A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Big Reward

Guess what I've been thinking about all day? My goal weight...and more importantly...the month I set to reach it by. I know that some people don't believe in setting a date...they say it's not important...that making up your mind is what's important and once that's done..it doesn't really matter when you get there because you now have the knowledge that you WILL get there.

Well....that might work for some people...but not for me. I'm a flounderer. I have to have a specific goal month set...something to lock my eyes on...something to work towards with everything I have in me...something to get me excited from knowing that with each month that passes and another 10 lbs. gone....I'm really getting there this time. I'm really doing it. It makes it tangible for me. It makes me work harder. It gives me the drive I need to buckle down and get it done.

With that said...I already know within me that I'm not going to completely freak and turn the other way and gain back 200 lbs if I don't hit my goal in April. My mind has already been made about losing the weight, and about doing it in a healthy manner...based on an average loss of 2 lbs/wk or so. If it stretches out a little further because I hit a few plateaus along the way, then I'm okay with that. I'm already expecting the plateaus....it seems to happen to everyone and I'm no different than anyone else. I know I'll hate them when they get here....probably cuss my way all the way through it. But I know they're coming and my goal month is not set in stone.

HOWEVER....in order to keep my focus and my drive at the level it needs to be...I'm going to continue to focus on April. After all these years upon years of being fat, overweight, and eventually obese....I mean YEARS.....April seems like it's only a stone's throw away and that in itself is exciting to me.

I was also thinking about my reward system for every 15 lbs. I really like that idea and I'm glad I did that for myself. As I said before, when I was at my highest point of 340 lbs several years ago....and I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months....I never once rewarded myself that entire time. I should have. I think it's tremendously important to keep the momentum going and give yourself a pleasant little boost inbetween all the egg whites and turkey burger.

Then it hit me the other day. I haven't established the BIG reward for when I reach my goal!!! How could I have forgotten that? The most important reward of them all? Yes I know....there will be little rewards along the way.....fitting into restaurant booths, not breaking chairs, clothes that don't have elastic in the waist, higher self-esteem and confidence, etc. But I want something that I specifically set aside to congratulate myself for finally getting control over my life. For finally taking my life back from Obesity. For finally making my health and my life the most important thing over anything or anyone else. I deserve that, just as we ALL do.

I started thinking about what I love most...what I love to do the most...who I would want to share it with...something that I'd really feel was a substantial reward for all the hard work...for beating the demons that have held me down for so long....for finally, once and for all, breaking the chains of addiction.

And I found my answer. I talked to Dwayne about it and he's all for it. Dwayne, Scarlette and I are taking a 7 day trip to a beach to celebrate my success. Probably going to go to Destin, FL because I love the blue-green waters in the Gulf. As I've mentioned before, I love the water. I can't get enough of it. And now that I don't live anywhere close to it like I did when I lived in Jacksonville, FL.....I miss it so much more. When Dwayne and I make our beach trips now that we live in the middle of Georgia...it's usually to Hilton Head, SC. because it's the shortest distance to drive to get to the ocean....5 hours. I think Destin will be about a 7 hour drive if we go down through Alabama.

I am soooo looking forward to this. And the incentive is already working....we just decided a couple of days ago, and in that short time period I've already caught myself thinking about popping something in my mouth that I shouldn't....would put me over my calories for the day...and I've stopped and remembered Destin. Ocean-front condo....palm trees....blue skies....waves rolling in and lapping against the shore....running with the puppy and flying our kite....sand between my toes....pool and jacuzzi close by....being with Dwayne and Scarlette together for 7 whole days with no phone...no interference from the outside world....

Needless to say....I haven't gone over my calories. I am right on track and that's where I plan on staying.....all the way to Destin. :)

"Quote For The Day"

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself." -Henry Ward Beecher


  1. WoW What A Post.

    You had me forgetting to breath whilst reading it. That was fabulous. You are going to get there, I can feel it. As you know I have a date for my target weight, my 60th Birthday, which is March so I hope to get to mine just before you. I will be trying to keep pace with you all the way.

    Go Tammy Go



  2. That sounds fabulous! It's great that it really helps you when you're thinking of cheating, too. And you'll have to show us pictures of you in the great new bathing suit you'll eventually get for your great new body! Oh, and I love the quote today. I try to do that in every aspect of my life.

