Oh my goodness, it's been a rough day...and an even rougher weekend in regards to eating. I said I wasn't going to get on the scale this week til Friday. I guess I lied. I HAD to know what kind of damage I've done to myself after 3 days of mindless eating so I got on the scale after I got out of the shower tonight. I've gained 3 lbs. since Friday's weigh-in. How deflating.
I've got some family issues going on that I'm not going to splatter all over my blog. I really don't need to...I know that we ALL have crap that we have to deal with that many times is out of our control. It's just there. It is what it is and we have to find a way to deal with it. So when I tell you it's bad...and will probably get way worse before it gets better...if it ever gets better...then you know it's the truth.
I noticed tonight that I've been stress eating today. I didn't go all out...but I did end up over my calorie limit by a couple of hundred calories....AGAIN. The only good thing I have to report is that I did 2.5 miles on the treadmill this morning, and then did another mile tonight, trying to mitigate the damage. I've also drank all of my water for the last 2 days. Hooray for small victories. I would say that I'm glad the weekend is over...but truthfully, the stress of what I have to do tomorrow to take care of some family business is going to be worse than the last 3 days put together. Pray that I find my focus and can pull through...that I can set my eating aside from the stress that's in my face and not let it be affected in a negative way.
About the 30 year habit....when I first started this blog, I tried to think as far back as I could to find out how long I've been fat. I figured out that it was around 15 years old that I really realized I had a weight problem. I was so wrong. For some reason, in this past week, a couple of childhood memories popped into my head and I realized it was long before 15 years of age. Talk about depressing.
I had a memory of going to Weight Watchers with my mom back when my grandmother on my Dad's side of the family was one of their meeting leaders. I don't remember my exact age, but I want to say that it was before I was 10 years old because I think we were living at the "old house" when we went. Can I tell you how embarassing it was to sit in those meetings in front of my grandmother, who I wasn't very close to in my younger years (that has changed as I've aged), having her talk to "me" (all of us) about why I'm fat. Oh good Lord. I hated that. I think I buried those memories for a reason. Our mind buries certain things to protect us. Not sure why it decided to pop back up this week but I sure wish it would have stayed tucked away. Also, it was not lost on me, even at that age, that my 2 sisters weren't there with us. There was a reason I was the only one Mom drug along with her. I was the fat one. Another lovely reminder of childhood.
Also, I have memories of going to a restaurant on the weekends called Valley's. I want to say my earliest memory was around 7 years old probably. My Dad worked out of town a lot so we mostly only saw him on the weekends when I was young. I'm sure all he wanted was a home-cooked meal after he'd eaten out of town all week...but he took us out a lot when he came home...I'm guessing because we begged him and he knew we'd eaten at home all week long and going to a nice restaurant sure was fun!! I was such a little pig apparently. I specifically remember Dad always asking us, after we finished our plate, if we had enough to eat. "Did you get enough to eat girls? Are you still hungry? Want anything else?"
Of course I'd had enough...but I specifically remember (and I'm so ashamed of this) thinking that Oh boy! I could have a whole other plate of food if I want!!! But then, even at 7 years old, I knew it would be impolite to make Dad pay for more food, and make the whole family sit there and wait while I ate another whole plate. My thought processes had NOTHING to do with the fact that I didn't need anymore food. I refuse to believe that I was still physically hungry. So I must have had food issues as young as 7 years old. That just blows my mind. I'm embarassed by that...I'm ashamed of it...and it's just one more memory that I wish would have stayed tucked away.
I've been a food addict for 30 years. Incredible. Incredibly depressing is more like it. Do you know how easy it would be for me to tell myself....30 years? Seriously, Tammy? There's no way you can break a 30 year habit. That's more than you can handle. You don't have it in you. It would take more work that you're capable of doing. Why waste your time? Just accept who you are and live with it. Oh yes, it would be easy to just lay down and quit. Yes indeedy.
Or......Or I could realize that I have a choice. I can choose the defeatist attitude, throw my hands up in the air, feel sorry for myself, let the embarassment and shame take over and hold me down for the rest of my life. I could "just accept it" and "live with it". I certainly could.
Or I could make the other choice. I could choose life. Real life. A healthy life. I could choose to hold my head up high in the face of those memories...stare them down...and show them that it IS possible to break 30 year habits. Hard, admittedly....but possible. And I do have it in me to do it. I can take all that shame and embarassment and disgust for myself and turn it into the tools I need to push me towards my goals. I can turn it into anger for letting myself go this long. I can turn it into determination to get on that treadmill every day, without fail, and walk myself right out of this fat body. I can turn it into perseverance with counting the calories and staying under my limits every single day, no matter WHAT is thrown my way. I can turn it into pride that I care enough about myself to commit to reaching my goals.
