A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Aspirations

Wow!! Sean's Letter sure did solicit a huge response. There's obviously too many comments for me to address each one individually, so thanks to all of you for taking the time to leave me a message. I'm glad that most of you received the same blessing from it that I did.

Today is WAY better than yesterday in regards to food. I've already had dinner and even a Weight Watchers big, fat fudge bar for dessert (110 calories), and I still have 400 calories left for the day! This is what I mean on the days that I tell you I have to make myself get up to 1550, just to be consistent. By the way, Pam helped me with my fitness section on my nutrition guide. I've been steadily increasing the speed on the 20 mins I've been doing on the treadmill. The first couple of days I was burning 209 calories each time and now I'm up to 292. The nutrition tracker automatically readjusted my calorie limits and now my top number is no longer 1550, it's 1590, so that's where I've been eating at for the last 3 days.

I was thinking about all the things I miss today in regards to food....Grandma's Baked Macaroni and Cheese....Mom's potato salad that nobody else in the world can seem to get right.....Aunt Shirley's chicken and dumplings, the ones that Cracker Barrell tries to imitate but doesn't even come close to.....garlic fried pork chops and ginger fried chicken.........and then I stopped. I told myself that instead of focusing on the things that have led me to the size that I am and caused me all this hard work in the first place, why don't I focus on the things that I won't miss?

Things I Won't Miss

Not being able to squeeze into restaurant booths w/o Fire and Rescue having to call in the Jaws of Life to get me out.

Hiking up a mountain w/o looking around to see where's a good spot to land the Life Flight helicopter in case my heart finally announces, "I surrender".

Being able to wear my cute little high-heeled sandals again w/o looking like a potato on stilts.

Fat rash. If you're not fat enough to know what this is, don't even ask me...I'm not explaining it.

Being able to wear Dwayne's hoodies in the wintertime w/o waddling around looking like the Michelin man.

I'm sure there are more things that I won't miss, but these are all the ones I've come up with so far. I'll give you an updated list on down the road. I'm nervous as usual since it's Weigh-in Eve, but I feel like there should be a decent loss on the scale in the morning. I know you're not supposed to hope for a certain amount, but after busting my a$$ all week, I'm looking for at least 3 lbs. If you don't see my weight loss post pretty early in the morning, chances are I've thrown myself on the ground, kicking and screaming and shaking my head like a crazy woman, crying out to God, "Why?! Why?!?! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!"

It's either going to be that or the buck-naked Happy Dance....neither one of them are going to be pretty. :)

Pam gave me the quote for tonight's post...it's a good one. Sleep well and sweet dreams to all.

"Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Roberta Brenick

6 comments:

  1. OMG Fat rashes - I HATE THEM! (Its on my list in my sidebar on my blog, too!) Here's to both of us getting rid of them for good!

    ReplyDelete
  2. fat rashes.. oh.. do i know what you mean..

    thanks for stopping by my blog!! i'm checking you out! Sorry... i don't know who Sean is yet... I'll have to read on, and hope you linked him. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my...I am an absolute nut for baked macaroni and cheese!!! I don't have enough calories for some today...
    But tomorrow---Oh my, I may have some!

    Wonderful post and great list of things you will not miss!

    I really like and appreciate your heartfelt sense of humor. I feel like your attitude is in such a great place---it's going to carry you to amazing heights.

    I loved the quote too!
    Thank you for all you do!

    Blessings
    Sean

    ReplyDelete
  4. Glad to hear today wasn't too difficult for you. And it's great that you're focusing on the positives--the crappy stuff you'll be able to leave behind, instead of just all the stuff you're giving up. 'Cause really, once you get to where you want to be, you aren't going to have to give it up for forever. By then you'll have learned portion control, and eating things in moderation, so you'll just be maintaining, and you'll be able to treat yourself sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love the list of things you won't miss - I don't miss them either. I actually got stuck in a rocking chair once, and had it hanging off the back of myself. Not good.

    Great post, and good eating choices!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, by the way, here is a baked mac and cheese recipe that you can still have, and its good!:

    http://lobsterandfishsticks.com/2009/03/13/macaroni-and-four-cheeses/

    ReplyDelete