A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Things Are Really Bad

Thank you for all for your supportive and helpful comments from my last post. Unfortunately, the only one I got to read Friday night was Jack's....but I'm so glad I did. I carried his advice with me during the 9 hours away from home and 2 restaurant meals on Saturday. Breakfast at Golden Corral was 1 plate, no piling, and half of it was fruit. Lunch was at a bar and grille....1/2 of a grilled grouper sandwich w/ lettuce & tomato and 5 fries....everything else went in the trash. Water to drink.

Was very busy today w/ doing stuff at the new house...our official "move" date is this coming Saturday. Was thinking everything was right on track when I got a text message this afternoon. It was from my roommate Shane's girlfriend, Billie. Shane had been in a car wreck and was in the emergency room. I zoomed up there....the xrays came back, and he has a 3" gap inbetween his clavicle bone and another bone that should have no gap inbetween them.

Here's why things are so bad. Shane had cerebal palsy at birth, and only has one good arm to start with. That arm is the one that is now in a sling. That "good" arm, has already had 4 previous surgeries on the shoulder. There's so much scar tissue that I'm not sure it can handle another surgery, but the ER doctor told him he MUST see an orthopaedic surgeon tomorrow morning.

Here's where it gets worse. He's now out of work. He does telemarketing work, and uses that one hand to do all his typing. Now he can't do anything. My unemployment check is pathetic. I can barely hold my own head above water each month, just trying to pay my half of the bills. There's no way in the world I can pay his half too. We are seriously headed into a downward spiral financially here and I just don't know what to do.

Here's where it gets even worse. He can't do anything for himself while his arm's in that sling. He can't drive, use the phone, feed himself, bathe himself, dress himself, or go to the bathroom and take care of himself. I will have to do it for him. I am fixing to have a much more intimate knowledge of Shane than I ever cared to have. And I will have to be here 24/7 to help him. I can't leave the apt in case he needs something. I can't take care of any last minute stuff before the move. I'm overwhelmed and consumed with stress right now. This is my reality right now and it sucks big time.

I feel really bad about writing such a negative post after the last negative post Friday night, but there's just nothing positive going on right now. I figured I better say something so you didn't think I fell off the face of the earth....although taking a flying leap is sounding pretty damn good right about now.


  1. Hi Tammy. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. Just breath. This too will pass. Have you tried looking into any other forms of help for Shane? Disability or Social Security anything like that? Do you have a church or any type of support group that could help you with cares for Shane? Praying for you and Shane...

  2. Oh Tammy,
    I don't know what to say. I do know that your spiritual strength can help you through and I do know that like everything else---these hard times will pass.
    You're a survivor my friend. You've always been a survivor right? You will make it somehow--some way.
    I'm praying that blessings will come your way real soon.

    My best always Tammy,

  3. Man, Tammy, I'm sorry. That's really a bad hand to be dealt. But it sounds like you are a strong Christian and I know that God will help you through this. You will find a way to make it work. I'll be praying for you and Shane.

    By the way, great job staying on plan with your eating on your day out with Dwayne.

  4. WOW - talk about a self fulfilling prophecy! you called it on Friday with your "going to be a bad weekend" post... Don't let this worlwind floor you ! First, thank God your roomate is alive, with no life threatening injuries. Now, take a deep breath. This jolt in your universe does not have to be doom. I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. We have to be patient and wait to see the pattern of things. You have had this new load of responsibility dropped on you because.... You can handle it. And I would venture to guess that if your roomate is laid up as you describe, he will need a caring nurturing friend, You. How lucky he is. I guess the new strength and determination you have attained from your health successes will now be put to good use. Nurture your hurt friend as only a strong woman can :) You will both be ok - just trust... and remember to breath! This will pass Tammy, and soon will be a post you will look back on and say "Whew, that was a rough patch".

  5. Tammy - I'm so sorry about Shane. Are there some volunteer organizations in your area that could help you with caring for Shane? You're never alone in this day & age - reach out for some help. You shouldn't have to be in this alone. I'm thinking of you.

  6. Oh gosh...I'm so very sorry for Shane, for you. What an ordeal. You both will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Tammy, so sorry about Shane - he is lucky to have such a good friend as you to help take care of him. Hang in there, sweetie - hugs to you!

  8. Oh, Tammy! I am so very sorry to hear about Shane, and about all the extra stress going on in your life.
    I wish there were something I could do to help you out. Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way! And don't forget we're all here for you. Always a cyber-shoulder for you to cry on. Never be afraid to let it all out, because it will make you feel better (hopefully) and we certainly won't mind.

  9. Tammy, please know that I'm thinking of you and Shane and hoping for the best. I'd think there would be an agency of some sort that could be of some assistance. Keep calling around 'til you find someone.

  10. Shane is blessed having a friend in you, he will need more support from other sources though. You cannot be doing it all. As Amy H says make enquiries at volunteer organisations, there is a lot of help out there.

    I hope things begin to improve for you both very soon.

    Big hugs


  11. PS You have an award on my blog too xxx

  12. Hi Tammy, I'm thinking of you and so sorry to hear about your roommate! You are a good friend to help him while he recuperates. Don't try to do it all. Call on his girlfriend too, so that you can still have a bit of time for yourself. We all need that.

  13. Wow, I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much right now. I hope you have someone that could help you? Friends or family that could relieve you for a couple of hours some days? Just so you can get a break.
    I hope things turn around quickly for you.

  14. Oh, girlie. You will get through this, one step at a time. Just don't be afraid to call in reinforcements! Don't try to be superwoman!

    You are such a sweet woman and dear friend to your loved ones. This is good karma. :)

    Hugs to you! Keep your spirits high!!