That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm taking my life back from the dreaded fat cells. I'm going to find out for the FIRST TIME what it's like to be a normal weight, because I obviously don't have a memory of ever being one. I don't have any skinny jeans stuck in the back of my closet to fit into because I've NEVER OWNED ANY. That's okay. That's perfectly okay. This whole "normal weight" thing is going to be completely new for me, and that in itself is exciting. I don't even know what I'm missing...I guess that's one way of looking at it. But I hear it's fantastic...it's liberating...it's something worth working towards and busting my a$$ for and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Freedom awaits....and I'm answering the call. I choose to lose. I choose to work hard. I choose to go at this with a positive attitude and leave the negative thoughts behind me. I choose to press on...to trudge through the muck and the mire that's been holding me back until I get to that mountain top. I will get there. I will. And I can't wait to see the view.....in my new skinny jeans. :)
Quote For The Day:
"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." -Chinese proverb
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Bad Eating Weekend....BAD
Gotta' make this a short post...its 12:30am, and I need to head to bed soon so I can get up early and have Baby Scarlette at the groomer's for her appointment. By the way, my precious little baby puppy dog turned 1 year old today...still a baby...but she'll always be Momma's baby. :)
What can I say about eating this weekend? I suck. That pretty much sums it up. I really hate that I can't be perfect and do everything right down to the letter. I really hate being a stupid human full of flaws, lol.
Friday I ate heatlhy stuff all day...counted all the calories....and I ate too many of them. For dinner, Dwayne and I went out to a restaurant and I decided I needed a hamburger and fries since I haven't had either since I started my travels 8 weeks ago. Trying to be responsible, I cut the hamburger in half, and separated the fries into 2 even piles. I ate half the burger and threw the other half away. I ate half the fries, and threw the other half away. Still way too many calories for the entire day, because I'd eaten too many before I even got to dinner. Just kept snacking. Damn that snacking.
Saturday was a total bust. No binge...no mega buffets or anything like that. Just no structure to my day whatsoever. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a total control freak, and I had no control over how today went. Makes me crazy and throws me off with my food decisions and calorie counting. In short, it pisses me off.
Dwayne has been car shopping for something used for 3 months now. It's wearing on me. I really thought he was ready to buy something this weekend, and we headed out early. We spent most of the day visiting car lots and test driving cars, and even ended up at a desk talking numbers at the last dealership we visited. Then he decided he just wasn't ready and we left. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!
Ate too much again today. I only have 2 small, tiny victories to report for today, but I lost the battle overall. I got on the treadmill right after breakfast this morning and walked 1.5 miles. Not the 2 miles I had worked up to, but it was something. The 2nd tiny thing was...I made some lean boneless pork ribs for dinner and finally made my Grandma's recipe for baked mac'n'chz that I haven't had in the last 8 weeks (Dwayne's favorite dish of mine). My roommate Shane and his girlfriend ended up going to her house, so they didn't eat dinner with us and I had nearly a whole casserole dish of that mac'n'chz and some pork ribs left over.
In order to get it out of my house (I didn't even want the leftovers in my house for Shane to eat the next day, because my eating had already been so poor this weekend), I told Dwayne to go ahead and head out earlier than usual for a Saturday night, and take all the leftovers to his buddy Kevin's house. I know that he usually hangs out at Kevin's on Sundays, so they'd have some food for tomorrow, and I wouldn't be tempted to eat anymore of it. YAY!
The baby will be at the groomer's for 2 hours tomorrow, so as soon as I drop her off, I'm heading back home and stopping by the fitness center at the front of the apt complex FIRST....I'm going to walk until I can't walk anymore....I'm going to walk until I FALL OFF that treadmill, trying to reverse some of the damage I did this weekend. I'm working on my 3rd 32 oz. glass of water for the day now, and will continue drowning myself until Friday's weigh-in.
I hope everyone is having a FAR better eating weekend than I am. :(
Quote For The Day:
"Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall." - Oliver Goldsmith
What can I say about eating this weekend? I suck. That pretty much sums it up. I really hate that I can't be perfect and do everything right down to the letter. I really hate being a stupid human full of flaws, lol.
