A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Two Down: Two To Go!

I had a busy weekend filled with bad eating choices.  There...I said it.  Time to move on!  Oh...we need to reminisce about it?  Fine...here's what I did....

Friday was ok....egg white scramble for breakfast and grilled chicken for lunch from a place called El Pollo Loco.  Then came dinner out with Dwayne, my supervisor and friend Billie and my ex-roommate Shane (who married Billie!)....we had a great time with Shane and Billie....but dinner was at a Chinese buffet.  One plate of food...but a big plate, and it had some fried stuff on it, too. 

Saturday morning was a tuna salad sandwich on a whole wheat bun because I already had the tuna mixed up and didn't feel like cooking...shared it with Scarlette.  Yes, my dog loves tuna salad, lol.  Then she and I headed to the park for a walk....we ended up taking a trail through the woods at the back of the park, and ended up in a completely different park....so we had to turn around and re-trace our steps, and it ended up being at least an hour long walk...maybe a little longer.  That felt good.

After that, I went back to the apt....drug Dwayne out of bed, fixed his breakfast, got my shower, headed to the salon for a manicure, then to Publix to pick up a few things.  I got back home around 2pm and had brought back some food from the Publix deli....fried chicken tenders and Mardi Gras wings...I think those ones are baked.  Stirred up some honey and mustard for a sauce...and that was lunch.  I was pretty much feeling like dog poop at this point due to my cycle...it looks like this one is going to last the full 2 weeks because it is STILL hanging around and yesterday and today I've been having SEVERE cramps.  I really hate this crap.  Anyhoo...back to Saturday....feeling bloated from the cycle and in a good amount of pain due to my PCOS, and very, very lethargic.  Took a nap on the loveseat and woke up an hour later.  Just couldn't get to feeling good, didn't feel like doing any chores around the house...so I sat in front of the TV like a lump.  About 7pm I told Dwayne I didnt' feel like cooking, and we ordered Blue Moon pizza...his half was sausage and pepperoni....my half was meatballs and mushrooms....I ate 2 of the 4 pieces....and decided to throw the other 2 pieces away so I wouldn't eat them the next morning....I LOVE cold pizza for breakfast.

Sunday morning I had a bagel with one egg and lite mayo on it.  It was one of those full-fat, full-calorie, like 300 calories a piece bagels....which I haven't seen since I was on vacation at the beach with Dwayne in May.  We had ran into Walmart after dinner out on Friday at the Chinese restaurant, and Dwayne picked them up for his breakfast this wknd.  I knew it was dangerous....I knew they shouldn't be in my house....but I feel stupid telling him what he can and can't bring into the house....I feel like I should have more control and actually be able to act like a sane adult no matter what food is around me.  Well I failed big time at that.  I resisted the bagels Sat morning...but I totally caved Sunday and ate one with an egg on it.  And not an egg white...a whole egg.  Which means 75 calories as opposed to 17. 

At this point in the weekend, I pretty much threw in the towel.  I had made such a series of bad choices, that I didn't want to even put in the effort to TRY and recover...and I very consciously said "to hell with it".  I was supposed to meet Kim, Crys and Tina for lunch and shopping at the Farmer's Market at 11:30am.  Kim texted me and told me she was feeling ill and unable to make it....and then Tina called me and said Crys had an impromptu business meeting I think, and she had to cancel also.  Well Tina and I had both planned on doing our grocery shopping for the week at the Farmer's Market, so instead of cancelling, we went ahead and met up and had a GREAT time together. 

They have a salad bar and a hot bar there.  Tina headed straight for the salad bar while I got a little salad, then made a beeline for the hot bar.  I got a little spoon of baked chicken & pineapple w/ red & green peppers, a small piece of baked turkey, 3 baked italian herb chicken wings, half of a fried chicken breast...and the salad I had already put on my plate.  We had water to drink.  It was very tasty, and we enjoyed fabulous conversation.  Then we shopped!!  That store is just fantastic...it's got all kinds of stuff..anything you could want (including a fabulous bakery).  I got a small, single-serving chocolate cheesecake and a pecan tart to take home and share with Dwayne...I ate 2-3 bites of each, and gave him the rest.  I bought some produce, tilapia, chicken sausage, and some white pepper and herbs de provence in the spice section....and only spent $37.  Not bad!  I plan on returning very soon.  The conversastion and visit with Tina was wonderful...she is just such an awesome person.....so down-to-earth, kind, hilarious, and generally just a great person to be around.  Can't wait to see her again soon, too. 

Went back home....cramps were KILLING me...and while I had a good time visiting and shopping with Tina, and was feeling like crapola, physically.  After I got home....around 2:30pm.....I split a meatball sub with Dwayne from Subway....knowing I had plans to meet another friend and old co-worker for dinner at 5pm.  Well Tasha ended up running a little late...she didn't get to Wild Wing Cafe til 5:30...and then it took us until 6pm to decide what we wanted.  I ended up eating 3/4 of an order of fried mushrooms off the appetizer menu, 2 slider burgers with cheese, onion, pickle and ketchup...and the fries that came with it...every one of them.  Not hideous enough yet???  Let me continue!!!

