Friday and Saturday went really well. I ate 1500 calories both days, walked 5 miles on Friday, but only 4 miles on Saturday. I say "only" 4, because 5 was my goal. So let's talk about "listening to my body" in regards to exercise/walking.
I mentioned on Friday that when I got done walking the 5 miles, I took my shoes off to check my toes, discovered some busted blood blisters, and vowed to say to hell with the budget and buy some new tennis shoes. And I did!! Dwayne, being the sweetheart that he is, wouldn't let me pay the whole price though. I found a GREAT sale at Famous Footwear on Saturday, and got a pair of New Balance shoes for only $52!!
I was so excited....and when I got to the register to pay for them, Dwayne whipped $45 out of his wallet before I could even blink, instructing the cashier guy to put that towards it first. I can't believe he did that knowing he'll be getting laid off soon. He's just too good to me, and I'm thankful for his generous, caring heart. So I only had to pay $7 for my brand new shoes!!
Here's some pics of the old ones and the new ones:
We went to the park Saturday morning at 10am and watched the Dog Frisbee Championships for a couple of hours, then home to have lunch, then back out to do some shopping. We got back home, I wrapped my toes in band-aids and then headed to the park around 3pm to do my 5 miles. However, I couldn't make it the whole way. In listening to my body, I had to stop at 4. I just couldn't go any further, all due to my blistered toes. The shoes feel great, but the toes are already blistered and raw and were just hurting too much to reach the daily goal I set of 5 miles.
Also, I laid out my goals for this week that I would have one rest day from the exercise, and would probably make it on Monday. I was figuring 3 days on (Fri, Sat, Sun), a rest day on Monday, and 3 more days on (Tues, Wed, Thur) before my next weigh-in. However, trying to listen to my body, I made today my rest day. I'm trying to give my toes a break. I had to. It's like they're screaming at me, "So help me God Tammy, if you walk on us again we're just going to fall off and then you'll only have 8 toes instead of 10!!!"
But with all of my NORMAL aches and pains....lower back, hips, joints, knees...if I were to completely listen to my body, I'd never exercise again!!! It just hurts. Another thing.....I've always regarded pain with exercise as a way to know that what you're doing is working. We've all heard the phrases...."no pain, no gain"..."feel the burn!". So I feel like if I didn't walk every time something hurt, I'd never get any exercise done....ever. So "listening to my body" in this regard really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. It's like I don't know when I should, and take it easy.....and when I shouldn't, and press on to get it done.
On to listening to the body in regards to food. Yeah, RIGHT!!!! lol
Even 4 months into this, I still want to eat all the time. All the time. I really do. Maybe it's because 20 year habits are hard to change. Maybe it takes more than 4 months to change a habit for me? I don't know. Some days 1500 calories feels like more than enough to me. I can be satisfied at 1300, and then another 200 before bed for the sole purpose of being consistent with my calorie intake. Sean told me early on to be consistent with them when I emailed him for some advice.
Other days, like TODAY, 1500 doesn't feel like nearly enough. I'm at 1553 calories for the day. I accidentally went over because I misjudged a bag of pretzels. When I figured it up later, I was over for the day. But the thing is, I feel like a bottomless pit. I don't feel full or even close to satisfied. My stomach is growling as I'm sitting here typing this post. And on days like this, it just aggravates me to death.
About the thin line between what the body's saying and what the mind is saying.....I've got plenty of healthy foods here that I can eat if I wanted to eat a couple hundred more calories. And it would probably satisfy me, although I'd be pissed that I totally blew my daily goal. But my mind is saying...."well hell Tammy, if you're going to blow the daily goal, make it worth it!! You know you don't want a cheesestick or a Kashi bar. Drive to town and get a sub, or some fried chicken tenders. At least your stomach will go to bed happy."
It's a struggle some days...it really is. I'm not going to eat anymore today. I've made fantastic progress so far with losing 39 lbs in 4 months and there's no turning back for me. The 6 lb. gain I had last week is just unbelievable to me. I'm really disappointed in myself for letting the calorie counting go for a few days. Tremendously disappointed. But I'm not going to give up over it. I'm going to press on. Just trying to figure stuff out along the way.
I guess if I keep telling my body "NO!" on the hungry days, like today, that maybe one day it will get easier. I keep hearing that it will if I just stay the course. Just kind of wondering how long it's going to take. Or maybe I'm one of those unfortunate people that will always have a tendency to want to overeat. Maybe it will still be a battle even when I get to maintenance. I don't know. What I do know is that even after 4 months of trying to do the right things, I still don't trust myself enough to completetly listen to my body...with the exercise OR the food. If I did, I'd never exercise again, and I'd be working my way back up to the 340 lbs. I used to weigh.
One thing I do know is that when I have a bad day....the next day is usually brighter. I'm going to finish up this post and white-knuckle the table until time for bed. There will be no more eating tonight, and I will be doing my walk at the park tomorrow morning. I'm also planning on trying one of my new recipes tomorrow....I'm going to try and make the Butternut Squash Soup off of Pam's food blog, "Lobster and Fishsticks". If I get it made, I'll post a pic of it. Hope everyone has had a lovely Fall weekend. 'Nite all. :)
Quote For the Day:
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." -John Quincy Adams