Friday I ate heatlhy stuff all day...counted all the calories....and I ate too many of them. For dinner, Dwayne and I went out to a restaurant and I decided I needed a hamburger and fries since I haven't had either since I started my travels 8 weeks ago. Trying to be responsible, I cut the hamburger in half, and separated the fries into 2 even piles. I ate half the burger and threw the other half away. I ate half the fries, and threw the other half away. Still way too many calories for the entire day, because I'd eaten too many before I even got to dinner. Just kept snacking. Damn that snacking.
Saturday was a total bust. No binge...no mega buffets or anything like that. Just no structure to my day whatsoever. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a total control freak, and I had no control over how today went. Makes me crazy and throws me off with my food decisions and calorie counting. In short, it pisses me off.
Dwayne has been car shopping for something used for 3 months now. It's wearing on me. I really thought he was ready to buy something this weekend, and we headed out early. We spent most of the day visiting car lots and test driving cars, and even ended up at a desk talking numbers at the last dealership we visited. Then he decided he just wasn't ready and we left. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!
Ate too much again today. I only have 2 small, tiny victories to report for today, but I lost the battle overall. I got on the treadmill right after breakfast this morning and walked 1.5 miles. Not the 2 miles I had worked up to, but it was something. The 2nd tiny thing was...I made some lean boneless pork ribs for dinner and finally made my Grandma's recipe for baked mac'n'chz that I haven't had in the last 8 weeks (Dwayne's favorite dish of mine). My roommate Shane and his girlfriend ended up going to her house, so they didn't eat dinner with us and I had nearly a whole casserole dish of that mac'n'chz and some pork ribs left over.
In order to get it out of my house (I didn't even want the leftovers in my house for Shane to eat the next day, because my eating had already been so poor this weekend), I told Dwayne to go ahead and head out earlier than usual for a Saturday night, and take all the leftovers to his buddy Kevin's house. I know that he usually hangs out at Kevin's on Sundays, so they'd have some food for tomorrow, and I wouldn't be tempted to eat anymore of it. YAY!
The baby will be at the groomer's for 2 hours tomorrow, so as soon as I drop her off, I'm heading back home and stopping by the fitness center at the front of the apt complex FIRST....I'm going to walk until I can't walk anymore....I'm going to walk until I FALL OFF that treadmill, trying to reverse some of the damage I did this weekend. I'm working on my 3rd 32 oz. glass of water for the day now, and will continue drowning myself until Friday's weigh-in.
I hope everyone is having a FAR better eating weekend than I am. :(
Quote For The Day:
"Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall." - Oliver Goldsmith
Friday, August 7, 2009
Month #2 Goal Met!!!
This morning the scale said 249.4 for a loss of 2.4 lbs. this week. That brings me to a grand total of 22.6 lbs. lost in 2 months/8 weeks!!! GOAL MET!!! I'm going to do something hard this week. I'm going to stay off of the scale until next Friday's weigh-in. I've been on it every day this week, watching it go up and down, up and down, and it's had me tied up in knots. I'm just going to eat within my calories, get in some daily exercise, and whatever happens next Friday, happens. It's going to be tough....I'm addicted to that dang scale...but our relationship is a toxic one, lol.
I'm headed off to the unemployment office shortly to sit in line for 3 hours and then find out how to file for an extension. I've been laid off since February and my benefits run out at the end of this month....and still not one single call for a job interview. Say a prayer for me that things go smoothly, because in about 3 short weeks, I'm going to be penniless if I can't get an extension worked out. Say a bigger prayer that SOMEBODY HIRES ME!!!!
I just ran into a girl named Tina at Fat Girl Dives In and I put her on my blogroll. I'm so excited because we're neighbors! She lives in Atlanta too! Tina, if you're reading and you know of any Accounting positions....Pleeeeeaaaassseee let me know! :)
I'm headed off to the unemployment office shortly to sit in line for 3 hours and then find out how to file for an extension. I've been laid off since February and my benefits run out at the end of this month....and still not one single call for a job interview. Say a prayer for me that things go smoothly, because in about 3 short weeks, I'm going to be penniless if I can't get an extension worked out. Say a bigger prayer that SOMEBODY HIRES ME!!!!
