A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

My Guy

I haven't said a whole lot about my boyfriend, Dwayne, since I started this blog, but after the sweet weekend I had with him I felt the need to share. :)

Dwayne and I have been dating for 5 years. My friend Pam in Florida, http://www.thinnerin08.blogspot.com/, is my best girlfriend and my roommate Shane is my best guy friend....but Dwayne...he's my BESTEST friend, and I'm his. He's college-educated, polished and diplomatic when he needs to be...but he's also very much a guy's guy....he's the funny guy, everybody's buddy or "bro", can throw back the beers with the best of 'em, and he's also the instigator in his group of buddies. In fact, I found out his nickname in the fraternity he belonged to in college was "Bueller", if that tells you anything.

As far as his role as a boyfriend, I have very few complaints. I've never had to pick him up drunk from a bar, drag him out of a strip club or bail him out of jail. So that's a plus. He's bought me jewelry for every Valentine's Day, birthday and Christmas since I've known him...except for this past Christmas. He really outdid himself this time. He gave me the cutest, sweetest, most precious puppy dog in the whole world. She is my angel, my sunshine, and I just love her to pieces. Major, MAJOR points for Dwayne. He's a good Daddy to Scarlette....he's bought her tons of toys, leashes, harnesses, pee pads, bags of treats and paid for all of her medicines (flea and heartworm pills) and all of her vet visits since I got her. He also loves to take us to the dog park so she can run around and play with other dogs, as well as take her on vacations with us when at all possible.

Since I got laid off in February of this year, he has given me between $200-300 each and every month to ensure all of my bills are paid, as well as paid off a $700 debt I owed to the IRS because I screwed up my tax forms this year and ended up in the red. Now, I'm not driven by money when it comes to my relationships, but cash and material things just happens to be the way Dwayne expresses his feelings and shows how much he cares. He's very affectionate with hugs and kisses, but he does NOT like to express his emotions verbally. To give you an example, we were together for nearly 4 years before he first told me he loved me (I mean, actually said it out loud). Now, he says it a lot more often....but it took him 4 long years to get comfortable with it. That's just the way my guy is.

As far as day-to-day life with Dwayne, he's pretty typical for a guy. He's sweet and caring and GREAT on holidays (thank God for calendars), but in our day-to-day life, sometimes he doesn't even hear me talking, lol. I get the "Uh huh, yeah, cool, uh huh" responses when I'm trying to tell him something important and he's engrossed in the latest Sci-Fi show on TV. So while I'm busy telling him about all the important things in life while he's busy digging for the remote, I'm thinking in my mind, "He'll never remember or notice this....why am I wasting my breath?"

Well, it turns out he HAS been paying attention to SOME things. A couple of weekends ago Dwayne indulged me and took Scarlette and I to Ft. Mountain to go hiking. I wrote a post about it called "High On Life...and a Mountain". Although it was a rough workout for me...hard time breathing..all of that...I absolutely LOVED it, and Dwayne knew it. Also, on my very first week of weight loss, I lost 6 lbs and was so excited....he showed up at my door that night with a food processor that I've been wanting but couldn't afford. He said he knew I would like to have it to chop up all my veggies and make my healthy recipes, so it was just a little reward for all of my hard work and that he was proud of me. Yay!!!

My birthday is coming up next weekend. Let's talk about Dwayne and birthdays, lol. The first 2 years we were together, he forgot them altogether. The next 2 years, I would give him gentle reminders about a month ahead of time. In fact, last year, I asked him in June, "When's my birthday honey?" and he got upset and snapped at me, saying, "Why do you ask me that?? It's like you want me to get it wrong just so you can get upset and pick a fight with me!!" After getting over my shock of him snapping at me (he's the most laid back guy in the world, so that was probably only the 2nd time in 4 years he had ever done that), I politely told him that I was simply trying to do him a favor by reminding him....because if he forgot me on my actual birthday after being together for FOUR YEARS, it wasn't going to be a fun day for either one of us. Apparently he got the point. :)

Normally Dwayne spends the night at my place on Friday nights but we were both super tired and he had to work really late, so I told him don't worry about it...just come over Saturday morning. Well noon rolled around and he wasn't here yet. I was starting to wonder what was going on when the phone rang. I answered it, and Dwayne yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW BABY!!!!!" (My birthday is on a Sunday this year). I said, "What?" Again he said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW BABY!!!! I REMEMBERED IT THIS YEAR!!!!!!" Bless his little pea-pickin' heart. He was trying to be so "on top of it" this year w/o any reminders from me, that he was a week ahead of time! LOL! As gently as I could, I told him, "Honey....my birthday's not til next weekend....." Long pause. Silence on both ends of the phone. Then we both busted out laughing at the same time. It was one of those great moments in life. He was so proud of himself for remembering, and then so embarassed for getting it wrong, even though it was a "good" wrong by being a week ahead.....and I was just so tickled that my honey bunny tried soooooo hard to remember it this year all on his own. Very sweet. I love moments like that. :)

