A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I Dropped A Size?? Are You Sure??

First, I want to say thank you to all the wonderfully supportive people who have been leaving comments on my blog. I love, love, love to read them. Please keep them coming!

Secondly, I want to give a warm welcome and hello to all the new followers!! That just gets me so excited and makes me happy to no end. For those of you who haven't started at the beginning of my blog and read all the way through, let me tell you that my travels that I share with you aren't always smooth sailing. Some are happy, silly posts while some are downright depressing, lol. My intent with this blog is to be REAL...the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm glad you decided to tag along for the ride as I do whatever it takes to stay in this battle against Obesity until I've won. :)

Clothes shopping. I absolutely hate it....hate it with a passion. But I had to do some today. It is my intention to reward myself with something for every 15 lb. loss I accomplish. My first thought was Jillian Michaels' book "Master Your Metabolism". If you didn't read my post entitled "Jillian's Jewels of Knowledge" yet, please go back and read it. It's a super long one, but definitely one worth reading. It talks about hormone issues and the right "super foods" to correct them and level them out. I have about 85% of the problems listed in that post, so now I'm all over this whole foods thing, trying to get my body working efficiently instead of working against me.

Anyhoo, Jillian's book is $26 and that was a wee bit pricey for my budget. I'm going out with some friends and my boyfriend Dwayne tomorrow night for "Friend's Night Out". I have been wearing a size 26/28 from my highest point of 340 lbs up until now at 254 lbs. Let me tell ya'....elastic is an amazing thing. As I was telling someone the other day, I wish I was the gazillionaire who thought that stuff up. But at this point, my clothes are getting ridiculously baggy and I wanted to buy a new blouse so I wouldn't show up to meet my friends looking like a hobo. I got a coupon in the mail from Fashion Bug for $10 off a $30 purchase and decided to spend $20 on a top for my reward.

Dwayne called before I headed out the door and I told him my plan. He said, "Damn! You ruined my surprise!" Huh? He said he was going to give me $100 next weekend for my birthday as a gift to buy some new clothes because he's noticed how baggy mine are getting. (Can I just say how nice it is when guys who never notice anything, notice something as important as this?) He told me to go ahead and spend the $100 now out of my moving money (moving to a new place next month), and he'd give it back to me next weekend. Awesome!! Time to shop!!

First of all, clothes stores for fat girls are limited to start with. I've been buying 80-90% of mine at this one store, Fashion Bug, because their prices are about half that of Lane Bryant. Plus they send me coupons. :) I used to shop at the one in Cartersville, but they closed it down last summer...July in fact. So I had to start going to one in Woodstock. Got there today and saw signs all over the windows "STORE CLOSING", "ALL SALES FINAL", "NO COUPONS"....and the store was already half empty of merchandise. Everything had already been picked over and what was left was stuff that not even the LEAST fashion-conscious person would wear, even for a fattie.

Next, I had to think of another fat girl's store. Thinking.....thinking. There's Cato's, but out of the 50x I've been in there, I think I've only bought 2 tops. They have a LOT of sleeveless stuff in the summer, and I do NOT do sleeveless. Oh how I wish I could....it kills me that I can't...but the lower part of my upper arm hangs down ridiculously low. It looks like I have wings....no joke. I bet if I flapped my arms hard enough I could take flight with these babies. Hate 'em. I've always been jealous of those fat girls that have hard, solid fat and can get away with the cute sleeveless shirts. I have that soft, squishy, loose-skin fat....the worst kind. If anyone is close, personal friends with a plastic surgeon who wouldn't mind doing some Pro Bono work....let me know....I'm sure gonna' need it when I reach my goal.

I knew where a Lane Bryant was so I drove over there, cussing all the way. I just HATE paying their prices. In the same parking lot, there was a Kohl's. I've looked in here before and never been able to find my size that looked like something other than what my grandmother would wear. But since they're probably cheaper than Lane Bryant (not by much, it turns out), it was time to give it another shot. I finally found 1 shirt in there and got it. It's a 22/24...major milestone here. I've been in a 26/28 for years and years. I know this sounds weird....stupid, really...but I wanted to pick up the 26/28 so bad. I didn't even want to try on the 22/24 because I was scared it wouldn't fit and then I'd feel stupid for thinking it might fit in the first place. But I held my breath and tried it on. It fit. Weird. Let out my breath and it still fit. I mean, without hugging my fat rolls. If I was one of those people that wore clothes like they were a second skin, I could probably get into an 18/20, but I prefer not to look like my clothes have been painted on, thank you. :)

