I'm already expecting the plateaus....it seems to happen to everyone and I'm no different than anyone else. I know I'll hate them when they get here....probably cuss my way all the way through it. But I know they're coming and my goal month is not set in stone.
HOWEVER....in order to keep my focus and my drive at the level it needs to be...I'm going to continue to focus on April. After all these years upon years of being fat, overweight, and eventually obese....I mean YEARS.....April seems like it's only a stone's throw away and that in itself is exciting to me.
I was also thinking about my reward system for every 15 lbs. I really like that idea and I'm glad I did that for myself. As I said before, when I was at my highest point of 340 lbs several years ago....and I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months....I never once rewarded myself that entire time. I should have. I think it's tremendously important to keep the momentum going and give yourself a pleasant little boost inbetween all the egg whites and turkey burger.
Then it hit me the other day. I haven't established the BIG reward for when I reach my goal!!! How could I have forgotten that? The most important reward of them all? Yes I know....there will be little rewards along the way.....fitting into restaurant booths, not breaking chairs, clothes that don't have elastic in the waist, higher self-esteem and confidence, etc. But I want something that I specifically set aside to congratulate myself for finally getting control over my life. For finally taking my life back from Obesity. For finally making my health and my life the most important thing over anything or anyone else. I deserve that, just as we ALL do.
I started thinking about what I love most...what I love to do the most...who I would want to share it with...something that I'd really feel was a substantial reward for all the hard work...for beating the demons that have held me down for so long....for finally, once and for all, breaking the chains of addiction.
And I found my answer. I talked to Dwayne about it and he's all for it. Dwayne, Scarlette and I are taking a 7 day trip to a beach to celebrate my success. Probably going to go to Destin, FL because I love the blue-green waters in the Gulf. As I've mentioned before, I love the water. I can't get enough of it. And now that I don't live anywhere close to it like I did when I lived in Jacksonville, FL.....I miss it so much more. When Dwayne and I make our beach trips now that we live in the middle of Georgia...it's usually to Hilton Head, SC. because it's the shortest distance to drive to get to the ocean....5 hours. I think Destin will be about a 7 hour drive if we go down through Alabama.
I am soooo looking forward to this. And the incentive is already working....we just decided a couple of days ago, and in that short time period I've already caught myself thinking about popping something in my mouth that I shouldn't....would put me over my calories for the day...and I've stopped and remembered Destin. Ocean-front condo....palm trees....blue skies....waves rolling in and lapping against the shore....running with the puppy and flying our kite....sand between my toes....pool and jacuzzi close by....being with Dwayne and Scarlette together for 7 whole days with no phone...no interference from the outside world....
Needless to say....I haven't gone over my calories. I am right on track and that's where I plan on staying.....all the way to Destin. :)
"Quote For The Day"
"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself." -Henry Ward Beecher
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Spreading The Love
Today has been pretty good. :) I stayed within my calories, and while I didn't walk on the treadmill, I did move a truckload of stuff to new house we're moving into in a month. With all the lifting and carrying boxes, up and down the stairs several times, I'm quite sure that my heart rate was elevated for an extended period of time and I can count that as my cardio for the day. :) Tomorrow's goal is to hit the treadmill right after breakfast, then over to the tag office to get my sticker for the car, and then to Mom's to borrow the truck to move another load. I really need to up my exercise...I need to push harder if I ever want my endurance to improve.
I spent a LOT of time on the computer tonight reading weight loss blogs. There have been a couple of ladies who have been commenting on my posts lately and I finally set aside the time to look them up and check out their blogs. What a great bunch of people! I've added all of them to my blogroll as well as signed up on theirs. If I missed anyone, please let me know!
I found Sheilagh at 60x60.....she lives in England and has a fantastic list of things she wants to do before she turns 60. I need a list.....still working on that!
I found Amy at The Not So Secret Life of a Not So Super Together Mom....I haven't read her entire blog yet....or anyone's for that matter....but I think she lives in VT. because she posted some pics of a lovely hike her and her husband took. The views from the mountaintop that she climbed are just gorgeous. I also learned that her sister is her personal trainer and I think that's great...I'm really going to enjoy following her blog.
I found another Amy at Amos the Lionheart a couple of weeks ago and she is one of my inspirations for walking. She's doing SO much more than I am.....just as K from Fat(free)Me is doing and I'm super jealous of these awesome women! They're really pushing through and getting it done and I think of them daily when I'm gearing up to get my exercise done.
There's also Tena from Texas over at Shrink To Fit. I love the way this woman writes. It comes across as if she's sitting right across the kitchen table from you. And she is perfect at placing her curse words in just the right spot.....her blog is REAL....and she knows, just as I do, that sometimes only a curse word will do. :)
Then there's Less of Lisa that I found about a week ago. Can't remember where she lives right now, but this girl is a TRIP! We have a lot of the same health issues, including PCOS, so I identified with her immediately when I found her blog. Lisa is so cool....she posts fat pics in her bathing suit and her underwear, lol. She's letting it all hang out there for the world to see as she grabs the bull by the horns and gets her weight off. God bless anybody who's got that kind of guts....I sure don't.
I have been amiss in not mentioning Diane from Fit to the Finish yet. This lady is amazing. I learned about her through my best friend Pam at Journey To the Healthier Side of Life. She has like 7 kids, lives in Florida and did all of her exercising in that high heat and humidity that I remember so well (I'm originally from Jacksonville, FL), and she lost over 100 lbs and has kept it off for like 12 YEARS!!!! Her blog is a help to me every day. She learned so many valuable tips and lessons along the way and is more than willing to share with anyone who wants to listen and better their own lives.
Speaking of Pam....I will never stop singing HER praises. Pam's blog is also REAL...she has her ups and downs and she blogs about all of it. What I really enjoy about her blog is that she's always reading and learning about health stuff that otherwise I'd never know about if she weren't informing me of it through her daily posts. Right now she's got 2 posts up that are REALLY cool.....all of you go check it out. One is a challenge by one of her blogger friends that I joined tonight and will be starting tomorrow. The other is Operation Fat Blaster...a website where you can list your goals and there's a whole group of people there to cheer you on to your victory. Very positive stuff. :)
I've mentioned Sean and his blog several hundred times now, lol, but in case anyone missed it, it's called the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. Sean started his blog at 505 lbs. He is now down almost 200 lbs. and I just don't even have the words for amazing he is. He has a humility and a true desire to help others than I rarely see in people. In fact, he helped me reach out to a fellow weight loss blogger just tonight, which leads me to Susan's blog.
Susan has a weight loss blog called The Quiet Diet. I'm fixing to ruin the "quiet" aspect of her blog and I apologize to her for that....but she needs some encouragement. I'm hoping mentioning her in the post tonight will lead you to check it out on my blogroll, and head on over to offer her any kind words that you can. We are all in this battle together and when one of us is lagging, it is so important for the rest of us to lift them up and tell them that they CAN do it. I know Susan's got it in her...I can read it in her words...she just needs a little help from us. Thank you Sean for already reaching out to her with your amazing story.
There are others that I read every single day but to list them ALL would keep me here all night. Jack, you know you're loved. I also recently found Fitcetera...as well as Zaa who I'm really enjoying at Zaababy....and of course, there's Lyn at Escape from Obesity who was one of my first inspirations to start my blog, right behind Pam. There are a few others and I love you all!! You are all just incredibly amazing people...fellow soldiers in the battle...terrific inspirations to me during my travels...and I'm so glad I found you. I want you all to know how appreciated and special you are. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul." -Sir J. Stephen
I spent a LOT of time on the computer tonight reading weight loss blogs. There have been a couple of ladies who have been commenting on my posts lately and I finally set aside the time to look them up and check out their blogs. What a great bunch of people! I've added all of them to my blogroll as well as signed up on theirs. If I missed anyone, please let me know!
I found Sheilagh at 60x60.....she lives in England and has a fantastic list of things she wants to do before she turns 60. I need a list.....still working on that!
I found Amy at The Not So Secret Life of a Not So Super Together Mom....I haven't read her entire blog yet....or anyone's for that matter....but I think she lives in VT. because she posted some pics of a lovely hike her and her husband took. The views from the mountaintop that she climbed are just gorgeous. I also learned that her sister is her personal trainer and I think that's great...I'm really going to enjoy following her blog.
I found another Amy at Amos the Lionheart a couple of weeks ago and she is one of my inspirations for walking. She's doing SO much more than I am.....just as K from Fat(free)Me is doing and I'm super jealous of these awesome women! They're really pushing through and getting it done and I think of them daily when I'm gearing up to get my exercise done.
There's also Tena from Texas over at Shrink To Fit. I love the way this woman writes. It comes across as if she's sitting right across the kitchen table from you. And she is perfect at placing her curse words in just the right spot.....her blog is REAL....and she knows, just as I do, that sometimes only a curse word will do. :)
Then there's Less of Lisa that I found about a week ago. Can't remember where she lives right now, but this girl is a TRIP! We have a lot of the same health issues, including PCOS, so I identified with her immediately when I found her blog. Lisa is so cool....she posts fat pics in her bathing suit and her underwear, lol. She's letting it all hang out there for the world to see as she grabs the bull by the horns and gets her weight off. God bless anybody who's got that kind of guts....I sure don't.
I have been amiss in not mentioning Diane from Fit to the Finish yet. This lady is amazing. I learned about her through my best friend Pam at Journey To the Healthier Side of Life. She has like 7 kids, lives in Florida and did all of her exercising in that high heat and humidity that I remember so well (I'm originally from Jacksonville, FL), and she lost over 100 lbs and has kept it off for like 12 YEARS!!!! Her blog is a help to me every day. She learned so many valuable tips and lessons along the way and is more than willing to share with anyone who wants to listen and better their own lives.
Speaking of Pam....I will never stop singing HER praises. Pam's blog is also REAL...she has her ups and downs and she blogs about all of it. What I really enjoy about her blog is that she's always reading and learning about health stuff that otherwise I'd never know about if she weren't informing me of it through her daily posts. Right now she's got 2 posts up that are REALLY cool.....all of you go check it out. One is a challenge by one of her blogger friends that I joined tonight and will be starting tomorrow. The other is Operation Fat Blaster...a website where you can list your goals and there's a whole group of people there to cheer you on to your victory. Very positive stuff. :)
I've mentioned Sean and his blog several hundred times now, lol, but in case anyone missed it, it's called the Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. Sean started his blog at 505 lbs. He is now down almost 200 lbs. and I just don't even have the words for amazing he is. He has a humility and a true desire to help others than I rarely see in people. In fact, he helped me reach out to a fellow weight loss blogger just tonight, which leads me to Susan's blog.
Susan has a weight loss blog called The Quiet Diet. I'm fixing to ruin the "quiet" aspect of her blog and I apologize to her for that....but she needs some encouragement. I'm hoping mentioning her in the post tonight will lead you to check it out on my blogroll, and head on over to offer her any kind words that you can. We are all in this battle together and when one of us is lagging, it is so important for the rest of us to lift them up and tell them that they CAN do it. I know Susan's got it in her...I can read it in her words...she just needs a little help from us. Thank you Sean for already reaching out to her with your amazing story.