I just ran into a girl named Tina at Fat Girl Dives In and I put her on my blogroll. I'm so excited because we're neighbors! She lives in Atlanta too! Tina, if you're reading and you know of any Accounting positions....Pleeeeeaaaassseee let me know! :)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Soooooo Exhausted
The treadmill is kicking my butt! So much so, I didn't even get on it today. I just couldn't. I am soooo incredibly sore all over. And my blistered feet are a poor sight. My shoes are just entirely too tight. I've decided when I reach my next 15 lb. goal, which will be at the 30 lb. marker, that I'm killing the budget and splurging on a new pair of New Balance walking shoes. My feet are just too important and I'm tired of all the continuous pain.
I've been eating 1400 calories for the last 2 days, and intended to today, but I'm ending at 1319. I know this is going to sound shocking, but I'm just too tired to eat anymore. LOL....take note of this....I'm sure it will be one of VERY FEW times you hear Fat Tammy say she's too tired to eat. Truthfully, I can barely keep my eyes open so I think I'm going to hit the bed at 8pm tonight. Amazing. Due to my persistent insomnia, I usually don't get there til 1a-2a. But that's the way it goes with me......several nights in a row of only 4-5 hours of sleep, and then one day I crash before it's even dark outside. Precious sleep....I'm totally looking forward to it.
I am praying for a 2 lb. loss tomorrow morning so I can reach my 10 lb. goal for this month. Check back tomorrow morning to see if I'm cussing like a sailor or doing the buck naked Happy Dance. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect." -Ronald Reagan
I've been eating 1400 calories for the last 2 days, and intended to today, but I'm ending at 1319. I know this is going to sound shocking, but I'm just too tired to eat anymore. LOL....take note of this....I'm sure it will be one of VERY FEW times you hear Fat Tammy say she's too tired to eat. Truthfully, I can barely keep my eyes open so I think I'm going to hit the bed at 8pm tonight. Amazing. Due to my persistent insomnia, I usually don't get there til 1a-2a. But that's the way it goes with me......several nights in a row of only 4-5 hours of sleep, and then one day I crash before it's even dark outside. Precious sleep....I'm totally looking forward to it.
I am praying for a 2 lb. loss tomorrow morning so I can reach my 10 lb. goal for this month. Check back tomorrow morning to see if I'm cussing like a sailor or doing the buck naked Happy Dance. :)
Quote For The Day:
"There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect." -Ronald Reagan
Have You Heard About Sean???
I'm sorry about the delay in the post, but I was waiting til Sean posted his good news so I could dedicate this post to him and the amazing milestone that he reached yesterday.....
SEAN HAS LOST 201 LBS!!!!
For any of you who haven't heard about Sean yet...especially the ones who have just recently started your blogs, he is definitely someone you want to check out. His blog is listed on my blogroll, "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser".
He emailed me yesterday afternoon with the fantastic news. He started his journey 325 days ago, and in less than a year, he has dropped from 505 lbs. to 304 lbs. What an amazing, hard-won accomplishment!! He deserves all the praise in the world for his tenacity, perseverance and consistency in his daily Battle Against Obesity.
Sean is just a super terrific guy....full of humility and kindess and a willing desire to help others in their weight loss struggles. He's here to tell us that it IS possible...just look at HIM. His blog is a daily account of his life as he takes off the weight. He's been down in the trenches...he's done the hard work...and he's still doing it every day. Sean's ultimate goal is to get down around 230 or whatever feels right for him. He is now LESS than 100 lbs away from his goal. It's all downhill from here.
Along with my best friend Pam, who has lost about 70 lbs. herself and inspired me to start my own weight loss blog, Sean is my next biggest mentor. He is a shining example of how it's done. The mental change that he has experienced towards food is an incredible inspiration to me. He has developed total control over food. There has been no specific "diet", no magic pill...his strategy is really quite simple. "Eat less, move more". He gave himself a daily limit of 1500 calories and he walks/jogs every day for his exercise.
It wasn't easy in the beginning. Walking was nearly impossible for him due to his size. But he did it. He stuck with it and he pushed through. The endurance that he's built over these last 300+ days is just phenomenal. Recently he and has family went to a Chinese buffet to celebrate one of their daughter's birthdays. He was able to eat a 700 calorie dinner and stay within his limits for the day. I am still not able to do that. I have to avoid the buffets altogether still. I don't have that kind of restraint yet and I know it. But one day I will. I'm going to keep following Sean's example and one day I'll be enjoying the successes that he has.
Please take a moment to hop over to his blog and give him a big Congrats. He sure deserves it! And if you're a new blogger and haven't seen his blog yet...I encourage you to read through and check out his travels. He can be the same inspiration to you that he is to me.
