Someone Noticed

Still trying to focus on the positive during my "blah" week. This actually happened a few days ago and I just haven't reported the good news yet.

I went by the apartment complex that I just moved from a month ago to pay the final utility bill. I walked in the office to give Christy the check. As soon as I opened the door, before I even made it down the hall to her office, I heard her exclaiming, "OMG Tammy, look at you!!! I walked in to her office and said, "Look at what?". She saw me through her office window walking up the sidewalk. She was FREAKING OUT at how much weight I've lost.

She went on and on, telling me how fantastic I looked, with this incredibly shocked look on her face. Her mouth was hanging open, jaw nearly hitting the floor. I kind of half-smiled, half shook my head, quite perplexed. I told her I just saw her a month ago...why was she acting like she hadn't seen me in a year?? She said she sees a tremendous difference from a month ago. Still perplexed, I told her I really hadn't lost that much more since the last time I saw her, less than 10 lbs. in fact.

According to her I look way smaller than a month ago. I know what the scale says, so the only thing I can figure is maybe all the walking I'm doing every day is causing me to lose a lot of inches?? Who knows....but her shock and amazement and continuous gushing over my appearance was very uplifting.

I also posted some progress pics and pics from my Cherokee trip on my Facebook page. I got a few nice replies to those as well, and that made me feel great, too. Another cool thing is I got a message from a friend from grade school today that found me on Facebook about a month or so ago. Her name is Cherie, and she let me know she's been reading my blog every day and is really enjoying it. I didn't even know she knew about my blog!! So....HI CHERIE!!! Thanks for reading girl!

Cherie made a comment that she wished she had the same willpower as me. I'd like to tell her, and anyone else reading, that I don't know if it really comes down to willpower. It comes down to a decision, or as Jack Sh*t called it in one of his awesome posts, A Day of Reckoning. Make sure you find him on my blogroll and find that post in his archives if you haven't read it yet. It's life-changing for those of you sitting on the fence. One day, I just got tired.

I got tired of being obese, of watching my health deteriorate at a high rate of speed, of being on so many meds, of seriously thinking about my own mortality. I got tired of wondering if I was going to be around long enough to watch my nieces and nephews grow up and if I was going to be healthy enough to be any help to my parents as they age. I got tired of being the fat girl, and all the heartache that goes along with it. I got tired of being tired. I was ready. Ready for a new life, a new goal, a new me.

So I made the decision to get the weight off and that was it. There IS no turning back. It's simply not an option. I've lost weight before, and gained some of it back. I didn't do it in a healthy way. I just ate way too few calories and exercised my butt off. My eating habits didn't evolve into healthy ones. I didn't learn anything about nutrition. I didn't do anything that would lead to a lifetime change....permanent weight loss and maintenance for the rest of my life.

This time is different. Now I'm doing it the right way. I made The Decision. This is the last time I will ever have to lose weight. I am making changes in my eating habits that have become part of who I am now. What I crave is changing to healthier things. Things that I once loved as an obese person, I now almost find repulsive. I'm working out the mental/emotional things that led to my obesity in the first place as I go along. Each day that I take a walk and get my body moving, I'm getting a little stronger. I'm building endurance.

I am on the road to freedom. The great thing about this road is that there's room for everyone. Anyone and everyone that wants to change their life for the better....the path is waiting. And the really cool thing about this particular path to Freedom, is it travels right through the middle of Blogland. So many wonderful, brilliant, endearing, strong, encouraging people traveling with you. It helps to know you're not alone. The road isn't always smooth...it gets rough and bumpy in some spots. But it is most definitely a road worth taking....because what's waiting at the end....freedom....has GOT to be one of the best feelings in the world. Can't wait to get there. :)

Pam provided me with today's quote...it's just fabulous. :)

Quote For the Day:

"Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears." -Richard Wilkins