There are others that I read every single day but to list them ALL would keep me here all night. Jack, you know you're loved. I also recently found Fitcetera...as well as Zaa who I'm really enjoying at Zaababy....and of course, there's Lyn at Escape from Obesity who was one of my first inspirations to start my blog, right behind Pam. There are a few others and I love you all!! You are all just incredibly amazing people...fellow soldiers in the battle...terrific inspirations to me during my travels...and I'm so glad I found you. I want you all to know how appreciated and special you are. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul." -Sir J. Stephen
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Hurts So Good
This is going to be a short post....I am soooo exhausted tonight. But I'm happy. :)
Dwayne and I felt so good about our hike yesterday that we decided to do another one today. It was in the same general area but a different trail. This one is called the Kolb's Farm Loop. It was a 5.5 mile hike, and we knew we wouldn't make it all the way, especially after still being a little sore from yesterday, but we decided we'd at least do 2 miles of it.
We had another beautiful day today...enjoyed some lovely scenery. Part of the walk was in full sun and part was shaded deep in the woods. We crossed over two bridges that spanned Ward's Creek so I got to enjoy seeing the water....my favorite thing in the world. It's my therapy. We picked some blackberries and munched on them along the way but they were nowhere near ripe, lol. It was still fun to do. :)
We walked 2 miles in before we realized we needed to stop and turn around to get back to the car. That meant 2 miles back.......4 MILES altogether and we were only going to do 2 miles!! It was a lot harder getting back out than it was going in. There was a little uphill walking going in, but there was a HUGE hill that we walked down....which meant that we were going to have to climb it to get back out. After about the 3rd mile of walking I became painfully aware that I had blisters on nearly all of my toes and the pads of my feet. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy the scenery as much heading out as I did going in. My concentration was on my screaming feet and trying to breathe while climbing that dang hill. There were a couple of times I had to stop while climbing it and the thoughts of rolling back down it seemed like a very real possibility.
I think Dwayne thought I wasn't going to make it a couple of times. He would slow down and let me catch up. He knew my feet were shot so he held my hand in the downward spots so I wouldn't slip and fall. He gently encouraged me all the way....told me what a great job I was doing. He was awesome to take me hiking both days and I'm glad we got to spend that time together. We also had our little puppy Scarlette with us. Bless her heart, lol. We had been giving her plenty of water but she started lagging behind and when Dwayne told me to stop and let her rest, I turned around to look at her and she plopped down right in the middle of the trail, just a panting. We felt sorry for her so I carried her for a ways....and then Dwayne stuck her down in the backpack and zipped it only halfway to hold her in. I was walking behind him so she could see her Momma. She was so adorable....cute little face and front paws hanging out of the bag...bouncing along the trail on Daddy's back. Too precious. I really need to invest in a digital camera.
We finally made it out and I've never been so happy to sit down in all my life. I was hurting bad...even Dwayne was in some serious pain this time. We made it home and hobbled upstairs. We both got showers and sat down to eat some dinner we picked up at the Publix deli. He knew my feet were ruined and wouldn't be able to stand up and cook the turkey breast I had planned for dinner, so he suggested Publix, picked it up and paid for it. Works for me.
Our original plan was to hike all 3 days of my birthday weekend (birthday tomorrow!), but after today, we mutually agreed that there will be no birthday hike tomorrow, lol. My feet really need to heal a bit first. But I am so happy and content right now. I'm working towards my goals every day and now Dwayne is starting to tag along with me. It feels good...it feels GREAT!! Even the exhaustion feels good because I know it's due to really pushing myself with the exercise. It hurts to even walk across the carpet right now...but I'm doing it with a smile. :)
I said this was going to be a short post tonight didn't I? You guys should know me better than that by now. :) 'Nite nite.
Quote For The Day:
"Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself." -Theodore T. Hunger
Dwayne and I felt so good about our hike yesterday that we decided to do another one today. It was in the same general area but a different trail. This one is called the Kolb's Farm Loop. It was a 5.5 mile hike, and we knew we wouldn't make it all the way, especially after still being a little sore from yesterday, but we decided we'd at least do 2 miles of it.
We had another beautiful day today...enjoyed some lovely scenery. Part of the walk was in full sun and part was shaded deep in the woods. We crossed over two bridges that spanned Ward's Creek so I got to enjoy seeing the water....my favorite thing in the world. It's my therapy. We picked some blackberries and munched on them along the way but they were nowhere near ripe, lol. It was still fun to do. :)
We walked 2 miles in before we realized we needed to stop and turn around to get back to the car. That meant 2 miles back.......4 MILES altogether and we were only going to do 2 miles!! It was a lot harder getting back out than it was going in. There was a little uphill walking going in, but there was a HUGE hill that we walked down....which meant that we were going to have to climb it to get back out. After about the 3rd mile of walking I became painfully aware that I had blisters on nearly all of my toes and the pads of my feet. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy the scenery as much heading out as I did going in. My concentration was on my screaming feet and trying to breathe while climbing that dang hill. There were a couple of times I had to stop while climbing it and the thoughts of rolling back down it seemed like a very real possibility.
I think Dwayne thought I wasn't going to make it a couple of times. He would slow down and let me catch up. He knew my feet were shot so he held my hand in the downward spots so I wouldn't slip and fall. He gently encouraged me all the way....told me what a great job I was doing. He was awesome to take me hiking both days and I'm glad we got to spend that time together. We also had our little puppy Scarlette with us. Bless her heart, lol. We had been giving her plenty of water but she started lagging behind and when Dwayne told me to stop and let her rest, I turned around to look at her and she plopped down right in the middle of the trail, just a panting. We felt sorry for her so I carried her for a ways....and then Dwayne stuck her down in the backpack and zipped it only halfway to hold her in. I was walking behind him so she could see her Momma. She was so adorable....cute little face and front paws hanging out of the bag...bouncing along the trail on Daddy's back. Too precious. I really need to invest in a digital camera.
We finally made it out and I've never been so happy to sit down in all my life. I was hurting bad...even Dwayne was in some serious pain this time. We made it home and hobbled upstairs. We both got showers and sat down to eat some dinner we picked up at the Publix deli. He knew my feet were ruined and wouldn't be able to stand up and cook the turkey breast I had planned for dinner, so he suggested Publix, picked it up and paid for it. Works for me.
Our original plan was to hike all 3 days of my birthday weekend (birthday tomorrow!), but after today, we mutually agreed that there will be no birthday hike tomorrow, lol. My feet really need to heal a bit first. But I am so happy and content right now. I'm working towards my goals every day and now Dwayne is starting to tag along with me. It feels good...it feels GREAT!! Even the exhaustion feels good because I know it's due to really pushing myself with the exercise. It hurts to even walk across the carpet right now...but I'm doing it with a smile. :)
I said this was going to be a short post tonight didn't I? You guys should know me better than that by now. :) 'Nite nite.
Quote For The Day:
"Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself." -Theodore T. Hunger
Friday, July 17, 2009
First Goal Met...and Surpassed!!
The scale says 254.0 this morning....I LOST 6 LBS.!!!!!! I finally met, and exceeded, my first 15 lb. goal and now it's time for a reward!! Problem is, I don't have the money to buy the one I had planned for myself, lol. Time to re-work the reward ideas. I'll be thinking about that and let you know what I come up with.
I've lost 18 lbs. in 5 weeks....man, this feels good!! All the scratching and clawing and crying this week was worth it. I used the advice of 3 different people on last Friday's weigh-in and ensuing gain to achieve my awesome loss this week. One is my friend Chris, who is a nurse, and alerted me to the fact that in order for cardio to really benefit you in weight loss, you need to have your heart rate elevated for a continuous 20 minutes at least.
My best friend Pam, who is also a weight loss blogger and can be found here: http://www.thinnerin08.blogspot.com/, gave me some FANTASTIC ideas on chopping up my veggies at the beginning of the week and having them on hand to use. She also suggested crock pot meals on the days I know I'm going to be away from the house or super busy and might be too tired to cook dinner in the evening. Those two tips proved to be invaluable to me this week. I ate TONS of veggies in at least 2 meals of each day, and I used the crock pot a couple of different times this week, also. Thanks Pam!!!
Finally, the third person that offered their advice when I begged for it was Sean at: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. He's the one that let me know my calories were all over the map last week, and to give consistency a shot to see if that helps. He challenged me to keep them between 1350-1550 and just see what happens. Well, I chose to get even more consistent than that and kept them right at the 1550 mark all week long, and 6 LBS GONE is what happened!!
Thanks to all of you that assisted me in achieving this loss this week. I love you all and appreciate your advice, support and encouragement...as well as always taking the time to comment on my blog. It means a lot to me....it's a huge help in pushing onward.
Everyone have a GREAT FRIDAY, and I'll be back later tonight for my usual daily post! :)
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will." -Vince Lombardi
I've lost 18 lbs. in 5 weeks....man, this feels good!! All the scratching and clawing and crying this week was worth it. I used the advice of 3 different people on last Friday's weigh-in and ensuing gain to achieve my awesome loss this week. One is my friend Chris, who is a nurse, and alerted me to the fact that in order for cardio to really benefit you in weight loss, you need to have your heart rate elevated for a continuous 20 minutes at least.
My best friend Pam, who is also a weight loss blogger and can be found here: http://www.thinnerin08.blogspot.com/, gave me some FANTASTIC ideas on chopping up my veggies at the beginning of the week and having them on hand to use. She also suggested crock pot meals on the days I know I'm going to be away from the house or super busy and might be too tired to cook dinner in the evening. Those two tips proved to be invaluable to me this week. I ate TONS of veggies in at least 2 meals of each day, and I used the crock pot a couple of different times this week, also. Thanks Pam!!!
Finally, the third person that offered their advice when I begged for it was Sean at: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. He's the one that let me know my calories were all over the map last week, and to give consistency a shot to see if that helps. He challenged me to keep them between 1350-1550 and just see what happens. Well, I chose to get even more consistent than that and kept them right at the 1550 mark all week long, and 6 LBS GONE is what happened!!
Thanks to all of you that assisted me in achieving this loss this week. I love you all and appreciate your advice, support and encouragement...as well as always taking the time to comment on my blog. It means a lot to me....it's a huge help in pushing onward.
Everyone have a GREAT FRIDAY, and I'll be back later tonight for my usual daily post! :)
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will." -Vince Lombardi
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Aspirations
Wow!! Sean's Letter sure did solicit a huge response. There's obviously too many comments for me to address each one individually, so thanks to all of you for taking the time to leave me a message. I'm glad that most of you received the same blessing from it that I did.
Today is WAY better than yesterday in regards to food. I've already had dinner and even a Weight Watchers big, fat fudge bar for dessert (110 calories), and I still have 400 calories left for the day! This is what I mean on the days that I tell you I have to make myself get up to 1550, just to be consistent. By the way, Pam helped me with my fitness section on my nutrition guide. I've been steadily increasing the speed on the 20 mins I've been doing on the treadmill. The first couple of days I was burning 209 calories each time and now I'm up to 292. The nutrition tracker automatically readjusted my calorie limits and now my top number is no longer 1550, it's 1590, so that's where I've been eating at for the last 3 days.