A word to Sean.....what can I say? You rock. You're the man. My heartfelt congratulations to you for such an amazing triumph in this battle. You are so close to having total victory over Obesity and I'm blessed to have found you and had the chance to follow your story. Thank you Sean for your example, for your humility, for truly caring about others and their struggles. Thank you for emailing me with the news yesterday as soon as you found out. I'm glad we're friends and that I have the opportunity to cheer you on all the way to the finish line!
I pulled today's quote from Amy H.'s blog at "No To The Deuce" a couple of weeks ago. I really like this one. :)
Quote For The Day:
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." -Henry David Thoreau
SEAN HAS LOST 201 LBS!!!!
For any of you who haven't heard about Sean yet...especially the ones who have just recently started your blogs, he is definitely someone you want to check out. His blog is listed on my blogroll, "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser".
He emailed me yesterday afternoon with the fantastic news. He started his journey 325 days ago, and in less than a year, he has dropped from 505 lbs. to 304 lbs. What an amazing, hard-won accomplishment!! He deserves all the praise in the world for his tenacity, perseverance and consistency in his daily Battle Against Obesity.
Sean is just a super terrific guy....full of humility and kindess and a willing desire to help others in their weight loss struggles. He's here to tell us that it IS possible...just look at HIM. His blog is a daily account of his life as he takes off the weight. He's been down in the trenches...he's done the hard work...and he's still doing it every day. Sean's ultimate goal is to get down around 230 or whatever feels right for him. He is now LESS than 100 lbs away from his goal. It's all downhill from here.
Along with my best friend Pam, who has lost about 70 lbs. herself and inspired me to start my own weight loss blog, Sean is my next biggest mentor. He is a shining example of how it's done. The mental change that he has experienced towards food is an incredible inspiration to me. He has developed total control over food. There has been no specific "diet", no magic pill...his strategy is really quite simple. "Eat less, move more". He gave himself a daily limit of 1500 calories and he walks/jogs every day for his exercise.
It wasn't easy in the beginning. Walking was nearly impossible for him due to his size. But he did it. He stuck with it and he pushed through. The endurance that he's built over these last 300+ days is just phenomenal. Recently he and has family went to a Chinese buffet to celebrate one of their daughter's birthdays. He was able to eat a 700 calorie dinner and stay within his limits for the day. I am still not able to do that. I have to avoid the buffets altogether still. I don't have that kind of restraint yet and I know it. But one day I will. I'm going to keep following Sean's example and one day I'll be enjoying the successes that he has.
Please take a moment to hop over to his blog and give him a big Congrats. He sure deserves it! And if you're a new blogger and haven't seen his blog yet...I encourage you to read through and check out his travels. He can be the same inspiration to you that he is to me.
A word to Sean.....what can I say? You rock. You're the man. My heartfelt congratulations to you for such an amazing triumph in this battle. You are so close to having total victory over Obesity and I'm blessed to have found you and had the chance to follow your story. Thank you Sean for your example, for your humility, for truly caring about others and their struggles. Thank you for emailing me with the news yesterday as soon as you found out. I'm glad we're friends and that I have the opportunity to cheer you on all the way to the finish line!
I pulled today's quote from Amy H.'s blog at "No To The Deuce" a couple of weeks ago. I really like this one. :)
Quote For The Day:
"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." -Henry David Thoreau
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Post Delayed...It Will Be Worth It!
I had a very special post planned for tonight but I am delaying it a bit until tomorrow morning. Please make sure you check back as soon as you can tomorrow....it will be a delightful one! :)
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
A Little Tweak This Week
First of all, a great big THANK YOU to my bestest friend for guest posting for me last night. She did an excellent job and I'm quite sure I'll be asking for her services again in the future. :)
Now...here's the deal. I wrote last week that I was definitely, without a doubt, going to have a loss this week. I wrote about my "scale confidence" because I know what it takes to get the weight off. First, the decision...the absolute hardest part. That's been done. Secondly, the old tried and true philosophy of "eat less, move more"...and that's EXACTLY what I've done all week.
So...I hop on the scale yesterday morning to see what kind of glorious loss I'm working towards for Friday's weigh-in and guess what I see? I GAINED A POUND since last Friday. WHAT THE HECK??? My language was actually a little stronger than that, but I'll spare you the four-letter words.
