A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I've Been Inspired!!

I think I've mentioned Amy H. before at "No To The Deuce" listed on my blogroll, but I have such a terrific reason to mention her again that I'm making this whole post about what I read in her post tonight!!

She just got back from a family weekend at Cripple Creek. While there, she enjoyed a parade that involved some military troops. On one of the awesome soldier's shirts (I am sooooo pro-military and oozing with patriotism), she read this: "Pain is just weakness leaving the body."

Oh.....my......gosh. This is one of those inspirational sayings that has grabbed me and just won't let go. When I read it, I felt like I had been slapped right between the eyes....but a good slap!

My biggest, nagging issue with the weight loss is the exercise. More specifically, the walking I'm doing on the treadmill. As I explained tonight to Amy in a comment I left on her post, I completely suck at it. I really do. Yes, I'm pushing myself to get on it every day. But what a struggle it is. A daily struggle. The reason it's so hard to make myself do it is for one simple reason. It hurts. Even after 8 weeks of doing it steadily, it still REALLY hurts.

I've had lower back issues for years...not just because of the weight...but from actual injuries...straining it too many times from helping friend's move and lifting furniture...one time I was roller skating on the asphalt with some friends in our neighborhood as a teenager and both feet slipped out from under me at the same time and Oh! My bottom hit that asphalt so hard and I heard something pop. That's the very first injury I remember to my lower back.

Another time, several years ago, I was helping my boyfriend at the time put a post in the ground. He was doing a job for a subdivision and we were out in front of the subdivision, RIGHT BESIDE the main highway...a very busy highway. It was a 16 foot long, 6x6 wooden post. It was huge and it was heavy. I don't even know how we lifted it off the ground in the first place and got it upright and steadied but we did. I'm sure it helped that he himself was 6'7 and I'm 5'10. We were inching the post close to the hole....we were almost there...and then we lost the balance. The post was starting to fall TOWARDS TRAFFIC. In that split second I had a vision of it landing in someone's windshield of their car and killing them right in front of me.

My mind freaked, I wrapped both of my arms around that post and lifted the entire thing up off the ground BY MYSELF (the bf let go) and dropped it into the deep hole. It was adrenaline. I could never do that again in a million years.
Well....that little stunt landed me in the chiropractor's office for 5 straight weeks. Something about the sciatica nerve I think. All I know is I couldn't sit, stand, or lay down without immense pain. I had to drape myself over the loveseat, looking at the floor, to relieve the pressure and pain in my back. I would stay like that for HOURS.

Anyhoo....talk about getting off an a major tangent!! The point is....my back ALREADY hurts, before I even get on the treadmill, and it makes me dread it all the more. Of course, after the workout, my knees and legs are in pretty bad shape too. It makes me want to scream my head off every day due to the frustration of WANTING to do more, and physically just not being able to do so. The most I can do is 2.5...maybe 3 miles if I really push it...at one time.

However, when I read this quote: Pain is just weakness leaving the body....it was like I was viewing this exercise thing with "new eyes" (I lifted the eye thing from Sean's post from last night.....EXCELLENT post...go check it out!). A whole new outlook. Now, when it starts to hurt, I can smile instead of cringe. I know that it means what I'm doing is working. I know that it means the endurance WILL come eventually. I know that it means I'm getting stronger. It means I'm improving. With every step, it means I'm leaving Fat Tammy further and further behind.

Before someone tells me that if it hurts that bad, just don't do it....I've had several doctors tell me over the years that walking...specifically walking as an exercise...is one of the best, low impact exercises I can do to strengthen the muscles in my back and alleviate pain.

This new quote is my new inspiration for when I'm strapping on my tennis shoes every day. I'm going to view the pain as a good thing. I'm going to stop dreading it. I do think that after a good chunk of this weight is gone, that the pain will be much less. I think watching what I eat, and continuing with daily exercise, will lead to strengthening my whole body...my back, my legs, my knees...the whole shabang.

For the record, although my eating has been off plan for the last 3-4 days, the exercise and the water intake have been golden. I have been on that treadmill every single day without fail since Friday and I have consumed at least (3) 32 oz. glasses of water every single day. I'm trying to reign the calories back in and get my focus back on the dilligence of counting them so that I can get my groove back and start heading back down the scale. Might not have the time left this week to fix what I've already screwed up with the eating. But if I can just get my balance back this week, then next week should look a lot better. Gotta' get consistent and stay that way. :)


  1. WoW Tammy, I can so relate to your post, I had seen the pain quote last night and it really struck a chord with me also. I have had long term back problems similar to you and walking through the pain really is helping at the moment.

    You have a brilliant positive attitude right now, so I think your balance is well on its way back.

    Thank you for you lovely comment on my blog:)
    I have never thought of my self as "Cool" you gave me a real BUZZZ... thank you so much.