We're having a birthday party at a friend's house next Sunday to celebrate my special day, but he was so excited about my gift from being psyched about it being "this" weekend, that he didn't want to wait another week for me to open my gift from him. (By the way, knowing Dwayne like the back of my hand and knowing what a procrastinator he is with buying gifts, I now know why he was late getting to my place...he was out shopping. :))

He first gave me the $100 back that he told me to go out and buy clothes with the other day...that was part of my gift. Then he gave me $40 to go to the salon and get a pedicure because he knows how much I adore them, and haven't had the money to do it in a few months. Then he gave me the most beautiful gift bag....so beautiful, I had to ask him if his mom had picked it out for him. He said, "NO!! I picked it out....you like pink, right?" Another "proud-of-my-guy" moment. :) Inside the bag were two books and a card. He told me to wait and open the card at the party next weekend. One of the books is a hiking book!!!!! He's actually been paying attention to my new weight loss goals, and my desire to get out and do things outdoors that I've just been too fat to do. Another reason I haven't pushed the outdoor thing is because of Dwayne. He's not big on traveling or doing a lot of outdoor stuff. For one, he loves to just sit and veg out on the sofa and watch TV/movies on the weekends. Secondly, he doesn't like to sweat, lol. Outdoors in July requires a whole lotta' sweating. And third, he's got this weird thing about not wanting to drive too far to get to places (unless it's a trip to the beach and he's going to be there for a few days).

About the hiking book....it lists 60 places to hike within 60 miles here in Georgia. It is so awesome! He told me that we could start with some local ones (that's the no traveling part), and then work our way out....COOL!! He said we could pack a picnic and take the puppy, and he said we could even get a bag to carry with us for healthy snacks, bottles of water, toys for the puppy, etc. He really put some THOUGHT into this! I was sooooo happy. :) My second book is one listing all of the locations on the coastal southeast, for our little weekend getaways and beach trips!!!! Dwayne and I both LOVE the ocean.......absolutely love it. This second book was just as perfect and thoughtful as the first one.

Finally, I'd like to mention that Dwayne and I are complete opposites on a lot of things when it comes to food. He won't eat a vegetable....I love almost all veggies. He's a carbaholic....loves the white breads, pastas, rice, etc. I eat them in very, very small amounts now....mostly converting to the whole wheat pastas. He loves Coke....I do too, but because of my lifestyle change, I noticed yesterday that I haven't had a Coke in 6 days...GO ME!! He's all about red meat and pork.....I'd say that 90% of my meat content over the last 5 weeks has consisted of turkey, chicken, seafood, and some very lean deli ham. He's got a pretty big sweet tooth.....mine's hardly noticeable.

However, I've noticed some changes lately. He's eating more wheat bread.....he let me know, on his own, that he's been going to Publix and getting 6" turkey subs on wheat for lunches instead of hitting the fast food restaurants. He's drinking a lot more water and a lot less Coke. He doesn't bring junk food into my house anymore. He'll forego the white rice sometimes and eat brown rice with me. And yesterday while we were out and about, we stopped by a Subway and he made sure we got a sub that we could share that I could eat....whole wheat, no cheee, lite mayo, turkey w/ lettuce and tomato. He's still not eating any veggies, past a little lettuce and a thin slice of tomato.....but you never know. I've noticed that because of me finally getting serious about the weight loss and making some healthy lifestyle changes....that he's picking up on it...and willingly. I haven't pressed him to change anything and have no plans to. Everyone has to do it for themselves.

So this is my guy....I just adore him. He's a great supporter of my lifestyle changes, he takes care of me and the puppy, and I'm glad that the healthier eating and the outdoor exercising/hiking is starting to rub off on him. I hope everyone has had as nice of a weekend as I have. Talk to you tomorrow! :)

"They can because they think they can." -Virgil


  1. He sounds just lovely! One of the good guys.

    Love the sound of that hiking book, you are right, he really thought it all out - a keeper!

  2. Sounds like he is taking care of you! Have a great day!

  3. He sounds like a great guy for you. And it's great that he's so supportive.

  4. Thanks for the comments ladies....I'm 36 year old and I think I FINALLY found a keeper! :)

  5. He does sound like a great guy Tammy! Reminds me a lot of my husband from the things you wrote about. And we've been together for 18 years and still happily chugging along! And I second the motion "thank god for calendars"! LOL!

  6. Amy....yes, lol, thank God for calendars. :)