A food addict's travels on the road to recovery.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Wow! Guess What I Did?!

As I said in my last post, I reached my next 15 lb. lost mini-goal and it was time for another reward. When I reached my first 15 lb. marker, I didn't have to buy myself anything because Dwayne gave me $100 to buy a few new pieces of clothing for dropping a size. It was a lovely surprise! Well, when he got here Friday evening, he handed me ANOTHER $100 for reaching this current goal...I was shocked! It was awesome the first time, but I never even thought he would do it again. I'm guessing he wants to be a part of the reward process because he's proud of all of my hard work.

So it looked like I wasn't going to be buying myself anything again this time...until I realized something last night. When I started my travels this time on the road to permanent weight loss, I started in June of this year and was 272 lbs. I set an arbitrary ending goal of 180 lbs. I stated early on that I have no desire to be stick thin, and actually prefer the look and feel of a curvier body. I am 5'10 in heighth and do remember a time many years ago when I weighed 200 lbs. and could tuck in my shirts w/o any embarassment. So I'm figuring 180 is good for now. If I get there, and want to drop lower, then that's cool. But I'm going to consider reaching the 180 lb. mark my true success for what I started out to do.

With all of this said, I got to thinking last night about my very highest weight several years back. It was 340 lbs. I remember thinking after I crossed over the 300 lb. threshold that I had reached a point of no return. A 300 lb. girl? There was no turning back, I remember thinking. Once you let yourself go that far, well there's just no hope left in sight. Or so I thought.

Thank God I was wrong about that. I reached a point where something "clicked" and I decided that I COULD take the weight off, and I was going to, come Hell or high water. And that's just what I set out to do. I lost 83 lbs. in 7 months (and no, I didn't do it the right way). I went from 340 lbs. to 257 lbs. and I was sailing down the scale. I was on fire! And then I met Dwayne, lol. The weight loss stopped. All of a sudden my attention that was dead set on the weight loss had been fully diverted and squarely placed on my blue-eyed guy. What a mistake that was, lol. I love my fella to pieces, but I should have NEVER, EVER taken my eyes off the goal.

I slowly gained back 33 of those lbs. over the next 4 years or so. Thank goodness I didn't gain it all back and plus some, like I read about so many others that do. I remember when I finally got around to noticing that I was sitting at 290 lbs., almost at the 300 marker again, I said "WHOA NELLY!!" This is NOT happening again. I refuse to see 300 lbs. ever again. The problem was, I didn't really make the right mental changes to get it off. I didn't have the "click" that I had before. I prayed for it, over and over, but it just didn't happen. It's like I wanted to lose the weight, but couldn't find the willpower and desire to put forth the same effort I did before.

I very, very slowly dropped 20 lbs. over the course of a year, and then kept jumping between 266 and 272 lbs. Fluctuating week after week, up/down up/down...and that's when I finally decided to see what this blogging stuff was all about. My best friend Pam whose blog is Journey To The Healthier Side Of Life, and listed on my blogroll, had been blogging for quite some time, and I decided to give it a shot. Thank God I did. Blogland is where I found my inspiration. So many inspiring people out there, doing what I yearned to do for myself. And alas, From Fat to Fab was born. My starting weight was 272 lbs.

My realization came last night though from remembering that I once was 340 lbs. I am now 241.8 as of my last weigh-in. Is everyone doing their subtraction??? I've lost dang near 100 lbs. from my highest point!!!! Holy cow!!! That's amazing!!!! Well, I couldn't let that pass me by without buying myself a reward....one that came from me and not Dwayne. I don't know why....Dwayne's gift of cash for clothing is deeply appreciated and I'm very touched...but there's just something about buying a little something for you...from you.

I went to a bookstore with my Mom today and found the perfect little gift. I collect cookbooks and found one called Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly. It's full of healthy, low-fat recipes for your crockpot/slow cooker and they list all of the nutritional value for each recipe!!! I love to find recipes that already have the calories figured out, and now I have a whole book full of them!! Perfect!! And it only cost me $15.95 to boot. Yay!