  2. I loved her post - it was inspiring!

    I know what you mean about the pain issue. My joints were unbelievable at the beginning. In fact for the first 3 months or so, the pain persisted. I had an achilles tendon injury last year and it was still extremely painful, plus I was terrified of damaging it again. Also all the tendons under that same foot had tightened up and they would really hurt on walks. My ankles, knees, hips and sciatic nerve in my back have been really extremely painful for the last 5 or so years (don't stay fat as you get older!), and every step has been agony.

    Finally, the pain has gone! Well apart from on long walks/runs anyway. Having that sciatic pain go has been the best thing ever - I can sleep properly through the night now and NO MORE PAINKILLERS!

    I am hoping I can defer a hip operation by another 20 years now - maybe avoiding it all together.

    So, yes, I understand how painful it is, but you are doing the right thing, losing weight and moving more really does help those joints and eventually you will be free of the pain.

    Doing weights is a good help too if you can, because if the muscles are stronger around the joints, then they can withstand a bit more.

    Well done with keeping it up - believe me, it does get a lot easier!

  3. I've heard that quote before and I think it's great as well. Although, I tried to remember it when I was in labor and was finally like, "F*ck this, that's too much pain," lol. It does work in spin class though. It's great that you are consistently walking and just working through the pain. It will become less and less as you become lighter and your muscles stronger.

  4. I love it when we read something that really clicks with us. I like Amy's blog very much too!

    I suffer from back issues on and off, and walking is something I can do. Interestingly enough, the treadmill hurts my back, but walking outside doesn't! Weird, huh!

  5. yesyesyes~~

    Good pain is fear and ALL OF WHAT IS HOLDING US BACK exiting the bod.

    have a great tuesday.


  6. That IS a great quote and is inspiring. Glad you have found something to give you that much needed exercise mojo. Some days just the thought of having to exercise is torture, but I know some day I'm going to grow to love it & miss it when I don't do it...not there yet though.

    Keep up the great work.

  7. Hey Tammy,
    I'm sorry to hear about your back pain. My husband is plagued with back troubles as well. You are incredibly brave and strong to keep trying to push yourself through it to make yourself healthier and stronger.

    Also remember not to push yourself too hard, listen to your body. Any chance of yoga or swimming for you? Just a thought of some exercises that wouldn't strain the back so much.

    And finally, I'm so glad you mentioned Amy H. and that fabulous post of hers! That phrase has been stuck in my head ever since I read it too!

    I am in awe of your sweet and generous nature to always be first in your enthusiasm to point out the merit and talents of others. Yet another way you have inspired me! Thank you.^_^

  8. Tammy, I'm so glad that the quote I posted yesterday has inspired you! I started my blog as a way to distract myself from overeating, never realizing that it could do any good for anyone. It makes me feel great that you gleaned something from my ramblings. It kills me that you feel less than adequate on the treadmill. From what you described, you sound like you're doing a great job, and I hope that you'll give yourself more credit for all that you're accomplishing.

  9. I LOVE that quote! Im writing it down and taping it to the exercise bike and treadmill! Good luck this week, you can do it!

  10. Rock on girlfriend! You are the bomb!

  11. Hi Tammy,
    Great post today. Just be safe! I read that quote somewhere else this weekend! Synchronicity.
    Thanks for the comments you leave me. I love them. I understand about financial issues. The beauty I surround myself with are usually pretty inexpensive. I mostly buy from Thrift stores (the vase) and never go to malls! I spend the biggest chunk of my money on good food, that's not negotiable. I hope things start picking up for you soon, so you can get your nails back :) and lose the stress of being laid off.

  12. I can totally relate - I've had issues with back pain too. But I love that quote - so inspiring!

  13. This post is way too important for me to skim---I want to read it closer. I'll be back this afternoon! To leave a real comment! This is a pre-comment comment!!! LOL

    My best always

  14. Great job on all your walking! Have you thought about trying water aerobics? That's how I started out exercising again and it's easy on the joints. Hope you start to feel stronger soon!

  15. WOW! What a great post. Good luck this coming week. You will find that balance. And way to go on all the exercise!

  16. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Wow, new eyes indeed my friend. Your pain must subside as you continue to lose weight. I can't imagine it not getting better. So you're headed in the right direction.
    I'm so proud of you for exercising despite the pain, many would let that stand in their way. I hate to think that you're having pain, I really do, but I'm confident it will improve dramatically as you transform dramatically.

    Consistency. You got that right my friend!

    My best always

  17. Amen! I have lower back pain too, and some days I have to get my husband to tie my shoes for me so that I can even get on that treadmill, but keeping your eyes on that prize will help you take it one step at a time. You are not alone! :D

  18. Tammy, just be cautious! Back pain can become so chronic that it end up an invalid. Let's hope that doesn't happen. Maybe you're over doing it. Maybe just try to go 2 miles only and see if you're still in pain, or maybe down to 1 mile. Go as long as you can without pain and increase it from there. I get pain too when I walk long distances. I'm hoping with each loss the pain eases.

    Actually, my favourite quote is from the Navy Seals. "The only easy day was yesterday"! I'm a Canadian, but gotta love those Seals!