Time to analyze. Have I eaten within my calorie limit since Friday? Absolutely, every single day. Have I done at least 20 mins of cardio every single day? Definitely, yes indeedy. Have I had any binges? Nope. Have I cheated at all on the calories? Nope. Am I lying to myself? No ma'am....absolutely not. Everything is above board and every calorie has been tracked and reported. Am I positive? Is it possible I've been lax at all? Hmmmmm......
Suddenly little mishaps started creeping back into my memory. First off, I keep a dry measuring cup, a liquid measuring cup, a set of measuring spoons, and a food scale on my kitchen counter at all times. I use them every day. Well....ALMOST all of them. There is one thing I haven't been using lately and that's the measuring spoons. I use sugar-free creamer in my coffee and it's 15 calories for 1 tbsp. I usually have 2 cups of coffee when I drink it, so that's 30 calories.
I got tired of the tediousness of measuring out little bits of creamer, so I stopped. I got irritated and I got lazy. I'm thinking I may have thrown an extra 15-30 calories here and there w/o realizing....and those things add up so fast. If I have 2 c. in the morning w/ breakfast, and 2 c. at night when I sit down to do my post...I might be intaking a good bit more calories just in stupid creamer than I was tracking on my nutrition website. So, in light of this error, I started using the measuring spoons again today.
Next in line....potato chips. No, I have not eaten half a bag of chips and not logged it. I DO do my best to be honest about my calories. I want the weight to come off, and as soon as possible, so no sense in purposely not writing something down. Just because you didn't log it, doesn't mean you didn't eat it. I saw something in Amy's post tonight at "Not So Secret Life..." that made me chuckle. Her sister is her personal trainer and she's training Amy to write down every morsel of food. She said, "If you bite it...you write it." I totally agree. However, I did remember that 2 different times yesterday I wanted to snack and I grabbed Dwayne's potato chips and had 2 chips each time....knowing not to eat a whole handful because that would just be stupid. Besides, I'm not a big chip person to start with. Definitely not a trigger food for me. I went back and read the calories on the bag tonight. 7 chips is 70 calories....so the 4 chips I ate and forgot to log was 40 calories!! Doh!
I've also done this with sesame crackers. Again, 7 crackers is 70 calories. Sometimes I'll pop 2 in my mouth when it's too late at night to eat much, and I usually don't have enough calories left anyway. It's a not a huge amount...20 calories...but add that to the chips and the creamer and I'm probably over 100 calories in a day w/o even realizing it. And that's EVERY day in some form or fashion. I've gotten a little soft on the calories apparently and I stopped it today.
Also, this Friday will be the last week for my 2 month/8 week weigh-in and last chance to hit my 10 lb. goal for the month. I've lost 8 lbs....gotta' have 2 more. Of course, I lost 12 last month, so if I don't get the other 2 gone this week, it's still 20 lbs lost in 2 months when you average it out, so technically, I guess the goal is still met. However, that's not how I want to think of it. I want those other 2 lbs gone THIS MONTH. So I decided to tweak things a little bit for today, Wed and Thur to see if it will produce a loss this Friday.
I've cut my calories down to 1400, which is still WELL within the range of calories my nutrition website gives me. They give me a range of 1200-1550. I'm hoping getting more dilligent with counting, and shaving off a few will give me a little boost. Also, I got on the treadmill and did 2 miles again in 30 mins...WOO HOO!! And then I decided this evening to go back down and do 2 MORE MILES/30 mins....for a grand total of 4 MILES today...GO SKINNY TAMMY!!
I'm hoping with this little tweak in my week (I love rhyming phrases :)) that I will see a loss on Friday...one that I can be proud of.
I've picked up some new followers this week....WELCOME!!! I also found some new totally awesome blogs this week...some of them newbies and to me that is just incredibly exciting....I couldn't help myself...I ran over to their blogs with the glorious news that THEY CAN DO IT!!!! I want everyone to know that this is the LAST time they ever have to lose weight. This is it. The grand finale...and the new beginning for them in so many other ways. Every time I read where someone says they're just not sure if they've got it in them to go another round...to try and lose the weight AGAIN...if they're really able to make the change for the better and make it stick this time.....oh my goodness. I start typing so fast there's smoke coming off my keyboard! I know I've only been in it for 7 weeks, but oh my the mental changes I'm making...the 72 lbs or so I've still got to lose doesn't intimidate me at all...not one tiny bit. I run over to their blogs and tell them YES, YOU CAN DO IT!! WITHOUT A DOUBT!! YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT IT IN YOU OR YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE BLOGGING ABOUT IT. WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER!! I'M MENTIONING YOU IN MY BLOG!! LET'S ALL BEAT THIS THING TOGETHER!! LET'S SLAY OBESITY ONCE AND FOR ALL!! ONWARD, SOLDIERS!!