I was thinking about all the things I miss today in regards to food....Grandma's Baked Macaroni and Cheese....Mom's potato salad that nobody else in the world can seem to get right.....Aunt Shirley's chicken and dumplings, the ones that Cracker Barrell tries to imitate but doesn't even come close to.....garlic fried pork chops and ginger fried chicken.........and then I stopped. I told myself that instead of focusing on the things that have led me to the size that I am and caused me all this hard work in the first place, why don't I focus on the things that I won't miss?
Things I Won't Miss
Not being able to squeeze into restaurant booths w/o Fire and Rescue having to call in the Jaws of Life to get me out.
Hiking up a mountain w/o looking around to see where's a good spot to land the Life Flight helicopter in case my heart finally announces, "I surrender".
Being able to wear my cute little high-heeled sandals again w/o looking like a potato on stilts.
Fat rash. If you're not fat enough to know what this is, don't even ask me...I'm not explaining it.
Being able to wear Dwayne's hoodies in the wintertime w/o waddling around looking like the Michelin man.
I'm sure there are more things that I won't miss, but these are all the ones I've come up with so far. I'll give you an updated list on down the road. I'm nervous as usual since it's Weigh-in Eve, but I feel like there should be a decent loss on the scale in the morning. I know you're not supposed to hope for a certain amount, but after busting my a$$ all week, I'm looking for at least 3 lbs. If you don't see my weight loss post pretty early in the morning, chances are I've thrown myself on the ground, kicking and screaming and shaking my head like a crazy woman, crying out to God, "Why?! Why?!?! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!"
It's either going to be that or the buck-naked Happy Dance....neither one of them are going to be pretty. :)
Pam gave me the quote for tonight's post...it's a good one. Sleep well and sweet dreams to all.
"Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Roberta Brenick
Today is WAY better than yesterday in regards to food. I've already had dinner and even a Weight Watchers big, fat fudge bar for dessert (110 calories), and I still have 400 calories left for the day! This is what I mean on the days that I tell you I have to make myself get up to 1550, just to be consistent. By the way, Pam helped me with my fitness section on my nutrition guide. I've been steadily increasing the speed on the 20 mins I've been doing on the treadmill. The first couple of days I was burning 209 calories each time and now I'm up to 292. The nutrition tracker automatically readjusted my calorie limits and now my top number is no longer 1550, it's 1590, so that's where I've been eating at for the last 3 days.
I was thinking about all the things I miss today in regards to food....Grandma's Baked Macaroni and Cheese....Mom's potato salad that nobody else in the world can seem to get right.....Aunt Shirley's chicken and dumplings, the ones that Cracker Barrell tries to imitate but doesn't even come close to.....garlic fried pork chops and ginger fried chicken.........and then I stopped. I told myself that instead of focusing on the things that have led me to the size that I am and caused me all this hard work in the first place, why don't I focus on the things that I won't miss?
Things I Won't Miss
Not being able to squeeze into restaurant booths w/o Fire and Rescue having to call in the Jaws of Life to get me out.
Hiking up a mountain w/o looking around to see where's a good spot to land the Life Flight helicopter in case my heart finally announces, "I surrender".
Being able to wear my cute little high-heeled sandals again w/o looking like a potato on stilts.
Fat rash. If you're not fat enough to know what this is, don't even ask me...I'm not explaining it.
Being able to wear Dwayne's hoodies in the wintertime w/o waddling around looking like the Michelin man.
I'm sure there are more things that I won't miss, but these are all the ones I've come up with so far. I'll give you an updated list on down the road. I'm nervous as usual since it's Weigh-in Eve, but I feel like there should be a decent loss on the scale in the morning. I know you're not supposed to hope for a certain amount, but after busting my a$$ all week, I'm looking for at least 3 lbs. If you don't see my weight loss post pretty early in the morning, chances are I've thrown myself on the ground, kicking and screaming and shaking my head like a crazy woman, crying out to God, "Why?! Why?!?! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!"
It's either going to be that or the buck-naked Happy Dance....neither one of them are going to be pretty. :)
Pam gave me the quote for tonight's post...it's a good one. Sleep well and sweet dreams to all.
"Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Roberta Brenick
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
It's All About Attitude
GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL WORLD!!! Ok, I'm not really feeling that chipper, but it's the attitude I'm choosing to take today. We've all heard the saying...."life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it". Each of us gets to choose what attitude we're going to have towards life and circumstance every single day. I'm choosing to push past all the b.s. today and focus on more positive things....things that will help me stay on track and further myself in my travels to good health. I've got a busy day ahead so I'm going to finish my breakfast, hit the treadmill, and take care of business.
In case any of you are wondering, I haven't gone on a binge. I thought about it...for about 2 seconds. And then I chased that thought out of my head just as fast as it entered it. I didn't allow myself to binge because it just doesn't jive with what I'm working so hard to accomplish. It's simply not an option for me anymore. Not saying it's easy....but it IS that simple. I'll be back later tonight with a longer post....I know how much you guys loooooove the long ones. :)
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson
In case any of you are wondering, I haven't gone on a binge. I thought about it...for about 2 seconds. And then I chased that thought out of my head just as fast as it entered it. I didn't allow myself to binge because it just doesn't jive with what I'm working so hard to accomplish. It's simply not an option for me anymore. Not saying it's easy....but it IS that simple. I'll be back later tonight with a longer post....I know how much you guys loooooove the long ones. :)
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Going For The Gold!!!
Today has been A-W-E-S-O-M-E!! By now everyone knows that this morning's weigh-in was a bust. I gained 1.6 lbs. on the 4th week. Only 4 weeks into it and I've already got a gain. I could look at it like that.
I choose to look at it like this.....I knew yesterday it was going to be bad so I got busy trying to figure out how to do better. I took advice from people who have "been there, done that" as well as advice from a friend who's a registered nurse, pondered all of it, and developed a plan to make this week better. Of course, I have no way of knowing how it will work out until next weigh day. Truth be told, I could still be doing some things wrong. That's not the point. The point is, I'm doing my best to be proactive in losing the weight, trying new things to see what works for me because everyone's different, and I'm learning as I go. As long as I'm open to continuously learning, helpful criticism, and willing to do "whatever it takes" (as Dad so wisely told me this morning), then I can only get better.
I left out early this morning to meet my two sisters, Brandy and Amy, and my adorable little nieces and nephews....Grace and Carla, age 4, Elijah, age 2 1/2 and Cyress, age 2. We took the babies to a farm in Cartersville so they could feed and pet the animals. I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Yes, the kids drive me nuts when they're all in the same house running around playing and screaming and "being kids" (much of this due to the fact that I don't have any children of my own and am just not used to the chaos). But when we're out and about, actually doing something that they enjoy and that holds their attention....well it's just the coolest thing in the world to be a part of.
There were lots of animals for the kids to interact with and the guy showing us around the farm was extremely knowledgeable on all of them. I tipped him $10 for taking the time to educate us and for his patience with the kids. He made the trip a pleasure. We got to see camels (including a baby one), a young cow that the kids got to walk right up to and pet...he wasn't fenced in, he just freely roams around the farm, some beautiful peacocks, a porcupine, tortoises, baby kangaroos, cockatiels, macaws, donkeys, horses, goats (including one that was only a week old and the most adorable thing you've ever seen), ostriches, emus, the biggest bull I've ever seen in my life who just happened to be named Buttercup, a Mexican bull that had a rack like a Texas longhorn, and zebras. Very, very cool. The kids had a great time, they got to feed and pet most of the animals w/ the exception of the bulls, and they asked if we would bring them back again. Of course we will!!
Brandy had told me the night before that we were going to swing thru McDonald's for breakfast on our way to the farm. I was prepared and ate my breakfast casserole this morning before I left...183 calories. Of course when we pulled thru, I could smell those Egg McMuffins. I've mentioned before that my sense of smell is my biggest saboteur when it comes to food. But I held strong and resisted the temptation. After we left the farm, I knew we'd be going to lunch, but didn't know where. I wasn't too worried about it because my sister Brandy is very conscious of her weight and never varies more than 5 lbs. She is 6' tall and weighs 155 lbs. She's a stick and she loves it. She's got a couple of fast food places that she goes to when she's out and about because she's got the calories memorized on the things she eats there. One of the big ones is Chic-fil-A. I figured wherever we ended up, I'd just follow her lead and be okay.
Boy was I wrong. They decided they wanted Mexican!! Crap. Driving on home and skipping the restaurant wasn't an option because I was riding with my sister Amy. My car was back at Mom's house. I was so screwed, lol. I could smell those fajitas from 5 miles away. Here we go, I thought. We got there and I surveyed the menu. It's so hard to eat in a restaurant and calorie count when you haven't had a chance to check a nutrition guide online ahead of time. Los Reyes doesn't even have one, but we ended up at El Nopal. And then there's always the dreaded sodium that there's just no escaping. I didn't want to make my sisters uncomfortable by not ordering anything at all, so I got a glass of water and 1 chicken soft taco, which by the way, was half the size of the ones at Los Reyes, so that was a good thing. It had maybe 3 oz of chicken in it w/ tomatoes and onions...I said no to the shredded cheese and only got lettuce on it. Cost me $2.14. I think that was the cheapest lunch I've ever had in my life.
I white-knuckled the table while the rest of the family members gobbled down their fajitas, cheese dip, and chips and salsa. Oh the smell....I was in Mexican Heaven....or Hell...however you want to look at it. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I had to physically restrain my arm from reaching into that chip bowl no less than 25 times during the course of our lunch. What a habit it is to eat those free chips and salsa! You don't even think about it....your hand just automatically reaches for those greasy, crispy, salty treats. I didn't eat a single one. Not even a crumb. I didn't touch the cheese dip. I didn't eat any of the fajitas that Amy didn't finish. I ate my 3-bite taco, sucked the bottom out of my water glass, and prayed for them to hurry the hell up so we could get out of there.
All that soft taco did was whet my appetite. My stomach wasn't growling when we first got to the restaurant, but it sure was raising a ruckus when we left. I finally made it back to my car and straight home to make another taco. I had made my own version of chicken soft tacos the night before and still had some left over. It was so good....totally worth the wait. I'm glad I made it through the restaurant ordeal.
I did some chores around the house and when it was time to cook dinner I sauteed some baby scallops (found them on sale for $3.99/lb!) with some broccoli, onions, mushrooms, and red and green bell peppers. I threw in some garlic, ginger, adobo, red pepper flakes and low sodium soy sauce. FABULOUS meal. Just fabulous. And less than 300 calories. As good as it tasted, it wasn't very filling, so I ended up making a ham wrap later. I still had too many calories left over and I was serious about not going under 1350, so I ate stuff here and there until I got pretty close to the 1550 mark.
I went down and got on the treadmill like I said I was going to start doing EVERY day. The daily requirement is now 20 minutes until I build up some endurance. I was already dying at 15-16 mins to do the mile I was doing. Apparently I didnt' know what death was, lol. I walked at a speed of 4.0 for the first 17 mins and then dropped the speed down to 3.5 for the last 3 minutes. At the 20 min marker I had walked 1.3 miles and I fell off the machine. Oh! By the way, when I first got in the fitness room I got on our elliptical machine for the first time. I attempted it. I lasted 1 minute, lol. I truly don't think I'll be on that thing agan for at least the next 50 lbs. It hurts your thigh muscles just to stand on it....before you even start using it. While I was fooling around with it, thinking in my head "never again", a pretty fit-looking guy came in the fitness room. I immediately asked him if he wanted the elliptical so I could get off of it and make it look like I was just being nice....not that it was killing me. He said, "Are you kidding me? I hate that thing. It's a b*tch!" Yeah, no kidding.