Before I left to meet Tasha....I had made dinner for Dwayne at the apt.....baked some bbq baby back ribs that I found on sale at Publix...and some homemade fries.  Tasha and I hung out and talked at the restaurant til 8pm...then I ran by Publix and picked up a few things....getting home around 9pm....and what did I do?  I ate again!!!!  There were ribs and fries left....so I had 3 of the baby back ribs and 3 of the homemade fries.  At this point I'm so miserable, physically and mentally, that I'm just ready to lay down and DIE.  This is the worst weekend eating-wise that I've had in many, many months.  Even when things were in chaos while I was having my garage sale, packing up my whole house, and getting moved....I didn't do NEAR as bad as I did this wknd.  And for no good reason...I just didn't feel like trying.  Yes, I felt like crap physically due to the bad cycle....but it's not a good enough reason to excuse what I did with my eating choices.

I'm feeling really stupid this morning...and bloated, and irritable, and sad...you name it..I'm feelin' it.  :(

However....there has to come a point where the bad choices end and the good ones ensue.  Today is that day.  I was running late this morning...woke up feeling like garbage and just could not get motivated.  I was late in getting out the door so didn't take time to pack my lunch, although my frig is stocked with healthy choices.  For breakfast, I made a quick sandwich on wheat sourdough bread I got at the Farmer's Market and some 47% lower sodium Boar's Head turkey breast I got at Publix.  I ate half of it.....deciced that was all I needed for breakfast, and wrapped up the other half and threw it in the frig.  Got my shower, threw on some clothes and eye make-up and darted out the door.  No lunch packed....but whatever I decide to get...it's going to be WAY better than anything I had over the weekend.  And yes, I got on the scale this morning when I got out of bed....and you can probably imagine just how incredibly bad it was.  Last Friday I was 249.something?  This morning I was 256.something.  Damn.  Hmmm.  Wonder how that happened...lol..just teasing.  I know exactly how that happened...and now you do, too.

Moving on......have a great day friends....:)


  1. Well congrats on deciding it was time for the bad choices to end. I used to be someone who would make the bad choices and then let the guilt for making THOSE bad choices lead me to making new bad ones. I had to teach myself that If I made bad food choices then i need to accept that i did, and move to making the day a better one.

    Hope you have a great day too! :)

  2. That's exactly how I get myself into trouble most weekends. I go from one unhealthy food choice to another and it just seems to snowball. I haven't stepped on the scale yet this morning 'cause I'm dreading having to see the evidence of the burgers, chicken wings, tons of tortilla chips, Biz' fresh homemade salsa, and if that wasn't enough, ICE CREAM. What was I thinking? Time to get back on track AGAIN! Let's get back on the wagon this week and hope for good numbers by Friday. I hope those damn cramps go away soon. Good luck!

  3. Oh yeah, it's good that you realize the bad choices have to end and are making better choices today! That's what it's all about, picking ourselves up and getting back on the wagon as soon as possible! Continue making good choices all this week!!

  4. I hear 150% last week I was 209 this morning I am 216, I have alot of work to do this week.

  5. It's probably your cycle doing it to you. And there's really nothing you can do, except try to make good choices. And drink your water.

  6. Hey, so you slipped. Back up on the horse, girl! And away you go!!

  7. It must have been something in the air in ATL cause I had a bad weekend too - oh well back on board today :)
    Hope you feel better soon and glad you had fun at the market - yep the bakery is awesome and I try hard to stay away from it. They have great samoosas in the hot food bar :)

  8. I'm so glad you guys were able to make it to the Farmer's Market. Work can suck it for making me miss it. Please let me know the next time you're going and I'll be there! Sorry I missed you girls!

    Sorry about the rough weekend. I always say no one day or weekend defines this journey! Shake it off and move on. :)

  9. Weekends happen! I can relate - I'm also feeling a bit disgusted with myself, though didn't have quite the eating fest you did this weekend. But trust me when I say I've had many of them. I really admire and salute your honesty and reporting it all! You got courage, girl! Big time!

  10. Wish I had some words of wisdom to share here...but all of these awesome ladies already said anything that I might be able to contribute (and they said it so much better than I could have/would have). Today's a new day...and sounds like you are being diligent in your choices...keep it up! It's a long hard road--but we can all do it together!

  11. This post dovetails right into my "Dream in Perfection" post today! I'm glad you left the weekend behind you, and rededicated yourself to your eating plan. THAT is the most important thing. We all have those lapses, and it is especially hard to fight against TOM cravings and blahs. A very rare day or two off plan won't derail all the consistently sound choices you've made, so it is good not to beat yourself up over it. I love your attitude (and your humor)!! Here is to a much better week!! (Raising my water glass ...) xx

  12. Everyone else is right. Today is a new day and it's time to move on. Sorry to hear you had a rough time but those damn hormones make it so much worse. Either way it awesome to see you!

  13. I think you will be back on track. I on the other hand I have the mess up days ALL the time. :)

  14. OK girl...you and me need to quit with the crappy choices that keep us overweight. Seriously...I'm totally over it. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on "starting" over. We fall...but we can get back up. I hope your day went well :)