Yes, I know I'm a bit of a dork, lol, but when you finally get the mindset that I've got...the one where you know in your heart of hearts that you've finally got a grip....that you've found that intoxicating power to say "NO" to food...that yes, you really are worth it, when all these fat years you thought you weren't....you just can't help but reach out and grab someone's hand and pull them into the Happy Boat with you. Changing your life is hard....it's a hard, hard road...a lot of days are rough...and some may be stronger than others...or have been in the groove longer. I know on my weak days I go running to the blogs on my blogroll for inspiration, and I always, always find it. Undoubtedly, every time, someone says just what I need to hear....and it strengthens my resolve. It lifts me up when I'm too tired to pick myself up. We're all in this battle together. No one is alone.
This brings me to my quote for the day. I'm sure that by now most of you know about Jen from "Prior Fat Girl" and the untimely and tragic passing of her mom a few days ago. Boy has it had me torn up. I've cried every day since it's happened and prayed fervently that some peace will come to their family quickly. I had never read her blog until I saw a link on someone else's expressing their condolences....I read it on several blogs, actually. I pulled it up tonight and one of Jen's friends wrote a tribute to her mother, Kim. She put a quote in there that Kim had posted as a comment on one of her daughter Jen's posts. This woman and I could have been friends. I could feel her desire to help others....and it mirrors me completely. We have the same heart. :) I lifted it from the post so I could share it with you all tonight.
Quote For The Day:
"Now as we travel the road of life, we need to pick up others along the way as their loads may be too heavy to carry." -Kim, Jen at "Prior Fat Girl"'s mom
Now...here's the deal. I wrote last week that I was definitely, without a doubt, going to have a loss this week. I wrote about my "scale confidence" because I know what it takes to get the weight off. First, the decision...the absolute hardest part. That's been done. Secondly, the old tried and true philosophy of "eat less, move more"...and that's EXACTLY what I've done all week.
So...I hop on the scale yesterday morning to see what kind of glorious loss I'm working towards for Friday's weigh-in and guess what I see? I GAINED A POUND since last Friday. WHAT THE HECK??? My language was actually a little stronger than that, but I'll spare you the four-letter words.
Time to analyze. Have I eaten within my calorie limit since Friday? Absolutely, every single day. Have I done at least 20 mins of cardio every single day? Definitely, yes indeedy. Have I had any binges? Nope. Have I cheated at all on the calories? Nope. Am I lying to myself? No ma'am....absolutely not. Everything is above board and every calorie has been tracked and reported. Am I positive? Is it possible I've been lax at all? Hmmmmm......
Suddenly little mishaps started creeping back into my memory. First off, I keep a dry measuring cup, a liquid measuring cup, a set of measuring spoons, and a food scale on my kitchen counter at all times. I use them every day. Well....ALMOST all of them. There is one thing I haven't been using lately and that's the measuring spoons. I use sugar-free creamer in my coffee and it's 15 calories for 1 tbsp. I usually have 2 cups of coffee when I drink it, so that's 30 calories.
I got tired of the tediousness of measuring out little bits of creamer, so I stopped. I got irritated and I got lazy. I'm thinking I may have thrown an extra 15-30 calories here and there w/o realizing....and those things add up so fast. If I have 2 c. in the morning w/ breakfast, and 2 c. at night when I sit down to do my post...I might be intaking a good bit more calories just in stupid creamer than I was tracking on my nutrition website. So, in light of this error, I started using the measuring spoons again today.
Next in line....potato chips. No, I have not eaten half a bag of chips and not logged it. I DO do my best to be honest about my calories. I want the weight to come off, and as soon as possible, so no sense in purposely not writing something down. Just because you didn't log it, doesn't mean you didn't eat it. I saw something in Amy's post tonight at "Not So Secret Life..." that made me chuckle. Her sister is her personal trainer and she's training Amy to write down every morsel of food. She said, "If you bite it...you write it." I totally agree. However, I did remember that 2 different times yesterday I wanted to snack and I grabbed Dwayne's potato chips and had 2 chips each time....knowing not to eat a whole handful because that would just be stupid. Besides, I'm not a big chip person to start with. Definitely not a trigger food for me. I went back and read the calories on the bag tonight. 7 chips is 70 calories....so the 4 chips I ate and forgot to log was 40 calories!! Doh!