The calorie counting website that I use has a fitness section that I perused for the first time tonight. I found a place to enter in "walking on treadmill". It offered different times for different amounts of miles. I chose the "1 mile in 15 mins" option, thinking that doing 1.3 mi in 20 mins would be pretty darn accurate. It said I burned 209 calories!! GO SKINNY TAMMY!! I also got in the kitchen and chopped up a ton of veggies. I soooo didn't feel like it. I was tired and sore after the treadmill, sweating like a pig, and ready to call it a day. But I said I was going to do it today so I knew I needed to. I argued with myself first (I do this a lot):
Go chop up the veggies.
I don't feel like it tonight.
You laid out a plan yesterday. You've gotta' stick to it.
I'm just so tired tonight.
That's your excuse every night. This will assist you each night for the rest of the week.
Can't you see I just burned a whopping 209 calories on the treadmill?!?!
Good for you. Now get busy.
Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
Several times in the last 4 weeks, but I'm also the reason you exceeded your 10 lb. monthly goal with a 12 lb. loss. Now get in there and start chopping...Porkchop Girl.
Touche :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Calories 1528
Carbs 80
Fat 53
Protein 183
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole (see yesterday's post for ingredients)
1 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 El Nopal chicken soft taco with lettuce, no cheese
1 homemade chicken soft taco w/ lettuce on wheat tortilla
Scallop stir fry
Ham wrap on wheat tortilla w/ lettuce, tomatoes, onions, lite mayo, lite Italian dressing
Bowl of chicken stew (5 oz chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate
Lots of water
1 protein water....NO TEA....NO COKE :)
One final thought....I know you're all just DYING for this long-winded post to end. :) Several years ago during one of the Olympic games Nike put out a commercial. It is my favorite commercial of all time. It had one statement written on the screen that said, "You don't win silver, you lose gold." WOW. DOUBLE WOW. Oh the fallout that was going to come from that one. They had stepped in it big time. Needless to say, all of the silver medalists had a global freak-out and I watched the news like a hawk over the next couple of days to see what Nike's response was going to be. I figured they would buckle under the pressure and fall all over themselves apologizing. They didn't.
They put out a statement saying that while the silver medalists had made outstanding achievements and should be proud of what they had attained, Nike holds themselves to a standard of the highest excellence, one that the gold medal represents, and they would continue to do so. Awesome. Let me just say that there's nothing wrong with going for the gold, for wanting to be the absolute best you can be and working hard to reach it. The world is full of mediocrity and good intentions. Be different! Set your goal to be the best you can possibly be and do what it takes to get there. There's a saying that goes, "Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." I've always hated that saying. In my mind you should be shooting for the moon and not stopping til you reach it. Go for the gold!!! Happy Moonwalking. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failure? I've never encountered it....only temporary setbacks." -Bill Marriott, Marriott Hotels
I choose to look at it like this.....I knew yesterday it was going to be bad so I got busy trying to figure out how to do better. I took advice from people who have "been there, done that" as well as advice from a friend who's a registered nurse, pondered all of it, and developed a plan to make this week better. Of course, I have no way of knowing how it will work out until next weigh day. Truth be told, I could still be doing some things wrong. That's not the point. The point is, I'm doing my best to be proactive in losing the weight, trying new things to see what works for me because everyone's different, and I'm learning as I go. As long as I'm open to continuously learning, helpful criticism, and willing to do "whatever it takes" (as Dad so wisely told me this morning), then I can only get better.
I left out early this morning to meet my two sisters, Brandy and Amy, and my adorable little nieces and nephews....Grace and Carla, age 4, Elijah, age 2 1/2 and Cyress, age 2. We took the babies to a farm in Cartersville so they could feed and pet the animals. I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Yes, the kids drive me nuts when they're all in the same house running around playing and screaming and "being kids" (much of this due to the fact that I don't have any children of my own and am just not used to the chaos). But when we're out and about, actually doing something that they enjoy and that holds their attention....well it's just the coolest thing in the world to be a part of.
There were lots of animals for the kids to interact with and the guy showing us around the farm was extremely knowledgeable on all of them. I tipped him $10 for taking the time to educate us and for his patience with the kids. He made the trip a pleasure. We got to see camels (including a baby one), a young cow that the kids got to walk right up to and pet...he wasn't fenced in, he just freely roams around the farm, some beautiful peacocks, a porcupine, tortoises, baby kangaroos, cockatiels, macaws, donkeys, horses, goats (including one that was only a week old and the most adorable thing you've ever seen), ostriches, emus, the biggest bull I've ever seen in my life who just happened to be named Buttercup, a Mexican bull that had a rack like a Texas longhorn, and zebras. Very, very cool. The kids had a great time, they got to feed and pet most of the animals w/ the exception of the bulls, and they asked if we would bring them back again. Of course we will!!
Brandy had told me the night before that we were going to swing thru McDonald's for breakfast on our way to the farm. I was prepared and ate my breakfast casserole this morning before I left...183 calories. Of course when we pulled thru, I could smell those Egg McMuffins. I've mentioned before that my sense of smell is my biggest saboteur when it comes to food. But I held strong and resisted the temptation. After we left the farm, I knew we'd be going to lunch, but didn't know where. I wasn't too worried about it because my sister Brandy is very conscious of her weight and never varies more than 5 lbs. She is 6' tall and weighs 155 lbs. She's a stick and she loves it. She's got a couple of fast food places that she goes to when she's out and about because she's got the calories memorized on the things she eats there. One of the big ones is Chic-fil-A. I figured wherever we ended up, I'd just follow her lead and be okay.
Boy was I wrong. They decided they wanted Mexican!! Crap. Driving on home and skipping the restaurant wasn't an option because I was riding with my sister Amy. My car was back at Mom's house. I was so screwed, lol. I could smell those fajitas from 5 miles away. Here we go, I thought. We got there and I surveyed the menu. It's so hard to eat in a restaurant and calorie count when you haven't had a chance to check a nutrition guide online ahead of time. Los Reyes doesn't even have one, but we ended up at El Nopal. And then there's always the dreaded sodium that there's just no escaping. I didn't want to make my sisters uncomfortable by not ordering anything at all, so I got a glass of water and 1 chicken soft taco, which by the way, was half the size of the ones at Los Reyes, so that was a good thing. It had maybe 3 oz of chicken in it w/ tomatoes and onions...I said no to the shredded cheese and only got lettuce on it. Cost me $2.14. I think that was the cheapest lunch I've ever had in my life.
I white-knuckled the table while the rest of the family members gobbled down their fajitas, cheese dip, and chips and salsa. Oh the smell....I was in Mexican Heaven....or Hell...however you want to look at it. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I had to physically restrain my arm from reaching into that chip bowl no less than 25 times during the course of our lunch. What a habit it is to eat those free chips and salsa! You don't even think about it....your hand just automatically reaches for those greasy, crispy, salty treats. I didn't eat a single one. Not even a crumb. I didn't touch the cheese dip. I didn't eat any of the fajitas that Amy didn't finish. I ate my 3-bite taco, sucked the bottom out of my water glass, and prayed for them to hurry the hell up so we could get out of there.
All that soft taco did was whet my appetite. My stomach wasn't growling when we first got to the restaurant, but it sure was raising a ruckus when we left. I finally made it back to my car and straight home to make another taco. I had made my own version of chicken soft tacos the night before and still had some left over. It was so good....totally worth the wait. I'm glad I made it through the restaurant ordeal.
I did some chores around the house and when it was time to cook dinner I sauteed some baby scallops (found them on sale for $3.99/lb!) with some broccoli, onions, mushrooms, and red and green bell peppers. I threw in some garlic, ginger, adobo, red pepper flakes and low sodium soy sauce. FABULOUS meal. Just fabulous. And less than 300 calories. As good as it tasted, it wasn't very filling, so I ended up making a ham wrap later. I still had too many calories left over and I was serious about not going under 1350, so I ate stuff here and there until I got pretty close to the 1550 mark.
I went down and got on the treadmill like I said I was going to start doing EVERY day. The daily requirement is now 20 minutes until I build up some endurance. I was already dying at 15-16 mins to do the mile I was doing. Apparently I didnt' know what death was, lol. I walked at a speed of 4.0 for the first 17 mins and then dropped the speed down to 3.5 for the last 3 minutes. At the 20 min marker I had walked 1.3 miles and I fell off the machine. Oh! By the way, when I first got in the fitness room I got on our elliptical machine for the first time. I attempted it. I lasted 1 minute, lol. I truly don't think I'll be on that thing agan for at least the next 50 lbs. It hurts your thigh muscles just to stand on it....before you even start using it. While I was fooling around with it, thinking in my head "never again", a pretty fit-looking guy came in the fitness room. I immediately asked him if he wanted the elliptical so I could get off of it and make it look like I was just being nice....not that it was killing me. He said, "Are you kidding me? I hate that thing. It's a b*tch!" Yeah, no kidding.
The calorie counting website that I use has a fitness section that I perused for the first time tonight. I found a place to enter in "walking on treadmill". It offered different times for different amounts of miles. I chose the "1 mile in 15 mins" option, thinking that doing 1.3 mi in 20 mins would be pretty darn accurate. It said I burned 209 calories!! GO SKINNY TAMMY!! I also got in the kitchen and chopped up a ton of veggies. I soooo didn't feel like it. I was tired and sore after the treadmill, sweating like a pig, and ready to call it a day. But I said I was going to do it today so I knew I needed to. I argued with myself first (I do this a lot):
Go chop up the veggies.
I don't feel like it tonight.
You laid out a plan yesterday. You've gotta' stick to it.
I'm just so tired tonight.
That's your excuse every night. This will assist you each night for the rest of the week.
Can't you see I just burned a whopping 209 calories on the treadmill?!?!
Good for you. Now get busy.
Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
Several times in the last 4 weeks, but I'm also the reason you exceeded your 10 lb. monthly goal with a 12 lb. loss. Now get in there and start chopping...Porkchop Girl.
Touche :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Calories 1528
Carbs 80
Fat 53
Protein 183
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole (see yesterday's post for ingredients)
1 c. coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 El Nopal chicken soft taco with lettuce, no cheese
1 homemade chicken soft taco w/ lettuce on wheat tortilla
Scallop stir fry
Ham wrap on wheat tortilla w/ lettuce, tomatoes, onions, lite mayo, lite Italian dressing
Bowl of chicken stew (5 oz chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
1 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate
Lots of water
1 protein water....NO TEA....NO COKE :)
One final thought....I know you're all just DYING for this long-winded post to end. :) Several years ago during one of the Olympic games Nike put out a commercial. It is my favorite commercial of all time. It had one statement written on the screen that said, "You don't win silver, you lose gold." WOW. DOUBLE WOW. Oh the fallout that was going to come from that one. They had stepped in it big time. Needless to say, all of the silver medalists had a global freak-out and I watched the news like a hawk over the next couple of days to see what Nike's response was going to be. I figured they would buckle under the pressure and fall all over themselves apologizing. They didn't.