I ran next door to the Lane Bryant and managed to find 2 more blouses. These were sleeveless so I'll have to wear this little short, white, lightweight sweater that I have to go over just such things. I also found a pair of wine-colored flats that match 2 of the 3 shirts...very cool. So...all in all, the shopping trip went pretty good. I'm actually in a smaller size than I ever thought I'd reach. I seriously think I must have programmed myself to think that a 26/28 was "my size" and would be for the rest of my life. I'm still not entirely comfy with the 22/24. It's almost like I'm scared I'll blow up overnight and it won't fit tomorrow. Like I said, weird. Leave it to me to find something that anyone else would be exhilirated over, like buying smaller clothes, to be downright nerve-racking to me. :)

For those of you who asked me for my ideas for little rewards...I'm first going to copy and paste the ideas Pam gave me today in an email:

The kitchen gadgets are awesome because they will help keep you on track - like a kitchen scale, a mandolin slicer, stuff like that....

Costume jewelery - you can get cute watches and bracelets for less than 15.00 at Target, Cato, Wal Mart....

Go get some stuff from Bath and Body works - work on a set, lotion one time, bath gel the next....

Start a collection of something, then you will always have it to remind you of your journey....it could be salt and pepper shakers, coffee mugs, glasses, plates....

To add to this....it all depends on what your budget is....I would LOVE to have a new pair of running shoes for the treadmill, but can't afford them right now. Something cheaper would be a great book to help you with the weight loss battle....or even one from the genre you prefer if you enjoy a little time to yourself for reading while sipping your tea or coffee. If you still need to go cheaper, the kitchen gadgets are a GREAT idea. I saw something really cute the other day in Ross. It was a heart-shaped utensil (like a cookie-cutter) that you would use in a skillet to pour your scrambled eggs (or egg whites for me), or pancakes into. Adorable. It could signify how much you love yourself for FINALLY getting it right....for saying "NO MORE".....for finally taking control of your weight, your body, your future....what you pick doesn't have to be expensive, but it would be cool to make it something symbolic. :)

I got all of my fresh veggies and melons chopped and put away in the frig for easy use all through the week. Preparedness is so, so important when it comes to eating the right foods. I baked a turkey breast in the oven, brushed with a little olive oil and covered in tasty spices so I can shred it up and use it for sandwiches on my whole wheat wraps. I made a lovely French-style Pork Stew for dinner in the crockpot. Two of my favorite combinations of flavors is rosemary and pork. It's just so fragrant, so aromatic....it was awesome to come home from the shopping trip, open the door, and smell my apartment flooded with such a wonderful aroma. I used a 97% fat free pork tenderloin half, which was 16 oz. of meat. I added the calories for everything in the pot, divided it by 3 for 3 separate svgs (each svg. probably being around 2, 2 1/2 c.) and my dinner was 400 calories. Not bad. I'm staying within my calorie limit and it feels good. :)

I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend. I will be posting each night, but it will most likely be late. I read a wonderful quote on Sean's blog the other day. It said, "We know too much to turn back now". Yes, we surely do. Onward!

Pam provided the quote for tonight....I love it...and you will be seeing more Bible verses intertwined in the inspirational quotes in the future. :)

"Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:5


  1. Yeah for a smaller size! Hopefully you'll enjoy shopping even more in the future as you seem to be the incredible shrinking woman. :-D

  2. Sorry, I forgot to add that I don't know where you're looking for that book, but you can probably get it for about $18 (with s&h) on Amazon. Here's the link.


  3. Buying smaller sizes is so exciting - enjoy wearing your lovely new clothes!

  4. Hurrah for dropping a size! That is exciting.
    I totally understand the worry about actually belonging in that size. I think it takes longer for our brains to catch up to our changing bodies.
    Also loved the reward ideas you posted. Hadn't thought of the kitchen gadgets one! So thanks for those.
    And if it makes you feel any better, I have the same "wing arms" that you do. I hate to do sleeveless. UGH!

  5. Loved the scripture at the end--I'm thinking that the reason it hasn't been "brought to pass" for me is because of MY lack of committment!

    You are doing so great! Congrats on the shopping! whoo hoo!

  6. Clothes shopping was always something I dreaded because at the big and tall store a hundred bucks doesn't buy much. Plus, the bigger the size, the less selection---and the bigger sizes are always the horrible designs for some reason. I guess they think that morbidly obese people need not look good, only covered.
    I think your reward system will be a wonderful tool for you!


  7. Thanks everyone for the awesome comments...it's so great to have your own little cheering section...I absolutely love it! Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! :)

  8. I feel exactly the same way about "my" size (22/24). I can't quite accept the fact that I will ever be below that size and when I shop and find that I am, I'm sure it must be a fluke or an odd sized item or something! :-)