It's been a bad one. I'm really, really trying to turn my attitude around so I can start off on a positive, happy note tomorrow morning at work. For right now, my attitude and mood are in the toilet. Let's go back to Friday afternoon, shall we?
I slipped and fell on a wet floor that had just been mopped at Wal-mart (yes, it was clearly marked, and I walked across it anyway...brilliant!!!). Anyhoo...I sprained my left ankle. This has not made for a happy weekend. First of all, I don't like being incapacitated one little bit. I get crabby and bitchy, and if you're in my path, you're liable to get your head bitten off. My mom can attest to this from times past...I don't make a very good patient. Enter Dwayne. Bless his heart. He was trying to take care of me and I was mean to him...which I apologized for a little while later. I was irritated and bawling over the fact that I JUST joined a gym again LAST WEEK and now this. Now this. I swear I have the worst luck of any person I know. Sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward, 3 steps back, and that sh*t gets old.
So....I was supposed to go to the gym with Kim on Sunday....I had to cancel. I had to stay in the house all weekend and Dwayne kept my foot iced and wrapped in an Ace bandage....he brought me drinks, helped me to the bed, brought me food, etc. He was very, very sweet and took excellent care of me. Did I mention he brought me food? lol Things were bad. He would have been willing to bring me anything I wanted, but I don't like being a burden, I had already bit his head off once, and so I just let the whole weekend go. I ate on his schedule, instead of mine, which means we ate 2 big meals a day, instead of the 5-6 small meals I'm accustomed to eating. I didn't like this one little bit, but I let it happen. It was my choice. I hobbled over to the scale on Saturday morning. I was 248 last Friday....I was 256 Saturday morning. An 8 lb. gain overnight. How???? It's my same old sodium issue. I hobbled back over to the scale this morning (Sunday)..and again....256 lbs. I didn't drink near enough water this weekend to flush it, so I'm sure I'll see the same thing on Tuesday morning, or close to it, which is another thing that pisses me off.....I very well may show a GAIN for the month on the final weigh-in for my challenge. It's just maddening. It makes me want to pull all my hair out and run away screaming. This is what I get for having to eat out all weekend....well, I didn't go out...he brought it in....or ordered it in....but you get what I'm saying.
Here's another thing. We're going to Cherokee, N.C. this coming Labor Day weekend. He already told me last week not to even plan on grilling out like the last time we went. He told me he doesn't want to fool with bringing a cooler....or any snacks (I usually bring my own snacks like fruit, etc so I can keep track of the calories better)....he said we're just going to go and "enjoy ourselves" and eat on the fly.....eat whatever's around....eat everything "out"....fast food and regular restaurants. (EYEROLL). Why do I even try? Seriously. Why do I keep trying? There are more roadblocks and curve balls that I can keep up with.
I know that I just have a pissy attitude right now because I've been down for the count all weekend. And I know the scale is up 8 lbs overnight. I know I'll feel better tomorrow after a night's sleep. I haven't even packed a healthy lunch and snacks for tmrw's workday yet, because I know one day won't make a difference on the scale for Tuesday morning's weigh-in. At the same time...I know that's the wrong attitude to take. I know it is. I need to turn my frown upside down, lol. What a dorky saying...but true. So............picking myself up by the boot straps AGAIN...hobbling to the kitchen....gonna' pack a healthy lunch and get this show back on the road. I might even pretend to care, lol. 'Nite everyone. :)
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he sounds like a good guy but why doesn't he support your eating habits/needs?
ReplyDeleteOuch! Sounds like your having my kind of luck. I hope that black cloud that's been following you moves out to make way for sunshine and rainbows. Hang in there and keep that foot iced and elevated.
ReplyDeleteYikes! So sorry!
ReplyDeletePack your own food anyway...seriously. And so sorry about your foot. It stinks, but it will get better if you keep resting.
ReplyDeleteJust keep going...I have to do the same thing, and it's way easier said than done. I know...but you can keep moving forward...
Feel better...
The best thing about bad weekends is that they are soon over and behind us. I hope you are soon feeling better, Tammy!
ReplyDeleteSorry about the ankle - hope its feeling better!
ReplyDeleteI know it feels like roadblock after roadblock with him, but...well, you are letting it go on, you know? One of these days you are just going to have to have the dreaded TALK with him and let the calories fall where they may, if you ever want to beak the cycle, but I know you know this.
You have broken through so many obstacles (of which I am so proud of you for doing) and I hope you will find the cahunas to break this one soon!
I hope you feel better this morning. take care and hugs sent to you :)
ReplyDeleteDwayne might just be seeing and hearing a little too much of this diet stuff and he wants you to just let go for one weekend so he can enjoy himself.
ReplyDeleteThere will be water where ever you go and maybe...just maybe this eating stuff off your diet will change your metabolism and come the Tuesday after Labor Day you will lose weight easier in September. :0)
Have a great time together.
Hope you ankle feels better by then.
Oh no! I'm so sorry about your ankle! I hope this week is a great one for you to help make up for such a horrible weekend. *BIG HUGS*
ReplyDeleteHope that the ankle is better...it's a real pain of an injury--but you have to make sure that you are 100% before we start working out again--don't need to reinjure or do further damage.