They put out a statement saying that while the silver medalists had made outstanding achievements and should be proud of what they had attained, Nike holds themselves to a standard of the highest excellence, one that the gold medal represents, and they would continue to do so. Awesome. Let me just say that there's nothing wrong with going for the gold, for wanting to be the absolute best you can be and working hard to reach it. The world is full of mediocrity and good intentions. Be different! Set your goal to be the best you can possibly be and do what it takes to get there. There's a saying that goes, "Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." I've always hated that saying. In my mind you should be shooting for the moon and not stopping til you reach it. Go for the gold!!! Happy Moonwalking. :)
Quote For The Day:
"Failure? I've never encountered it....only temporary setbacks." -Bill Marriott, Marriott Hotels
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan
I already know that tomorrow's weigh-in is not going to be a good one. Last Friday I weighed 258.4. After the Chinese I had that night on "free day", and the 4th of July eating on Saturday, I managed to gain 4.4 lbs. in a 24 hour time period. Don't ask me how, but I did. The proof was on the scale when I got on early Sunday morning. Freak out time. I knew I had 6 days to get off 4.4 lbs. JUST to break even....forget about losing below 258.4. Well I got on the scale again this morning and I'm just not going to make it. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow morning, but I feel certain it's going to show a gain from last week's weigh-in. Again, freak out time.
I spent all day, on and off, emailing people to find out what in the world I did wrong this week. I talked to 3 people and all of them gave me some great advice. It's time for a new plan. Although my calories only exceeded my 1550 limit one day this week, they were all over the map. One day they were around 990 and another I think it was 1046. The over day was around 1900. There was absolutely no consistency whatsoever, and apparently that's a problem.
Also, although I was way more active this week than I normally am, the fact is, for exercise to assist you in actually LOSING, your heart rate HAS to be elevated for at least 20 consecutive minutes, as in walking on a treadmill. I've been doing a mile in 15 to 16 minutes. I need to stay on a little bit longer, so now I'm no longer paying attention to the distance, I'm paying attention to the time. Added to that is the fact that I don't think walking on the treadmill every other day is enough. I really think I need to start making myself walk on it every day that I possibly can. If I don't make the time to get on it every day and walk at least 20 minutes, I'm going to consider that a screw-up.
I'm also going to make a menu plan tomorrow to last through next Thursday. I'm not going to plan out every breakfast, lunch and snack to a "T", but I am going to plan out 7 different dinners, making 2 or 3 of them crockpot meals, for the days that I'm just too busy or too tired to fool with dinner. I'm going to keep my calories between 1350-1550 every day this next week. Nothing below 1350 and nothing above 1550. I am told that consistency with the calories WILL make a difference. I've been challenged to try it and see the impending loss on the scale next week. I'm giving it a shot. I also plan on chopping up some fresh veggies to grab for a snack, or to help pull dinner together.
Finally, I am announcing that I've eliminated Free Day. One of my friends very nicely pointed out the stupidity in this. Giving myself a free day to eat whatever I want sets me up to scratch and claw all week to get through the first 6 days so I can focus on eating like a moron on free day. That's the wrong way to approach my goals. It should be the exact opposite. By eliminating one day a week to eat whatever I want, I am putting myself in line for a serious mental change in my attitude towards eating right. Free Day is not for eating right...it's for eating like an idiot and not caring. Wrong thing to do. My friend likened it to working hard to reach a goal, finally reaching it, and then celebrating that with lots of bad food. How many times have I done this???? I can't count that high. I have to admit, when my friend suggested getting rid of Free Day, I nearly lost my breath. That very reaction made me realize I was approaching this all wrong. Time to right the wrongs. Free Day is gone.
One of my friends also told me to consult an expert if I really want to get serious and get things right. They asked me if Jillian Michaels has a book out and I'm pretty certain I've seen that hard body on the cover of a book somewhere. I had originally planned on getting a pedicure as my reward for reaching my first 15 lb. goal, whenever that is. I've changed my mind. My first reward is going to be her book....something to help educate me on how to get even better with my new lifestyle. I can't think of a more appropriate reward for my daily travels as I work towards my goals.
I want to say a big "HELLO" to my newest follower from http://fat-free-me.blogspot.com/. I don't know your name yet but I see you live in Scotland....how cool is that??? My first international follower...awesome! I checked out your blog today....congrats on the smaller jacket size! I bet that feels great. :) I enjoyed reading some of your posts so I'm adding you to my blogroll. Thanks for checking mine out. :)
And finally I must say to my oldest and dearest friend.....CONGRATULATIONS PAM!!! Girlfriend reached one of her BIG goals today.....she got under 300 lbs, never to return again!!! It's an amazing accomplishment.....her tenacity is paying off....and I'm soooo happy for her. She and her husband Randall are taking a weekend trip to their favorite destination...Savannah, GA. as a reward for their hard work. (Randall's losing weight too!) Of course they're taking along their adorable son Daniel, who I have yet to meet due to us living in different states. She started his own little blog and has a video on it of him singing...too precious. If you love cute kids, check out the blog: http://firsttimemommyandson.blogspot.com/.
So...I've got some things to change. I have to say my curiosity is piqued to see if these things will result in a loss on the scale next week. I want to get it right. I want the weight gone and I want to do it in the correct, efficient, healthy way. I thank God that I'm surrounded by such amazing friends and family. I am truly blessed. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1548
Carbs 56
Fat 35
Protein 155
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole, 1 pc. (asparagus, spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, red. fat chz, egg whites, homemade turkey sausage)
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Publix deli turkey sub, 6" on 5 grain bread w/ spicy mustard, lettuce, onions, pickles, banana peppers
Chicken stew (adapted from the Minorcan chicken & dumplings, but made w/ no dumplings...included chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper...poured over 1 pc. sourdough bread)
1 Homemade chicken soft taco (adapted from Los Reyes' restaurant version....made w/ chicken, Rotel tomatoes & chiles, and onions, on a low-carb, wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce) FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
2 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate squares
1 protein water
96 oz. water....NO TEA....NO COKE!!!
Quote For The Day:
"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." -Abraham Lincoln
I spent all day, on and off, emailing people to find out what in the world I did wrong this week. I talked to 3 people and all of them gave me some great advice. It's time for a new plan. Although my calories only exceeded my 1550 limit one day this week, they were all over the map. One day they were around 990 and another I think it was 1046. The over day was around 1900. There was absolutely no consistency whatsoever, and apparently that's a problem.
Also, although I was way more active this week than I normally am, the fact is, for exercise to assist you in actually LOSING, your heart rate HAS to be elevated for at least 20 consecutive minutes, as in walking on a treadmill. I've been doing a mile in 15 to 16 minutes. I need to stay on a little bit longer, so now I'm no longer paying attention to the distance, I'm paying attention to the time. Added to that is the fact that I don't think walking on the treadmill every other day is enough. I really think I need to start making myself walk on it every day that I possibly can. If I don't make the time to get on it every day and walk at least 20 minutes, I'm going to consider that a screw-up.
I'm also going to make a menu plan tomorrow to last through next Thursday. I'm not going to plan out every breakfast, lunch and snack to a "T", but I am going to plan out 7 different dinners, making 2 or 3 of them crockpot meals, for the days that I'm just too busy or too tired to fool with dinner. I'm going to keep my calories between 1350-1550 every day this next week. Nothing below 1350 and nothing above 1550. I am told that consistency with the calories WILL make a difference. I've been challenged to try it and see the impending loss on the scale next week. I'm giving it a shot. I also plan on chopping up some fresh veggies to grab for a snack, or to help pull dinner together.
Finally, I am announcing that I've eliminated Free Day. One of my friends very nicely pointed out the stupidity in this. Giving myself a free day to eat whatever I want sets me up to scratch and claw all week to get through the first 6 days so I can focus on eating like a moron on free day. That's the wrong way to approach my goals. It should be the exact opposite. By eliminating one day a week to eat whatever I want, I am putting myself in line for a serious mental change in my attitude towards eating right. Free Day is not for eating right...it's for eating like an idiot and not caring. Wrong thing to do. My friend likened it to working hard to reach a goal, finally reaching it, and then celebrating that with lots of bad food. How many times have I done this???? I can't count that high. I have to admit, when my friend suggested getting rid of Free Day, I nearly lost my breath. That very reaction made me realize I was approaching this all wrong. Time to right the wrongs. Free Day is gone.
One of my friends also told me to consult an expert if I really want to get serious and get things right. They asked me if Jillian Michaels has a book out and I'm pretty certain I've seen that hard body on the cover of a book somewhere. I had originally planned on getting a pedicure as my reward for reaching my first 15 lb. goal, whenever that is. I've changed my mind. My first reward is going to be her book....something to help educate me on how to get even better with my new lifestyle. I can't think of a more appropriate reward for my daily travels as I work towards my goals.
I want to say a big "HELLO" to my newest follower from http://fat-free-me.blogspot.com/. I don't know your name yet but I see you live in Scotland....how cool is that??? My first international follower...awesome! I checked out your blog today....congrats on the smaller jacket size! I bet that feels great. :) I enjoyed reading some of your posts so I'm adding you to my blogroll. Thanks for checking mine out. :)
And finally I must say to my oldest and dearest friend.....CONGRATULATIONS PAM!!! Girlfriend reached one of her BIG goals today.....she got under 300 lbs, never to return again!!! It's an amazing accomplishment.....her tenacity is paying off....and I'm soooo happy for her. She and her husband Randall are taking a weekend trip to their favorite destination...Savannah, GA. as a reward for their hard work. (Randall's losing weight too!) Of course they're taking along their adorable son Daniel, who I have yet to meet due to us living in different states. She started his own little blog and has a video on it of him singing...too precious. If you love cute kids, check out the blog: http://firsttimemommyandson.blogspot.com/.
So...I've got some things to change. I have to say my curiosity is piqued to see if these things will result in a loss on the scale next week. I want to get it right. I want the weight gone and I want to do it in the correct, efficient, healthy way. I thank God that I'm surrounded by such amazing friends and family. I am truly blessed. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1548
Carbs 56
Fat 35
Protein 155
Here's my food intake for the day:
Breakfast casserole, 1 pc. (asparagus, spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, red. fat chz, egg whites, homemade turkey sausage)
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Publix deli turkey sub, 6" on 5 grain bread w/ spicy mustard, lettuce, onions, pickles, banana peppers
Chicken stew (adapted from the Minorcan chicken & dumplings, but made w/ no dumplings...included chicken, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper...poured over 1 pc. sourdough bread)
1 Homemade chicken soft taco (adapted from Los Reyes' restaurant version....made w/ chicken, Rotel tomatoes & chiles, and onions, on a low-carb, wheat tortilla w/ shredded lettuce) FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!
2 pc. Russell Stover Sugar-free 60% cacoa dark chocolate squares
1 protein water
96 oz. water....NO TEA....NO COKE!!!