  3. I think a beach trip is a teriffic idea! I miss the beach too. I didn't set a final reward when I was losing all my weight. I think my reward, besides the weight loss, was a whole new wardrobe!!

    Keep up your excellent work!

  4. That sounds like a fabulous reward! Do you reward yourself along the way? While I don't have a final goal date in mind, my 40th birthday is this November and I want to be close to my goal weight by then. We have a trip to Vegas planned!

  5. Hi Tammy,
    I think rewards are very important too! For me they were key in finally changing my mindset from always rewarding myself with food if I had been "good".
    Florida. What an awesome reward!!! I'm so excited for you!!! I'll be rooting for you the whole way.
    I went to Florida for the first time EVER in my life when we visited my sister in February. And I loved it. Still miss it almost as much as I miss my sister. I have a picture of the beach at my sister's place for my screen saver. It makes me feel connected to her and the beach still.
    So, here's to Destin!!!^_^

  6. Wonderful post. I love reading how you think. You've got an attitude of a winner Tammy. You have the knowledge and the power...That trip will happen. And you're so earning it everyday!


  7. Amy H....yes, I do reward myself along the way. I will giving myself a small reward for every 15 lbs lost. With 90 lbs to lose, that will be a reward 6 times during my travels and I think that's just the momentum I need to keep things fresh and moving along! After I met my first 15 lb. goal, the plan was to go buy myself a new shirt/top/blouse. However, my boyfriend intervened and told me to spend $100 on clothes and he'd pay for it...so I ended up with 3 tops and a new pair of shoes. :)

  8. i totally agree to rewards along the way, and an ultimate reward. Mine is Hawaii. Never been. :) And I don't want to go until i can be perfectly comfortable in a plane seat and in a bathing suit getting my picture taken.

    I had a goal in mind to do it by my 40th birthday. After a few months, I realized it wasn't going to happen, I spent 3 months "plateauing".. for me, it meant, i wasn't doing the program. Every week i failed to meet my 2 lb goal, I got more dejected, and more fatalistic about it. "i'm never going to be thin, never going to lose this weight".

    I love your realism, and your honesty with yourself. Make sure you tag this for a 're-read'... for when you're feeling low. This will be a great reminder to you of your goals, and forgiving yourself too.

    I've looked at Destin, Fla.. I think that may have to be one of my goal places too.. maybe for 100 lbs lost? it's gorgeous there!

  9. Sheilagh....we'll meet those goals side by side girl...the only thing that's standing between us and our goals is time...each day we buckle down and get it done is a day closer to the freedom that we crave...I'm glad we found each other to keep each other company along the way! :)

    Screwdestiny....what a lovely thought about showing everyone pics in my great new bathing suit! Unfortunately...ain't gonna' happen, lol. I have got serious loose skin issues already from going from 340 to 251. After another 70 lbs gone, I absolutely shudder at the thought of how bad it's going to be. Nothing will fix it except about $20k worth of surgery. Totally sucks that I'm poor! lol I'm afraid I'm destined to wear those suits with the little black skirts over them for the rest of my life. That's why my emphasis with my weight loss is on health and not appearance. I'm afraid I'm going to lose out in the appearance category. Here's to health!! :)

    Diane....I can't even imagine where I'm going to find the money for a whole new wardrobe, lol...thank God Dwayne's paying for the Destin trip...and thank you for the continued support! :)

    Amy H....Yes, I reward myself every 15 lbs, as I mentioned in a comment above...great incentive! :)

    Amy....well since you love FL as much as I do...maybe we'll meet up there one day and celebrate US!!! :)

    Sean...thank you for the attitude compliment...and for supporting me every single step of the way with your daily comments! :)

    Amos....you meet me in Destin and I'll meet you in Hawaii!!! :)

  10. That sound great Tammy ! You should hang some postcard like pictures of beach scenes, or even some pics off the computer of Destin, hung strategicaly where you will see them for the visual reminder of your great prize at the end. I agree with you completely. I am the same way when it comes to structured goals, plans, etc. I strive harder when my eyes are on the result. Maybe a picture of Destin taped to your treadmill? As your walking you can imagine your walking "there" to Destin :) Hope your knee is doing better today. I left a note on your other post about taping your knee for extra support.
    Thank you for all your supportive words. Your awesome !