ReplyDeletePlus, I think that Dwayne's heart is in the right place--he just wants you to go and enjoy the weekend...and not be consumed with the caloric intake. Maybe I a naive, but I believe that his heart is in the right place...:) Hopefully you can reach some sort of a compromise...
Hope that this week gets off to a better start than the end of last week...:)
Well, I know you also rise to a challenge, so I know you can survive 'eating on the fly'. You can tweak restaurant foods alittle, have them modded just slightly so it works better in your plan right now. That is a food challenge I know you can do. If he wants to eat at this fast food restaurant, maybe you can get a small sub and take it to HIS restaurant. (I forget the name of the sub place you go to.) That is no big problem, and he should still be able to consider it enjoying yourselves. [especially if that is what makes the love of his life happy!]
ReplyDeleteI would also recommend taking maybe a lunchbox the size of what you would take to work. Keep some of your essentials in there so you can continue to eat healthy, small amounts frequently. I do not allow myself to get too hungry. You can start with one Chobani in there in addition to your other stuff, (banana, pretzels, blueberries, trail mix, lowfat cheese, whatever else you eat..) and when you eat it buy another one! The supermarket is your friend. Your lodging probably has a refrigerator, you will pass grocery stores..
Tammy, this is what you are doing right now, who you are now, and Dwayne loves who you are. As long as it isn't a huge focus, which I don't think it is bc it is your 2nd nature, you can DO it, and he won't really mind or notice. Just casually ask to stop by the grocery store. Yes, I'm sure he will buy things that aren't ideal, but you eat your goodies.
And loads of water! Pep talk yourself in advance..water, water, water!
You can do it. Sometimes at a restaurant I think about if faced with this menu, what would Jillian Michaels choose & modify. And heck, he can pick some of the places, you can pick some.
Now we're anxious to hear how it all turns out. Oh and do plenty of walking - or swimming might be more realistic due to your ankle! Ow!
Have fun! Chrissy
Oh, me again, sorry, but I just thought about it that maybe Dwayne sees the way you eat as inconvenient for YOU too, and he is trying to free you of that 'burden' for the wkend. So you can let him know/realize that it isn't at all, it is how you roll, and you actually prefer to keep it going.
ReplyDeleteIt might have been another way he meant to look out for you. :)
Chrissy
Sorry you had such a bad weekend! Hope your foot is feeling much better. Hubby and I were out of town this weekend, and it sounds alot like your coming weekend, but you can still make it work.
ReplyDeleteSubway is a great choice for breakfast- western eggwhite muffin is perfect...and cracker barral is also an okay option with oatmeal and fruit!
Sonic has a grilled chicken sandwich on a wheat bun...if you get it without mayo it is not too bad. Wendy's can work with a side salad and plain potatoe.
Even if you can't find a great option you can find a "better" option! You can do it!
So sorry about your bad weekend. Hope your ankle starts to feel better really soon. I understand your frustration. Its so hard when you are trying to do good and things that are out of your control sidetrack you. Don't stress over the gain, or the bad weekend eating. Just do the best you can to get on track this week before your vacation. And if you have to eat on the fly, that's fine. ENJOY your vacation and just choose the best options you can for where you are at. When I travel I take a huge purse/bag to keep all the essientials in: wet ones, snacks, bottled water, maps, etc. Use a bigger bag as your purse and pack some healthy snacks in it so you aren't stuck without options. But make your main focus to be to enjoy yourself and your time with your loved one. Its such a small time frame in the larger picture of your lifestyle change. So even if your not "plan perfect" on vacation, you can get back to business when you come home. Have a great time..Cherokee is BEAUTIFUL. If you get a chance, drive through Maggie Valley.
ReplyDeleteHi Tammy - Sorry I missed this yesterday but I didn't go near a computer! So sorry to hear about your ankle...sprains are real buggers and can hang around awhile. Try to keep you foot elevated as much as possible to keep swelling down, and compress it with an ace bandage. Even at work, try to keep it up on a chair or something when you can. Also ibuprofen will help the pain and inflammation.
ReplyDeleteI love Cherokee, NC...beautiful country. You've gotten a lot of good advice already. For me, I wouldn't enjoy myself as much if I went totally crazy while there, knowing the consequences that would be waiting at the scale! Just drink gobs of water this week and do the best you can. If you knock of a few of the water pounds, you'll feel better about relaxing a little over the holiday weekend. Follow those guidelines some of the previous commenters left...they are some smart people! Big hugs to you.
Hope your ankle is much better today hunni xx
ReplyDeleteI am getting close to getting back on track so i will be chivvying you along with me, we will get there one day and it is not too far away!!
Hugs
Sheilagh
xx
about 6 years ago, I joined a gym, and then a week later was in a car accident and broke my hip. I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've had such a tough week!
ReplyDeleteAs a "newbie" to your blog, I find it so inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.... one that I'm on, too! =)
Grrr, so frustrating even just reading that! Sorry about all the stuff that is literally weighing you down. I'm a bad patient too, I hate depending on other people for those simple things I'm used to doing myself.
ReplyDelete