Quote For The Day:
"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." -Abraham Lincoln
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Fast Food Freak
No, I haven't eaten any fast food today, but I sure thought about it. Thought about it hard. I have some serious issues. I'm just now realizing today how MANY bad issues I have with food.
I headed out this morning to Target and picked up a slipcover for the used sofa I bought yesterday. Our current sofa was cheaply made when we bought it over 3 years ago, and the board on the bottom of it has broken and splintered. It was time for something else, but I'm incredibly cheap, so Mom took me to the Habitat for Humanity salvage store yesterday and I picked up an antique camel back sofa w/ claw feet for $45. Naturally, I'm not going to sit on someone else's ick, so I went to Target this morning and bought a new slipcover for it. Most of the ones that were sofa-sized were $90. I scrounged around until I finally found the cheapest one they had...$60. At least it's clean.
I also picked up a beige rug w/ a burgundy border because I now have a burgundy love seat and chair and a beige-covered sofa. Needed something to tie it all together. The rug I wanted was $150. No can do. I found a smaller one in the same design for $80. That's the one I got. All I really need it for is to pull the colors together and cover up the wires that will run from the TV to the surround sound speakers across the room.
I headed up to Mom's, unloaded my car, jumped in her truck, went and got the sofa, came back and got my sister Amy to help me unload it and carry it in the house, put the new rug down, put the slipcover on the sofa, and it's way too big. Have you ever noticed how those antique sofas are way smaller than the current furniture they make? It looks retarded, but again, at least it's clean.
I jumped back in Mom's truck, went back to the apt. and loaded it up (9 or 10 trips up and down the stairs), drove back to Mom's and unloaded it. I had everything done by about 2:30pm today and headed back home. After 2 days of packing and moving boxes, carrying sofas around, etc., my lower back was shot. My legs, knees and arms weren't feeling much better. Hurting pretty bad. I thought about the concept of cooking dinner tonight and I knew it just wasn't going to happen. There was no way. I was locked up stiffer than the Tin Man w/ no oil can.
This is where I had the epiphany that I am a fast food freak. We can include regular restaurants in that category too. I did not want to cook. I refused to cook. There's no one else at the apt. to cook for me (trust me, Shane doesn't count), so that only leaves a restaurant. It is SO easy to swing into a drive-thru. Do you know how many there are on the 20 minute drive from Mom's to my place? Yeah, that many. I fought and fought with myself, knowing it was the wrong thing to do (this was on the drive back to my place after leaving Mom's). I forced my car to stay on the interstate and not veer down one of those exit ramps into Fast Food Hell. I made it home, got upstairs, checked email and read weight loss blogs for an hour or so, and was then wishing I could lay down on my bed, hold my mouth open, and someone else pour food into it for me that they had cooked.
I was exhausted, in pain, irritable, and sincerely pissed off that I didn't have a personal chef slaving away in the kitchen making me a healthy meal for dinner. What do people trying to eat healthy do on days like this? What do they when their entire body is in pain, they are thoroughly physically exhausted, and cannot bring themselves to stand in the kitchen long enough to even chop up veggies for a simple salad (not that a simple salad would have satisfied my kind of hunger)?
I had managed to avoid the fast food crap, but now it was about 7pm and I was starting to consider dragging myself down to the car and crawling into a restaurant booth somewhere close by. The closest restaurant to me is Los Reyes. It's about a mile down the road. I started thinking about their chicken soft tacos. They cook their chicken in tomatoes and onions, much like the Minorcan food that Mom makes that I was raised on and love so much. Add a little lettuce, forego the cheese, and they're pretty dang tasty. That's got to be better than fast food, right? Maybe in the way of it not being fried, yes. Maybe in the way of not having as many fat grams in it. But there's always the dreaded "S" word lurking in every fast food/regular restaurant you eat in. Sodium. Too much sodium = too much water weight, and it's 2 days before weigh day. DAMMIT!!!
Today I seriously started thinking that maybe I can't do this. Maybe I don't have what it takes to get this weight off and keep it off. It's not just going to be tonight that I don't feel like cooking. What about all those nights I had worked from 6a-4p, rushed to my college class at 5p, got home at 8pm and didn't want to cook? Enter take-out menu. How many times have I done that? Those days aren't over. I will eventually get another job. And I will eventually get up enough money to go back to school and finish my degree. What then? Am I doomed forever? Maybe I just don't have it in me to move beyond the excuses and push through and do what I need to do to get to a normal weight and maintain it. Maybe it will always be too hard for me. Maybe I'm not truly willing to persevere. Maybe I will always be "pork chop" girl. Maybe there is no Skinny Tammy hiding inside of me. Maybe it will always be Fat Tammy....the one I've known and hated for so many long years. Maybe I didnt' really make up my mind 3 1/2 weeks ago like I thought I did......like I so proudly told Dad I did.
Thank God for other weight loss blogs. I finally read one tonight that was just what I needed. It could not have been a more perfect post or come at a more perfect time. The one that turned my attitude around for me was http://jackfit.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog a few days ago and I find him quite funny...he has a unique, inventive way of posting. Crude? Definitely. Offensive? Pretty dang close. But is it real? Oh yes. That's why I like it. "Jack" doesn't tip toe around his blog, trying not to step on anyone's toes. He doesn't take life too seriously. He doesn't sweat the small stuff. He's got a quirky sense of humor, littered with the "s" word, but it's him being him. I emailed him a couple of days ago and he replied. He let me know that he's on the same journey I am...he's just viewing it from a "slightly skewed angle", as he put it. I'm glad. It's refreshing.
Today Jack did something out of the ordinary for him. He wrote a serious blog. No fun, no jokes, no "s" word every other sentence. He was trying to reach those of us struggling and he reached me. Thank you Lord! I would encourage all of you reading this to click on his link and read his post from today. Even if you never visit his site again, I hope you read this one post.
What he said is spot on. He describes having a Day of Reckoning with yourself. That one point in time where you're done screwing around, you realize the dangers of your weight, and you know the only thing that's going to rectify the situation is hard work. Calorie counting, smaller portions, exercise. Making that decision....the one that you took a stab at in the past, but never got right, because you hadn't REALLY made up your mind to change your life. It made me realize that I had made that decision. I made it over 3 weeks ago, and I meant it. It's done. I'm changing my lifestyle, I'm changing my habits, and somehow, not sure how yet, I've got to learn how to deal with the hard days. Quitting is not the answer. Quitting makes you fatter. Quitting leads to very bad health and eventually it leads to death. Early death. Young death. I don't want to be that girl that people stand over her coffin and say, "She was just so young....if only she had lost the weight......what a waste of a life". I don't want my parents to have to go to my funeral because I couldn't get a grip on the food. I don't want my precious little nieces and nephews to have to ask my family, "What happened to Aunt Tammy? Did she go to Heaven? I miss her."
I want to live! I want to be here for those babies. They're going to need a "cool" aunt and I'm it! I want to be here for my parents as they age and need more help. I want to be around to tell my sisters stupid jokes and make them laugh because they think I'm such a dork (they're right :)). I want to marry Dwayne one day and continue taking our little get-away trips to the beach together. I want to be around to help Shane....he has cerebal palsy and has a hard time doing things one-handed. I've got stuff to do! I can't let myself get sick and die because I couldn't stop dialing the Chinese restaurant!
I don't have all the answers. I know there are still plenty of rough days ahead, and truthfully, I'm not sure how I'll handle them. It takes me full circle, right back to the motto I started this blog with.....say it with me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thanks to reading Jack's post tonight, Los Reyes was no longer an option because it didn't jive with the decision I made to lose this weight. I drug my tired, aching, uninventive self into the kitchen and made the same thing for dinner that I had for breakfast this morning. Except I doubled the portion....2 sandwiches. I had over 700 calories available for dinner, so I tackled that hunger with both barrels.
Sorry this was such a long post but there was a lot going on in this screwed up head of mine. I'm still so, so thankful for this blog. I never knew that writing, getting all your thoughts out, and especially sharing them with others could be so therapeutic.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1494
Carbs 147
Fat 40
Protein 143
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white, scrambled
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo (made a sandwich)
Small bowl of pork pilau (pork, rice, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
Homemade turkey sausage (8 oz.)
1 whole egg, 3 egg whites, scrambled
2 Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thins w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo on each sandwich
8 oz. Coke
64 oz. water
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Quote For The Day:
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Louis Pasteur
I headed out this morning to Target and picked up a slipcover for the used sofa I bought yesterday. Our current sofa was cheaply made when we bought it over 3 years ago, and the board on the bottom of it has broken and splintered. It was time for something else, but I'm incredibly cheap, so Mom took me to the Habitat for Humanity salvage store yesterday and I picked up an antique camel back sofa w/ claw feet for $45. Naturally, I'm not going to sit on someone else's ick, so I went to Target this morning and bought a new slipcover for it. Most of the ones that were sofa-sized were $90. I scrounged around until I finally found the cheapest one they had...$60. At least it's clean.
I also picked up a beige rug w/ a burgundy border because I now have a burgundy love seat and chair and a beige-covered sofa. Needed something to tie it all together. The rug I wanted was $150. No can do. I found a smaller one in the same design for $80. That's the one I got. All I really need it for is to pull the colors together and cover up the wires that will run from the TV to the surround sound speakers across the room.
I headed up to Mom's, unloaded my car, jumped in her truck, went and got the sofa, came back and got my sister Amy to help me unload it and carry it in the house, put the new rug down, put the slipcover on the sofa, and it's way too big. Have you ever noticed how those antique sofas are way smaller than the current furniture they make? It looks retarded, but again, at least it's clean.
I jumped back in Mom's truck, went back to the apt. and loaded it up (9 or 10 trips up and down the stairs), drove back to Mom's and unloaded it. I had everything done by about 2:30pm today and headed back home. After 2 days of packing and moving boxes, carrying sofas around, etc., my lower back was shot. My legs, knees and arms weren't feeling much better. Hurting pretty bad. I thought about the concept of cooking dinner tonight and I knew it just wasn't going to happen. There was no way. I was locked up stiffer than the Tin Man w/ no oil can.
This is where I had the epiphany that I am a fast food freak. We can include regular restaurants in that category too. I did not want to cook. I refused to cook. There's no one else at the apt. to cook for me (trust me, Shane doesn't count), so that only leaves a restaurant. It is SO easy to swing into a drive-thru. Do you know how many there are on the 20 minute drive from Mom's to my place? Yeah, that many. I fought and fought with myself, knowing it was the wrong thing to do (this was on the drive back to my place after leaving Mom's). I forced my car to stay on the interstate and not veer down one of those exit ramps into Fast Food Hell. I made it home, got upstairs, checked email and read weight loss blogs for an hour or so, and was then wishing I could lay down on my bed, hold my mouth open, and someone else pour food into it for me that they had cooked.
I was exhausted, in pain, irritable, and sincerely pissed off that I didn't have a personal chef slaving away in the kitchen making me a healthy meal for dinner. What do people trying to eat healthy do on days like this? What do they when their entire body is in pain, they are thoroughly physically exhausted, and cannot bring themselves to stand in the kitchen long enough to even chop up veggies for a simple salad (not that a simple salad would have satisfied my kind of hunger)?