I've also done this with sesame crackers. Again, 7 crackers is 70 calories. Sometimes I'll pop 2 in my mouth when it's too late at night to eat much, and I usually don't have enough calories left anyway. It's a not a huge amount...20 calories...but add that to the chips and the creamer and I'm probably over 100 calories in a day w/o even realizing it. And that's EVERY day in some form or fashion. I've gotten a little soft on the calories apparently and I stopped it today.
Also, this Friday will be the last week for my 2 month/8 week weigh-in and last chance to hit my 10 lb. goal for the month. I've lost 8 lbs....gotta' have 2 more. Of course, I lost 12 last month, so if I don't get the other 2 gone this week, it's still 20 lbs lost in 2 months when you average it out, so technically, I guess the goal is still met. However, that's not how I want to think of it. I want those other 2 lbs gone THIS MONTH. So I decided to tweak things a little bit for today, Wed and Thur to see if it will produce a loss this Friday.
I've cut my calories down to 1400, which is still WELL within the range of calories my nutrition website gives me. They give me a range of 1200-1550. I'm hoping getting more dilligent with counting, and shaving off a few will give me a little boost. Also, I got on the treadmill and did 2 miles again in 30 mins...WOO HOO!! And then I decided this evening to go back down and do 2 MORE MILES/30 mins....for a grand total of 4 MILES today...GO SKINNY TAMMY!!
I'm hoping with this little tweak in my week (I love rhyming phrases :)) that I will see a loss on Friday...one that I can be proud of.
I've picked up some new followers this week....WELCOME!!! I also found some new totally awesome blogs this week...some of them newbies and to me that is just incredibly exciting....I couldn't help myself...I ran over to their blogs with the glorious news that THEY CAN DO IT!!!! I want everyone to know that this is the LAST time they ever have to lose weight. This is it. The grand finale...and the new beginning for them in so many other ways. Every time I read where someone says they're just not sure if they've got it in them to go another round...to try and lose the weight AGAIN...if they're really able to make the change for the better and make it stick this time.....oh my goodness. I start typing so fast there's smoke coming off my keyboard! I know I've only been in it for 7 weeks, but oh my the mental changes I'm making...the 72 lbs or so I've still got to lose doesn't intimidate me at all...not one tiny bit. I run over to their blogs and tell them YES, YOU CAN DO IT!! WITHOUT A DOUBT!! YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT IT IN YOU OR YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE BLOGGING ABOUT IT. WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER!! I'M MENTIONING YOU IN MY BLOG!! LET'S ALL BEAT THIS THING TOGETHER!! LET'S SLAY OBESITY ONCE AND FOR ALL!! ONWARD, SOLDIERS!!
Yes, I know I'm a bit of a dork, lol, but when you finally get the mindset that I've got...the one where you know in your heart of hearts that you've finally got a grip....that you've found that intoxicating power to say "NO" to food...that yes, you really are worth it, when all these fat years you thought you weren't....you just can't help but reach out and grab someone's hand and pull them into the Happy Boat with you. Changing your life is hard....it's a hard, hard road...a lot of days are rough...and some may be stronger than others...or have been in the groove longer. I know on my weak days I go running to the blogs on my blogroll for inspiration, and I always, always find it. Undoubtedly, every time, someone says just what I need to hear....and it strengthens my resolve. It lifts me up when I'm too tired to pick myself up. We're all in this battle together. No one is alone.
This brings me to my quote for the day. I'm sure that by now most of you know about Jen from "Prior Fat Girl" and the untimely and tragic passing of her mom a few days ago. Boy has it had me torn up. I've cried every day since it's happened and prayed fervently that some peace will come to their family quickly. I had never read her blog until I saw a link on someone else's expressing their condolences....I read it on several blogs, actually. I pulled it up tonight and one of Jen's friends wrote a tribute to her mother, Kim. She put a quote in there that Kim had posted as a comment on one of her daughter Jen's posts. This woman and I could have been friends. I could feel her desire to help others....and it mirrors me completely. We have the same heart. :) I lifted it from the post so I could share it with you all tonight.
Quote For The Day:
"Now as we travel the road of life, we need to pick up others along the way as their loads may be too heavy to carry." -Kim, Jen at "Prior Fat Girl"'s mom
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