I am extremely pleased with my little purchase. My pocketbook didn't suffer too badly, and my new cookbook signifies a tremendous amount of hard work and effort to get to a healthier me. What better gift to give yourself than something that will further the good that you're working so hard to accomplish? Books last forever. I want my weight loss to last forever. I can continue to use this book during maintenance. It's just an excellent choice all the way around and I'm glad I made it. :)

Tomorrow is Labor Day, and rather than have to face someone else's cookout with the trepidation that always seems to creep up on me with holiday eating, I decided to take the reigns and have my own cookout! This was my evil plan so I can control ALL the food that is available....very cool. Labor Day marks the "end of summer", and summer is synonymous with seafood to me when it comes to food, so Mom's coming over to help me grill some salmon, shrimp, baby scallops and veggie kabobs. It's going to be fantastic!! My roommate Shane will be here, along with my parents, one of my sisters, Amy, and 2 of my nieces and nephews, Carla and Cyress. It's going to be a lovely time filled with food choices that I can feel good about. I'm really looking forward to it!

I still don't own a digital camera, but Shane does, so if I can remember, I'm going to get him to show me how to use it, and load the pics from it onto my computer, and then how to access them, and will probably get Pam (my blog guru) to show me how to post them on here. I'm severely challenged when it comes to these types of things, so we'll see. I love the blogs, like Amy H.'s at No To The Deuce, that always post food pics and recipes. I'd like to start adding some of my own pics.

I have a few pics of my puppy Scarlette saved on my computer from the last time Dwayne and I went to Hilton Head, SC for a weekend getaway. It was overcast, so the pics aren't bright and sunny, but if I can get Pam to help me tomorrow, then I'll try to put some up of my baby to show you.

I hope everyone has a fun, happy and safe holiday, surrounded by close family and friends, and filled with good eating choices! We can do this!! Doesn't it feel great to know you're finally on the right road to a happier, healthier you?? I think so, too!!

Quote For The Day:

"Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." -Ralph Bluen

10 comments:

  1. Wow! Nearly 100 pounds gone... fantastic would be an understatement! You should be super proud of this enormous accomplishment!

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  2. I need a Dwayne in my life to throw cash at me for new clothes...I could reach my goal in half the time! :)

    Congrats on your mini goal and congrats on rewarding yourself...enjoy the cook out! We'll be picnicing and hiking for the holiday. I look forward to reading how your day went.

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  3. What a wonderful discovery...to realize you've came even further then you thought you did!! almost 100 pounds is wonderful Tammy and you are well on your way to be where you want to be, no matter where that is...cannot wait to see some recent pics! And some pics of your blue-eyed guy...Have a wonderful and safe holiday, and have lots of fun at your own created picnic....thats the way to do it!!
    Love,
    Iene

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  4. Tammy, you sound great! Your happiness and joy are spilling out into blogland with this post.

    You've come so far from that 340 lbs! It's wonderful to see all the positive changes you've made in your life. And it is great to be on the right road this time.

    Can't wait to see your pictures! Have a great holiday.

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  5. 100 pounds lost overall is really fantastic! That should show you that you are definitely strong enough to get to your goal weight.

    That's a great idea to have the cookout at your place. You'll be able to enjoy your company and food without worrying about wrecking your diet. :) Have a happy Labor Day!

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  6. That is so awesome Tammy! Keep up the good work.

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  7. WOW!!! how truly amazing you are to have come so far! Well done and I hope you have a great cook out!

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  8. You go, girlie!! I am so proud of all your many accomplishments!

    And I've never heard of a seafood bbq, but as soon as you said it, it sounded juuuuuuust right! Mmm-mm!! Way to take the reigns! :D

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  9. 100 pounds is absolutely awesome, and I'm so glad that you went out and found yourself a little "happy." That's what my friend always called a little gift to herself, or one she gave to friends!!

    Here's to you Tammy!!!

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  10. 100 lbs? You've lost a skinny person...a teenager! Nice job! Furthermore, I am glad you decided to get on this blog. In the short time that we've been communicating, I have been able to soak up inspiration and encouragement from you. You're priceless! I feel so accountable to people like you. "Tammy has confidence that I can do this. I should too!" Love ya! And the cook-out was a great idea. Wish I was there!

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