I had managed to avoid the fast food crap, but now it was about 7pm and I was starting to consider dragging myself down to the car and crawling into a restaurant booth somewhere close by. The closest restaurant to me is Los Reyes. It's about a mile down the road. I started thinking about their chicken soft tacos. They cook their chicken in tomatoes and onions, much like the Minorcan food that Mom makes that I was raised on and love so much. Add a little lettuce, forego the cheese, and they're pretty dang tasty. That's got to be better than fast food, right? Maybe in the way of it not being fried, yes. Maybe in the way of not having as many fat grams in it. But there's always the dreaded "S" word lurking in every fast food/regular restaurant you eat in. Sodium. Too much sodium = too much water weight, and it's 2 days before weigh day. DAMMIT!!!
Today I seriously started thinking that maybe I can't do this. Maybe I don't have what it takes to get this weight off and keep it off. It's not just going to be tonight that I don't feel like cooking. What about all those nights I had worked from 6a-4p, rushed to my college class at 5p, got home at 8pm and didn't want to cook? Enter take-out menu. How many times have I done that? Those days aren't over. I will eventually get another job. And I will eventually get up enough money to go back to school and finish my degree. What then? Am I doomed forever? Maybe I just don't have it in me to move beyond the excuses and push through and do what I need to do to get to a normal weight and maintain it. Maybe it will always be too hard for me. Maybe I'm not truly willing to persevere. Maybe I will always be "pork chop" girl. Maybe there is no Skinny Tammy hiding inside of me. Maybe it will always be Fat Tammy....the one I've known and hated for so many long years. Maybe I didnt' really make up my mind 3 1/2 weeks ago like I thought I did......like I so proudly told Dad I did.
Thank God for other weight loss blogs. I finally read one tonight that was just what I needed. It could not have been a more perfect post or come at a more perfect time. The one that turned my attitude around for me was http://jackfit.blogspot.com/. I started reading his blog a few days ago and I find him quite funny...he has a unique, inventive way of posting. Crude? Definitely. Offensive? Pretty dang close. But is it real? Oh yes. That's why I like it. "Jack" doesn't tip toe around his blog, trying not to step on anyone's toes. He doesn't take life too seriously. He doesn't sweat the small stuff. He's got a quirky sense of humor, littered with the "s" word, but it's him being him. I emailed him a couple of days ago and he replied. He let me know that he's on the same journey I am...he's just viewing it from a "slightly skewed angle", as he put it. I'm glad. It's refreshing.
Today Jack did something out of the ordinary for him. He wrote a serious blog. No fun, no jokes, no "s" word every other sentence. He was trying to reach those of us struggling and he reached me. Thank you Lord! I would encourage all of you reading this to click on his link and read his post from today. Even if you never visit his site again, I hope you read this one post.
What he said is spot on. He describes having a Day of Reckoning with yourself. That one point in time where you're done screwing around, you realize the dangers of your weight, and you know the only thing that's going to rectify the situation is hard work. Calorie counting, smaller portions, exercise. Making that decision....the one that you took a stab at in the past, but never got right, because you hadn't REALLY made up your mind to change your life. It made me realize that I had made that decision. I made it over 3 weeks ago, and I meant it. It's done. I'm changing my lifestyle, I'm changing my habits, and somehow, not sure how yet, I've got to learn how to deal with the hard days. Quitting is not the answer. Quitting makes you fatter. Quitting leads to very bad health and eventually it leads to death. Early death. Young death. I don't want to be that girl that people stand over her coffin and say, "She was just so young....if only she had lost the weight......what a waste of a life". I don't want my parents to have to go to my funeral because I couldn't get a grip on the food. I don't want my precious little nieces and nephews to have to ask my family, "What happened to Aunt Tammy? Did she go to Heaven? I miss her."
I want to live! I want to be here for those babies. They're going to need a "cool" aunt and I'm it! I want to be here for my parents as they age and need more help. I want to be around to tell my sisters stupid jokes and make them laugh because they think I'm such a dork (they're right :)). I want to marry Dwayne one day and continue taking our little get-away trips to the beach together. I want to be around to help Shane....he has cerebal palsy and has a hard time doing things one-handed. I've got stuff to do! I can't let myself get sick and die because I couldn't stop dialing the Chinese restaurant!
I don't have all the answers. I know there are still plenty of rough days ahead, and truthfully, I'm not sure how I'll handle them. It takes me full circle, right back to the motto I started this blog with.....say it with me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thanks to reading Jack's post tonight, Los Reyes was no longer an option because it didn't jive with the decision I made to lose this weight. I drug my tired, aching, uninventive self into the kitchen and made the same thing for dinner that I had for breakfast this morning. Except I doubled the portion....2 sandwiches. I had over 700 calories available for dinner, so I tackled that hunger with both barrels.
Sorry this was such a long post but there was a lot going on in this screwed up head of mine. I'm still so, so thankful for this blog. I never knew that writing, getting all your thoughts out, and especially sharing them with others could be so therapeutic.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1494
Carbs 147
Fat 40
Protein 143
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white, scrambled
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo (made a sandwich)
Small bowl of pork pilau (pork, rice, tomatoes, onions, datil pepper)
Homemade turkey sausage (8 oz.)
1 whole egg, 3 egg whites, scrambled
2 Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thins w/ 1 tsp. of lite mayo on each sandwich
8 oz. Coke
64 oz. water
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Quote For The Day:
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity." -Louis Pasteur
Exhausted but Happy
I am completely exhausted, but it's been a productive day. Way better than the last two days. I went the furthest over my calorie limit today since I started this blog. I was a little upset about it earlier, but I got over it, because I've also been 100x more active today than I have since I started this blog. Pam says that when your activity level increases, your calorie limit should increase. From the hunger I was feeling today, that sounds about right to me. I was truly hungry, stomach growling, the whole bit. It wasn't emotional eating, so I can live with it.
Our search for a rental house is over. We're renting the house next door to my parents. They own both houses. We're getting a great deal and we're really looking forward to it. Thanks Mom and Dad!! I have been going from 7:30 this morning til, well, 1:30 the next morning....I guess this is officially Wednesday.
I went up and got Mom's truck, brought it back, loaded it (which included about 9 trips up the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment. Got back to Mom's, unloaded it, and ran some errands with her. I also got on her exercise bike for about 10 mins today just to try it out and get in some "official" exercise. I got back home about 4pm, cooked dinner and ate about 4:45pm, crashed and died at 5pm and slept til 7pm. Got up, showered, went dumpster diving and got some more boxes, went to Target and did a little shopping, bought some Oscar Mayer deli shaved turkey breast, came home and ate a sandwich about 9pm along with some chips and salsa. Got my 2nd wind, loaded up my car with stuff to take to Mom's tomorrow, brought all of the boxes up that I scavenged for tonight (all of this together was about 7 or 8 more trips up the stairs), packed boxes until about 15 mins ago, and now I'm completely exhausted. It's been a busy day.
Everything on my body aches right now. I am REALLY hoping I can move when I wake up in a few hours. I plan to get a lot more done tomorrow. I like the feeling of being active way more than being sedentary. It hurts like crap, but it feels good at the same time. It's good for the mind....keeps the depression away.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1931
Carbs 205
Fat 45
Protein 134
I ate at a fast food restaurant today.....gasp! I had been at mom's too long and was starving when I left. My little niece Carla kept saying she wanted Chinese for lunch.....then she wanted some Krystal's.....I knew I needed to get the heck out of there, but all of that food sounded good and I was so friggin' hungry. My friend Chris had mentioned to me before that if I get stuck out and I'm starving, that besides Subway, Taco Bell is a decent option if you get something like the grilled chicken soft tacos. The Taco Bell was closer than the Subway so that's where I went. When I pulled up to the drive-thru they had a new Fresco menu there and it listed the calories and the fat grams right on the sign. That was helpful. I ordered 1 grilled chicken soft taco with no cheese, and I ordered a steak burrito supreme off the Fresco menu. The burrito was 330 calories and 8g of fat. When I got home I checked the nutrition stats on the chicken soft taco...I think it was 170....so altogether lunch was 500 calories. I also checked the sodium, and surprisingly, it wasn't too bad either. Even after I ate those 2 items though.....I was still SO hungry....it felt like I had eaten a little appetizer.
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
3 egg whites
Sauteed onions & mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Taco Bell Fresco Steak Burrito Supreme
Taco Bell Grilled Chicken Soft Taco
Stir fry shrimp & baby scallops w/ broccoli, onions & mushrooms
Turkey sandwich on sourdough w/ tomato, onion, lite mayo & lite Italian dressing
Baked Scoops and fresh salsa
1 Coke
1 glass of tea, mixed 2/3 unsweet, 1/3 sweet
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
8 glasses of water
1/2 of a 3 Musketeers bar (130 calories)
Pam emailed me with a quote for my blog, I really like it. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." -Colin Powell
Our search for a rental house is over. We're renting the house next door to my parents. They own both houses. We're getting a great deal and we're really looking forward to it. Thanks Mom and Dad!! I have been going from 7:30 this morning til, well, 1:30 the next morning....I guess this is officially Wednesday.
I went up and got Mom's truck, brought it back, loaded it (which included about 9 trips up the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment. Got back to Mom's, unloaded it, and ran some errands with her. I also got on her exercise bike for about 10 mins today just to try it out and get in some "official" exercise. I got back home about 4pm, cooked dinner and ate about 4:45pm, crashed and died at 5pm and slept til 7pm. Got up, showered, went dumpster diving and got some more boxes, went to Target and did a little shopping, bought some Oscar Mayer deli shaved turkey breast, came home and ate a sandwich about 9pm along with some chips and salsa. Got my 2nd wind, loaded up my car with stuff to take to Mom's tomorrow, brought all of the boxes up that I scavenged for tonight (all of this together was about 7 or 8 more trips up the stairs), packed boxes until about 15 mins ago, and now I'm completely exhausted. It's been a busy day.
Everything on my body aches right now. I am REALLY hoping I can move when I wake up in a few hours. I plan to get a lot more done tomorrow. I like the feeling of being active way more than being sedentary. It hurts like crap, but it feels good at the same time. It's good for the mind....keeps the depression away.
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 1931
Carbs 205
Fat 45
Protein 134
I ate at a fast food restaurant today.....gasp! I had been at mom's too long and was starving when I left. My little niece Carla kept saying she wanted Chinese for lunch.....then she wanted some Krystal's.....I knew I needed to get the heck out of there, but all of that food sounded good and I was so friggin' hungry. My friend Chris had mentioned to me before that if I get stuck out and I'm starving, that besides Subway, Taco Bell is a decent option if you get something like the grilled chicken soft tacos. The Taco Bell was closer than the Subway so that's where I went. When I pulled up to the drive-thru they had a new Fresco menu there and it listed the calories and the fat grams right on the sign. That was helpful. I ordered 1 grilled chicken soft taco with no cheese, and I ordered a steak burrito supreme off the Fresco menu. The burrito was 330 calories and 8g of fat. When I got home I checked the nutrition stats on the chicken soft taco...I think it was 170....so altogether lunch was 500 calories. I also checked the sodium, and surprisingly, it wasn't too bad either. Even after I ate those 2 items though.....I was still SO hungry....it felt like I had eaten a little appetizer.
