I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first? The good news, of course!
My mom and I got over the argument and everything's back to normal now. She didn't feel like it was that big of a deal in the first place, so that made me feel even better. Things are always a bigger deal to me than anyone else because I'm so emotional.
Dwayne called me today from work on his lunch break and we talked about 45 minutes. He's not pulling away this time! I can't tell you what a relief that is. He's looking forward to a good weekend with me and Scarlette and will be here tomorrow evening after work, just like normal.
The bad news is, I got on the scale tonight to see what kind of damage the retarded eating from last Fri, Sat and Sun was going to cost me. My official weigh-in is tomorrow morning, but today it said 240 lbs. I was 233 lbs last Friday. That's a 7 lb. gain, but I will say that I've been known to lose up to 5 lbs overnight after all the bodily functions have been taken care of. Even if that happened, I'm still up a couple of pounds. Now here's the REALLY bad news. I had way too much sodium today. Didn't go crazy on the volume or calories, but what I did eat was just too damn salty. As if a 2-3 lb gain weren't enough already, I didn't pay close enough attention to what I was doing today.
I got to thinking about how retarded that is. Normally, the day before my weigh-in is the strictest day of the week for me. I watch everything like a hawk. Not today. I wasn't stressing over it like I normally do. I don't want to say I didn't care, but it's almost like that. Hmmmmmm. Time for some reflection here. What the hell is going on with me?
I've decided I've become complacent with the weight loss. I think because I'm 4 months into it, the new has worn off, the calorie counting is getting tedious, and some days I just feel like "winging it". Some people call it complacent. For me, I'm going to call it laziness. Thus the title of this post...a combination of the two...complaziness.
Bottom line is, I don't like it and I don't want to stay this way. So that means I need to find a way to nuke the boredom, even if it's just a small change or two. My one main goal for this coming week is to work on the consistency. I noticed that nearly every month, I have 2 pretty big losses, and 2 gains. And it's entirely my fault. It's because I suck in the consistency department. That bugs me. I would really like to see a loss, no matter how big or small, but an actual LOSS 2-3 weeks in a row. That is my next goal.
I'm also going to try some new recipes this week. At least 3 new ones, and to hold me accountable to that, I'm going to take pics of them and post them on my blog, no matter how they turn out. I've got a few different healthy eating recipe magazines and books now so there's no reason not to take a little time to sit down and prepare for my coming week. I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow with the $85 that Shane gave me, so I'm going to pick out my recipes, and make my list.
I'm thinking about something else. I'm thinking that I may have also screwed myself this week by cutting back on the exercise. Last week I walked nearly 6 miles every day, but I was really hurting. This week I cut it back to 4 miles a day...and I think I'm suffering from it. So next week it's back up to 6 miles, with making sure I have one rest day in the middle...probably Monday.
So that's it for tonight. I'm going to really HATE posting my weigh-in tomorrow morning. This one feels like the worst one yet. But...it's like Abby said on the Biggest Loser show this week..."this is a marathon...not a sprint". My biggest concern is trying to stay on course, and when things aren't going right, stay after it...figure it out...change things up...whatever I have to do to get to that goal. I really love that I'm learning so much along the way. This has never happened any previous time I lost weight. I'm really doing it the right way this time....working out the kinks as I go. I'm doing something that I'll be able to maintain for life and that just thrills me!
I'm off to find some recipes.....I'll be back in the morning with my head hung in shame and 'fessing up.
Quote For the Day:
"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something." -Carl Sandburg
4 months ago