Things Are Really Bad

Thank you for all for your supportive and helpful comments from my last post. Unfortunately, the only one I got to read Friday night was Jack's....but I'm so glad I did. I carried his advice with me during the 9 hours away from home and 2 restaurant meals on Saturday. Breakfast at Golden Corral was 1 plate, no piling, and half of it was fruit. Lunch was at a bar and grille....1/2 of a grilled grouper sandwich w/ lettuce & tomato and 5 fries....everything else went in the trash. Water to drink.

Was very busy today w/ doing stuff at the new house...our official "move" date is this coming Saturday. Was thinking everything was right on track when I got a text message this afternoon. It was from my roommate Shane's girlfriend, Billie. Shane had been in a car wreck and was in the emergency room. I zoomed up there....the xrays came back, and he has a 3" gap inbetween his clavicle bone and another bone that should have no gap inbetween them.

Here's why things are so bad. Shane had cerebal palsy at birth, and only has one good arm to start with. That arm is the one that is now in a sling. That "good" arm, has already had 4 previous surgeries on the shoulder. There's so much scar tissue that I'm not sure it can handle another surgery, but the ER doctor told him he MUST see an orthopaedic surgeon tomorrow morning.

Here's where it gets worse. He's now out of work. He does telemarketing work, and uses that one hand to do all his typing. Now he can't do anything. My unemployment check is pathetic. I can barely hold my own head above water each month, just trying to pay my half of the bills. There's no way in the world I can pay his half too. We are seriously headed into a downward spiral financially here and I just don't know what to do.

Here's where it gets even worse. He can't do anything for himself while his arm's in that sling. He can't drive, use the phone, feed himself, bathe himself, dress himself, or go to the bathroom and take care of himself. I will have to do it for him. I am fixing to have a much more intimate knowledge of Shane than I ever cared to have. And I will have to be here 24/7 to help him. I can't leave the apt in case he needs something. I can't take care of any last minute stuff before the move. I'm overwhelmed and consumed with stress right now. This is my reality right now and it sucks big time.

I feel really bad about writing such a negative post after the last negative post Friday night, but there's just nothing positive going on right now. I figured I better say something so you didn't think I fell off the face of the earth....although taking a flying leap is sounding pretty damn good right about now.