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
3 egg whites
Sauteed onions & mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Taco Bell Fresco Steak Burrito Supreme
Taco Bell Grilled Chicken Soft Taco
Stir fry shrimp & baby scallops w/ broccoli, onions & mushrooms
Turkey sandwich on sourdough w/ tomato, onion, lite mayo & lite Italian dressing
Baked Scoops and fresh salsa
1 Coke
1 glass of tea, mixed 2/3 unsweet, 1/3 sweet
2 c. decaf swiss mocha almond coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
8 glasses of water
1/2 of a 3 Musketeers bar (130 calories)
Pam emailed me with a quote for my blog, I really like it. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." -Colin Powell
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday's Misery
Yesterday I felt like crap all day because I ate too many carbs over the weekend...poison for a diabetic. Today I felt like crap all day because Dwayne and I aren't getting along too well and I spent most of the day in bed all weepy-eyed. Tomorrow MUST be better!!
Dwayne and I aren't fighting...it's nothing like that. There's just a little bit of distance right now...we've been together 5 years next month. We see each other nearly every single weekend, along with 2 or 3 days during the week on most weeks, and sometimes too much time together can be a bad thing. Sometimes people need space. I have no idea how married people do it! lol
Anyhoo, I finally texted him today and told him to take this week and this weekend to himself and enjoy some time with his buddies. I told him I'd talk to him next week after he had a little time to himself. I know that's what's best right now....we've had these phases before...but it doesn't make me miss him any less. :(
Another problem is the unemployment. This has been going on since Feb. 20th and I am SICK TO DEATH of it. I need a job badly. I don't know how those women do it that shop and eat bon bons all day. I loathe feeling this unproductive. It completely sucks. If I was rich and didn't have bills to worry about, I might have a different attitude towards the life of a sloth. But for me and my financial situation, no work = depression.
One more thing that affects my mood is gloomy weather. It's been overcast and drizzling rain for the last 2 days. Blech. Hate it. My mom is one of those people that loves the rain, talks about how well she can sleep/nap when it's raining...just enjoys it. I'm singing a different tune. My song is more like, "Rain, rain, go away, come again....in like 6 months".
When I'm feeling like this my first instinct is to drown my sorrows and soothe my depression with food. I was telling my friend Pam earlier that it's these types of days that lead me straight to the Chinese take-out menu. As I said from the very beginning, I'm a foodaholic. Totally addicted to food....bad food, and way too much of it. If I were an alcoholic, I'd probably be swimming around in a bottle of vodka right now. With my addiction, I was tempted to swim around in a vat of lo mein.
But......I have good news to report. Fat Tammy lost today....Skinny Tammy won out! Sure, I thought about blowing the budget, blowing the diet, blowing my 13.6 lb loss so far and ordering enough lo mein and egg rolls to feed a small army. But I did what I've learned from Lyn at EscapefromObesity to do. I sat and thought. The pros and cons....especially the cons....the only pro I could think of was that I would "temporarily" feel better....only to end up hating myself before I went to bed.
I also emailed my friend Pam when my dialing finger started twitching. It's always good to have that one friend that you can go to at a moment's notice and announce your evil plan to sabotage your diet. Her job is to either offer me healthy alternatives, put her foot up my a$$ w/ some tough love and good advice, etc....but she always comes through. Always. I love her for that.
She told me how to make my own lo mein, where to buy the right noodles, etc. so I will be picking those up this week to have on hand. She has a recipe for her version of lo mein on her food blog http://lobsterandfishsticks.com/. I can't tell you how many times her recipes have saved me, given me new things to try so my diet doesn't become routine and boring. She is just AWESOME and I will never stop singing her praises! Check out her alternative to the comfort food beef stroganoff....OMG! Soooo good!!
But I pulled through. No Chinese. No failure today. And you know my motto....one day at a time....and I made it through this one. That's what matters. I'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here. I'm still trying to recover from this past weekend's indiscretions and the resulting gain on the scale, so I kept the calories pretty far under my goal. I'm so scared I won't break even this week and be where I was at last Friday's weigh in. If I show a gain I'm just going to be heartbroken and disgusted with myself. Let's all pray for the best!!
This wasn't treadmill day, so I did 100 ab crunches, 10 lower ab leg lifts, and 25 arm exercises. Nothing amazing, but I'm keeping up with my promise to myself to try and do something each day inbetween treadmill days.
I want to say a quick welcome to my newest follower Sean. Thanks for signing up. I've been reading your blog today and will continue to. Your progress has been absolutely mind-blowing and the epitome of inspiration. I encourage anyone who reads my blog to check out Sean's: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. I've got 3 or 4 new blogs that I'm following that I need to add to my blogroll. I'm hoping to either get that done tonight or tomorrow. Sean's will be one of them. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 990
Carbs 62
Fat 41
Protein 101
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white (accidentally dropped the yolk in the pan)
sauteed onions and mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss almond mocha coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Spicy & creamy Zucchini Soup (from Pam's food blog...totally awesome!) 2 cups
Aidells sun-dried tomato chicken/turkey sausage (FANTASTIC!!!) 2 of them
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin (wrapped one half around ea. sausage w/ lite mayo, ketchup and diced onions)
2 oz. baked chicken
2 c. decaf swiss almond mocha coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 protein water
32 oz. water
NO TEA....NO COKE.....and NO CHINESE!! GO (skinny) TAMMY!!
Quote For The Day:
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." -Epictetus
Dwayne and I aren't fighting...it's nothing like that. There's just a little bit of distance right now...we've been together 5 years next month. We see each other nearly every single weekend, along with 2 or 3 days during the week on most weeks, and sometimes too much time together can be a bad thing. Sometimes people need space. I have no idea how married people do it! lol
Anyhoo, I finally texted him today and told him to take this week and this weekend to himself and enjoy some time with his buddies. I told him I'd talk to him next week after he had a little time to himself. I know that's what's best right now....we've had these phases before...but it doesn't make me miss him any less. :(
Another problem is the unemployment. This has been going on since Feb. 20th and I am SICK TO DEATH of it. I need a job badly. I don't know how those women do it that shop and eat bon bons all day. I loathe feeling this unproductive. It completely sucks. If I was rich and didn't have bills to worry about, I might have a different attitude towards the life of a sloth. But for me and my financial situation, no work = depression.
One more thing that affects my mood is gloomy weather. It's been overcast and drizzling rain for the last 2 days. Blech. Hate it. My mom is one of those people that loves the rain, talks about how well she can sleep/nap when it's raining...just enjoys it. I'm singing a different tune. My song is more like, "Rain, rain, go away, come again....in like 6 months".
When I'm feeling like this my first instinct is to drown my sorrows and soothe my depression with food. I was telling my friend Pam earlier that it's these types of days that lead me straight to the Chinese take-out menu. As I said from the very beginning, I'm a foodaholic. Totally addicted to food....bad food, and way too much of it. If I were an alcoholic, I'd probably be swimming around in a bottle of vodka right now. With my addiction, I was tempted to swim around in a vat of lo mein.
But......I have good news to report. Fat Tammy lost today....Skinny Tammy won out! Sure, I thought about blowing the budget, blowing the diet, blowing my 13.6 lb loss so far and ordering enough lo mein and egg rolls to feed a small army. But I did what I've learned from Lyn at EscapefromObesity to do. I sat and thought. The pros and cons....especially the cons....the only pro I could think of was that I would "temporarily" feel better....only to end up hating myself before I went to bed.
I also emailed my friend Pam when my dialing finger started twitching. It's always good to have that one friend that you can go to at a moment's notice and announce your evil plan to sabotage your diet. Her job is to either offer me healthy alternatives, put her foot up my a$$ w/ some tough love and good advice, etc....but she always comes through. Always. I love her for that.
She told me how to make my own lo mein, where to buy the right noodles, etc. so I will be picking those up this week to have on hand. She has a recipe for her version of lo mein on her food blog http://lobsterandfishsticks.com/. I can't tell you how many times her recipes have saved me, given me new things to try so my diet doesn't become routine and boring. She is just AWESOME and I will never stop singing her praises! Check out her alternative to the comfort food beef stroganoff....OMG! Soooo good!!
But I pulled through. No Chinese. No failure today. And you know my motto....one day at a time....and I made it through this one. That's what matters. I'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here. I'm still trying to recover from this past weekend's indiscretions and the resulting gain on the scale, so I kept the calories pretty far under my goal. I'm so scared I won't break even this week and be where I was at last Friday's weigh in. If I show a gain I'm just going to be heartbroken and disgusted with myself. Let's all pray for the best!!
This wasn't treadmill day, so I did 100 ab crunches, 10 lower ab leg lifts, and 25 arm exercises. Nothing amazing, but I'm keeping up with my promise to myself to try and do something each day inbetween treadmill days.
I want to say a quick welcome to my newest follower Sean. Thanks for signing up. I've been reading your blog today and will continue to. Your progress has been absolutely mind-blowing and the epitome of inspiration. I encourage anyone who reads my blog to check out Sean's: http://www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/. I've got 3 or 4 new blogs that I'm following that I need to add to my blogroll. I'm hoping to either get that done tonight or tomorrow. Sean's will be one of them. :)
Goal Stats:
Calories 1550
Carbs 250
Fat 60
Protein 136
Today's Stats:
Calories 990
Carbs 62
Fat 41
Protein 101
Here's my food intake for the day:
Homemade turkey sausage (4 oz.)
1 whole egg, 1 egg white (accidentally dropped the yolk in the pan)
sauteed onions and mushrooms
2 c. decaf swiss almond mocha coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
Spicy & creamy Zucchini Soup (from Pam's food blog...totally awesome!) 2 cups
Aidells sun-dried tomato chicken/turkey sausage (FANTASTIC!!!) 2 of them
Arnold's whole wheat sandwich thin (wrapped one half around ea. sausage w/ lite mayo, ketchup and diced onions)
2 oz. baked chicken
2 c. decaf swiss almond mocha coffee w/ sugar-free creamer
1 protein water
32 oz. water
NO TEA....NO COKE.....and NO CHINESE!! GO (skinny) TAMMY!!
Quote For The Day:
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." -Epictetus
Friday, July 3, 2009
Moving Right Along
Sorry this post is so late. I woke up at 5:30am this morning, decided I needed more sleep, and stayed in bed til 8:30am. I got a shower and finally weighed in. I'm at 258.4, so I lost 2.4 lbs. this week. Of course I'm a little disappointed that it's not the 3.8 lbs. I was hoping for, but it's still a loss. It looks like the large losses of 5-6 lbs a week are over. So I've lost a total of 13.6 lbs. so far and that's something to be proud of. :)
Dwayne is off work today due to the holiday. He's supposed to be here about 11am and we're driving about an hour and a half north to the Cohutta Mountains. We're taking the puppy and having a picnic and walking on the nature trails. I'm really looking forward to it. :) I'll be back later tonight to post my nutrition stats and food intake for the day.
Dwayne is off work today due to the holiday. He's supposed to be here about 11am and we're driving about an hour and a half north to the Cohutta Mountains. We're taking the puppy and having a picnic and walking on the nature trails. I'm really looking forward to it. :) I'll be back later tonight to post my nutrition stats and food intake for the day.
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